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Chapter 8
The pain in my head woke me up well before I wanted to. I don't remember falling asleep, just being in Edward's arm and I was still there. I just wanted to stay this way, but the pain was getting so much worse. Why now? I knew I needed to get up and take something before it got worse but when I started to move, it hit me, the thing I was dreading more than anything, nausea.
I jumped up quickly, praying I would make it to the bathroom in time. I could hear Edward calling my name, panic in his voice. I thankfully made it to the bathroom, slammed the door behind me and wretched into the toilet. My head started pounding more and I could feel tears rolling down my face. Oh I hated this moment.
"Bella! What's wrong?" Edward was at the door in a total panic.
"Edward, it's ok. She has a migraine. She must have woken up with it and they often make her sick." Alice said trying to calm him. She was by the door now too but I didn't remember her being in the room. Had she stayed over last night?
"Are you sure?" Edward said, panic still racing in his voice.
"Trust me, she has had these since she was a little girl and I have seen more than my fair share of them to know what to do. I need two washcloths please and could you get me a Coke or something with caffeine in it."
Alice came into the bathroom and wet the washcloths one with cold water and the other with warm water. I reached up and flushed the toilet and then lay back on the floor. It was cold and felt so good. Alice took the warm cloth and wiped my mouth and eyes. She then took the cold cloth and laid it over my forehead and eyes.
"Alice are your sure, she looks so pale." Edward said handing Alice a bottle of Coke.
"Sit up a minute dear, drink a little bit of this." Alice said to me in her loving way. I sat up to take a drink of the Coke and my head started pounding again. I knew the caffeine would help, but I just wanted to lay back down on the cold floor.
"Alice we need to get her off the cold, hard bathroom floor." Edward said
"No Edward, as odd as it sounds this is what she needs. The cold helps to regulate her body temperature, bring it back down and that helps to take away some of the pressure. Trust me; I know what I am doing."
"But that doesn't make sense." He protested again. I wanted to say something to him to make him feel better, but the pain was just too much and I worried that the nausea would come back if I spoke.
Alice stood up and gently pushed Edward out of the doorway. "Edward I know you are pre-med, but trust me, she has had migraines longer than you have been pre-med. She knows what works and what doesn't. We will be out once her body temp has cooled down and the nausea is gone. Then she will lay down and try and sleep it off." And with that she closed the door on him.
"Thank you Alice" I whispered.
"No problem darling" she said. She sat down beside me and began to run her hand up and down my arm. The soothing motion was relaxing. Poor Alice has been through her fair share of these with me and had become quite the expert on them.
"You know my beautiful Bella; I believe our sweet Edward has developed feelings for you." She cooed
"Alice he just worries about me that's all. I believe he thinks of me as a sister now, like Em." I said trying not to get my hopes up over the possibility that he liked me as more than just a friend or little sister.
"No my dear, I believe it is more than just worry. And trust me; brothers don't look at sisters the way he looks at you." I didn't say anything else, just laid there trying not to let my mind get carried away.
EPOV
I paced the floor of my room trying to figure out what just happened. Everything was so quiet, peaceful and warm. I was pulled out of a blissful sleep by the feeling of Bella rushing out of my arms, into the bathroom and the sounds of her getting sick. My mind was racing all over the place when Alice coolly walked by me telling me it was just a migraine and started giving me orders. Now it feels like they have been in there forever.
"Edward you need to sit down." Emmett said. I shot him a go to hell look and kept pacing. "Seriously dude, you need to chill. I've seen this before myself. That poor thing has had migraines as long as I can remember. Bella and Alice both know how to deal with this; it's not a big deal."
I could hear sounds of movement in the bathroom. The sound of water running and someone brushing their teeth, did this mean she was feeling better?
The door of the bathroom opened up and Alice came out. "Alright, everybody out. Bella needs to try and sleep this off and she needs absolute quiet." Man she could be very bossy for someone so tiny. Emmett, Rose and Jasper got up and walked over to Jasper's room. "You too Edward, out"
"Are you kidding me?" I asked her with disdain.
