Ch.8: Memeingful Delights
"Father, how?" Jesus asked when Jojo left.
God merely laughed. "Did you actually doubt him?"
"N-no, but these results are impossible. He's learning at an exponential rate."
"We discovered that his Hamon breathing was inherited, not forced, so that may result in his ability to master it quickly."
"That is very impressive, yet you do not see the problem, Father?"
"I see no problem."
"He does not have a SINGLE friend. Not one. He prefers to practice his technique in his room all day."
"Hm, know that you mention it, it is a problem." He turned around. "In any case, that is his affairs, not ours. Let him solve that."
"But-"
"No 'Buts', I said what's final." He wrapped his arm around his son. "Now, let us see what our angel is up to."
"Kid, you sure you can handle this?"
Jojo was huffing and in pain. "Yeah, I can do this all day."
"Look man, I used PSI on you, and you're already tired. I can tell that you improved your strength by a lot though."
"Thanks *Huff* , but compliments will get you nowhere with me."
"Look, let's stop. What you need to do is to learn PSI and some magic."
"Wait hol up, I can learn that?"
"Oh, of course. Everyone has at least some ability to develop one. Heck, you can even develop your own moves if you learn well enough." Jojo ran out of there as fast as he could when he heard that. "Um, practice wasn't over, dude." The instructor said as Jojo abandoned him.
"Well," God said as he peered in to the ball. "It looks like he's heading here, no? Don't say anything till I say so, okay?"
"Okay, Father."
"GODWHYDIDN'TYOUTELLMETHATMAGICANDPSICANBELEARNEDBYORDINARYPEOPLE?"
"Well, that was certainly quick."
"WELL? TELLMETELLMETELLMETELLME!"
"Calm down child." God swung his finger in front of Jojo. "You cannot do that any more. You will give the reader a headache. Now, breathe and relax."
"Okay, okay. I just. That's so damn cool! Like telekinesis, and stuff, I dunno. Powers like Magento just attracts me."
"Did-did you just make a pun?"
"I don't know, did I?" Jojo asked with a smug grin.
"N-never mind. Anyway, from what I understood, is that you didn't know people can learn magic, correct?" Jojo nodded. "Well, you're in luck then, since you can learn that and-"
"Might beneficial for my mission, yes I know, you say that to everything I want to learn."
"Oh, you know."
"Yeah, well every time you say that, it delays time and the readers don't have all the time in the world."
"Well, yeah."
"Now, come on, where do I go learn the magiks and shtuff?"
God snapped his fingers and Jesus sighed. "Here, I have a map to the classroom, and look, here's a list of facilities we have up here so you stop bothering us."
Jojo's expression turned dark. "So I'm bothering ya, eh?"
"Well, you visit us every day," God stressed this last part. "Make friends."
"I don't need friends, I don't get along well with people." Jojo took the map and list, and he left the castle. "Hmph, they're people too, so it's not like they'll act any different from them." He looked at his map. "Now then, where's that damn room."
It's been a couple of months now in Heaven, but thanks to God's Stand, it's been about 5 real world minutes. Yes, quite bizarre, no? Our hero hasn't even gotten a clue as to what his mission could possibly be. "He's close to the being ready."
"Father, you watch that child intently."
"I do. I fear that I do not have the power to do the mission myself, so I will send him."
"Will you at least tell him what the mission is?"
"Later. For now, just watch him."
Jojo was getting stronger. He lost a lot of fat, gained a lot of new abilities, and enjoyed his time staying, but he still doesn't have a lot friends. "Control your chi." He repeated. "Control it." He was making an energy ball and concentrating on keeping it controlled. The feeling, the exertion of energy flowing, his mind focus on one thing. Then, he let it all out, and the energy dissipated.
"Good form, Justin." said the instructor. "You have control over your chi. You passed your test."
"Thank you."
His next class trained his PSI and ESP. When he first took the class, he was confused as how someone can learn psychic powers. Then he found out that it just like magic and, like chi, the body can be made to produce it. So after doing a variety of research, Jojo gained psychic powers. Odd, psychic powers is just magic. "PK Flash."
"Congrats kid, you passed the exam."
"Grassy ass, Señor."
Next was combat, and boy, was he raring to go.
"Hah! You think you improved, kid?"
"Yeah, and I think I can kick your ass now."
"Well, well, well quite cocky aren't we?" The instructor said whlie grabbing a tome.
