Chapter 7-

Phil's POV:

I heard Dan come in. I stopped weeping as well as I could as he stopped by my door. The knob slowly started to turn, and then I saw Dan.

I was struck first by the fact that Dan was obviously drunk off his ass. But then I noticed the most important factor in this situation-

Dan's face was absolutely devoid of any emotion.

Dan smiled, but not in his usual shy way, this smile made me scared. I had never been as scared as I was just then, as Dan approached me. He slowly meandered to my bed, not quite sure on his feet, and brought himself down on top of me. He sloppily kissed me, nothing like when we were in the bathroom. I tried desperately to get out from under him, but he was much, much stronger than I was. He suddenly grabbed my hands and yanked them above my head so suddenly and painfully that I yelped loudly.

As he tied my hands to a bedpost I thought desperately

This isn't my Dan, where did my Dan go?

His eyes full of something dark and awful and heart-wrenching, Dan began to undress me. I couldn't move, and I was scared, but I also wanted Dan to ride out whatever this was so he could get back to himself again. And if Dan needed my body to do that, so be it.

But also in the back of my mind I thought of how I wanted my first time to be loving, and kind, and gentle, as Dan usually was with me. I had never even pleasured myself before, and I really wanted someone to touch me reverently, with love shining in their eyes. The look that Dan was giving me now was very inward, as if he was stuck inside himself and was trying to find a way out in me.

As Dan pulled my shirt up over my head so it hung on the bedpost, he froze. He looked at me for a moment in some kind of semi-lucid confusion. He was obviously wondering why he was doing this, as I sat there shaking in fear on the bed sheets, tied up like a rodeo pig. But the suddenly another dark look passed over his face and he fell to his knees and started pulling off my pants.

Over the course of this entire event I was acutely aware of the fact that I was aroused at the thought of Dan taking me over the edge for the first time, so it didn't surprise me much that once he got my boxers down, my erection sprung free.

I was shaking, and fearful as I watched Dan slowly lowered his face to my stone-hard member. Once his baby-lips finally touched me I let out a loud moan at the feeling of myself in his hot mouth. As he sucked me, I began to feel a strange sensation low in my belly. I knew what it was, and a new shot of adrenaline coursed through me, did I really want this? Now?

But just as I was on the brink of a full on panic attack, as well as an orgasm, Dan moved away from me for a second to unzip his pants and pull his already throbbing member through that slit in his jeans. The fact that he took off no clothing made me sad. I wanted to gaze upon his body reverently. He quickly flipped me in the bed so my butt was in the air.

I had no idea what he was doing, as I knew nothing on the matter of male- on-male sex, and this made my breath kick into high gear again. I nearly shrieked in pain when I suddenly felt an intrusion at my entrance.

Had Dan just pushed his finger in me?

I wiggled and squirmed, trying to get away from him. I was not comfortable with this; my eyes were watering from pain. Just as I start to calm down and try to find a logical way out of the situation, Dan sticks not just one more extra finger in me, but two. I let out a full-on scream as tears begin leaking from the corners of my eyes faster and faster until my cheeks are coated with the physical manifestation of my pain.

Right at that moment, though I tried so hard to blame it on the alcohol, a legitimately hated Daniel Howell.