"Edward she is just going to lie down and go back to sleep. The quieter things are the better. Once she gets in the bed, I am going to leave too."
"Alice I am not leaving her in here by herself. I will just hang out in here and read or chill. I'll be very quiet."
"Edward, why are you being so damn stubborn?" Alice stomped her foot at me.
"It's ok Alice." Bella whispered as she walked out of the bathroom. She was very pale and her hands were shaking.
Being Bella she still tried to put a smile on her face. Alice helped her over to my bed and she crawled under the covers. She laid the washcloth back across her forehead and eyes. Alice leaned in and kissed the top of her head and then turned to leave.
As she went to leave Alice grabbed my hand then put her finger over her lips as if to tell me to keep quiet and then winked at me before leaving.
I closed the door and stood there for a minute trying to figure out what to do that wouldn't make too much noise. I went over to my book bag thinking I would do some homework, but then stopped as the zipper made too much noise. I then went over to get my iPod, but it dropped and I cringed at the noise it made. I stood there for a minute trying to figure out something and silently screaming at myself for being such a klutz all of a sudden. And then I heard this tiny little laugh. Bella had pulled the washcloth up on one side and was looking at me standing there and giggling.
"It's ok Edward; you don't have to be that quiet." She smiled
"Bella I can leave if you want me too. I don't want to bother you."
"Come here Edward" She said as she held up her hand. I walked over and took her hand and sat down on the floor next to the bed. She laid the cloth back down over her eyes, a smile still on her face.
"Bella would it bother you if I hummed to you?"
"I would like that very much thank you."
I started to hum the same lullaby I had the other night and ran my free hand up and down her arm. She fell asleep a few minutes later.
I sat there for the longest time, humming to her and holding her hand. As much as I hated to admit it, Alice was right; she seemed to be ok so I decided to take a shower.
I gathered all of my stuff together and climbed into the stream of warm running water. I just sat there, my head against the wall, letting the warm wash over me. I suddenly felt like I had ADD, not being able to concentrate on any one thing. The way Bella looked when I found her. What she went through. What could have happened to her. What she had to do to escape. The strength that she had. The beauty of her smile, the feeling of her skin, the touch of her hand. The way her kiss felt on my cheek, how good it felt to hold her in my arms, how nice it was to wake up next to her. The fact that more than anything I wanted to kiss her. More than anything I wanted to feel her body fully against mine. The way she….AW FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK! What the hell are you doing, what the hell are you thinking Cullen! I screamed at myself. You have to get control of yourself! You have to stop thinking this is more than what it is. You have to… hurry up and get out of the shower because this water is freezing. How long have I been in here?
I quickly finished my shower, dressed and walked out. I half expected Bella to be awake, but she was still sleeping. She had curled up onto her side and was sleeping in a ball. I worried that she was having a bad dream. I wanted to go over to her and wake her, to make sure she was ok, to hold her in my arms. Damn it you are doing it again. You need to get out of here for a bit, clear your head. I walked over to Bella and brushed the hair out of her face. God she is beautiful. Stop it!
"Bella, I have to step out for a minute, but I'll be back." I whispered but she didn't stir. I stood there for a moment just staring at her. Clear your head Cullen! I needed to talk to someone about what I was feeling, someone who could listen to my story and give an objective opinion. I walked out into the hall, closed the door, slinked down to the floor and pulled out my cell phone.
"Hey Edward, how are you?"
"Not good dad. I really need to talk to you."
I recounted the past few days' events to my dad. I told him about the feelings that were trying to consume me and about all of the confusion that I was going through. He quietly listened, never interrupting me or saying anything. When I finished my story I sat there and waited.
Well Edward, you have been busy the past couple of days haven't you?
"Dad" I said a little annoyed
I know, not the time for humor or sarcasm. I wish I knew what to tell you. The attack alone is one thing to have to deal with really for both of you since you are so much a part of it now, but then to have the feelings that you have now on top of it. You said you know her through Emmett, did you know her that well before this happened.
"Not as well as I would have liked." I answered honestly
What do you mean by that?
