WARNING: This chapter contains mature content.
Saving What's Left
By: Liv=x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles
Chapter 8: Uncivilized
Olivia barely managed to pull herself away from Casey. They'd had the procedure done about a month ago, Casey promising she would be careful, but the doctor had said she just had to be careful not to fall or trip, and rest as much as possible, but that wasn't any different than when she'd been pregnant with Sophie. Still though, the doctor had warned them against it.
They were at the park, having a picnic with Sophie, and she'd been trying to get Casey to go on the swings with her, but after several refusals, and finally cross words, Sophie was now crying in Olivia's arms and Casey was sitting with her knees pulled to her chest, looking guilty.
"Casey, I'm sure you'd be fine. It's not fair to Sophie."
"You go."
Olivia stood with Sophie in her arms, helping Casey to her feet. "At least come sit?"
Casey shook her head, aware of the eyes on them from other families in the area. She mumbled that she was going to get a drink and walked away.
Olivia went after her. "Casey... you can't...what's the point of...I know you're scared. But I'll be here. I'll help you."
"I'm going to get a drink, Liv, okay? Go and...play with Sophie." She pulled her cardigan tighter around herself and increased her pace.
Olivia sighed, walking over and sitting her in the child seat, pushing her gently while keeping an eye on Casey. "Hang on!" she told Sophie.
She held on, and was soon smiling, her tears forgotten. "More!"
She pushed her a little higher.
Casey paid for a drink and turned, almost walking straight into a cyclist who swerved, falling from his bike onto the grass. Casey's drink fell to the ground and her hand went immediately to her stomach.
Olivia looked over, watching with concern, but Casey didn't seem to be hurt, only shaken, so she pushed Sophie a little higher.
Casey got several sharp words from the cyclist, but instead of arguing that he should have been watching where he was going like she usually would have, she just gave a meek nod, then looked down at her drink on the ground. She bent to pick it up and wiped several tears from her face as she walked to drop it in the bin.
"Flying!" Sophie exclaimed.
Olivia smiled. "Yeah, you are! Here, I think Mama would like it if we got her a new drink," she said, slowing the swing to a stop and taking her out before walking over to her. "What were you drinking?" she asked, handing Sophie to her, "I'll get you another."
Casey gave a shrug, putting Sophie down as she wriggled in her arms and raced back to Olivia.
Olivia walked up, asking what Casey had previously had. He gave her another and she paid, as well as getting Sophie a juice, and walking back over to Casey. "Here."
She took it, mumbling her thanks.
Sophie tugged on Olivia's pants and whispered loudly. "Mummy needs hug."
Olivia nodded. Pulling Casey to her, she felt her tremble, stroking her hair, she kissed her cheek. "Maybe we should go."
Sophie hugged one of each of their legs as Casey shook her head, turning to hide her face in Olivia's neck.
"Case... We don't have to stay. Is there something you want to do?"
After a few moments of silence, Casey pulled away and took a deep, steadying breath before smiling down at Sophie. "How about we go and feed the ducks?"
Olivia smiled. "Sounds great to me."
As they walked, Casey held tightly to Olivia's hand, letting Sophie ran off a little way ahead of them.
Olivia stopped her a few paces behind. "Casey, you can't avoid your life to make sure it's going to be okay. Being scared makes sense, but I'll have to go to work and Sophie will need you. I need you."
"…Can't we talk about this another time?" Casey saw another bike coming and stepped closer to Olivia.
Olivia nodded, going to the side and pulling her close. "Yes, but I'll be here no matter what, okay?"
Casey nodded, attempting a smile. "I know."
She kissed her cheek. "Maybe it'll work. You won't be under as much stress."
She knew instantly by the change in Casey's face that she'd said the wrong thing. Casey stiffened and stepped away, almost colliding with another cyclist. "Maybe? Thanks, Liv." She turned and walked after Sophie.
Sighing, she walked after her. "I said that because we don't know. But I'll do everything possible. Look, I'm sorry! I messed up."
"Sure, whatever." She picked up Sophie and handed her the bag of bread they'd brought, taking her closer to the water and holding her up to stand on the fence.
Olivia stood next to them, taking a few slices, tearing it up and tossing it to the ducks. When she had no more, she walked over and rested against a tree, watching intently.
Sophie glanced back to make sure she was still around, waving to her and then popping a piece of the bread in her mouth, giving a cheeky grin.
Olivia smiled, waving back at her, but sensed Casey didn't want to be near her right now so she stayed where she was.
A woman with several children moved to stop next to Casey, chatting to her as she fed her baby and her other children fed the ducks with Sophie.
Olivia walked up, standing beside her. "Hello."
She turned to give Olivia a half smile before turning back to Casey, assuming Olivia was not a mother and therefore not worthy of her conversation. "Anyway, my Charlie just does not stop eating! He's up all night. First week, he was fine, but now my husband has to sleep in the spare room or he'd never get to work."
