Chapter 8

Stan pov

It had been a week since we had been to the clinic and we had to go back again today for a few tests. I didn't get why we couldn't just use condoms or the pill, although Wendy had been on that the last time and nine months later we had another kid in the family. So we had to go and have some tests done today. I had no idea what, I just knew we were running late and we needed to get the kids to my moms in five minutes.

"Okay, all family to the hallway please, all family to the hallway." I yelled and my words echoed around he house. I could hear Belle crying and Wendy screaming and Harvey singing and knew it was no use, no one would hear me over that racket. Except for Hannah who appeared at the top of the stairs and walked down elegantly.
"Hi dad." She greeted as she took her place in the hallway.
"At least we have one family member who listens." I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"Yeah well, Hope's still in bed, Harry spilt milk all over the carpet and Belle's new diapers aren't easy to put on. I can do them but when I offered mom just yelled 'I can look after my own kids' so I decided to leave it." Hannah explained and I gave her a sympathetic look before clicking on.
"Wait, Hope's still in bed?" I yelped and rushed up the stairs. "Hope?" I began knocking on her door.
"What do you want?" I heard a mumble from inside.
"Hope we're supposed to be at grandmas in five minutes." I told her.
"Sucks to be you then." She muttered and I opened the door slowly.
"Hope-" I began and she jumped out of bed.
"Hey!" She yelled. "I could have been getting dressed you pervert!"
"Hope I'm not a-" I started.
"You could have seen me naked, you're a pedophile!" She accused and I raised my eyebrows.
"I'm your father, I'm not a pedophile." I stated and shook my head at her appearance. There was no way she was going to be ready for five minutes time. "Hope please just get ready, today is a really important day for me and your mother so we really need to be on time."
"Huh, anything that concerns mom is not important to me." She scoffed.
"Do you want more siblings?" I asked, knowing this was the only way round her.
"Nope." Hope shook her head. "I'm leaving home if we get another."
"Well then we have to go to the birth control clinic, to make sure there won't be anymore." I told her and there was silence. I saw her ponder this for a second and thought I had finally managed to defeat her.
"...Well that's the whole point." She mused and I frowned.
"What?" I sighed.
"If you don't go to the crappy birth control clinic now then your birth control won't be sorted out, that means that if you have to quieten your boner over the next few days, mom won't be on the pill, you won't have any condoms and you will end up with yet another child. Therefore when this child is born, I will move out and then I will be freed. Replaced completely in the family by some Harriet or Henry or Hashtag..." She explained and I stood there in shock for a few seconds.
"Ok, four things." I droned, sitting down on her bed. "Firstly, watch your language. Secondly, you will not be moving out until you're eighteen."
"But-" She began.
"Thirdly..." I interrupted. "There is no way we are going to call our baby 'Hashtag' and lastly, get ready now." I began to leave but she wasn't finished.
"My names weird enough. What's wrong with 'Hashtag'?" Hope grimaced.
"Hashtag Marsh? Really?" I held back the smile but she saw it and we both began laughing.
"Swag dad." She smiled.
"Very funny, get dressed now." I sighed and left her room.

"Everything ok?" Wendy asked as I closed the door. She was standing by the door with Belle under her arm and was holding Harry's leash... You have to restrain kids sometimes.
"Yeah yeah fine, she's... Almost ready." I lied but didn't want to panic her. "Is everyone else ready?"
"Harvey's putting on his shoes and but apart from that, yes." She smiled as I tickled Belle under the chin and ruffled Harry's hair.
"Great, way to go Team Marsh!" I cheered and Wendy raised her eyebrows at me. "Or not..."
"Ok, let's get into the car everyone." Wendy called and led the two younger ones downstairs whilst Hannah collected Harvey from his room.

"Can I take my dinosaur?" I heard Harvey ask.
"Yes, you can take your dinosaur." Hannah replied.
"Can I take my fire truck?" He continued and I wandered over to the doorway. Harry and Harvey shared a room, Hannah's room was next to Hope's, Belle slept in her crib in our room next to Harry and Harvey's and then my office was at the end. We also had a bathroom the other side of Hope's room and a shower room next to that. It was a fairly big house I must say, but we needed it.
"Yes of course you can take your fire truck, let's just get in the car Harvey." Hannah sighed.
"Ok but I need to take my drawing pad and pencils." He continued and Hannah picked up a carrier bag from the corner of the room.
"I tell you what, put all of your toys and things you want to take in here ok?" She handed him the bag and Harvey began loading things in. "Okay are you ready now?"
"Yes." He answered and held her hand as she led him out of the room, carrying the bag with her. I wondered whether Hannah would ever turn out like Hope had, I really hoped not because she was the best behaved and most helpful member of the family.

