Shopping
Thor blinked at the stack of noodles in front of him. Why on Asguard did humans need 'wagon wheels' (They looked too flimsy to hold up any sort of wagon) and 'bowties'?
Steve looked almost as bewildered as the god felt. "Uh, take a box of each?" He proposed, turning to Thor.
Thor nodded, happy that someone else had made the choice. If it had been up to him, he would have closed his eyes and grabbed random boxes, dumping them all in the cart without looking to see if he even had noodles and not pancake mix.
Steve crouched down, resting his weight on his heels as he examined the lasagna and spaghetti on the bottom self. He took the cheapest brands, piling his arms high with them before dropping them into the cart alongside their other purchases.
"Steve, why have we need of so many boxes of noodles?" Thor asked, pushing his half-full cart down the aisle as Steve consulted his grocery list, checking items off and scribbling on it. He was pushing another partially filled cart.
"We don't really." Steve shrugged. "But noodles are fast to prepare, filling, and you can put all kinds of stuff on them."
"Like meat and sauce." Thor suggested. He had taken quite a liking to Steve's cooking, but his favorite dishes involved ground beef and tomatoes.
"Exactly." Steve nodded. "You like stuffed shells, right?"
Thor frowned.
"Oh. It's sort of a fancy lasagna that's stuffed in noodle pockets. But it has more cheese." Steve paused to examine a box of cake mix. "I never got why people buy this stuff." He muttered. "It's basically flour, baking powder and sugar substitute."
Thor shrugged, lost in Steve's terms. "Perhaps it saves time?" He suggested, picking up his own box of 'Funfetti'. He wondered briefly what made it more fun than a different cake. Did humans really place so much value on dots of color in a cake?
Steve shrugged and chucked a box of chocolate cake mix into the cart. "Don't know. I'll make a cake out of this stuff and we'll see if there's any difference."
Thor replaced his box of cake mix and followed Steve as he navigated his way into the drink selection.
Steve pulled to a stop in front of the display. "Tony always gets the most expense stuff there is." He reminded Thor. "So grab whatever looks good and make sure it costs a lot."
Thor nodded, and began checking prices before gathering beverages into his arms. Pepper had seemed to enjoy Ginger Ale, so he took that. Root beer was his favorite, and Steve like coca-cola. Soon Thor had at least one of everyone's favorites in the cart.
Steve nodded. "Great. We still need," he looked down at his list and suppressed a groan. "A lot of stuff. Come on, we can get the cheese, bread and butter all in one stop."
Thor nodded, dropping a last bottle of Mountain Dew into his cart before hurrying off after his team leader.
"Natasha and Clint want to meet back over at that register." Steve nodded to register ten, where a frazzled looking employee was hurriedly scanning items and passing them to her assistant, who bagged them, looking just as tired.
The team had gone out grocery shopping. The six members were divided into three teams, each with their own task, which had been selected by Steve. He had been afraid to let Tony anywhere near food, so he had sent him and Bruce to gather cleaning supplies, ignoring the protests that "I have people who come clean my house! I don't need to."
Clint and Natasha had volunteered to get paper products and then to go supervise the scientists, who would no doubt be examining each product in an effort to find which ones would get their job done the fastest and best.
So that left Steve and Thor with the actual grocery shopping. Steve had made a list for everyone before they had left, but he kept wandering off it. He cringed to think of how the others were doing if he was buying unaccounted for peanut butter and mayonnaise. Tony was probably getting window cleaner (which was not on the list), and Clint had most likely decided that no matter what Steve said, it was a good idea to egg Tony on (not that protesting would do Steve a whole lot of good.).
Thor was just as lost in the world of shopping as Steve was. When Steve was a kid, there weren't fifty different brands of bread. There was the stuff his mother made and nothing else. Thor was used to being handed food, but they both made a valiant effort at their mission. They were getting better. Steve had only gagged at two prices so far, and Thor had only blinked in complete confusion once. It was a huge improvement over the last time.
Now, Steve found himself facing a literal wall of butter, shortening and margarine. Thor stood beside him, both of them surveying the choices in front of them. Thor looked at Steve. Steve looked at Thor. Then they both shrugged and began picking butter at random, dropping several boxes into their respective carts.
"Cheese: Swiss, mozzarella, extra sharp cheddar, peppery jack, and Munster." Steve read off his list. "You want to get that and I'll get the yogurt?"
