Melu: This chapter is filled with angsty goodness. :D I actually wrote this around 3 am when I felt I just had to add this part. It wasn't originally in the story, but you know. I decided to post this today because I'm in a good mood.
Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better. I thank all of you reviewing also. :D Enjoy the read!
Roy walked aimlessly around the Kitchen, occasionally tidying or picking at a few things. Edward had gone to get ice cream to help himself feel better, but denied Roy's company while claiming, 'he had to be alone'.
What good did ice cream do a person anyways?
Roy sighed, wandering to his room and flopping down on the bed. He was bored. Almost to the point of tears. He sighed, then blinked as he pressed down on Edward's pillow. It was a bit...hard. He reached underneath the pillow, pulling Edward's journal out.
What type of secrets did this book hide? Did it tell anything about the blond's condition? He looked back at the door lazily, before pulling himself up and wandering over to shut and lock the door. He then trailed back over to the bed, opening to the first page.
Dear Journal
Today I met the world's biggest jackass ever. His name is Roy Mustang. I don't think I could ever get along with such a pompous, arrogant snob like him. Alphonse says I should try to get along with him since we have to be partners for some stupid science project. But whatever. If Alphonse thinks I can learn to like him, I have to try.
Roy blanched. He knew he had been quite the jackass to Ed, but he wasn't that bad... He shook his head. The blond got over it, so he wasn't worried. He flipped the page, continuing to read.
Dear Journal
I HATE THE STUPID JACKASS ROY MUSTANG! He makes me sick! Today, I had to answer a question in English...I didn't know the answer. But that jackass stood up and announced in front of the whole class that I had been too busy watching Disney movies to study...I got laughed at. See, this is the reason I don't want friends...You don't know if you can trust them or not...I feel really bad right now...maybe I can fake sick and stay home for a few days if I'm lucky...
Roy sat back. He remembered that day pretty clearly. He had only wanted to earn a few laughs, but now that he thought about it, it was something completely disrespectful to do to the poor guy. It had been his secret, after all. Roy felt guilty tears sting his eyes, but pushed them away. It was over now. He flipped ahead a few pages.
Dear Journal
Maybe I was wrong about Roy...he stood up for me in lunch today when Breda called me a whore...I don't know what he meant, but obviously it was bad, because Roy got pissed and beat him up. I thought he'd be mad at me for kissing him the other day, but he's been nice to me a lot lately. Maybe I could be his friend... Anyway, Al got sick again. I'll have to go to school by myself tomorrow...
Roy rubbed his eyes. Yeah, Breda had called Edward a whore. Even Roy hadn't known why at the time, but now he did. He had stopped speaking to the guy after that. He sighed, flipping the page.
Dear Journal
Today was awful. In gym Jean Havoc and Breda Heymans cornered me in the locker room and beat me up. Roy asked me what happened and I couldn't tell him. I just said I fell down the stairs...I don't think he believed me though. I threw up in fourth period, too. I really wish I could just die sometimes...wouldn't it be nice? A black hole could just open up and take me away from the pain and suffering. Al doesn't know about me being beat up, but he did question the bruise on my cheek. It's a good thing he didn't see my stomach or back...I really hope tomorrow is better.
Roy bit down on his lip. He needed to go to more recent ones. He flipped ahead some ten pages, his eyes scanning over one page.
Dear Journal
Today I feel horrible. I can't stop my habits...I think that Alphonse knows that I tried to―
"Roy, I'm home!" Roy snapped the journal shut and stuffed it back under Edward's pillow, jumping up and running over to the door to unlock it.
"Welcome back!" Roy yelled. He opened the door, clumsily crashing into the blond and sending them both to the floor. Edward gazed at him for a moment, before laughing. Roy huffed and got up, crossing his arms. "What?" He asked. Edward shook his head. "Your face..." He giggled, reaching up to wipe a smear of strawberry ice cream off of Roy's cheek. He brought it to his lips and licked it off, before sliding out from under Roy.
