HOPEFUL DREAMS & HIDDEN DESIRES
Hi guys! :)
Chapter 8 is here! I decided to upload it today, as I will be too busy to do it both sunday and monday, and I didn't want to lave you hanging til tuesday with the cliffhanger from chapter 7.
Thank you for your lovely reviews and words of encouragement. Even 7 chapters in, they still mean the world to me.
Anyway I'm not going to bore you with a long intro for this chapter ;) I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's or any of the characters - they all belong to the lovely Shonda Rhimes and ABC. I'm just toying with them for fun with no intentions of profiting.
Happy reading.
CHAPTER 8:
Arizona shifted her focus from the Latina to the magazine cover and back again while she opened and closed her mouth. She was sure she looked like a fish out of water. She saw Teddy, Miranda and Mark start to make their way over.
"Callie, please…" the blonde started but was cut off by her friend before she had the chance to finish.
"Don't Arizona. Just don't! You assured me that you and he were just friends. And stupidly I believed you. Then I woke up to this coverstory today! You LIED to me" Callie said while she looked at Arizona with a fire in her brown eyes that the blonde had never seen before. And she didn't like it.
"No. Callie please, I didn't lie to you. Nothing happened. We just…" but this time Arizona was cut off by Mark who'd reached the duo.
"What's going on Cal?" Mark asked with a gentle voice. The Latina didn't answer him but just picked up the magazine and threw it roughly at Mark.
The man's eyes almost bugged out of his head as he looked at the cover. Then he looked to Arizona and then to Callie "Fuck!"
The brunette chuckled hollowly "Yeah, you got that right!" Then Callie turned on her heal and marched towards the exit. Arizona had no idea how to make things right with her friend, but in that second she knew without a doubt that for now it would be best to just leave the fuming brunette alone. The blonde turned her attention to Mark.
"You promised me, you'd talk to her! When were you planning on doing that?" Arizona angrily spit at the man.
"Hey this is not on me. You were the one who chickened out and didn't tell her, that we were having dinner! It's been like a week or something it's not like you haven't had the chance to tell her multiple times" Mark said as he pointed his index finger at the blonde.
Arizona pinched the bridge of her nose. She could feel a headache coming fast. But before she could process any further, the director asked that the actors rounded up and prepared themselves to shoot again. They didn't even get the chance to start though, before the door to the set opened once again. This time a delivery man entered carrying the biggest and most beautiful bouquet of lavender calla lilies that Arizona had ever seen.
"Excuse me. I was told it was okay to enter. I'm looking for Teddy Altman. It was demanded I didn't leave the flowers with anyone but her" the man said as he looked straight at the honey-blonde already knowing that he found her.
Teddy made her way to the guy. She signed off for the flowers and took the bouquet from him.
Arizona, Mark and Miranda looked while the other woman carefully extracted a large card from the enormous amount of flowers. She put the bouquet down on a table off to the side and opened the card with a bit of shake to her hands. Arizona watched the tears gather and eventually slip from green eyes as Teddy made her way through the words on the card. She then closed the card and sniffled a little as she traced her fingers over the pedals on one of the flowers.
Arizona looked at Mark and Miranda who both signaled for her to go to their friend. "Teddy?" Arizona let out when she approached the honey-blonde. Teddy didn't answer but just held out the card for Arizona to take.
Arizona carefully opened the card. With very neat and very distinct handwriting stood:
Dear Teddy.
The saying that you don't know what you have until its gone have never been truer to me.
I miss you with every single breath I take, and my life will never be the same.
I know calla lilies are your favorite flower and I find a sense of comfort, and dare I say hope, in knowing they symbolize the overcoming of challenges – and this has got to be the biggest challenge of my life so far. Living without you. I really hope that we'll find our way back to each other and overcome this challenge together rather than apart.
Lavender calla lilies in particular symbolize grace and elegance and convey refined and feminine beauty to the recipient – and I'm certain that they've never met a better fit. Because you my love are the most beautiful woman to ever walk this planet. It doesn't matter if you're sick, just woken up, lounging around at home in your sweats or dressed to the nines in a gala gown – you are always the most gorgeous creature in this world to me and you are always all I see.
I know I've messed this up, but I beg of you; please agree to meet with me. We can do dinner or meet at home or at the studio. Or I'll come to Arizona's place, I don't care. Just please say yes. Please talk to me, Teddy. I adore you!