"We would talk a little whenever she and Emmett's sister Alice would stop by the room to see Emmett and I would see her around, either when I was on duty doing rounds or when she would visit the guys she knows across the hall. Alice would tell me things about Bella when I would see them, I think to get my attention, but the funny thing is the more she told me about her, the more interested in her I became. And then a few weeks after school started we were at a party at the house and this guy she went to high school with was bothering her, trying crudely to get her attention when Alice blurted out that she could not like him because she had a crush on me. Unfortunately when she said it, the music stopped and everyone in the room heard her, including me. For a moment I was happy, but then the look on Bella's face made me realize that she didn't really have a crush on me so I just sort of let it drop."
Edward did you think maybe the look on her face was because she did or does have a crush on you but didn't want anyone to know it, especially not under those circumstances?
"Well I wanted that to be the case, but then I was afraid to go there. Plus there was the whole mess with Tanya and trying to end things with her and I guess I just didn't want to deal with the rejection."
Well I guess I can understand that. Do you think you can handle still being there for her now?
"Absolutely! I can't just walk away from her unless she wants me to. I know the more I am around her my feelings for her will just continue to grow, but I cannot leave her now. I worry about what it would do to her. And I just don't think I can be without her. If I have to be a friend or big brother like Emmett I will just have to do that, but as Emmett said, she has drawn me in and there is no turning back."
What does Emmett mean 'drawn you in'?
"We had this conversation about Bella a few months ago about how people seem to be drawn to her and he said there is just something about her that draws people in, he didn't know what it was though. And it's true; you should see how people react to her. And then there was the way Emmett acted when I told him about what happened to Bella, he broke down and cried. He actually cried Dad. Of course that was before he tried to kill the wrong person."
Emmett cried? Well that proves your mother right!
"What do you mean?" I asked very surprised
She always said Emmett was just a big teddy bear hiding behind all of that brawn. He laughed.
"Mom always was very perceptive."
Edward I know you want to do the right thing by Bella and I would expect nothing less than that from you, but please make sure you don't end up with a broken heart at the same time. Once things have found some normalcy back in her life, talk to her, found out what she's thinking and then figure out if you can continue to be a part of her life or if you need to walk away.
"You're right dad, I know you are. Thanks for listening to me. Hey are you guys still coming next weekend for parent's weekend?"
It's all your mother has talked about it. Maybe we'll get a chance to meet Bella? He asked sounding hopeful.
"I would like that. I have to warn you though, mom may adopt her as the daughter she never had."
I think I'll wait and just let her meet Bella instead of saying anything to her, she is giddy enough as it. I'm not sure I could handle her any more hyped up. We both laughed in agreement on that statement. I'm proud of you Edward, it takes a good man to put his life on hold and take care of someone else like you have. I could hear that pride in his voice.
"Thanks. I love you dad"
I love you too.
After I hung up the phone I sat there for a minute thinking about everything my dad had said. I knew he was right about talking to Bella, but now the thing was figuring out what normalcy in her life would be like and just when that would happen. I could hear Emmett and Jasper in Jasper's room playing Wii. Emmett's voice could carry down five hallways let alone three doors. I looked at my watch and realized dad and I had been talking for about 45 minutes and I wanted to get back in and check on Bella. I knocked on the door lightly not wanting to walk in on her if she was changing, but I heard nothing. I opened the door slowly and could see that Bella was still sleeping in that same curled up position as she had been. I walked over to her and she appeared to be shaking. I was concerned that she was having a bad dream, but when I sat down on the bed I could tell something wasn't right.
"Bella" I said lightly but got no response. "Bella" I said again but louder this time still with no response. I gently put my hand on her arm to shake her and she stirred slightly, she felt warm.
"Edward?" Her voice was shaky, almost like her teeth were chattering.
"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?"
"I'm freezing Edward." She rolled over and despite her saying she was freezing, she had sweat on her forehead and she looked clammy. I put the back of my hand on her head and she was burning up.
"Bella sweetie you are on fire, is this normal for a migraine?"
"No" she whispered
"Bella, are you in any pain?"
"My head feels better, but the rest of my body hurts."
