Cold-Blooded


"Don't leave. Please don't leave."

Reid gave her a soft smile and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Did I look like I was going somewhere?"

She considered snapping back with a sarcastic response, because yes, you did, but the fact that he was standing in front of her still had her startled. Reid gently spun her around and guided her back into the room with his hand at the small of her back.

"How did you know?" Elle asked him as she disappeared into the bathroom. There was a soft crinkling sound and then the faucet. She reappeared holding two plastic cups of water and handed one to Reid. He took it and went to sit down at the table.

"You wake up screaming almost every night. That's what you told me. That was before you shot Lee." He looked up at her and took a few sips of water. He put the cup back down when she came over and sat across from him. "I already left once when I should've stayed. I won't do it again."

Elle sighed. "We might get to have that first session after all."

"Why leave until tomorrow what you can do today." Reid shifted in his chair and reached into his pocket to pull out a folded sheet of paper. "Dr. Alexander gave me this list, questions and things." He unfolded it and smoothed it out on the table. "If um, well….if we didn't know where to start."

Elle leaned her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. She raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to ask a question. He picked up the paper and scanned it quickly, clearing his throat.

"Right, well, I know you're not sleeping well. Nightmares and all. Can you tell me about them?"

Avoiding his gaze, Elle drank some of her water and then set the cup back down carefully. "It's like I told you before, I just wake up…screaming."

"Has it gotten worse since Lee?"

Elle ran a hand through her hair and let out a frustrated sigh. "No. I—I don't know. Different maybe. But not better or worse."

"Different?"

"Honestly, I only remember bits and pieces. Impressions. Like when I can feel a hand inside my chest, scooping for blood. I know it's not there, not really. And there's Lee's eyes. I wake up terrified he's watching me. Maybe he is." She took a few gulps of water and turned to look out the window.

"He's dead. They're both dead. They can't hurt you or anyone else anymore."

"I know that. But there's people just like them under every stone we turn over. Every case we take—they're always there." Elle kept her eyes on the window and finished her water. Both of them were quiet for a bit, until Elle suddenly crumpled her empty cup in her hand and expertly tossed it into a tiny trashcan next to the bed.

"Impressive." Reid praised her with a smirk, but then went back to fidgeting with the paper in his hands. "How does it feel being back?"

Elle shook her head. She was hoping she could avoid this question. "I almost didn't come back. But considering when you showed up this morning, you already knew that, didn't you? I'm still debating whether or not I made the right call. I transferred into the BAU more than sure that it was what I wanted. But this job takes everything from you. And it rarely ever gives you any pieces back. And what's worse is I don't know if my team will ever trust me again. I'm not as cold-blooded as they seem to think."

"Cold-blooded? You're not cold-blooded. You're—" He knew what he wanted to tell her, but now definitely wasn't the time. He looked down at the table as he continued. "If Lee died in the way Hotch thinks he did, and I'm not saying he did, but if he did, that's proof enough. It's eating away at you, and even though you know what Lee did, you're haunted by harming him. They don't distrust you because they think you're a heartless murderer. They distrust you because they're afraid you may have actually done something that they've considered from time to time themselves."

Elle put her hands in her lap. "Have you considered it?"

"Ah, well…" Reid took another sip of water and bit his lip. "Yeah. I have. It's a natural psychological response to the things we see every day. It's a valid coping mechanism, and probably one of the most common."

"But nobody actually does it." Elle sighed and got up. She started pacing between the table and the bed, and she caught sight of the clock. "Damn. It's later than I thought. I shouldn't be keeping you up like this."

"I told you you're not getting rid of me. How about you go take a shower, clear your head for a bit. Once you're done, we can keep talking, we can get some sleep, whatever you want. I bet there's some more infomercials on."

Despite the situation, Elle let out a small laugh. "I'm sure there are. I think a shower couldn't hurt. I'll be back in a bit."

Reid watched her disappear into the bathroom, and couldn't tear his eyes away from the door until after he heard the water running. He got up, loosened his tie, and pulled off his shoes. He grabbed the TV remote from the nightstand and sat down on the bed with his back against the wall. He turned the TV on, and as expected, a guy with a beard was trying to sell him a vacuum cleaner.

Half an hour later, Elle opened the bathroom door in a towel, hair dripping down her back and shoulders. Reid was asleep, remote control in his lap, with one lanky arm hanging over the edge of the bed. Elle smiled and grabbed her pajamas from her bag. She changed in the bathroom and did her best to dry her hair with the towel, because she didn't want to wake Reid up by trying to use the hairdryer.

When she came back out, she went over to Reid. She had forgotten she was going to have to wake him anyway. She shook his shoulder lightly. "Reid." He mumbled something incoherent and swatted her away with his hand. She caught him by the arm. "Spencer. Wake up."

He opened his eyes a little. "Elle?"

She grabbed the remote and put it on the nightstand, then pulled Reid's arm until he was forced to get out of the bed. He rubbed his eyes and blinked at her. "I fell asleep, didn't I?"

"Smart kid." She yanked the blankets back and turned to him, reaching for the knot of his tie. "At least take this off."

One she had pulled his tie off, she motioned back to the bed. "Go on, you need sleep if you're going to be at all functional tomorrow."

Reid climbed back into the bed, partially because he was too groggy to argue with her. "So do you."

Elle flipped the light switch off and crawled into the other side of the bed, curling the blankets up under her chin. She was exhausted, but she had two distinct thoughts before she drifted off to sleep. Reid is in bed with me. I wonder if that vacuum comes in any other colors.