Thor nodded, the names of the various cheeses firmly engraved in his mind. He pushed his cart over to the selection. Suddenly, it looked much easier. Carefully, he read the name printed on each wrapper, dropping three of each kind in his cart. It was always better to be safe than sorry when it came to meals. The last time it had been Bruce's turn to cook, they had only had half the peppers he needed for his stir-fry. Needless to say, the meal wasn't as good as Bruce's cooking usually was.
Steve returned, and dropped his own armful of yogurt cups into the cart. Strawberry- Vanilla, Passion Fruit, Cherry- Orange and Peach Adore clattered and fell into the crevices between items.
"Okay." He glanced over at Thor, who was busy rearranging his cart. He had learned his lesson after filling it too much one time and a three liter bottle of Dr. Pepper had fallen out, rolled around, banging off of stuff until the lid somehow came off. It had not been pretty.
"All we need now is milk, chicken, olives and," Steve squinted at his list, "dried apples."
Thor looked up. "Did you forget to list breakfast foods?" He asked. They usually ended up with oatmeal, pop tarts (which he was not obsessed with, Man of Iron. He liked the berry ones, and he liked them before bed. It was of no consequence to anyone else.), cocoa puffs and frozen waffles.
"Yeah, that too." Steve nodded, scribbling on a new piece of paper from his miniature notebook. "Here." He ripped the page out and handed it to Thor. "You know what to get."
Thor nodded (he was beginning to feel like one of those little dolls with the moving heads that Darcy was so fond of), and took the list from the super soldier.
"Shall we regroup at aisle ten?" He asked.
"Yeah. I'll get the others." Steve nodded. "Just… don't get lost." This particular grocery store was huge. There were very probably over fifty aisles, and they weren't exactly arranged in any way that actually made sense to either of them.
"The same sentiment to you." Thor grinned, already wheeling his cart towards a random aisle, which hopefully held the breakfast items they were in need of.
Steve laughed.
~Steve Rogers is Captain America!~
Steve wasn't laughing any more. Instead, he was trying to cram another whole chicken into his cart without breaking or dropping anything. He wasn't getting very far. Sighing, he carefully balanced the fowl on top of the stack of olives and apples.
All he had left to do was assemble his team for check-out. He was pretty sure that was going to be the hardest part.
After pushing his cart through seventeen aisles, he finally found Tony, Natasha, Bruce and Clint. They were not looking at cleaner. Clint was giggling, reading a greeting card; Tony was heaping said greeting cards into his cart, and Natasha was sucking on a butterscotch disk from an open bag that Steve knew she had not brought along with her. Bruce was playing with his tablet (Steve didn't know how he managed to take it everywhere), completely ignoring the scene in front of him. Steve couldn't blame him.
"Hey, guys, you done? Thor's waiting for us at the check-out." Steve sighed, knowing that scolding them would only get him eye rolls and 'Yes, Mom's.
'Yeah, sure. Look at this cheesy stuff." Tony thrust a card a Steve. "You've got your own birthday card for middle-aged women."
Steve choked at the picture. "I've never stood like that." His 'picture' showed Captain America standing upright, shield held in front of him, and a huge smile plastered across his face. What made it bad was that Steve refused to do publicity. He would go to press conferences, yes, (he didn't need Tony to make snarky comments the whole time, or Natasha glaring at everyone saying 'That's classified. Stop asking before I pull out your spleen.') and he went to the charity balls that Pepper invited him to with a smile. But birthday cards? Never.
"I know. It's an actor." Tony nodded. "But you don't get any money for this at all. He does." Tony pointed to the not-Steve on the card.
"I don't care." Steve shrugged. "Come on, let's get to the check-out."
Tony frowned, but tossed the card on top of the pile he already had in his cart, following Steve.
Steve glanced behind him and felt a little like a mother duck, with the single file of Avengers following him.
He shook off the thought, intent on getting to the cash register without dropping anything any of the three carts they were pushing.
He managed to lead the team successfully to the register, without dropping the perilously rocking chicken sitting on top of his supplies. Thor was already waiting, last in line.
"Hey, find everything?" Steve asked, pulling up beside him.
"Yes." Thor nodded. "Including the granola bars that Lady Pepper is so fond of."