"Hope, are you ready?" I called.
"One second!" She yelled and I put my head in my hands. I waited a while and then eventually her bedroom door opened slowly. She grabbed the hoodie off the door handle and followed me down the stairs. I jumped in the drivers seat of the car and Hope climbed in the trunk. There was two seats in the trunk, three seats in front of that in which Hannah sat in between Harry and Harvey and Wendy and me sat in the front, with Belle on her lap. For now, Belle was young enough to sit on her lap, but when she grew older I knew she would have to sit in the back with Hope. A time I did not want to be around for.

It was a short drive to my parents house, but we still arrived late. As usual the kids fussed around when we got there, mom tried to offer me a cup of tea and dad waved a mouldy pop tart in my face but we managed to get away as soon as we could.
"You excited about the clinic?" Wendy asked once we were back in the car and I gave her a look.
"...Yeah, it's gonna be a thrill..." I droned, starting the engine.
"I mean, because after we've sorted all this out, we can finally have sex again without having to pop another one out nine months later." She sighed.
"Pop another one out?" I repeated. "It didn't look that easy."
"Oh trust me it wasn't." Wendy replied. "Five times Stan, five bloody times."
"And it really was bloody." I stated and she put her hand to her forehead.
"Ugh, don't even remind me." She shook her head. "Anyway, there will be no more now." I felt my hand tense on the steering wheel then. I knew we were going to get birth control, but did that really mean no more ever? Did she seriously mean we weren't going to have any more children in the future?

"Wendy?" I muttered.
"Yeah Stan." She replied, studying her phone carefully.
"When you say 'no more', do you mean that we are never going to have any more children?" I asked and she looked at me.
"Well yes." She frowned. "Isn't that what we want?"
"...I don't want anymore kids for a while... But what happens in like ten years? We're only thirty now, Hope will be leaving home, by the sounds of it very soon." I explained. "You're saying that in the future, when all the kids grow up, we're not going to have anymore?"
"Yes." She nodded confidently. "Otherwise I wouldn't have booked the appointment for two weeks, would I?"
"...What appointment?" I questioned, suddenly alert that she had other ideas to me.
"I'm getting my tubes tied." She said matter-of-factly and the car screeched to a halt in the middle of the road.
"Wait what?" I yelled and she looked confused.
"Stan..." She panicked. "You just stopped in the middle of the-"
"You're getting your tubes tied?" I yelped.
"Well yeah I thought that was what we both wanted." She argued, still looking precariously at the road behind.
"Wendy look at me!" I yelled and she snapped her head round in shock. "Are you serious?"
"Yes I'm dead serious Stan." She told me. "I thought I had already had this conversation with you, I'm booked in for the operation next Friday."
"You're serious?" I asked again, waiting for her to crack a smile, but I knew Wendy, she could act, but not this well.
"YES I AM SERIOUS STAN!" She screamed and I jumped.
"You know this means we can't have kids anymore?" I explained, yet again.
"I don't want anymore children, they're a handful, we've had enough." Wendy confirmed and my heart sank. How could she not tell me about this?
"Why didn't you talk about this with me?" I shook my head. "This isn't just your decision-"
"IT'S MY BODY STAN!" She broke out. "IT'S ME WHO HAS TO GO THROUGH NINE MONTHS OF PAIN AND THEN PUSH COUNTLESS CHILDREN OUT OF ME. SICKNESS AND BLOOD AND DRUGS. I DON'T WANT THAT ANYMORE, I WANT TO STOP. THAT'S WHY WE
WENT TO THE BIRTH CONTROL CLINIC, WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY DO? GIVE YOU FREE CONDOMS? THAT'S WHY IM HAVING THE FUCKING TESTS, TO CHECK IM OK FOR SURGERY!"
"...Wendy please-" I began but there was not time to finish because I felt a massive jolt as something collided with the back of the car. I heard Wendy scream as our vehicle started skidding on the icy roads and I felt my head snap back. Then there was darkness, only darkness...

Kyle pov

"Hello and welcome to you're weekly Lamaze classes, I am Helen and I will be helping you through this magical and beautiful time in your lives, for both mothers and fathers." A smily woman greeted as she entered the room.
"Magical and beautiful my ass." Bebe muttered and I rubbed her stomach. She was getting very large now, she was seven months and hating it.
"Shh!" I hushed her, but had to bite my lip to fight back the laughter. She was so moody at the moment, I would get sat on if I told her this, but it was hilarious.