With love always, your Addi
Arizona handed the card back to Teddy. "What are you going to do?"
Teddy shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I mean we want different…"
The blonde had had enough of this day. Her anger was rising once again. First off she got angrier by the second at the Latina who didn't even give her a chance to explain but instantly jumped to the worst conclusion. And secondly she was sick and tired of listening to her friend's excuses. So she cut Teddy of mid-sentence.
"OH MY GOD! If you tell me one more time, that you want different things, then I'm going to strangle you. Have you even talked to her long enough to really establish that as a fact, Teddy? Because I have to say, that I think you are WRONG! And I think she's trying to prove that to you with those extremely beautiful flowers, these kind and loving words and the insane amount of texts and voicemails that you haven't even bothered to read or listen to. Talk to her and sort this mess out for Christ sake" the blonde fired at her friend who just stared back at her with wide eyes.
"Arizona what the hell?! Rude much?" Teddy spit back.
Arizona just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Put down the card and let's get this freaking scene over with."
Arizona had been hammering on the door to Callie's trailer for five minutes. She knew the brunette was in there because she'd seen her go in there herself.
"Open this door right now Callie Torres! You owe me that. Strolling on to the set like that accusing me of all sorts of things and calling me a bitch is NOT okay" the blonde shouted as she kept banging on the door.
"You ARE going to open this door and you are going to do it NOW. You need to let me explain. I get that you're mad but that does not excuse your behavior!" the blonde continued as her hand got a little numb from the continuous hammering.
Inside the trailer the still very angry Latina tried to ignore the tantrum that the blonde seemed to be throwing right outside her trailer while knocking incisively at the door.
Callie had to hand it to the blonde, she was persistent for sure. The banging on her door had been going on for fifteen minutes now, all the while Arizona continued to yell at Callie, what she thought of the brunette's behavior earlier. She continued to make it clear that she understood Callie was mad, but that she herself had every bit as much right to be mad as well with the stunt the Latina pulled on set previously that day. A statement Callie didn't agree with though.
Arizona had gone to dinner with Mark without telling her about it. That was so not okay. The brunette had JUST told Arizona all of her insecurities regarding the budding friendship or relationship or whatever was building between the blonde and Mark, and Arizona had just disregarded that and secretely gone out with Mark anyway. That hurt Callie more than she cared to admit.
But the more the Latina thought about it the more she discovered that it wasn't really the thought of Mark making a move on Arizona that bothered her. It was the thought of Arizona making a move on Mark. Callie had no idea what to do with that discovery. She supposed it meant that she was more hurt by her blonde friend betraying her than Mark potentially moving on. The mere thought of Arizona leaning in with her pink lips to plant them on Marks, made the brunettes stomach turn and she felt like she was about to throw up. Callie knew the thought was irrational because if the two of them had kissed, then surely THAT would have been on the cover of the magazine. But the brunette couldn't help but doubt it anyway. What if the photographer just didn't catch that moment?
Arizona stopped her intensive knocking at last and placed her palm flat against the door. This time the shouting was replaced with a soft voice. "Please open the door Callie. I…" the blonde sighed "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about dinner with Mark. I should have, and you have every right to feel hurt. But I wasn't trying to hide anything from you. Actually I would have told you at lunch last Friday, but then you cancelled. But that's not the point. The point is that I'm truly sorry Callie. I swear that nothing is going on between me and Mark. Even if I was attracted to him, which I'm not by the way, then I would NEVER do that to you. I really treasure our friendship and you are SO important to me. Please believe me. I'm going to leave you alone now. But please call or text me. Please." Arizona confessed defeat and turned around to leave.
When she did that, she was met with what seemed to be a slightly amused Addison. A spark seemed to be back in the red heads eyes and the blonde had a feeling that Teddy might have listened to her slightly offensive ranting earlier. "Addison! Hi. I didn't even know you were at the studio today" Arizona smiled.
"I wasn't. But Teddy called me and asked me to meet her at her trailer. Thank you by the way. She mentioned that you've kind of scolded her today." Addison smiled at the blonde.
The smile faded however when Arizona directed her frustration at Addison. The blonde's feelings were all over the place. "Don't thank me. You two are ridiculous. How hard can it be to just get it together and talk it out! It seems that everyone's favorite way to deal with things around here is to just clamb up and hope that the rest of us are mind readers. Jesus Christ it's like kinder garden and you and Teddy set THE worst example ever. Don't thank me for scolding her because that will only get me started on you and trust me, you don't want that!" Arizona stated with a glare at Addison.
