Disclaimer: I own no part of Ouran High School Host Club or Fruits Basket; they belong to Hatori Bisco and Natsuki Takaya, etc.
Chapter Eight: Heroics, Black Magic, and Family
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"Students on the loose!"
Tohru, and Haruhi, and Hunny plunged out the doors, the beautiful sunshine contrasting with the fact that roughly a dozen security men were chasing them down.
Yeah, just one of those days.
After a dizzying series of turns past several panda-shaped hedges, a statue featuring the goddess Athena, and a fountain with what looked curiously like lawn gnomes in the center, Hunny led them to a secluded side of the south wing. Yellow metal scaffolding was nearly pressed against it, towering impossibly high.
"I remember the roof was being repaired," Hunny chirped brightly. "The workers are having lunch, so it's all ours! Instead of climbing up from the inside, we can just get up on the top, and swing down into the Third Music Room! Doesn't it sound exciting!"
The miniature blonde grinned up at them, oblivious to their saucer-wide eyes.
"Um, I guess they're the experts, but couldn't they have rented some sort of lift?" Tohru squeaked. The wind picked up; the scaffold groaned, swaying ominously.
Hunny poked a fingertip in his mouth as he though, a habit picked up from licking frosting off countless cakes. "But…where's the fun in that?"
"HARUHI!!"
Tohru watched him freeze. "It can't be."
With a wham, Haruhi hit the grass, buried under two orange-haired bundles of affection.
"Safe and unharmed, God heard our prayers!" Kaoru crowed exultantly, nuzzling the poor boy's face.
"Did you miss us, Little Toy?" Hikaru smirked impishly, poking Haruhi's cheek.
Haruhi simply looked resigned. "Why did I not know they'd find me?" he sighed.
"Takashi, Takashi!" Hunny leapt into Mori's arms.
Rin and Tohru were left staring at the exuberant reunions.
"It's official."
Tohru made a small, curious sound, gazing up at the icy beauty.
"I've been dumped on an alien planet," Rin said flatly, "and I want to get off."
"Well…at least the natives are friendly!" Tohru said cheerfully.
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Hunny bounced and vaulted higher and higher up the scaffolding, his hands on Rin's bottom so he could carry her over his little head.
If he didn't have the mentality of a first-grader, Rin fumed, he'd have my heel in his head for suggesting this.
How had it come to this? Oh, yes, there was no other way for her to make it without having to be carried in another boy's arms, or ride piggy-back; climbing solo would have been far too slow.
And of course the damned zodiac couldn't have a winged horse!
Her thoughts flashed briefly to Kisa; when she dove out of the "Advance Guard's" safety to get Hiro's clothes, they'd be separated. Rin thought she saw Kyouya Ohtori appear, trying to shield the smaller girl. She hoped she saw right; Ohtori often flashed a chilling, mature version of Hiro's fox smile, but he and Mori appeared to be the only one of their guides with their heads firmly screwed on.
Crushed at "Sohma-hime's" refusal for help up the wall, the Hitachiins consoled themselves with tossing Haruhi (threatening and protesting loudly) back and forth between them. Mori took more care with Tohru, who tried to scold the twins, and was failing miserably.
Once on the roof, they couldn't go directly to the Third Music Room, because they wound up too far from that side of the sloping roof, and the windows themselves.
"They're all locked form the inside, so we'll need to smash one that lets us into a hallway", Hikaru explained, hoisting a length of rope plucked from the scaffold.
Tohru was unsure. "But I'm sure we could make it to the other side—"
"If we busted a Music Room window, Kyouya would make Haruhi pay damages."
"Why?"
"For the hell of it."
They didn't mention Haruhi's debt, but the way Kyouya tallied things, it was entirely plausible.
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Renge Houshakuji gazed happily at the cosplay outfit she gladly skipped lunchtime to finish.
I could eat three bowls of—no, I could eat a whole rice paddy!
She finally decided on Angelic Layer as her theme for the next convention. Squeezing her handmade Eriol Academy uniform, Renge twirled, staring at the blue and white clothes. She threw open the door of the classroom and decided to open the big window across the hall. Such celebration demanded unfiltered sunshine!
Renge flipped the lock and flung the window doors out. "I'm getting at least second place in the cosplay contest!" she squealed. The bouncing otaku skipped joyfully down the hall—
"GAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Renge whipped around.