Olivia smiled. "Sophie was like that for a while too. It's a phase."
She turned once more to look at Olivia, giving her a tight smile. "And where is 'Sophie'?" She leant towards Casey, mumbling under her breath. "Get all sorts wanting to talk about kids. I say 'if you don't see a kid with them, they haven't got one.' "
Olivia wrapped her arm around Casey, resting it on her belly, giving the woman a tight smile as well. "Actually...Sophie's our daughter."
She blushed, looking at Sophie who, out of bread, having eaten most of it herself, rested against Casey and reached a hand back to touch Olivia's cheek gently, watching her curiously. "Well…well...that's...children should have a mother and a father."
Olivia took a breath, used to this conversation. "As long as the child is loved and cared for, what problem is there?" she asked, her arm tightening around Casey.
To her surprise Casey, who usually was the calm one in these situations, instead stiffened in her arms and removed herself and Sophie from her grip. "We're going home."
The woman looked smug.
Olivia stayed where she was, just as smug. "Do you enjoy your ignorance?" she asked, gesturing for Sophie to go to Casey. "You're free to have your own opinions, but please don't intimidate my wife," she said, standing and walking away.
Casey didn't speak to her, or even look in her direction as they walked home.
When they got there, she put Sophie down for a nap then sat on the couch, hugging her knees once more.
Olivia sat in the chair next to her. "I said I was sorry. What else is there to say?"
"Maybe she's right."
"She's not. As long as the kids are loved and cared for, nothing is wrong. It's just someone's perception."
"Maybe that's why it happened. Maybe I'm with the wrong person. Maybe its punishment..."
Olivia shook her head, moving to sit next to her. "It's not why it happened! I stressed you out! I made it happen! Now I'm back and things are going better and..." she sighed. "Fine! Do this on your own! Forget about me! But I'll never forget about... damn it, Casey! I'm making an actual effort to repair things and now you-you don't think I'm worth it?"
Tears started to flow down her pale cheeks. "People said something bad would happen. My dad said...and now even you said maybe..."
Olivia grabbed her hands. "No, baby, no! I...I was, I didn't mean. It's risky. That's what I meant. But I love you and I'm in this with you." She sighed again. "I was wrong to say that. I want you with me! I want... I love you!" she leaned in, kissing her gently, praying Casey didn't pull away.
Casey gave a soft sob, but didn't pull away, instead moving closer and burying her face in Olivia's shirt.
Olivia wrapped her arms around her, kissing her head. "It's terrifying and...I don't want to lose you. Please? I love you."
Casey shook her head, nestling further into Olivia.
"Shhh. Everyone has their own opinions. We'll never all agree, but I'm trying. Can't you see that? I need you with me. I thought I...you're important to me, you and Sophie. I can't bear it if you leave again. Please promise me you won't? I'll do anything. I just love you so much."
Casey shook her head again, trying to tell Olivia she wasn't going to, trying to apologize, but she couldn't get any words out, a lump in her throat. Instead her hands tightened their grip on her shirt.
Olivia kissed he head again. "It's going to be okay. You, me, Sophie and this baby, we'll be fine. We'll live. We'll love. Just like we always have."
Casey nodded, finally managing to get words out in a squeaking voice, thick with emotion. "I couldn't go again. Ever. You've proved to me...everything you needed to. I'm just scared."
Olivia nodded, rubbing her back. "We'll be fine. I'm scared too."
They sat there a long time, finding silent comfort in each other, Casey planting the occasional gentle kiss to Olivia's neck. When they began to hear Sophie moving, Casey finally lifted her head, giving a relaxed smile. "I love you, Olivia Benson."
Olivia smiled too. "I love you too, Casey Novak."
"Casey Benson." Casey smiled, rubbing her nose against Olivia's gently.
Olivia smiled again, moving to lay her back against the couch. "My Casey Benson," she rested her head against her stomach. "Love you..." she moved up to kiss her neck."Very, very much," she purred into her neck.
"Enough to go out and get Indian for dinner?" Casey's eyes sparkled. She hated Indian food usually, but always seemed to crave the spice when she was pregnant.
She pursed her lips. "Maybe...later can..."
"But I kinda have a craving for it now? Like...right now?" her hands slid onto Olivia's stomach, hoping she'd get the hint that she was feeling different, just like she had even before they'd found out about Sophie.
Olivia smiled. "Alright. I'll go. But I just...can't stop thinking..." she stood up. "I should go get that now..."
"The doctor did say nothing for at least a month, Liv. You might just have to remind yourself how amazing your own hands are." She stood up, moving next to her to whisper in her ear. "Get a test."
She nodded, wrapping her arms around her and kissing her. "Of course, so does that mean you won't help me either? I don't mind. I'd just like to know."
"I'll watch." She left that hanging in the air as she left the room.
Olivia grinned widely as she walked out.