"Woah Arizona, calm down. I'm sorry if I said anything wrong. I just wanted you to know that I'm grateful. And believe me I KNOW that both Teddy and I handled this very wrong. And I'm sorry. Because it affected my work not even two weeks after I stood in front of the entire press corps promising that my relationship with Teddy wouldn't have consequences for my work or the employees on this show. And I owe all of you a huge apology for that. But I have a feeling that your frustration isn't centered on me and Teddy" Addison deadpanned as she looked past Arizona and at the door of the trailer of one Callie Torres.
"What's happening here? Why were you talking to Callie's door and not Callie?" the red head asked.
Arizona sighed and looked at the ground. "I was an idiot. I went to dinner with Mark, just dinner not a date or anything, without telling her, and Mark and I ended up on the front cover of 'Gossip' while hugging outside the restaurant. And now Callie is very rightfully pissed. But I think that I have the right to be kind of pissed too, because she marched right on to the set and called me a backstabbing bitch and whatnot without even hearing my side of the story. Which she STILL refuses to hear by the way hence me standing here and trying to break down her door with my fist" the blonde finished and looked back up at Addison "Maybe you'll have more luck with getting her to open up."
"Oh I wasn't coming to talk to her. But I could hear you shouting from across the trailer park and I had to see what it was all about. Can't have my stars going crazy on set" Addison chuckled. "But now that I know you're not too crazy, I'm going to go talk to Teddy. Good luck calming the Latina temper. It's my experience that giving her some space works best from time to time, and maybe this is one of those times." The red head reached out and squeezed Arizona's shoulder before walking away. Arizona glanced at Callie's trailer door one more time before leaving the area.
Later that night Arizona sat at her sofa with a glass of wine. The TV was on, but the blonde couldn't tell what it was tuned in on even if her life depended on it. Her thoughts were in an entirely different place. Her Latina friend, if they were in fact still friends, had avoided her like the plague for rest of the day. And Arizona missed her. Like truly, truly missed her. She couldn't remember a time she had ever missed another person this much. It's like the brunette had secretly snuck her way in as an essential part of the blonde's well-being and Arizona hadn't even noticed until Callie wasn't there anymore. And it had only been a day.
Arizona felt a single tear make its way down her cheek. The anger she'd felt at first by the Latina's complete dismissal of listening to the blonde's side of the story had now been replaced with sadness and self-loathing. How stupid was she to think she could have dinner with Mark, who was currently going through the most famous and media-covered divorce in the entertainment-business, without it reaching the press. She should have told Callie about the dinner right away, and the brunette had every right to be hurt and angry because she didn't. Still Arizona whished the brunette would just let her explain and apologize properly.
The blonde's phone let out a ding notifying her that she had a new text message. She launched forward getting it from the coffee table hoping it was from the Latina. She couldn't help but be a little disappointed when Teddy's name appeared on the screen.
*Even though I can't say I liked bitchy Arizona, I'm immensely grateful to call you my friend :) Thank you for telling me what kind of an ass I was. I'm at home with Addison and I'm going to stay here tonight ;) I'll come by to get my things after work tomorrow. And one night soon you and I are going out for dinner and drinks on me, because you are AWESOME! Love you loads :* - T.
Arizona couldn't help but smile at the text. The two of them had become really close while the honey-blonde woman crashed in Arizona's guest room.
*You're welcome Teddy. It was nothing, really. I just gave you a much needed push in the right direction ;) I am kind of sorry that I did it in such a harsh way though :/ But I'm assuming this means that you guys worked it out. Can't wait to hear all about it. I'm happy for you :) Love you too, you stubborn goose - A.
Arizona placed her phone back on the coffee table and picked her wine back up. She twirled the wine around in her glass and let her thoughts wonder back to Callie. The blonde had never before experienced a connection and instant mutual understanding like that with anyone before. Something about the brunette continued to fascinate Arizona and it was like the brunette just understood her from the very beginning. Not even in her previous romantic relationships had Arizona experienced a closeness and connection like the one she had very quickly felt with the Latina.
Arizona sighed and drank the rest of her wine. She needed to do something. She needed to prove to Callie somehow that she was in fact very important to her. With that Arizona went to bed.