Nothing.
She shrugged, then resumed skipping away.
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In the empty classroom, Hikaru and Kaoru lay in a tangled pile of limbs, so stunned they barely groaned.
Hikaru twitched.
"Renge…figures…"
The rope they had swung from waved mocking in the window. From the roof, the twins could hear Haruhi calling, asking if they could start swinging in.
Kaoru dragged himself away from his brother, crawling on his elbows. "I dunno…at least there's no broken glass…"
"That damn otaku rendered our act of heroism worthless!" Hikaru wailed in reply. "If I'm gonna swing myself off a roof into a window, I should at least get to break the glass for my trouble! DAMN—IT!"
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At some point the tunnel had given way to a curving flight of steps. Arisa was still the leader with Hana beside her; she'd offered to hand the flashlight to Kyouya and take a turn carrying Kisa, but was refused.
"She who holds the flashlight rules the world," he'd replied, obviously trying to flatter.
"Any theories on who made this place and why? The tunnel looked manmade, and these steps sure are."
Kyouya combed his mind for his knowledge of the academy's history.
"Ouran was formally established around 1920, a mere fifty years after Japan was 'opened' and foreign learning was introduced. We underwent changes after World War II when the allied occupational government made educational reforms nationwide…but physically, there've been no changes. We've always had a European-influenced atmosphere; we've always used this campus. I think it was actually a private estate and then donated for use as a school, but I never found paperwork listing previous owners…"
Arisa sighed. Of course he'd have an encyclopedic account of Ouran's past in his head. Sure, knowledge was power, but how much power could this guy need?
Some questions, you don't want answered, she replied to herself. "Oi, Ohtori, you really don't have to carry Kisa all the way, I don't mind—YOW!" The light danced about as she stumbled back.
"Hit my head on something!"
"You can't be serious." That from Sir Smarty-Pants, of course. "What on Earth could you find down here to smack your head on?"
In answer, she started pounding the butt of the flashlight against the offending surface, feeling it give slightly. "Trapdoor, I bet. These stairs had to end somewhere, so I guess this is it. Hana, help me, I think we can push this…"
The door lifted and landed with a muffled thump. Arisa cautiously popped her blonde head up from the dark depths.
Candle, candelabras, and a few oil lamps were lit and scattered around the huge room, making itonly slightly lighter than the underground stairs. The door had been muffled from the lush Persian carpet covering it. Plush velvet armchairs surrounded a cold, dead fireplace. Thick drapes covered the windows, blocking every bit of sun.
Three of the walls were crowded with paintings with subjects depressing, disturbing, and downright creepy: vultures, ghost ships battered by pitch-black waves, dim moors, even one featuring a black jack table with a Grim Reaper dealer and skeleton clientele. Most frames, however, featured tigers, leopards, lions, and housecats of every breed, all with glowing eyes that popped out from the paint. A few were portraits, and whether hooded or not, all the people wore black cloaks.
Built-in bookshelves covered one wall, filled with countless tomes, metal instruments, picture frames, and dozens of other odds and ends, including a skull.
…Skull?
In one corner stood a long wooden table, piled with interconnected glass tubes, bottles, phials, and flasks; strangely-colored liquids bubbling, raced through them with the occasional puff of smoke. Notes lay scattered all over, foreign words and symbols scribbled on them in thick ink.
On the very furthest end of the room was what looked like—nothing else could describe it—an altar, purple cloth, black candles, a suspicious-looking tome flipped open on it, the whole satanic shebang, complete with a looming musical organ behind.
And presiding over the altar stood a black-cloaked figure with a raven perched on one hand, a pale puppet covering the other, and a slack-jawed look on his hooded face.
"Uotani."
"Yes."
"Where are we?"
"Hell."
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After discreetly slipping Kisa behind a convenient dressing screen standing in a corner, Kyouya strode over to talk to their unexpected host. Understandably, Nekozawa was thrown for a loop.
Umehito Nekozawa, third year student and inveterate photophobe, was leader of the Black Magic Club—a rather harmless, if eccentric person, but if you wanted someone to get their pants scared off, he was your man.
"I'm not sure I understand, Kyouya-kun," Nekozawa mumbled in his wavy voice. "You came from a flight of stairs…going down to a tunnel…beginning in the hedge maze?"