"Great job." Tony patted his arm and began rummaging through his wallet. "Do they accept Visa? Or American Gold?" He asked Steve.
Steve shrugged. "Don't know."
"Both." Bruce tucked away his tablet and ran a hand through his hair. "Heck, this is New York. I'd bet they'd take marijuana as money."
"They have." Clint said seriously. "Fury had a team of agents crack down on a kids' clothing store for it about two years ago."
"That is sad." Steve frowned.
"You know what's sad?" Tony looked up at them. "Unpack the carts! Chop, chop. My experiment isn't going to wait forever."
Steve and Thor obligingly began emptying their carts, stacking the items carefully on the register counter. The girl at the cash register barely looked at them as she shuffled coffee creamer, cheese and cake mix down the line. Then she glanced at them and her mouth dropped open.
Steve looked behind him. He cringed, thinking about what a whack-job set they must look like, with five grown men and one women, along with four carts literally overflowing with goods.
"Oh my gosh, you're Captain America! And you're Thor!" She gasped, staring at them, her hands still absently sliding items across the scanner.
Oh, shoot. Steve inwardly cringed, already taping his best 'all-American-Wholesome-Grain' smile(that's what Tony called it) smile on his face. Beside him, Thor shuffled his feet, but he also smiled his widest, most winning grin at the poor woman.
"Yes, ma'am." Steve nodded, trying to calculate the amount of time he would be forced to sign autographs, how long it would take the entire team to get to the cars, load them and speed home. He believed in obeying traffic laws, yes, but when women were running after him with pens and vast expanses of skin for him to sign, he believed he had his rights.
"That's wonderful!" She beamed, no longer looking so tired, although her hands were still subconiously moving items down the assembly line. "My nephew is like your biggest fan. He loves the whole lighting and shield idea." Steve was still transfixed by her hands (how long had she had this job?), but he managed to nod in time.
"I have to say," She smiled widely at the whole team, "you guys were short-changed. I mean, you save an entire city and Washington tries to make you pay for all the damage."
"I like her." Tony grinned. The cashier (Her tag read 'Marcy') blushed and grinned at him.
"And you're Iron Man. You would not believe how much my sister raves about you. If these two are Toby's favorites," she nodded at Thor and Steve, "you're her idol."
Tony's chest puffed out just a bit, and Clint cut in before he could start bragging. "You know all of us?"
"Yeah." She nodded. "Look, can I get autographs? I know you guys are probably asked this every day, but my family will kill me if I told them I met you and I didn't get them anything."
Steve glanced at his team. None of them looked openly hostile to it. Tony nodded at him. "Sure." Steve smiled.
"Great! Here." She rummaged in her cash register, pulling out some scrap paper. She dug around some more, then produced a pen, which she handed to Steve.
Steve scrawled his name across it, the same way he had effortlessly done while he performed as propaganda. It made him smile slightly as he passed the paper and pen to Thor, who handled them with the utmost delicacy, as if the pen might snap with the smallest amount of pressure. Clint reached for it next, jabbing his name down with speed and precision, before passing them to Natasha, who's signature was loopy and elegant. Bruce signed with his usual chicken scratch.
"Save the best for last, eh?" Tony grinned, easily signing the paper and handing it back to the cashier with a flourish.
"Thanks." She smiled, folding the paper and tucking it into her apron pocket.
"No, thank you." Steve smiled. Somehow, somewhere, people had appreciated what they did in New York. After all the hate mail and blame, it was nice to hear.
"No, I'm pretty sure I was thanking you. I was trapped in here when the aliens attacked. If not for you, I would be dead." She smiled widely, ignoring the accumulating line behind the heroes. "It's nice to realize there are still heroes."
~Steve Rogers is Captain America!~
This kinda changed from Steve-central, I think. But I recently re-watched the movie, and paid close attention to the end, when everyone's trying to figure out what to do. I saw all the blame, and, well. The Avengers need to meet fans who aren't just fans because they look good. So that was how Marcy was introduced. She will not come back to be coupled with Steve. I'm waiting for the last Captain America to find out if he finds a new love. Maybe Sharon, eh?
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Girlwithashield: Okay, so first and foremost, thank you for your reviews! They meant a lot to me! Second, thank you for laughing at my characters. It was my aim, and I'm glad it worked.
'Til next time!
-The Irish Lass
