Youth, which is forgiven everything, forgives itself nothing. Age, which forgives itself everything, is forgiven nothing
- Man and Superman, 1903, 'Maxims: Stray Sayings'
Butterflies Eight Forgiven Nothing
Sakura typed up her last document of the day and heaved a sigh. The light that had previously been filtering through the windows was at last weakening and she rather thought Li might be asleep, as he didn't seem to be moving much and hadn't spoken for (she checked her watch) the last half hour. Neither had she, but that was beside the point.
He was going to start snoring, she felt quite sure. In order to stop him even entertaining the thought, she threw a well-aimed ball of paper at him. He instantly jolted and exclaimed blearily, "I wasn't asleep! I wasn't asleep!"
Sakura laughed.
"I believe you, Li."
"I can go home in…Ten minutes," she said cheerfully to nobody in particular. Sakura had rather a habit of doing that, talking to nobody, but Syaoran didn't mind. Although she would never think it, he always listened.
"I'll finally be able to change out of this ridiculous outfit," she said, sounding rather content as she stretched her arms above her head, revealing a rather interesting stretch of pale skin to Syaoran as she did so.
'Not now, Li,' he thought and quickly looked away from the attractive brunette. He had acted perverted quite enough for one day.
"So," he said, gaze firmly back on his screen, "did you get all the product research done for Daidouji-san?"
Sakura had told him all about her clothes designer best friend when she told him the whole story behind her 'don't-I-look-like-a-hooker' outfit earlier.
"Yes, and then some," Sakura said with a laugh.
"So what did they all think?" he asked, still refusing to look at her even though she had swung around in her chair to talk to his back.
Sakura lowered her voice to sound like a man, and widened her eyes, letting her mouth fall open.
"Uh, Kinomoto-san, that's uh, quite, uh, I mean, uh…"
Syaoran laughed despite himself.
"That tends to go on for a while and then they either choke or drool. Then they make an excuse and leave, because they are embarrassing themselves. Or they ask me out," Sakura continued.
"Who asked you out?" Syaoran asked, his tone more suspicious than the one he was originally going for. Sakura laughed again.
"Mou, you sound like my onii-chan! Don't worry, none of them did it quite as charmingly as you did that day in the office," Sakura joked.
"I'm glad! I had forgotten about that," Syaoran said as he finally turned his chair to look at her. Sakura was smiling, but when they looked each other in the eye, they stopped talking. They were getting along again. And it was weird.
"Somehow," Sakura said softly, still bravely staring into endless amber with her own emeralds, "it's easier to talk to your back."
"And it's definitely easier to talk to a computer screen. Even though you're a damn sight nicer to look at," Syaoran replied.
Now he was flirting with her. And she had tried to seduce him earlier. Okay, so she had been playing a trick on him, but she couldn't deny that his warm hold on her was nice… And she had a feeling that, if Ueda hadn't come in, she would really have kissed him. Her original plan was to dart away from him at the last minute and say 'got you!' before laughing. But she wasn't sure she would have been able to do that, had Ueda not done it for her, in a way.
In a sudden horrible flash of realisation, it dawned on her that a tiny part of her had wanted to kiss him. And now she was banging her head off her desk, being watched by a rightfully anxious Syaoran.
"Kinomoto, are you quite-" he began, before Sakura cut him off.
"Alright? Yes, of course I am. I do this every day," and then she laughed.
"You… Do?" Syaoran asked tentatively, as if he wasn't quite sure he could possibly have heard her correctly. Sakura was tempted to yell, 'no, of course not, you idiot, don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?'
But instead she answered,
"Yes, I have a… Neurological disorder. It causes me to bang my head off things and walk into things."
"Don't people usually walk into things when they're clumsy?" Syaoran asked with an eyebrow raised, sounding skeptical.
"How can you be so mean to someone who has a neurological disorder?" Sakura asked in a sort of a wailing tone of voice.
"Simple. It's because you don't," Syaoran answered.
"I do!" Sakura protested as she tried to desperately to think of one.
"I have Obsessive Compulsive!" she announced triumphantly a few seconds later.
"Bless you," Syaoran replied, for the words sounded like a sneeze. Sakura made a noise that indicated she was both annoyed and trying desperately not to laugh.
"You're a schizophrenic klutz," Syaoran replied, sounding matter-of-fact.