"All over?" She shook her head yes.
"Bella, I am going to go get Emmett. We need to take you back to the hospital." She tried to get up to protest but she could barely lift herself up off the pillow.
"Bella, no protesting, Dr.'s orders!" I tried to make her laugh, make myself laugh really, but it did no good. I was scared. "I'll be right back."
I rushed over to Jasper's room and threw open the door. The look on my face must have been dire because Emmett jumped up from his seat and was halfway out the door before I could say anything.
"What's wrong?" he asked rushing back to our room
"She's very sick; she is burning up and has very little strength. I need to get her back to the hospital."
Emmett threw open the door. I expected the noise to startle Bella, but she just lay there. Alice, Rose and Jasper came in to the room quickly behind us.
"Bella" I walked over to her but got no response. "Bella, Emmett is here and we are going to take you to the hospital." Still no response. I sat on the bed and shook her arm. "Bella" Nothing "BELLA" I screamed and shook her. Still nothing
"Emmett she's not responding we need to get…." Before I could finish he pushed me out of the way and picked her up.
"Jasper, is your car still out front?" he said as he was making his way to the door. Jasper tore out behind him and the rest of us followed close behind. When we got to the car, Emmett crawled in the back with Bella and I slide in beside them. Before closing the door he leaned up to tell Rose to follow them in his jeep. Alice climbed in the front seat.
"Edward, I can feel her heartbeat racing, that isn't good is it?" Emmett said in a panic.
"No Emmett, that isn't good at all, Jasper do you think you can speed up a little…" before I could finish the car accelerated.
The rest of the way there, Emmett and I kept trying to get her to wake up and talk with us, but we never got any kind of movement.
We made it to the hospital in no time at all. We rushed her into the ER and luckily Dr. Turner was the first person we saw.
"Dr. Turner, I don't know if you remember me but I was here the other night. This young lady was attacked and you…"
"Yes Edward I remember you. What's wrong with Bella? Ms. Mallory exam room 4 please." The nurse he had just spoken with was showing us back to an exam room. Alice, Jasper and Rose were not allowed to follow us back.
"She woke up this morning with a migraine and she got sick. Afterwards she laid down to sleep it off. She had been a sleep for almost two hours when I noticed that she was shaking. When I woke her to check on her, she could barely speak and was not able to lift herself up in bed. She said she was freezing but when I touched her she was burning up. I walked out of the room for a moment to get Emmett here to help me bring her back to the hospital and when we got back in the room she was completely unresponsive."
We made our way to the exam room and Emmett laid Bella down on the bed. Nurse Mallory grabbed a thermometer and pressure cuff. Dr. Turner checked her pupils and tried to get Bella to respond. Emmett and I stood over to the side.
"Bella can you hear me? It's Dr. Turner, can you wake up for me Bella. Her pupils are not dilating."
"Dr Turner her temp is 105 and her BP is 70 over 40 and she is at 100 bpm."
"Dr. Turner you have to do something quickly." I said rushing over to her side. A temp that high, bp that low and an accelerated heartbeat are not good at all.
"Edward, has there been any problems with her wounds, have you seen any signs of infection?"
"No, we re-bandaged them a couple of times, always cleaning them before hand." He looked at the wound on her neck and than her leg.
"Has she complained of pain, fever or any other problems?"
"She said she was in a little bit of pain and something about bringing down her body temperature to help the headache. She took the stuff you gave us Friday night but because it knocked her out she didn't want to take it anymore. She has been taking Tylenol pretty regularly. She did not take anything this morning because she got sick as soon as she got up."
Still unable to get a response from Bella, Dr, Turner turned to us.
"Edward, I'm afraid you two are going to have to leave so we can run some tests."
"We are not leaving her!" both Emmett and I screamed at the same time.
"Edward, listen to me, I need you two to leave. I know this is hard for you, but being a Dr's kid you of all people know how this is going to work. I hate to say this, but you either leave on your own or I'm going to have security escort you off the premise."
"The hell you say" Emmett screamed, rushing over to Bella as if to take her out of here.
"Emmett he's right. It's not doing her any good with us being in here right now."