Today was the first table read since the brunette had found out about Arizona and Mark's dinner, and Callie had dreaded it. She had successfully avoided being in the same room as Arizona for the past week. It had been very difficult but luckily they hadn't had any scenes together and their make-up schedules hadn't clashed and thereby forced the brunette to stay in a room with the blonde. But Callie missed her friend. Sure she had Addison, but something about her friendship with the blonde was different. Callie couldn't pinpoint how, she just had a different feeling of calmness in her when she hung out with Arizona.
Callie entered the conference room and found a steaming cup of coffee waiting at her place at the table. Next to it was a small container of cut out mango, her favorite fruit, and half a bagel with peanut butter and apple slices.
The brunette sat down. She had a feeling, who'd brought the treats, but her suspected provider were nowhere to be seen. Callie took a sip of the coffee and started eating the bagel. Only two people in this place knew about her love for bagels with peanut butter and apple slices.
Addison and Teddy entered hand in hand and Addison placed a very passionate kiss on Teddy's eager lips as they reached the honey-blonde's chair at the table. The red head had always been somewhat reluctant to show too much TLC in public, but only a couple of the cast and crew members had arrived yet. Callie was very happy for her friends that they had worked out their differences, which hadn't really been differences after all. Addison had told Callie that they'd agreed that they both wanted kids, with each other, in the foreseeable future. The red head had also told Callie all about how Arizona had gone off at Teddy and practically bullied the honey-blonde to talk to Addison.
Then Arizona entered. She paused at the door for a second and smiled at Teddy, Addison, Meredith and Tony the sound guy, who were already there. Then she smiled at Callie who gave a somewhat forced smile back to the blonde.
Arizona put down her own coffee at the table and sat down in her chair. She chanced a look at the Latina next to her and was happy to see, that she drank and ate the gifts the blonde had brought her. Callie discovered Arizona eyeing her.
"Thank you. For the coffee and the food. That was really thoughtful of you." Callie said and gave the blonde a more genuine smile. "I didn't think you remembered that I told you about my love for bagels with peanut butter and apple slices. I mean it was kind of late at the season premier party."
Arizona smiled back at the brunette. "I remember everything about you, Callie. Because you are important to me. In fact of all the people here, you are the most important to me" the blonde truthfully stated.
"Callie, I am SO sorry for not telling you about my dinner with Mark. But to be fair he kind of promised me to talk to you about your worries with him and me. Because like I said before; NOTHING is going on between him and me."
"Wait, you told Mark what I told you?" the Latina asked the woman sitting next to her.
Arizona closed her eyes for just a second before opening them again and looking straight at Callie. The Latina's deep chocolate brown eyes drew in the blonde and she had to shake her head to get her focus back. "I did. I'm sorry, but I kind of had to explain it all to him. And by the way he's not attracted to me either. He just really needs a friend. He's lonely Callie."
The brunette toyed with the disposable fork for the mango pieces and sighed. "It's fine. I suppose he would have found out anyway. I mean I would've had to talk to him about it some time anyway." The Latina looked up at Arizona. "If nothing is going on, then what about the picture?"
Arizona smiled at Callie. "That's just two people thanking each other for a really fun evening. I promise you, scouts honor and everything, that NOTHING has, nor will it ever, happened between Mark and I. And I'm so sorry, that I was an idiot and didn't tell you about the dinner, because looking back I would have jumped to the same conclusions, you did if it had been the other way around. But I really really miss my 'Heart and Hospital' BFF and I would very much like her back. I'll do anything. I'll stop hanging out with Mark if you want me to. I'll even add you to my phone calendar so you can keep track on me at all times."
Callie couldn't help but laugh at that. "Okay maybe you're taking it a bit too far. There's no need for that. And there's no need for you to stop hanging out with Mark. You're allowed to have other friends. I'll trust you. And I've missed you too. I've become sort of addicted to you and your company, it's quite disturbing."
Arizona couldn't help but send Callie a dimpled grin. "I'm glad to hear that. Because I've become sort of addicted to you and your company too. So we're good?"
"We're good" Callie replied and started eating her mango pieces "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't bring me table read goodies some other time to suck up to me."
It had been two weeks since Arizona fixed her friendship with Callie and the two of them were back on normal terms. Tonight the two of them had decided to bring back wine night, this time at the brunette's home. She lived in a gorgeous two story house, and Arizona had spent a lot of time admiring the décor of the house. Sure the brunette had a darker and more edgy style than the blonde, but the house still felt very homey to Arizona.
