Act VIII

All Falls Down

Squall walked away from the infirmary, placing both hands interlocked behind his head. He sighed heavily as he concentrated only on placing one foot in front of the other and getting to his dorm. He didn't want to think about anything, especially how much of a screw up he was. He'd talked Rinoa into going on that mission and for what? His own stupid pride. He didn't just want to turn in his resignation and leave; he wanted to give it everything he had one last time so that he could feel like, just one more time, that he actually had a place in this world. So he could do what he had grown up learning how to do just one more time. Just one more time… He'd like to hear Rinoa laugh. He was mentally thrown back to the time when Rinoa had been in her coma after Ultimecia had possessed her. He'd wanted to hear her laugh then too. After hours upon hours of talking to Rinoa, he had finally accepted the fact that there was nothing he could've done about that incident. He couldn't stop it, it was out of his control.

But dammit, he'd had complete control over this. He let this happen. Now, no one knew if she was going to make it or not and it was all his fault. All his fault.

It felt like someone had taken hold of his insides and were running them through a shredder. The realization still sucked the breath from his lungs, took the sight from his eyes, made him so dizzy and sick with guilt that he had to put his back to the wall and stop for a moment. His head spun and he felt the pain gather at the back of his closed eyelids again. Dammit, he'd cried more this week than he ever had in his entire life. He didn't think he could cry anymore.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in the guilt, run with it were no one else would ever get hurt because of him, back somewhere were he was alone. But he knew Rinoa needed him and he'd be dammed if he let her down again. He took another deep breath and slowly opened his eyes, looking around to make sure no one had seen his episode. It was late and there wasn't anyone around so he continued to his dorm, wanting only a cold shower then to go back to her side. It was the only place he wanted to be, not that he deserved to be there. He slipped the key into the slot and entered his room, throwing his jacket onto the bed. He didn't turn on any lights, even as he entered the bathroom and turned on the water for his shower. He undressed and let the cold water hit him like a hammer to the chest.

Once he finished, he got out and put on a pair of black sweatpants, bearing the Garden emblem, over his boxers along with a white undershirt. He walked out of the bathroom and his gaze fell onto his bed. In his mind's eye he could see the two of them that morning that seemed to be an eternity in the past, talking. He could see Rinoa laughing and admiring the ring he had given her the night before, the one that he had taken a good long time in looking for and a good long time in working up the nerve to give to her. He missed her voice, he missed her smile, and he missed her eyes, so full of life and love… For him. He felt the tears come again but this time, he didn't fight them. He let them come and fall silently down his cheeks as he watched the silent movie in his head. To think he'd been so happy just over a week ago and now he was at the lowest point he had ever been. He walked towards the door and away from the image. He walked heavily back towards the infirmary, not wanting his mind to wander but letting it all the same. When Rinoa got better, they'd do what she wanted. If she wanted to stay, he'd find a way to stay. They'd do it her way. She wanted a big ceremony, he'd give it to her. If she still wanted a ceremony at all. It wasn't a matter of if she got better but a matter of if she still loved him when she did. He wouldn't blame her one bit if she kicked him to the curb faster than he could blink, couldn't exactly say that he didn't want her to. It would be better than living his whole life and knowing that she had been so severely hurt because of him. Every time he would look at her, he would only see the scar that was bound to be there, small and unobtrusive but there all the same. She had been shot. Hurt, even died for a few fleeting moments, all because of him. He found himself stopped at the beginning of the ramp towards the infirmary and suddenly, the veil of guilt and dread opened and poured down on him. Every emotion hit him harder than ever and he found himself rooted to his current spot. He couldn't find the strength to walk those last few steps into the infirmary but wanting to more than anything else in the world. With heavy, forced steps he walked towards the infirmary.

Scene Change

Squall laid a heavy hand on the doorknob and gave it a slow turn. He could still see Irvine's figure in the darkened room, bent over Rinoa. He straightened up quickly and seemed to be wiping his eyes. Squall opened the door completely and entered.

"Your uh…" Irvine cleared his throat, trying to hide the fact that he had indeed been crying, "Your thirty minutes aren't up yet."

Not only had Squall managed to hurt the woman he loved more than life but the people closest to him too. Irvine, Selphie, Quistis, Zell and even Seifer, they were all as upset as the other but none as much so as him. Even Laguna had come down earlier in the week to see her. Her own father, however, had not found the time to come and see his only daughter.

