Man, I need to stop writing so late. I mean, it isn't really that late, but when I promise to have an update out it should be up before nightfall so people actually see it. Any later, and the hordes will come, swarming in the dark, screaming at the world they once knew and the the things they once loved. All life will be twisted and broken amongst the barren hellscape of a war-torn planet, and as I gaze upon the carnage I will weep a single tear, as I remember all the things I will never do, all the people who never said goodbye, and-

Wow.

That escalated quickly.

*Awkward cough*

Let's just start writing.

~Yours in Madness, Lendruel.


Holly sat on the bed, giggling. She had finished the meal, which was surprisingly well prepared despite being cooked by Artemis. The tray lay on the floor, crumbs and bits of toast the last monument to what happens when pancakes meet a hungry elf. It was a grim sight, and will be forever left to your imagination.

The sight Holly was laughing at was one Artemis Fowl the Second. He was perched on the footboard of her bed, feet resting on the mattress. He had discarded the offensive apron, but there was little to be done about the rest of him. Even with the apron, he had been unable to avoid becoming completely covered in flour. The powdery substance made an alarmingly small amount of difference on his pale skin, but his hair was another matter. It was standing on end, the black locks spiky and streaked with white. He looked like a mad scientist (not too far off) who had received a few too many shocks. He sneezed, and a white cloud erupted around him. The poor mud man was blinded for a moment, falling off his seat. This had the effect of knocking him forward, directly onto the bed.

Artemis shook his head in an attempt to free himself of the clinging dust, but only elicited a sneeze from below him.

Below me? Artemis thought, confused for only a moment before he realized what had happened. This didn't stop him from freezing on the spot as he cautiously opened his eyes.

Artemis was on his elbows and knees on the bed, directly over Holly. There was still a duvet between them, but to him the distance was still uncomfortably close. As his eyes opened, so did Holly's. They made eye contact for a brief moment, then Artemis shot back fast enough to give himself whiplash. He had been only inches away from… Artemis pushed a rebellious few "teenage" thoughts out of his head, and looked down slightly fearfully.

Luckily, Holly was laughing. Artemis watched her with interest. There was something about the way her eyes lit up when she smiled, something that made him forget himself a little more every time. Something that made him want to smile himself. He did so, reciprocating the infectious laugh with a small smile.

"I didn't know stuff like that actually happened in real life!" Holly giggled. Artemis looked at her questioningly. He wasn't always in touch with popular culture, sometimes even less that someone who literally lived underground.

"As opposed to…?"

"Well, in human culture, anime and manga often use this as a kind of trope. Do you-"

"Yes, I know what 'anime' is, Holly. Dimly. I am simply not a connoisseur." The word sounded foreign on Artemis' tongue. He felt the need to say a few long words to counter balance the effect. He resisted the temptation.

"Well, anyway, whenever the writers want to build romantic tension, they always 'accidentally' put the two characters in a situation like this. I guess it lets them show their reactions to each other?"

Artemis sat back, realizing that he was still sat on her legs. "Romantic tension, Holly?"

Shit, Holly thought. I didn't mean to say that. "Well, that is, for TV characters, not for- I mean, it's not really-"

Artemis just smiled his vampire smile, watching her turn very slightly red. Leaning forward slightly, he looked Holly in the eye and waited for her to take a breath. When she finally stopped, he said,

"You appear to be reacting rather strongly, Holly. Any… tension, I should know about?"

"Artemis!" Holly went even redder than before.

"What?" Artemis smiled even wider, a look of pure innocence plastered on his face. The effect was eerie. "I simply meant that, being well studied on the human body, I'm sure I could provide an exemplary massage if you are feeling tense."

Holly threw a pillow at his head. The resulting puff of flour had them both spluttering again for a moment, and Artemis got up as it cleared.

"Very well, Holly. I will leave you to freshen up. We have a big day ahead of us, after all." With that, he stepped backwards out of the room and closed the door, leaving Holly to stew.


This one turned out short, because I'm tired and Photoshop is being a prat today. I feel like this one is pretty poor quality in comparison to the others, sorry about that. I think I didn't want to put too much plot into something that I didn't like, so it got cut short. There'll be another chapter out tomorrow, which will be better. Hopefully before 9 o'clock at night…