That evening, Sophie seemed a lot happier as the atmosphere was more relaxed. Casey ate everything Olivia brought for her, including swiping some from Olivia's plate when she wasn't paying attention.
"Hey!" Olivia said with a fake pout. "That was mine!"
Casey returned the pout, then moved to sit on Olivia's knee, kissing her and distracting her with loving words as she moved more to her plate, making Sophie giggle.
Olivia sighed. "Food stealer!" she said playfully, nuzzling her neck.
Casey filled the fork and moved it to Olivia's mouth, kissing some sauce from her lips. "There. See, that's sharing. Now some for me." She filled the fork with as much as she could, opening her mouth.
Olivia took the fork, attempting to eat, but Casey glared at her. "Fine," she popped it into her mouth. "Better?"
She nodded.
Sophie clapped. "Sophie too!"
Olivia cut a piece of meat into four pieces and fed her. "Good?"
About 10 minutes later, Casey slipped something into Olivia's hand before sitting on her knee again, giving Sophie something else and laughing at her strained expression.
Olivia looked at her confused.
Casey lowered her eyes to Olivia's hand pointedly before returning to feeding Sophie. In her hand, she'd placed a pregnancy test. A positive one.
Olivia smiled, pulling Casey into her lap, kissing her gently, laughing. "I love you."
Casey showered as Olivia made sure the house was secure. a towel around her, she walked into the bedroom.
Olivia walked in moments later, closing the door behind her. "Hey Beautiful."
Casey dropped the towel as she reached for a long t-shirt. "Looking in the mirror again?"
"Yeah, and I'm thinking... I so wish I could jump you right now, but...I can't."
She pulled the t-shirt on and turned to her, linking her fingers with Olivia's and bringing them up to her lips. "But you have the most amazing hands in the world. You should use them."
"It's not the same, Case. It'll...take so much longer."
Casey dropped a gentle kiss to her lips. "I could…dance for you?"
Olivia sat on the bed, after discarding her clothes. "Proceed."
She turned on some music, dancing slowly, letting her hands occasionally lift up her top a little to give a hint of what was underneath, her eyes closing.
She began to fidget. "Look at me."
Her eyes opened a little, looking at Olivia from under hooded lids, her hands pulling up her top a little more to flash the fact she wasn't wearing underwear.
She swallowed hard, moaning a bit, a gentle fire igniting in her groin.
Casey continued to dance, humming softly to the music.
"So...beautiful," she sighed. "More. I need you."
Casey slid the top over her head, pretending to get tangled.
She smiled wider, her fingers, unconsciously, rolled her nipples a bit as a moan escaped. "..Casey..."
Casey's hand slid up to touch her own breast, the shirt falling to the floor as she moaned gently.
She moaned, her hands gripping her breasts as she felt the fire intensify.
Casey's hand slid slowly down her stomach, stopping between her legs, breathing Olivia's name.
She bit her lip, jumping as she watched her, her own hands sliding to the same spot. "Yes...Casey?"
Casey repeated her name louder, her legs trembling, her eyes closing again.
Her eyes still on her, Olivia noticed her tremble. "Careful, come sit."
Casey shook her head, biting her lip, before saying quietly, "Did I mention today is exactly one month and one day since our appointment?" Her eyes flickered open.
She shook her head. "B-but y-y-you said n-no..."
A smile crept onto Casey's face. "Did I? I thought I just said dinner first."
"You said we couldn't...the doctor...a month..." she moaned, taking in Casey's full sight.
"It's been a month and a day, but if you don't want to..." Her hands continued to move, a soft moan escaping once more.
Olivia moved quickly to stand behind her, backing against the wall and kissing her neck. "Yes...please..."
Casey's hand moved behind Olivia's head, turning her head to moan into her ear as Olivia's hand replaced hers, her hips moving and making her body rub against Olivia.
Olivia moaned, her hand rubbing between Casey's legs slowly. "..Casey..." she moaned. Her breath hitched as her nerve bundle made protruded from her wetness from Casey moving against her. "Fu...ck..."
Casey continued to move, getting louder, releasing all the tension of the past month.
Olivia kissed her lips, hard, entering her fingers up into Casey, moving steadily.
Casey slid a hand between them, increasing the pressure on Olivia as her own legs gave out and Olivia held her up.
Olivia pulled her fingers out, turning Casey around, before she sucked on her fingers before holding her up. "Casey..."
Casey's eyes were level with hers for only a moment before she sunk to her knees in front of Olivia, kissing away the moisture on Olivia's thighs.
Olivia moaned widening her stance, placing her hands on her shoulders. "..Please?"
Casey looked up at her for a moment, before moving forward...
Author's Note: So, now what do you think will happen?
Review Thanks to: Bkwrmchar, Kikilia14 & SoLetsPlayDoctorBabe
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Liv-x-Lex4Ever & E. Scribbles