"I know. I'm sorry, I just can't stay away from her. It's an attraction, a magnetic pull. I'm supposed to be by her side, whether she's awake to acknowledge it or not," the words came out barely above a whisper but Irvine heard them clearly in the quiet room, pierced only by the constant beeping of the monitor. "I'm sorry, Irvine. I'm sorry for everything. This is all my fault." He walked over to the chair opposite of him and covered Rinoa's hand with his own. "I might as well take this time to see her because when she gets better, she'll probably never want to speak to me again." He fought hard to keep his voice from breaking on that last part but stuck his chin out defiantly just like he'd seen her do so many times.

Irvine leaned back in his chair with his head tilted back, resting against the top of the back of the chair. "A lot of people don't realize this, Squall, but I'm a firm believer that there are no such things as coincidences. Everything happens for one reason or another and somewhere down the line, it all makes sense. Everyone and everything on this big ball of dirt and water are connected, you just have to really zoom out to see it. This is happening for a reason, I just know it. I don't know why and I don't know when we'll know why, but one day we will. And everything will make better sense because of it."

Squall looked down at the ring on Rinoa's hand. Irvine was right, he had to be. Everything that had happened in his life had been part of some lesson and when he looked back on it now, it all made sense. Why should this be any different?

The two jumped at the sound of the door opening. Dr. Kadowaki appeared in the doorway in a robe and slippers. She nodded to both of them, "Still awake, huh boys?" Squall and Irvine nodded together as Squall grabbed Rinoa's hand a little tighter as if he was afraid the good doctor would take her away from him.

She walked toward the bed and felt Rinoa's pulse just above where Squall's hand was. She checked her watch and remained silent for a moment, making sure Rinoa's pulse was regular then looked over to the machine that broke the silence in the room every few seconds.

"Everything seems to be fine. Her pulse and heart rate are normal, breathing is regular… I just don't understand why she isn't waking up. She lost a lot of blood but…" Dr. Kadowaki trailed off, lost in her own thoughts. After a moment, something seemed to come to her and she walked over to a tray that held some medical utensils. She picked up a syringe that was connected to a small test tube. Dr. Kadowaki pressed the needle to Rinoa's skin and pushed it down into her artery, a rush of blood flooded into the test tube and took only seconds for it to fill. Dr. Kadowaki twisted the tube off of the end of the syringe and removed the needle, studying the blood in it's container. "I'm going to run some tests. I have an idea." With that, she turned and walked into the room adjacent from the ward where Rinoa was and turned on a light, getting right to work. Squall looked across to where Irvine was sitting only to discover that he was now asleep. He had leaned against the wall and was now out cold. Squall placed his head on the bed next to Rinoa's hand and before he knew what was happening, he himself had fallen asleep too.

...the next morning...

"…how are we going to…should we call?...he wouldn't…she wouldn't…Just wait," the words were hazy at first. Broken and undecipherable. Squall picked up his head and looked around, seeing only the blurry outlines of two people standing a few feet away. He rubbed his eyes with one hand and checked to make sure that Rinoa's was still there underneath his. Assured she was still there, Squall looked back at the two figures to realize that it was Seifer and Dr. Kadowaki. Irvine must have left the infirmary when Sefier had showed up at some point in the morning. Thunder rumbled outside and rain pinged against the window pane. It sudenly became obvious to Squall that they had been talking about Rinoa. "What's going on?"

Dr. Kadowaki looked at Seifer as Seifer looked at her. The doctor nodded and exited the room, leaving Squall and his former worst enemy and newest friend, alone. Seifer scrubbed the stubble on his chin with his hand, avoiding Squall's eyes. Squall looked over at Rinoa and held his breath for a moment until the machine beeped again, assuring him that Rinoa was still there.

"Squall, um… There's something you should know," Seifer said cautiously. Squall took note that Seifer was out of arms reach.

"What's wrong with her? Don't tell she's not going to make it. I don't believe that shit. She's going to be okay, dammit whether I'm the only one who believes it or not," Squall spat viciously. He stroked Rinoa's hand as thunder rumbled again outside.

Seifer leaned against the wall and sighed heavily, "Well, it's hard to say Squall. I just…" He let out a hard breath and rubbed his temples.

Squall sat there and stared at him, wondering what in the hell it could be that was so hard to tell him. His fiancee had been shot because of him, she was now in coma that no one but him was sure she'd wake up from, what the hell could be…

Oh fuck. Suddenly, Squall knew. Seifer's hesitation suddenly became crystal clear. "You've got to be shitting me."

Seifer had seen the realization in his eyes and could only shake his head. "Dr. Kadowaki was ran some blood tests last night on a hunch and she was right. You're going to be a dad."

Squall couldn't move, couldn't breathe. He couldn't say anything but he really didn't have to because just as the words sank in, Rinoa's heart monitor stopped beeping.

A/N: Ok, so, sorry about the late update. The next chappie is in the works, promise! ;) Read and review and I'll update soon!