"Right, so let's take you through some breathing exercises first." Helen explained. "In a few months, varying for all of you, you will be delivering your baby. Now some of you may be feeling scared about this, but I'm sure with my help, the nerves will slip away and be placed with excitement."
"Ha!" Bebe piped up again and half the class turned to look at her.
"...Ok." Helen gave Bebe a weird look but carried on. "So let's start with contractions shall we? Contractions can start in very little bursts, just like stomach cramps, for these you may just be able to let them pass, but it's when they get stronger that we need to learn how to breathe through them."
"Ugh..." My wife mumbled and Helen started to look quite annoyed.
"Tell you what." Helen smiled. "Bebe, why don't you come and demonstrate this to the class?"
"Oh um..." Bebe looked up, her eyes wide. "No thanks, I don't know how to... Do that..."
"Well I'll show you." Helen beamed.
"Oh um... Ok then..." She sighed and slowly dragged herself up from the floor. I pulled a face at her and she glared at me, but Helen saw this.
"Oh and your partner can help too." She nodded at me.
"Huh, what?" I droned.
"You can come and help." Helen demanded sweetly.
"Um..." I trailed off, noticing Bebe was now pulling a face at me. "I don't want to." I finished blankly and Helen put her hands on her hips.
"For God's sake, you're wife is in labour and you're not going to help her?" Helen cried, raising her eyebrows.,
"Wait, she's in labour? What?" I fretted and I saw a few people in the room roll their eyes.
"We're practicing for labour." One woman yelled at me from across the room and I glared at her.
"Are you saying you're not going to be with Bebe when she gives birth?" Another man asked.
"Well yes of course I am." I stood up and reluctantly dragged myself to the front, deciding this was the best option.

"Ok, finally." Helen sighed. "Right Bebe, I need you to lie down with your head against this pillow and Kai, kneel by her side."
"Kyle..." I corrected her. "And why would I be kneeling in a-"
"Oh shut up!" She yelled and everyone looked taken-aback.
"Ok... I'm shutting up..." I mumbled and sat down next to Bebe.

"Right." Helen smiled sweetly again. "Bebe, to breathe, all you need to do is breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Can you I that for me."
"Erm... Ok." Bebe looked at me and gave a half hearted attempt at breathing.
"Ok now make the breaths stronger, remember you're breathing through pain." Helen explained.
"Agh." Bebe rolled her eyes and began to breathe heavier.
"Very good." Helen smiled. "Now can you breathe like this?" She demonstrated breathing by making certain 'hee-hoo' sounds and I put my hand to my head, this was so embarrassing.
"Hee-hoo..." Bebe muttered unenthusiastically, Helen looked as if she was about to snap at her again.
"KYLE!" She yelled and I jumped. Obviously she wasn't anticipating to snap at Bebe. "What are you doing?"
"I'm kneeling by her like you told me to." I defended myself.
"And whilst this is happening, you're just going to sit there?" Helen inquired.
"Well you haven't told me what to do!" I exclaimed.
"Well what would you do if she was in labour right now?" Helen questioned.
"I don't know, that's why I came to these classes." I argued, noticing a large vain pulsing on her forehead. "...But you know... You could like, offer her a snack or something..." The vain got bigger and I realised I hadn't helped anything.
"I thought you read the books?" Bebe asked.
"I read the bits about pregnancy and false contractions but not all this... Yucky stuff..." I trailed off, realising how pathetic I sounded.
"Women can't eat during labour." Helen told me.
"Oh that's unfortunate." I bit my lip. "We have a massive KFC right next to the-"
"KYLE!" Bebe and Helen both yelled. This was hopeless, there was no way I was ready to be a dad, clearly. I thought I had done well at revising this whole thing; about a month ago, Bebe knew nothing and I was the one explaining it to her. However now it had switched around.