"I beg your PARDON?" Sakura spluttered incredulously.
"Klutzes, like you, walk into things, and schizophrenics have a tendency to bang their heads on things in order to quieten the voices in their heads," Syaoran said in a matter-of-fact tone.
"How do you know that? I think you are the schizophrenic!" Sakura exclaimed, and giggled in all the fake dramaticness of Syaoran's expression.
"And I see you walk into things all the time!" she exclaimed, with all the triumphant air of someone who had just caught their sworn enemy in the middle of murder.
"I guess we're both schizophrenic klutzes together, then," Syaoran said with a smile. Sakura felt the beginnings of a return smile on her face, but then she frowned.
"At least if you were schizophrenic then it would explain your split personality- nice Li and not so nice Li."
Syaoran shot her a sly grin.
"But I'm always a little bit nice, right?" he asked, obviously teasing her.
Sakura rolled her eyes and just happened to glance at her watch in the process.
"Hey, it's time to-" she began before the lights flickered.
"That was odd," Syaoran commented. Then the lights flickered again, and this time they didn't flicker back on. The room fell into darkness as the computer monitors lost their light and the streetlights in the street outside went out.
"Well," said Syaoran, sounding as unconcerned as someone who was merely commenting upon the weather, "this is just great, isn't it?"
"What will we do? I can't even see you, Li, and you're only a few feet away from me!" Sakura exlaimed, sounding panicked.
"It's okay, just keep calm, we don't need another incident like the elevator. Slide off your chair on to the floor and hold your hand out," Syaoran instructed. Sakura obeyed.
Syaoran got on to the floor as well, and a few minutes later he was waving his own hand about, hoping his hand would collide with Sakura's outstretched one. When it did, he grabbed it and moved closer to her, eventually ending up beside her. Sakura shuffled a little until they were pressed against each other- she seemed afraid.
He could feel her warm, bare leg against his pant-clad one- her skirt must have ridden up. He thought immediately that it was a pity he couldn't see. Then he thought that he was a slimeball. And then he thought that it really couldn't be helped.
"I can't see anything at all," Sakura said in a whisper.
"I know, me neither. It must have been a city-wide power cut- there are no lights in the street outside, either," Syaoran said, sounding thoughtful.
He paused and Sakura said,
"Keep talking, please. I won't be so afraid if there's continuous noise."
"So that's what you think my charming and intelligent conversation is? Continuous noise?" Syaoran teased, pretending to be offended. When Sakura didn't even make any motion to acknowledge that he had spoken, he sighed.
"I can't believe that you're twenty years old and afraid of the dark!"
"Well, you better believe it. Just be glad I haven't asked you if I can sit in your lap," Sakura said.
The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.
"Do you want to?"
"Sit in your LAP? You're kidding, right?" Sakura asked.
He shrugged and tried to act as though he was in his right mind.
"You can, if you want to. If it'll make you feel better."
"Really? You're sure? If you're just playing around, say so now," Sakura said, sounding suspicious.
"No, I'm serious. If it'll make you feel better, you can do it," he replied. Why didn't he say he was kidding? The stupid part of his brain appeared to have taken over, and he was powerless to stop it.
"Well," Sakura said, sounding unsure as she clambered into a comfortable position, "thanks a lot. I really owe you- my father and brother always let me sit in their laps during powercuts."
She laid her head on his chest and sighed contentedly as Syaoran's arms tentatively circled around her waist. Her legs were curled up so they didn't reach beyond the knees of Syoaran's outstrectched legs.
He could feel her breathing against his stomach, but tried not to think about it.
"Thanks, this is really… Comforting," Sakura said slowly, pausing in the middle to yawn. Was that what she thought of their position? Syaoran felt rather differently, but then again Sakura was in an outfit that was certainly… Interesting, to say the least.
"Li, you're not talking," Sakura whispered in objection.
"S-sorry," he stutttered before he took a deep breath to calm down. Perhaps he should talk- at least it might take his mind away from… Other matters.
He began to talk about his family in Hong Kong, simply because it was the first topic that came to his mind. Sakura nodded in all the right places and slid her arms around Syaoran's waist, hugging him tightly.
Until then, Syaoran though that the powercut was a punishment from God for having perverted thoughts about Sakura, but now he realised that the bearded guy up there was trying to make up for it now. He promised he would go to church next Sunday.