"I got you ice cream." He said, holding the frozen treat out to Roy. The older male examined it, taking it and licking at it experimentally. "Dairy Queen." He muttered, his nose scrunching up. Edward shook his head. "I thought you liked strawberry...couldn't remember though." He yawned. "I already ate mine." He said. Roy blinked.
"Yeah...I was really bored while you were gone so I took a nap." He muttered sheepishly. Edward considered him thoughtfully. "Yeah!" He agreed, seeming to buy the older male's explanation. "Well, I'm going to wash up. I've got ice cream on my neck." Edward then silently made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Funny, Roy hadn't noticed anything on Edward's neck.
Edward sat against the door of the bathroom, his head resting on his knees. He had calmed down a little. He looked up, picking the razor blade up off of the floor and looking at it.
It made his blood run. This blade made the red, life-giving fluid run out of his body. He pressed the blade against his forearm, watching the crimson trail rise to the surface and spill over his wrist. Without this life-giving fluid, there was no life. How could a liquid be the very thing that made his body continue to live?
He was sure the brain had something to do with it too, as it was pretty obvious. But blood...it kept the body so warm. Blood was such a beautiful color, too. He brought the razor away, his eyes glazing over in thought as he looked at the wound.
Roy didn't know he was cutting. He didn't know. Edward was sure of it. He had been doing it even before Alphonse and his mother had died. Only Alphonse knew...he promised not to tell their mom...
Alphonse made his way into the house, dropping his book bag next to the couch. Ed had to be feeling better now. Even if he had been throwing up that morning, Edward usually felt better by the afternoon the same day.
"Ed!" Al made his way back to his bed room, opening the door. His eyes locked with Ed's for a moment, who regarded him with a tense expression.
"Wel-come," Edward paused to cough a bit before continuing, "home." He sat up, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Alphonse laughed at the red pin-points covering the majority of Edward's face. "Throw up again?" He asked.
"Yeah..." Edward mumbled. Alphonse stopped and frowned, moving to sit next to the older boy. "You know, I think this is one of the few times you weren't faking it." He said. Edward shrugged, sneezing. "I guess so."
"Oh, come on, Ed." Alphonse grinned, pulling the blond into a half-hug. Edward smiled weakly. "Hey, Al? Can you get me that glass of water on the dresser?" He asked. Alphonse nodded, moving to get the item.
"So where is mom?" He asked, trailing back over to Ed. "Store." Edward replied, taking the glass and looking at it for a moment. "For what?" Alphonse asked. Edward yawned. "Cough medicine. She won't leave me alone, Al...she keeps coming in asking me if I'm okay and if I need anything. It's getting pretty annoying."
"She cares about you, Ed. You're the one she worries over the most because..." Alphonse trailed off, looking down. Edward blinked, before raising the glass to take a sip. Alphonse looked up, his eyes suddenly narrowing.
"You're arm is bleeding." Before Ed could pull his arm down, Al grabbed it. The glass of water toppled out of Edward's grasp, falling to the floor as Al pulled the blond's sleeve up. Two red, angry gashes met his gaze.
"Ed! Are you...cutting?" He asked, his tone incredulous. Ed pulled his arm away. "I...I...It was an accident...?" Edward knew that any shit he threw at Al, the boy would know he was lying. Al sighed. "Why?" He asked angrily. Edward sighed heavily, tears collecting at the corners of his eyes. Al grabbed his shoulders, shaking him slightly.
"Don't you dare! Why the hell are you doing it?!" He hollered. Edward flinched back a little. "It's nothing!" He screamed back. Alphonse went quiet. "It's school, isn't it?" He asked.
"I wish it was just that. It's...Roy..." The blond mumbled quietly, burying his face into the brunette's shirt. "He's been looking for every damned thing to make fun of me for! Yesterday he told Winry that I liked her, and then I didn't have any idea and denied it when she asked me and then she hit me really hard with her Math book..." Edward mumbled, sniffling loudly.
"I promise I'll stop. Just...let me have it for a few days...It won't become a habit...please don't tell mom..." He said, looking up. His eyes had turned bloodshot. Al faltered.
