"Harry, we'll be right out here if you need us. Do try to enjoy the toys though," Remus stated to the green-eyed boy who merely nodded, picking up several matchbox cars to play with as Remus closed the door gently so that there was just a crack open to keep watch on the boy wizard.
Immediately following the scene in the entry way, Remus, Harry, and Sirius had made their way back to Remus' quarters inside the defense against the dark arts room. The bedroom - where Harry was playing with toys that Remus transfigured - was spacious and Sirius could see if Remus would want to stay here instead of the new house. Sirius and Remus sat in the sitting room, facing each other in two uncomfortably overstuffed chairs. Sirius watched as Remus brought out his wand, casting a silencing spell so that they could still hear Harry if he called out, but he couldn't hear them. It was a spell that Sirius found himself using more and more often lately, as Harry seemed to have the hearing of a hawk.
"You can't attack Snape for a year's old grudge," lectured Remus. Sirius felt his eyes roll back in to his head, as if he was having a seizure. "I fucking mean it, too." Remus' voice was sharp and cold.
"He's a death eater!" protested Sirius, running a hand through his choppy hair. It had grown several inches since Remus had cut it, but it didn't look bad on him.
Remus stood up, his eyes dark and unforgiving. "And he worked for the Order. If Dumbledore trusts him, then why can't you?"
Sirius rose to his feet, his face growing more and more red. "Because Dumbledore also trusted Pettigrew! He can be brilliant all he wants, but he's no fucking saint. Merlin's beard!"
Remus' face contorted with anger. "You trusted Pettigrew; you suggested him!"
"And I feel awful for that every day!" Sirius' eyes darted to the door that was cracked. Harry was placing army men on top of the matchbox cars, making it look like they were driving them. "I lost his family for him. That is my burden to carry. But to say just trust him because Dumbledore does? I'm not a stupid 20 year old anymore, Remus. It's too coincidental."
"Why would he want them dead? He cared for her, deeply." Remus shot back, his voice full of venom.
"You know as well as I do - he was angry that she chose James and not him."
"You don't know that for sure-"
"Merlin's beard, Remus! He swoops in to save the day when we think Lily's gonna die because he has to? And you can't tell me that wasn't the reason. He conveniently showed up the week before we learned that they needed to go in to hiding. He's a death eater, through and through. He's just as much to blame as Pettigrew!"
Remus' eyes narrowed further. "You of all people should know better, Sirius. Like Dumbledore has always said, it is who we choose to be that matters more than what we're born to be. You might have missed the memo since you were locked in Azkaban for so long, but the world is no longer split in to good people and death eaters. People are more complicated than that. Look at Pettigrew! Merlin himself was a Slytherin."
Sirius felt a rage growing inside of him. "Given the history," he spat at his friend, "I think that I know that you can overcome circumstances that you're born in to."
"Then you should be willing to give him a second chance, of all people." Remus wasn't budging on this topic, it seemed.
"Why do you care so much how I feel towards him?"
"Because," Remus' voice sounded strained and frustrated. "Because, I've been in his shoes. Because I've been the one judged based on my past. I've been the one who was thought to not be trustworthy. I was the one who felt so alone and isolated. What does he have going for him? I was in his shoes until I saw Pettigrew recently. I was alone. I wasn't sure what my purpose was in life. The way he followed Lily around this school when we were students - I don't think he's ever loved since then, if that's what it was. The ways he tried to apologize to her for years. Damnit, Sirius. He's probably alone and scared and how can he be friends, still, with the death eaters he would have known? We're twenty-six years old, for Merlin's sake. This isn't Hogwarts anymore; we're adults. You need to set a better example for Harry."
"Harry's being set a fine -"
"He is not having a fine example set for him when it comes to treating others nicely. Pull your head out of your ass."