Kyouya, Hana, and Uo-chan nodded.
"Inconceivable…no idea…" he muttered absently, pacing before the altar. Beelzenef the cat puppet looked equally perplexed, a pale paw scratching its chin. "Stairs…under the carpet…?"
FOOM.
The three 'guests' jumped and whirled; they watched Kisa patter out of the dark.
"Are you unharmed, Kisa-chan? What was that noise?" Hana asked.
"Um, um…"
"My formulas, no doubt." Nekozawa had Beelzenef gesture to the table covered with glass containers and liquids. A boiling, bubbling sound rose and fell, and a burst of greenish smoke shot out. "They get rambunctious at times, especially when I add a touch of arsenic to the mixture."
Arisa tucked Kisa firmly under her arm. "Mind showing us the way out?"
"It would be interesting to discuss any theories you might have about that underground route," Kyouya directed to Nekozawa.
"And I would like to stay a bit," Hana added from the bookcase. She ran a finger along the spine of Practical Theory to Hexes, Curses, and the Evil Eye. "It has such a soothing atmosphere."
"Yeah, I bet most people settle down pretty quick with arsenic," her blonde friend drawled. "The exit, please?"
After showing them the door and giving them directions, Nekozawa gingerly took Hana's hand and kissed her fingertips. "A dark angel is always welcomed in the Black Magic Club Headquarters."
Arisa rolled her eyes, hooking her arm through Hana's. "He's your type, Hanajima," she hissed, "but I draw the line at arsenic."
"Little one."
Kisa turned to find Nekozawa looming over her. She hopped back with a squeak.
"I sensed you would appreciate this; you seem very much like a timid kitten." Nekozawa rummaged in his cloak and pulled out a roly-poly wooden cat doll with Beelzenef's face. "A toy for someone who reminds me of my sister Kirimi."
"Kisa, hurry up," Hana beckoned.
Kyouya hung back and looked at his senpai over his glasses. "An uncursed doll, I trust?"
"Completely harmless, Kyouya-kun!" Nekozawa exclaimed, offended. "Besides, I didn't think you believed in curses."
Not your kind of curse, Kyouya thought. "Let's just say it's better to be safe."
When he caught up with the girls, Hana was saying, "I hadn't realized we'd climbed past the first floor."
"The stairs were partially in the walls, I guess, meaning they haven't been touched in God knows how long," Uo-chan said. "If we walked through asbestos, Ohtori, I'm sending all my medical bills to you."
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"Are you certain you didn't knock him into a coma?" Tamaki inquired.
"I've got no idea," Kyo panted. Yuki had lifted Haru by the underarms and draped him across Kyo's back; after an hour of hauling Haru with barely a rest, Kyo was not a happy camper. "Maybe he'll wake up if I dump him headfirst on the floor."
Tamaki glanced side-long at Yuki. "Y'know, I think he's serious."
"Bingo." Yuki looked back at Kyo, his face as bright as his hair from exertion and temper. "Don't worry, Haru has a head like a bull, you could say."
In typical Suoh style, Tamaki walked backwards to act as cheerleader. "Never fear, Kyo-san! Soon we'll be at the Music Room and reunited with our families!"
"Our families?" Kyo wheezed. "Only us Sohmas are related, and even then it's a stretch callin' us a family."
"I think he meant the Hitachiin brothers, and Hunny- and Mori-senpai," Yuki said. "They mentioned they were cousins?"
"Well, I meant that the Sohma clan and the Kaibara maidens will be together again, and I will rejoin my family, my club mates. We're a school club, I don't think I got the chance to mention that," he explained at the other boys' puzzled looks. "We're certainly not blood-related, but we're family.
"I'm the father-figure," Tamaki said proudly. "Kyouya is Mother, of course" (Yuki and Kyo choked back laughter. They had identical thoughts of a giant, shadowy owl devouring its own young.) "and Hunny-senpai and Mori-senpai are the uncles. I'd be tempted to place Hunny-senpai as the baby, but considering his senior status, that might be a tad insulting. The twins are the wild, wayward teen sons, and Haruhi is my precious daughter!"
Yuki clapped a hand over his mouth, but Kyo roared outright. "What the hell did the poor kid do to get that punishment? Calling him your daughter!"