"But Edward…" he looked at me like I had just betrayed him.
"Emmett I am not happy about this either, but unfortunately there is nothing we can do for her right now." He shook his head in disgust and stormed out of the room. I leaned down and kissed Bella's head before turning and walking out of the room.
"Edward wait, I'm not trying to be a hard ass here, but Bella is my first concern right now. I need to have total focus on her and I cannot do that with the two of you in here, you know that. As soon as I know something, I promise you I will come and let you know."
"Thank you Dr. Turner" I whispered, hanging my head down as I walked out of the room. I stood outside of the exam room for a moment, watching them work on Bella and I could feel the tears starting to wail up in my eyes. "God please let her be ok." I whispered.
When I made my way back to the waiting room, Emmett was pacing back and forth and Rose was trying to calm him down. Jasper was holding Alice in her arms, her head on his shoulder sobbing. None of us acknowledged the other. I walked over to a chair and sunk down into it, burying my head in my hands. The waiting room was loud, filled with people, but all I could hear was Bella's weak voice telling me she was freezing. Why was this happening? How could she survive an attack and then have some stupid infection do this to her? I wanted to scream again, but I couldn't. I had nothing left in me, no strength, no faith, nothing!
We had been sitting there for over an hour when Dr. Turner came and got us. He asked us to follow him to a private consult room. Fear over took me at that point, because I knew they usually used these rooms to deliver very bad news. Emmett would not look at me the whole time. I knew he was still mad at me for making him leave Bella.
"Edward I am not supposed to do this because you are not family, but knowing that you were here with her Friday, I feel that I need to. Her blood work shows signs of Sepsis."
"What the hell is that?" Emmett asked.
"It's an infection that gets into the blood stream and spreads throughout the body. It more than likely started as Lymphangitis from the stab wound on her leg."
"But Dr. Turner I cleaned that wound several times, there was no puss, no warmth, no swelling. I never noticed red streaking either."
"Edward given the bruising around that wound, the red streaking would not have been noticeable."
"What are you doing for her?" I asked still trying to get my head around this.
"We have her on a very high dose of antibiotics to fight Sepsis. She woke up briefly while we were working on her, but she didn't say anything and then she was unresponsive again. We are moving her ICU to treat her and prevent any further compromise to her immune system or her internal organs. We should know more in a couple of hours as the antibiotics have a chance to work through her system."
"How did this happen? I was very careful with her wounds and they did not look infected at all. She was fine until a few hours ago. How could an infection spread that quickly and make her that sick without any other signs or symptoms?" I asked, really begged.
"Chances are she developed the infection while she was here Friday night and it slowly spread throughout her body. The Tylenol that she has been taking masked the fever, chills and pain that she would have experienced. Her body has been under tremendous stress these past few days with the attack and then with the added stress a person's body goes through with a migraine her immune system has been greatly compromised. Her white blood count is well over 14,000. ICU is up on the 8th floor and there is a waiting room up there that you all can move to. I will continue to check in on her and let you know as soon as there is any change." He patted me on the shoulder and walked out of the room. I stood there for a minute feeling like my world was crumbling. I refused to turn around and face the others with my failures.
"I..I..don't know what I did wrong? I should have cleaned the wounds better; I should have examined her leg closer for red streaking. I shouldn't have let so many people around her, I should have… I should have…"
"Damn it Edward, shut the fuck up!" Emmett walked over to me and turned me around to face him. "It wasn't anything that you did. We all saw what good care you took care of her, a hell of lot better than the rest of us could have done. If you need to blame someone, blame the bastard who attacked her. She wouldn't be sick if it wasn't for him and what he did to her. This has nothing to do with the care you gave her, it's his fault entirely." I knew he was right, but I couldn't help but blame myself.
"Alice"
"Yes Edward" her voice was broken from the sobs
"Do you have her parents' number? I guess they are going to find out much sooner than Bella wanted, but we have to let them know."
"I do, I'll call them now." She stepped away from the group to place the call.
This is not the way I wanted to meet her parents for the first time!
A/N Reviews are always welcomed!