"Yeah, I learned PSI and Chi energy, and unlike your tome magic, my PSI is my own power."
"Well then, choose a blade and come at me."
He passed...
"You got guts kid, you improved quickly and learned faster."
"Arigatōgozaimasu."
"You know, I don't know why you say thank you like that, but I'm not going to question it.
"Hey, prof., I got a question. Why do we need an army in heaven?"
"Well, we fight demons and we need to be prepared to fight, so yeah. Satan can't control everyone, you know."
"Ah. Also, is it me or do the sword we used a little unbalanced?"
"What? Unbalanced? That's ridiculous, they feel perfect."
"Hm," Jojo hummed as he looked at his list of facilities. "Hey, we can make our own personal weapons here, correct?"
"Yeah, I got my own in my office."
"So I can make one too?"
"I guess."
Jojo's face lit up."Gotcha, later prof.!" And Jojo left his professor to go to the forgery. When he got there, he saw the blacksmith working his magic there.
"Hello!" said the blacksmith. "Welcome, what can I do ya fer?"
"Well I want a personal weapon, but I want to make it myself."
The blacksmith looked at Jojo and laughed. "Ya serious kid? Not everyone is made for smithin'."
"I can watch you, research some materials, and learn. *Snap* Like that, watch."
"A'ight."
So Jojo watched as the man heated up the iron, pounded it and made it into shape then shocked it with water. "Amazing. It seems so easy, yet it takes skill to do that." He watched for days, studied what materials to make his blade, experimented with alloys, searched for materials, until he was ready.
"Hey, I'm making my sword today, Smithy."
"Ain't that right?"
"Yep." He took out his materials. "I spent days in my room making an alloy that works well with my Hamon, heavy, yet flexible and I discovered an add-on for it to make it easier to stab." He pulled out a hunk of metal. "This is the alloy I discovered. It is a Titanium-Platinum blend that will make the blade a bit heavier, but I need that since it would not feel balanced either way."
"Um, I don't think it will be very stable and a little too heavy."
"I found a way to fix that." Jojo took out chunks of diamonds, and other minerals. "The pommel will be made with this here emerald, while the tip will be a Briolette cut peridot, and the blade will be studded with diamonds."
"Yo-you're making a sword with jewelry?"
"No, I am doing this for a reason. The emerald will balance the blade. The peridot will be for holding the tip, which will be a mix of the alloy with a diamond cover or gloss. The diamonds will be for stabbing, as it is the strongest minerals on earth. Since the ones infused in the blade will be rough, it will be a great tool for stabbing and slashing."
"You planned this out very well."
"The diamonds will also take up surface area and causes the blade to weigh lighter, since space will be covered by diamonds, not the alloy."
"Well then, the forge is yours to use then. I'll watch you." said the blacksmith.
And Jojo got to work. Used the bellows to heat his flame making sure it was hot enough to smelt his alloy. He hammered his weapon making sure it was perfect. He was focused on his work, and the smithy watched in pure amazement. The handle was made perfectly for Jojo's hands. The emerald cackled on the burning metal as the pommel was finished.
"Hey, Justin, how are ya gonna put the diamonds and stuff on both sides?"
"Like this." As the half finished blade floated in mid-air, held by Jojo's powerful PSI. He put the minerals carefully on his blade, making sure everything was stable. He shocked the blade with freezing water, letting a sigh of relief as the sword sizzled, calming down the heat it had but only seconds ago. "I did it. I made a sword. "
"That was impressive." said the blacksmith with his mouth open. "You only watched me for a couple of days and are better than my old apprentice when he first got here. How did you get the idea to use diamonds in the blade?"
"I studied jewelry, like last week. I made a ring and I was like 'Hey, minerals can work, right?'"
"Huh, interesting."
"Yeah, well all my blade needs now is a grip and a name." He took the blade. "Well, I gotta go, later Smithy."
"Yeah, see ya."
"Hey, guys!" Jojo shouted out. "Guys?" Jojo looked around. Not a soul was there. His sword was wrapped around a cloth, in his arms. Hey continued to walk around with a sense of curiosity. "Wonder what that God has around here." He snooped around. He saw important files and picked up the first one. He began reading the file, it was about someone he didn't know. Suddenly, he heard a noise from the door. He set the file down and waited by the desk. "Waddup?" He said as he picked up the cloth covered sword.