"I will tell her if you don't stop by Friday...but until then...I'll keep that promise." He said, his tone a bit bitter. Edward sighed in relief, throwing his arms around his brother. "Thanks, Al!" He said, grinning. Al just nodded. "Come with me. We need to get those gashes fixed up."
Edward hadn't stopped by Friday. But even so, Al never did tell their mother. When Edward confronted him about it, Al had said that he had enough shit wrong with him and it would only hurt their mother more than she already was.
Edward felt a sharp stab of guilt pain rush over him. He grabbed the blade again, glaring at it with hopes that it would somehow disintegrate under his look. No such luck. It was his fault that their mother had been hurting. Why, he didn't know.
Ed didn't know why his mother had worried over him so much. She acted as if every day could be his last day of life. She had been guarding his life and seeing that he didn't get hurt. But some days, she did let him walk around and do whatever he wanted.
Edward was confused.
"Come on Roy! You're not being fair! Give it back!" Edward wasn't happy that Roy was using his lack of height against him. In fact, he was infuriated. Roy merely smirked lazily, holding the hairbrush just centimeters out of the blond's grasp.
"It's not my fault you're short. Now, say it." Roy had been trying to get Edward to say please for at least half an hour now. "No! You don't deserve a please!" Edward jumped, his fingertips grazing the handle of the brush. Roy smirked, holding it higher. "Please, Roy Mustang. Give me my hairbrush back and I'll do whatever you want." Roy said. "Say that." Edward pursed his lips.
"...Please?" Roy instantly caved at the eyes, lowering the brush slightly without realizing it. Edward smirked, grabbing it quickly before Roy could pull it away. "Mine!" Edward yelled victoriously. He waved it in Roy's face, then gasped as Roy tackled him onto the couch.
"I swear, you gain five pounds every day. ...Get off." Edward grunted, struggling to get out from under Roy. Roy smirked. "No," He said, "I'm not moving." Edward whined. "Why?" He asked, crossing his arms. Roy melted at the pout that embedded itself on the blond's face. "Be...Because I..." He fumbled with his words for a minute, before smirking once more.
"Because you need to be taught a lesson." As Edward opened his mouth to question this 'lesson', he let out a strained giggle as Roy started tickling his sides. "H-Hey, n-no fair! No, st-stop!" Edward went into a fit of laughter until Roy paused. It went quiet, and Edward cracked an eye open. Roy's gaze was locked on the hallway to the Kitchen, his gaze a bit distracted. "Someone came to visit." He climbed off of Ed, wandering over to the front door and opening it.
"Ms. Hawkeye! What a pleasant surprise..." Roy mumbled. Edward made his way cautiously behind him. Riza's gaze trailed to Edward. "Mr. Elric." She said, her tone placid. There was a hint of surprise in her tone, however. "I came to check on the information supplied at school. It said you were staying with Mr. Mustang...I came to confirm." She said. She hugged her coat to her. Roy frowned.
" Would you like to come in for some coffee or...?" Roy offered. Riza shook her head. "No thank you, Mr. Mustang," She declined politely, "it's late. I should be getting home as it is a weekday. I hope you feel better, Mr. Elric." She then turned and made her way down the sidewalk.
"Um..." Edward coughed. "So..." He scratched the back of his neck, shuffling in place as an uncomfortable silence took over the air. Roy shrugged, going down the hall to his room. Edward followed a moment later. He couldn't help but feel bad that Roy had school faculty coming to his house because of him. He entered the room and shut the door, climbing into bed and settling next to Roy.
"Hey, Roy...?" He asked. Roy blinked. "Yeah?" He replied. "You're not...mad at me, are you?" He asked. Roy sighed. "No, Ed. I'm not. I'm just...a bit frazzled is all. A lot has happened this week. I mean, if I had known that any of this was going to happen, even a little clue, I would have..." Roy trailed off as the blond's light snores reached his ears. He smiled humorlessly.
How did this boy manage to steal his heart so easily? Roy moved closer to the blond, wrapping his arms around the smaller male's waist and resting his chin on top of his head.
Oh well. He'd figure it out tomorrow.
Review please! :D