"...Ok." Helen sighed. "That's it with the breathing, how about we try some birthing positions?"
"Oh God..." Bebe muttered and Helen gave her a look.
"Not with you two!" She laughed. "Jack and Kirsty, why don't you two come up here and demonstrate and these two can... Have a rest."
"Happy to." Kirsty smiled as she stood up.
"Happy to!" Me and Bebe chorused as we sat back down in our previous space. I watched absent mindlessly as Jack and Kirsty did a great job at the positions and listened to a few of Bebe's grunts. I felt my phone vibrate and pulled it out hastily, hiding it in my lap where Helen wouldn't be able to see. I didn't recognise the number, and it wasn't saved in my contacts. I opened the message quickly and scanned over the words on the screen:

'(Group Message) Hello to all of Stanley and Wendy Marsh's contacts. This is Hells Pass Hospital and we are messaging you to inform you of an incident that happened earlier on today on 'Mayor Street'. We are afraid to say that your friends Stanley and Wendy have been involved in a car accident and are now in hospital. For Wendy, the damage is not too serious, there are a few scrapes and she had slight concussion earlier on but we are keeping her in a private room to check for any extra damage. Stanley however, still has not woken up since he was brought in to hospital and it seems he may of hit his head during the crash, which may have given him a more serious state of concussion.
If you are a close friend or relative to Stanley or Wendy, we suggest you visit the hospital right away.
We are sorry for this matter of urgency and hope to see you soon.
Hells Pass Hospital.'

I read it over a few times and then clapped my hand to my mouth. I was shocked. I glanced at Bebe who also appeared to be reading the same message on her phone and her eyes widened as she reached the end.
"Oh my God, Kyle-" She started but saw that I was holding up my phone.
"We need to go." I told her and she nodded. "Hi, um, we're leaving now." I cried and began to leave.
"Why, where are you going? We're not finished." Helen called after us.
"Yeah I know but we need to." Bebe followed me.
"Enjoy your... Babies." I waved my hand at everyone and we were then out in the cool air, on our way to the hospital, to see our friends...

Kenny pov

"Honey, what are we doing for Thanksgiving this year?" I asked, whilst flicking through a catalogue.
"Well, the same as always I'm guessing." Red shrugged, she was cooking lunch whilst I sat at the kitchen counter. "Unless you have other ideas."
"No no, it's just that Kyle said yesterday that there was some big get together, didn't know whether we were going to that instead." I said and Red turned to look at me.
"We weren't invited." She declared. "It's at Wendy's house and they invited everyone but us."
"Why not us?" I puzzled and she raised her eyebrows.
"It's at Wendy's house." She repeated. Oh right, that would explain things, obviously Wendy Marsh wouldn't invite us to her party.
"For God's sake, she needs to get over this whole competitive thing." I sighed. "Why can't people just be happy with what they have? Her families perfect..." There was a silence then as we both knew this wasn't really the best word to describe the Marsh family.

"Yeah well..." Red broke the silence. "Who cares anyway? We can have a lovely Thanksgiving here, without anyone else..."
"You want me to see if we can get invited by Stan?" I asserted.
"I don't know." She pondered. "I mean, is it really going to be a great Thanksgiving if the entire time, the host is trying to kick us out of her house?"
"I guess. So much for 'Thanksgiving'." I replied and then a thought came into my head. "Hey, how about if we hold a party too?"
"We can't, everyone's already going to Wendy's, we would have no guests." She quipped.
"Yeah but what if we invited all those guests?" I reasoned. "Everyone's just found out about the girls' success after the interview aired. Don't you think they would rather go to a 'celebrities' house than, well... Stan and Wendy's?"
"...We can't do that, it's mean, really mean." She sighed, but I saw a flicker of hope in her eye.
"Not if we didn't know she was having the party in the first place." I continued. "Kyle told me, not them, and if we weren't invited then how were we supposed to know it was their idea first, we're hardly in the wrong."
"Yeah but..." She tried to give a comeback but trailed off hopelessly.
"We can invite them to ours as well." I suggested. "That way we're not being mean, at least we're not leaving them out of our party."
"...Ok, ok, whatever let's do it." She gave in and raised her hands in defeat so I grabbed them and wrapped my fingers around hers.
"Good, I'll take care of everything, don't you worry." I told her and kissed her quickly on the lips. The phone then began to ring and she turned her head to look at it.
"Can you take care of that too?" She asked as she turned back to making lunch and I took the phone off the hook.