In the living room the Latina had a whole wall filled with photos in various sized frames. Some had pictures of her friends; Arizona recognized Erica Hahn, Addison and Mark, but some were clearly from older times, showing a much younger Callie at high school, Juilliard or some Broadway production. The majority of them featured her close family though; her three sisters and her parents. Arizona had learned that Callie was the eldest by five years. Aria, the second Torres-sister, had graduated business school last year and now worked for their father in his hotel-company. The third Torres-sister Jael had lived up to her name, which meant 'wild as a mountain goat', and gone her own ways. She'd struggled finding out what to do with her life and had partied a lot. Now however, at 22, she studied art history in Miami. It was clear, that Callie was very proud of her sister for finally taking charge of her life and deciding to do something with it. The youngest sister, Rei, was 14 and attended the same private junior high that her older sisters had all gone to. Obviously Rei still lived at home with their parents, and both Aria and Jael lived very close by. It was clear to the blonde that the Latina missed her family and her sisters a lot and Arizona could definitely relate to that. She missed Tim and her parents terribly every day.
"…I just never had the urge to follow my mom or dad, you know. I mean it's great that Aria wanted to, but I couldn't picture myself being a lawyer or some big shot CEO of an international hotel chain." Callie said as she sipped her wine.
"I can totally relate to that. Like I've told you before it was kind of given that I would just stay put in Georgia and marry my high school sweetheart Scott and have babies while I worked at either my mom's diner or in my dad's carpentry business. But I dreamed of something other than that." Arizona said as she finished off her wine and put the glass down.
"Carpentry business, huh? Did you help your dad out a lot before you left for U of M? Is that where all of your muscles come from?" Callie teased with a hint of seriousness.
The blonde laughed. "Yeah, I guess it is. Partially anyway. I really enjoyed building things from scratch back then. A lot of the boys in town really hated, thar I did that. They found it to be too masculine for their liking. No girlfriend of theirs should know how to wield a hammer. Luckily a couple of them were different though. They knew how to appreciate the beauty in the things I build for them" Arizona said as she fished out her phone from her jeans pocket. "Wow it's gotten really late," she found when she looked at the device. "I should get home I have to be at the studio by 6 am tomorrow."
Callie looked at the blonde for a second before saying "why don't you just stay here? I have to be there at 6 am as well, so you're not causing me to get up early or anything. And this way you don't have to drive all the way across town to your apartment. You could spend that time sleeping. In a very comfortable guest bed I might add."
Arizona thought about it for a second. There wasn't really any reason for her to go home. She had everything she needed for work tomorrow. Except maybe a change of clothes, but she could just grab that from her trailer first thing. "Sure. I'd like that. If you're positive it's not an inconvenience to you?"
"Great. And not at all. I'm just going to get you some clothes to sleep in. It might be a little big for you, but it should work for just one night" Callie smiled at Arizona and made her way to her bedroom. She reappeared five minutes later with an armful of clothes.
Arizona stood from her seat at the couch and took the clothes from Callie's arms. She noticed the brunette had changed into her own night wear. She wore a mint colored pair of satin sleep shorts with a matching top. The color of the satin made the Latina's caramel skin glow and Arizona couldn't help but reach out and run her hand down the brunette's arm. Both women were slightly surprised by the blonde's gesture but none of them commented on it.
"So" Callie cleared her throat "you're good? There are fresh towels and a toothbrush under the sink. Just come let me know if you need anything else" the brunette sent a bright smile Arizona's way.
Arizona looked the brunette in the eyes and once again found herself drowning in the brown orbs of her friend. She then stepped forward and hugged the Latina with her free arm. "Thank you for tonight Callie. It was really great and I had a lot of fun" the blonde said as she inhaled the scent of the brunette. She couldn't help but notice that she smelled really good. Like sunshine and roses.
Callie was kind of surprised and confused by the blonde's behavior, but never the less she hugged her back tightly. "Thank you Arizona. I really enjoyed it as well. Sleep tight and I'll see you bright and early tomorrow."
The brunette eased out of the hug and made her way to the bedroom with one last smile at Arizona. When Callie had closed the door behind her, Arizona made her way down the hall to the guest bedroom. She couldn't help but smell the clothes in her arms. Yep, sunshine and roses.
Chapter 8 is over :) It seems that Arizona is really discovering Callie's importance in her life.
As always, let me know what you think about this chapter.
Lots of love /Julie