"Daddy" Suoh was indignant. "You've got to admit that she—he" Tamaki hastily corrected, "he is very beautiful and delicate!"
"You've got some weird ideas, Suoh," Kyo said. "Besides, I'm not that anxious to find the others. As long as I found that Tohru's safe, I'm sure the others can take care of themselves just fine, they're not helpless."
"They're not so strange, and you should care more! I mean, what really makes a family, anyway? Genetics are irrelevant compared to the relationship, the bond. Although you'd think you would care even more since you do share blood—"
"It takes more than blood to make a family!" Kyo snapped.
"Precisely my point! Take the Kaibara girls—you went to school with them, laughed and spent time with them, so don't they mean as much to you as your cousins? Isn't a family first and foremost a group of friends because there is something greater than blood that binds them?"
Yuki was ready to step in before a shouting match broke out when…
"…Family-complex."
Kyo craned his head to look into Haru's placid gray eyes.
"Suoh-san has what might be called a family-complex."
"…How long have you been awake?"
"It was infinitely strange," Haru rambled. "Something smashed the back of my skull, and I drifted in and out of consciousness for a while. I found myself placed on the back of some warm creature that growled as it walked, and occasionally swore. I decided to give myself up to sleep…for maybe an hour or so?"
Veins stuck out like thick cables from Kyo's head.
"There's nothing strange about it, dumbass," Kyo hissed. "It means I've been hauling your lazy butt around for a whole hour for nothing, YOU FREAKIN' IDIOT—"
Kyo dropped Haru to the floor and caught him in a chokehold. Before Tamaki and Yuki could intervene, the sound of thunderous footfalls was heard.
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Hanajima's inner-rader went on red-alert.
"Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, Hatsuharu-kun, and Tamaki-san are coming."
"That's great," Kisa cried. "But why don't you look happier?"
"They bring company."
Kyouya and Arisa turned at a distant rumble. Louder…louder…
The four boys turned the corner, an army of security guards hot on their heels.
Kyouya bellowed, "Run, run, run!"
They broke into a flat run; the boys put on a burst of speed and caught up, giving the teens a chance to vent.
"Kyouya, mon ami, I don't think we want to lead them to the club room!"
"I'm thinking, Tamaki, I'm thinking!"
"Long time no see, Carrot-Top!"
"Shut up and run, Yank!"
"Haru-nii!"
"Be brave, kitten."
"Any ideas, Hana-chan?"
"Greetings, Yuki-kun, and as a matter of fact I do…"
Hana stopped and whirled, her eyes spitting electric sparks, a violet aura rising from her.
Arisa yelled, "Kyon, find Tohru and the others! Don't worry about us!" and ran to her friend's side. She yanked a small halberd from a decorative suit of armor at the wall, finding it about the same weight as an iron pipe. "Times like this, I'm really glad I'm an ex-yankee!" she said with a fierce grin.
"Would it be too harsh to—beeeep—them, Arisa?"
"Don't hold back, Hanajima."
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The wooden doors of the Third Music Room were finally in sight. Speeding as fast as they were, the group slipped and skidded along the floor when they tried to halt. Kyo was quickest, twisting cat-like to his feet, yanking open the doors—
Slamming into Haruhi.
FOOM.
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Hiro and Momiji pounded to the entrance of the club room.
"Yuki, Haru, Kyo, somebody!" Momiji yelled. "You gotta know: Haruhi is a girl!"
Haruhi sat on the floor, the very picture of dazed and confused, an irate orange cat glaring up from her lap at the two boys.
"You don't say."
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Sheherazade's Blah Blah Blah
That's it for running-around-type-action for now! Hopefully it wasn't awfully confusing, and Chap. 8's a bit longer than my normal ones. I hope you people who've stuck with the story since its early stages will still find it worthwhile. Also, I brought up a theme which I think will prove important: What is a family? On one side you have the non-blood related Host Club; on the other, the Juunishi Sohmas, who are all related, closely or distantly, but are all tied with strings they never wanted.
And again, millions of thanks to those who have reviewed/alerted/favorited The Juunishi Host Club! Jee, so many chapters to get to this point…in the next chapter, I plan on actually bringing the Host Club aspect in here! Also, dear Gure-san reappears!