"Hello?" I answered and clicked speakerphone so Red could hear.
"Hello, who is this?" The woman on the other end of the line asked and I frowned.
"Why are you asking me? You called this number." I replied and looked at Red.
"Oh yes sorry, this is Hells Pass Hospital." The woman explained and I saw Red bite her lip. We always got worried when something concerned the hospital, we stressed it would be something to do with them finding out about my past death records.
"Um... Ok, why are you calling please?" I gulped.
"Oh, we were calling to ask if you are a relative or friend of Wendy Marsh, was Testaburger." The woman inquired.
"Neither." Red raised her voice.
"We're a friend... I guess..." I interjected and Red raised her eyebrows at me.
"Oh, you see that's what we were wondering." The woman continued. "Because we sent a group message to everyone in her contacts but one... Because the name of your contact was 'I hate you', so we didn't know whether this was actually a number."
"Great..." I droned and then clicked on. "Wait, how come Wendy's phone is in the hospital? What's going on?"
"Oh gosh sorry yes." The woman sniffed and I rolled my eyes. "I'm afraid to tell you that both Stan and Wendy have been in a car accident. They are both in hospital, Wendy is in a better condition than Stan but I think it is safe to say that both will be alright with time."
"Woah, Stan and Wendy were in a car accident?" I questioned, suddenly panicking.
"Yes, if I could just take your names please." The woman asked.
"Kenneth and Rebecca McCormick." I told her and I heard a silence on the end of the line.
"Wow, McCormick?" She gasped. "You don't happen to be the parents of the 'Mini Mermaids' do you?"
"Yeah, daddy mermaid and mommy mermaid." I droned. "Can we come to the hospital?"
"Only if you bring the kids." The woman demanded and I saw Red's eyes widen in shock. "I'm joking... Kind of."
"Ok, we'll be there soon, bye." I hung up quickly and stared at Red.
"Well..." She sighed and grabbed her coat.
"Are we going now?" I frowned as she turned off the stove.
"Yeah, this is serious Kenny." She cried. "Scarlett, Ruby!"
"We're actually taking the kids?" I asked.
"Who else, is going to look after them?" Red replied, she had a point, both our parents lived out of town, we normally had to hire a babysitter or get Bebe to do it. No doubt she would be at the hospital though...

We arrived at Hells Pass in five minutes, loaded the girls out of the car in their red duffel coats and entered through the automatic doors.
"Hi we're here to see Wendy and Stan Marsh?" I told the receptionist and she checked her file.
"Are you a close relative?" She asked.
"Erm, no we're... Close friends..." I lied but she still shook her head.
"You'll have to wait in the waiting room for a while." She pointed to a circle of chairs and stack of magazines on a coffee table. There sat Stan's parents, four weepy children and Hope, who compared the the rest of her family, actually looked happier than ever. Weird, they were close relatives, why weren't they up there?
"Oh wow." I heard the receptionist gasp. "Scarlett and Ruby McCormick?"
"Yeah." Scarlett mumbled from under her coat.
"Oh My God, it's the Mini Mermaids!" Another nurse exclaimed and I rolled my eyes at Red.
"Wow, seeing as you guys are VIP, you can go and see your patients right now if you want?" The receptionist exclaimed.
"...Nah, that's ok, we can wait." I sighed and walked towards the waiting room.
"We'll give you an autograph later or whatever..." Red smiled sarcastically and we went and sat opposite the Marsh family in the waiting room. Everyone was crying but Hope, so I thought she might be the best bet.
"Hi Hope, how you holding up?" I asked sympathetically and she pulled her earphones out when she saw me.
"What?" She yelled.
"I said, how are you?" I repeated and she beamed at me.
"Oh I'm excellent, better than ever." Hope grinned and I nodded my head slowly.
"Oh... Good..." I marvelled.
"Why aren't you guys allowed up?" I continued and Sharon, Stan's mom looked at me.
"We were allowed, until someone blew their nose on the nurse's apron and lit a cigarette in the receptionists face." Sharon explained, shooting a glance at Hope.
"Oh... Right." I murmured and Hope looked happier than anything.
"Aren't Bebe and Kyle here yet?" Red piped up. "Or Wendy's parents?"
"Wendy's parents are in Alabama and Bebe and Kyle were at some pregnancy class thing." Randy shrugged, chewing on a lollipop stick.
"Alabama?" I frowned.
"Holiday." Sharon replied and then burst into tears. "They just don't know what's happened!" She cried and Randy then began to cry as well, which was weird as he was never the sort of person to show an emotional side.
"Oh God, ok..." I looked at Red and then Hope in desperation but Hope just continued to smile at me like some sort of possessed doll.

Hannah and Harvey were also in tears, Belle looked extremely squashed on Sharon's lap and Harry was staring at Scarlett and Ruby intently, clearly not aware of what was going on.
"Milk!" Harry screamed suddenly, tearing his eyes away from our children.
"Milk!"
"No Harry, not now." Red tried to calm him. A boy walked behind Hope and then put his hands over her eyes. She jumped up, pulling her earphones out of the socket on her phone and began kissing him. The heavy metal music began blaring out around the hospital along with the crying and screaming and within seconds, the waiting room at Hells Pass was drowned in noise...