Sirius stopped, pausing to consider this. He hadn't thought much how his dislike for Snape might taint Harry's world view. He was in charge of raising this child and doing the best that he could. Perhaps Remus, in all of his Remus-like logic, was right about this; perhaps he should learn to forgive. Not forget - because how could he forget all of that? - but forgive. Maybe he could try to start over with Snape. Not being overly nice to him, but being nice enough that they were able to be in the same room with each other without trying to hex each other.
The other part of Sirius' brain - the less rational, still developing part - disliked this idea. He had known Snape for fifteen years. Fifteen years of Snape being a grade A slum ball. Fifteen years of watching him pine over a red head that his best friend had fallen for. Fifteen years of Snape attempting - and failing - to show him up in every way.
Maybe Remus was right, but it was hard to admit that. Years of rivalry had skewed Sirius' perception of the issue. Combined with the fact that Remus had much longer to mull this over - practically the whole time Sirius was in Azkaban - it seemed unfair that he be held to the same standards of accepting how life was now as other people his age. It wasn't that he didn't want to change; it was simply harder for him to move past twenty without putting up a fight.
"Fine," Sirius conceded.
"Fine, what?" Remus' voice sounded shocked; perhaps he figured that Sirius just wasn't going to respond.
"Fine, I'll attempt to pull my abnormally large and good looking head out of my ass."
"Ah, there's the Padfoot that I know so well," Remus quipped, a smile resting on his lips. If there was a bigger cheerleader for Sirius Black to healthily and sanely re-intigrate into the wizarding world, Remus hadn't met them yet. He wanted what was truly best for his best friend, but he also wanted his friend to face his prejudices and misconceptions head on, too.
Their conversation, although almost over, was interrupted by Remus' name being shrieked from the bedroom. Remus immediately ended their silencing charm as the two men bolted across the room for the cracked door. "We're coming, Harry!" both men bellowed, barging in to the room.
The room was littered with matchbox cars and army men. Thankfully magic was real, or else Remus would be cleaning his room forever. It almost looked like the toys that Remus had conjured for Harry had exploded. The two men scanned the room with their eyes, wands at the ready for any mischief. Harry was perched on the bottom shelf of a book shelf in the room- books spilled all over the floor in front of him. On his lap sat a photo album. Harry looked truly pleased with himself as he looked up at Remus and Sirius, unaware that he had ever scared the two grown men.
"What do you have there?" Sirius asked Harry curiously.
"Pictures! You and Remus and mom and dad!" Harry rambled, lifting the book for Sirius to take. Remus must have brought it from Grimmauld Place. Remus shrugged, but didn't reply. Sirius picked the book up, looking at the photos that he was presented with. Harry stood and lifted his arms up, a motion that Remus understood meant "pick me up!". Remus held Harry close as they peered over Sirius' shoulder at the album.
"Ah! Harry! Here's one of me and you!" Sirius exclaimed, excited. He pulled the whole photo from the album that he was holding, tossing the album on to the bed. In the photo, Sirius was balancing Harry precariously on the flying motorbike. Out of the corner of the frame, you could see a woman's leg and arm moving towards them frantically - Lily.
"See, Har, your mum hated that bike. She didn't want us to fly," Sirius explained, laughing at the memory.
"That's not nice! I want to fly!"
"Me too, buddy," Sirius said, empathetically. "Anyways, me and your dad, we thought it would be funny to put you on the bike and then call her out. I started the bike like I was gonna leave, and oh man, Harry. I've never seen that mum of yours get so mad!"
"Did she yell?" Harry demanded, gripping on to Remus tighter as he leaned forward to get a better look at the photo.
"Oh, boy, did she ever," Sirius acknowledged.
"I don't think that Sirius was ever your mum's favorite," Remus said, his voice cracking with laughter. "He caused a lot of problems for her."
"I want to go on the bike!" Harry demanded, kicking his feet out. Remus held Harry steady, thanking Merlin that the boy had such a small frame, or he wouldn't be able to hold him like this as Harry flailed about.
