A/N: Thank you for the beautiful reviews! (does a happy dance and people give me odd looks) And yippee this chapter is a bit LONGER!

Disclaimer: I'll let you know if I ever get to owning PotC...


The day after the ship arrived in Port Royal, she was allowed to explore the area, and she remembered it as the most freely spent day of her life. The maid's daughter, Rose, had been told to take her around town and to the beach. It was the first time she had seen such a long stretch of sand all her life, and she was fascinated by it and the way the water washed the sand smooth and ran back. There was a small flow of water coming from somewhere beyond the beach that ran through the sand and to the sea, and for a while, though she was told that being twelve and turning into a young lady she ought not to be behaving in such an unseemly manner, she amused herself with building a tiny wall of stones, shells, and sand in the water's path, trying to block the flow.

Rose joined Elizabeth a while later out of sheer boredom and together they successfully held the water back for a surprisingly long time.

"It's not going to stand for much longer," said Rose, dusting the sand from her hands.

"It looks strong though, doesn't it?" said Elizabeth, watching as the water gathered higher and higher in the little ditch.

"Yes." Rose glanced at Elizabeth before looking back at their work. "But the water is stronger, I'm sure. There's no point trying to swim against a river's current forever--you just can't." She moved a finger around in the water, and added, "Sometimes, Miss Elizabeth, it feels good to let the water carry you."

"Then why did you help me?" asked Elizabeth, seeing the water starting to overflow and loosen the pieces of the wall, not entirely pleased that Rose was right.

"Because," said Rose simply, "I wanted to see how long you can hold before the current carries you away."


Elizabeth opened her eyes and blinked. She was lying on her bed, and realized she must have fallen asleep, lulled by the steady rhythm of the beating... of the heart... of his heart...

She sat up, the Chest falling onto the thin mattress, and brushed the hair from her face with thoughts swirling through her mind. That memory... it had been so long ago that she hadn't even recognized it when she woke up. My first memory of Port Royal... Why would I suddenly remember that? I wasn't very fond of Port Royal, and why would it come in a dream...? She shook her head, again telling herself that she was going mad. She picked up the Chest and stowed it carefully in her trunk, and walked out her cabin quietly.

She saw by the still-dark sky that she hadn't been asleep for very long. Jack was standing at the helm, and to her astonishment despite that it was night the deck of the Queen was bathed in light. A thin coat of unmelted snow covered the wooden planks, the water was dark and still with the tiniest of ripples and the stars scattered over the surface, but most of all, all around the ship towered icebergs taller than the main mast, with faint blue cores but shiny white surfaces that reflected the beams of moonlight. Chunks of pure white ice drifted by slowly, and ahead of the bow there lay more and more ice, covering the sea with only the narrowest of waterways to maneuver the ship through.

All of a sudden it felt like a strange form of happiness was a thousand steps closer... She ran across deck to Jack and smiled.

"We're in the frozen ocean, aren't we?" she said enthusiastically, "I remember, it looked just like this--oh isn't it beautiful?"

Jack did not say anything and his expression remained the same content look he had whenever he was steering, but she could feel a change, and he seemed... in a way, disappointed?

"Jack?" She frowned a little.

"Aye, luv?"

She looked at him curiously, for the first time in ages really looked at him, took in his confident hands and proud but casual posture. She stepped closer involuntarily, stared at his face and tried hard to resist the strange, sudden urge to trace the outline of his lips...

What are you thinking, Elizabeth?!

"Did I... upset you...?"

"Darling," said Jack, "if you had upset me I would be upset. Do I look upset?"

"No--you just look--different..."

"Ah," he said, "I would be upset if I look different. Different would mean that I look not the same as usual, and usual would be that I look exceedingly different from everyone else's 'usual,' so I would look the same as everyone else's usual if I looked different. Do I look like everyone else's usual?"

Elizabeth had a perplexed expression on her face, wondering where the conversation was going.

"No, didn't think I did," continued Jack, "therefore I do not look different, and am not upset, savvy?"

Elizabeth nodded absently, then shook her head, and said, "I only meant... well I just thought--"

She sighed and gave up on the matter.

"I just came on deck to see where we are, that's all," she said a moment later. "And then... the frozen ocean! We're almost at the waterfall, and we're almost--He will be at World's End, won't he? Oh, Jack--"

She put a hand on his unconciously.

"Jack... Thank you."

"We're not there yet, luv."

"Yes, but..."

And instead of a rush of excitement and wild happiness soaring in her heart, she could only remember the fears she'd had... about afterwards.

Where would she go? She had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from the exhaustion and the weight of waiting... And there it was, staring her in the face, taunting her as she looked out at the gleaming sea--she had a life to live, and yet she could never be able to live it, she had devoted all her years to waiting... for what?