Sirius set the photo down on top of the closed photo album. Before he could give an answer on the flying motorcycle, Sirius heard the door to the quarters open. "I'll check that out," Sirius told Remus, who set Harry down. Sirius heard Remus ask Harry to stay put as Sirius entered the living area, but ignored it largely.
Snape stood impatiently waiting in the living area, holding a flask. "A bit early to be drinking, isn't it?" Sirius' normally sarcastic voice held notes of laughter this time. He was trying to show Snape his best foot forward, that he could be civil.
"I thought you'd have left by now," Snape said with his usual cold drawl. "I'm surprised that Dumbledore didn't force you to leave. This is for the wolf, so his transformation tomorrow isn't so... primal."
Sirius reached for the flask as he reached Snape, but Snape held it close. "Not a chance I'll give it to you, Black."
Remus appeared at Sirius' side. "I'll take that," he said softly, his light eyes searching Severus' dark ones. "Look, Sirius and I had a talk. I think it'd be easier for all of us to move on if we cooled it down a little." Remus' voice was full of promise and compromise. It was confident, which Sirius realized that Remus had developed more of when he was on his own. Prior to Sirius going to Azkaban, Remus had held confidence, but it was often marred by the exhaustion of the missions. Today, at Hogwarts, it made total sense and made Remus sound like the oldest person he knew.
"I see," Snape stated simply, the draw of his words infuriating Sirius. Keep it in check, Sirius thought, shaking his head.
Remus now held the flask in his hands. "The same instructions that you were already given, Lupin," Snape confirmed the unanswered question.
"I appreciate you making this for me."
"As if I had a choice. Now, if that'll be it-" before Snape could finish his thought, a blur of dark hair and giggles latched itself on to Snape's leg. Harry had come bursting from the bedroom through the two men that he knew, and threw his arms around Snape's leg. All three men looked confused; Snape's confused look also held a look of disgust.
"Can I help you, Potter?" Snape demanded, trying to move his leg so Harry would fall to the ground.
"Look!" Harry exclaimed, thrusting a photo towards Snape's hand that was outstretched only to peel Harry off of his leg. He gingerly took the photo from Harry, who immediately let go of the man that Remus said was okay to trust. The photo held a dancing and singing Lily, located in the living room of the home that she, James, and Harry had shared in Godric's Hollow. Her face was practically illuminated with joy.
Snape looked uncomfortable, and tried to give the photo back to Harry. "That's my mum! Remus said that you were friends!"
"We were," Snape confirmed, waving the photo for Harry to take it. Snape looked utterly uncomfortable in this situation. His hair had fallen into his eyes, and Sirius could easily see him as the sniveling 17 year old that he had seen in school. Snape didn't look much older than 20, even though he was the same age as Remus and Sirius. He had aged well, but perhaps that was because he had always looked so old as a teenager. The war seemed to have been easy on Snape, but Sirius knew that wasn't true either.
"Can you tell me about her?" Harry pleaded, reaching his arms up for Snape to lift him. Snape started at Remus and Sirius dumbfounded.
"I'll be going," Snape responded with a cold snap. Before either of the men could protest, Snape turned on his heel and swiftly exited the room from the door he had come in at, photo still in hand. Harry sat on the floor, looking defeated.
"Why don't my mum's friends like me?" Harry wondered out loud.
"Sometimes," Remus said gently as Sirius picked Harry up, "Adults are hard to understand. I think that Snape would love to talk to you one day about Lily. But today didn't seem like a good day."
Harry nodded, but tears had sprung to his eyes. He desperately longed to know about the people from whom he had come. He desperately wanted to feel as if he felt in. "I just want to go home," he said softly, the tears streaking his cheeks without any other noise. Sirius held Harry close, kissing the top of his head.
"I'm going to do just that, Remus. Have a good... night," Sirius said softly as he made his way towards the door that would take him to an accessible floor network.
"And you," Remus acknowledged as Sirius and Harry left him standing there, holding the flask of WolfsBane.
Merlin's Beard, this is so complicated.