She remembered her dream.

"There's no point trying to swim against a river's current. Sometime it feels good to let the water carry you." To for once take the easier path, to let go, to stop fighting... to act on selfish impulse.

Waiting... for a few days... and as much as she hated herself for feeling that way, she knew she wanted to lie back, let the water carry her away, to forget the waiting, forget the ten years. Here was her chance, before her, and she told herself she couldn't take it, that she had to be strong and faithful, but it was too alluring, the opportunity that no one was telling her not to take, to be able to have all her freedom, to be able to really, truly live her life... She couldn't, and yet how she needed it! Could she just let go and try it...? Don't. You can't! But she knew that no matter what she told herself--eventually--she wouldn't be able to resist.

She continued to stare at Jack, and he could see from the look in her eyes that she was focused on her thoughts deep inside, and he could see a change in her, too, a new beginning... He pulled her closer, brushed her hair from her face, stroked her smooth skin with the back of his fingers, played with her hair a little, and moved his hands more, down her gracefully poised neck, caressed the hollow at the base of her throat, traced the line of her collarbone...

"Jack," she whispered, "Jack, don't. Please." Her voice was barely audible.

He stopped but kept his hand on her silk-like skin.

"I'm sorry," she said, a little louder, in a desperate last attempt to fight her feelings, "I can't. We can't. It would never work... It can never happen."

She looked into his dark eyes, and to Jack there seemed to be a sadness in her expression.

"Jack... you and I... we come from different worlds." Her voice became soft again. "And we move in different circles."

"We're moving in the same circle now, Lizzie," he said. She shook her head, looked away at the shining ocean.

"You're free," she said simply, scared of the truth in her words, "I'm... I'm just living for those few days in my life."

"Do something about those few decades, darling," said Jack.

Her fingers took Jack's gently off her skin.

"I wish I could," she whispered, "but I can't. And I'm waiting, ten years for one day... Is it even worth it?"

"You decide, darling."

"How could I say that? I'm terrible, but... it's not enough. I can't do this, but I have to, and--and I'm so tired, from waiting, and the sound--of the Chest... I can't do this, Jack."

She squeezed her eyes shut, closed away the cold cruel world.

"I want to give up," she breathed, "And I feel so weak about it... but it's the truth."

Silence hung between them.

"And there's no way out," she continued. "I don't know what I'm thinking, I don't know what's happening to me! I--I've been in love with him since the day we met, I swore I would do anything for him... I thought I could. But--I shouldn't be feeling this way, what's wrong with me?"

She let out a long sigh, again the feeling of all those years ahead of her pressing in on her soul, she felt like she was suffocating, needed fresh air...

"The first few days, it was like living in Hell without him, I couldn't do it, I couldn't stand not seeing him, not feeling him... So I went to find you, I knew you would help me. But still, his absence... it feels like someone's carved a hole in me, or broken me into a thousand pieces..." Her unsaid words resounded in her mind. And when you touch me, it feels like I'm whole again, like I can live. She had wanted so desperately to feel someone's hands, someone's lips on her skin, someone comforting who loved her like she was his entire world... And she couldn't have enough of it, yet she knew she had to remain faithful... Why was it so hard? She wanted to give in, break down and cry away her heart, but that was losing the battle, wasn't it?

I need to feel it again, I need something more, I need to... let go and stop fighting.

Elizabeth, stop! You have to keep going, you can't lose!

And what do I get from winning?

"This life, I can't continue!" she said, frustration and torment pouring out of her. "I hardly even have reason left to live."

She opened her eyes and stood shocked at what she had said. No reason to live? What was she talking about? She lived for Will, that was more than reason enough!

She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself and the emotions burning inside her.

"Darling, I will give you a reason to live." JAck grasped her by her waist and raised her chin, put one hand behind her head and locked his lips with hers with a deep, fiery passion. He kissed her ardently, feverishly, as if her lips were the only thing in the world.

Elizabeth didn't resist him. She was kissing him back, her heart filled with wild desire and an emotion so strong and bold she could not even begin to name it. She felt like all the world had dropped its defenses, had tossed away the cold sharp burdens of her life and thrown her in a completely different place, beautiful, alluring, mesmerizing. The moment their lips had touched she knew, she had let go. She had stopped fighting the river's current, had given in, had let herself feel what it was like to let the water carry her. And though one part of her mind still told her she shouldn't be doing this, she made herself a promise before she drowned herself in blissful realm made by that kiss.

Just once. Just a taste of it, and I swear I will be strong and wait for Will for the rest of my life.

Then she forgot all the worries and fears and let Jack kiss her hair, kiss her eyelids, her cheeks, her throat, and her lips again, the feeling of it so heavenly, so needed that she didn't even think about trying to fight back.