"You're here already?" asked God. "Well, I mean, I knew you were coming, but you're so early."
"Well, I felt that the other swords were a bit light on the blade part and heavier on the hilt, so I made a blade for me. I thought I should explain why I was gone for weeks without visiting."
"Do we have to explain the concept of being a god to you? We know what you did and where you were." said Jesus. "Though I fear some readers may not understand why you made a blade."
"I'll explain that, but first I need to finish the sword." Jojo took the cloth off, and set the blade down. "I need a good grip for it. Any ideas folks?"
"Dragon skin. Best grip, with a nice look." said God.
"Hm, any idea where I can skin a dragon?"
"You could kill one, but let's wait for that. I have some makeshift skin, I'll have Mary send it to your room."
"Great, now I just need a scabbard."
"When you go to you mission, I grant you one." He looked around and found a file. "Hm…" He read it profoundly and amazed. "My word! You have considerably been training haven't you?" God chuckled. "My my, you have been a busy bee. You deserve a reward, so as much as you have been waiting. I'll give you a reward of astounding proportions, though the readers might know what the mission is."
"Just tell me, Father!" Jesus was anxious to find out. "I need to know."
"I also might need to know, as it is MY mission."
"You sound so interested."
"Well, you did forcefully drag me here."
"You died, and I had knowledge of it. I had nothing to do with it though."
"Interesting. Father, you really had nothing to do with that?"
"Yeah," God scratched his white beard. "Anyway I should tell you about that mission. And, wooo, is it a good one." He pulled out a white board.
"How remarkable, he pulled that out of nowhere! I feel like we need to fix that fourth wall." Jojo remarked.
"We really do, but we don't have the budget for that." said Jesus. "Wait…" Jesus looked at his father.
"Hold on…" said God. He stared back.
"Father… d-did he?"
"I believe he did." The two men turned around and began chatting.
"What?" asked Jojo. "Did I say something not funny?"
"Jojo," God looked at Jojo intensely. "Um, do you realize what you just did?"
"Uh, nothing out of the ordinary."
"Jojo, heh, you broke the Fourth Wall."
"Oh, that? Yeah, I did that. I could for a while now."
"W-what?!" Jesus was shocked by this. "Father, I-"
God held a hand in front of his son. "No, I'll handle this. Jojo how did you learn this?"
"Uh, first off, you're calling me Jojo not Justin. Secondly, I learned this after you guys first did it about, er, 4 chapters ago? I can't remember, but I did learn it."
"You mean the chapter we met you in?! You must know what your mission is now!" God was pretty much livid. "Okay, okay." He threw the whiteboard out. "Let me give you the basic idea on what your mission is." The God scratched his head. "Hm, where to start? Ah! Okay, so your world is a type of dimension that is different from the three dimensions that already exist. This type of dimension doesn't define planes in space, but a universe that is unique to itself."
"So there are alternate universes?"
"Yes, and no. Your world has alts., but the world I'm describing is in no way related to yours."
"So it's a new universe different from mine?"
"Precisely. You actually might know of this universe. It is a realm with the countries Valla, Hoshido, and Nohr."
"Valla, Hoshi- Wait a minute. That's a from a video game." Jojo said with a bored expression. "What is this? I'm not a child. I know more than I should, so if you're just-"
God held up his hands in defense. "I know, I know, but let me explain. Your universe lives in harmony with these dimensions. The multi-verse has many factors, but you're living in this universe, so it just works."
"Okay, but in other universes, I die in that accident, right?"
"Yes, in a sense, but no at the same time."
"Okay? Well then, what about this realm? Heaven and Hell? What of it?"
"This is known as the Parent Universe. It won't change and only one exists."
"Well then, what about Purgatory?"
"Th-that's a weird place where not even I know the true reason for it existing. But yes, only one exists. I don't control it, so I don't really know, but it is a different dimension living with this one."
"Okay, just wanted to clear that up. So what am I gonna do in 'Valla'?" He put air quotation marks when he said Valla.
"Ah, yes," continued God. "Well, in your universe, Anakos will destroy his realm as well as yours."
"Wait, you just called it a 'realm', instead of calling them dimensions and confusing the reader, let's just call 'em 'Realms'. Okay? Here's the deal: Universes are the ones where multiple dimensions are. So let's say I die in one and I die in another and there's infinite amount of that. Dimensions are alternate realities in the same realm. So parallel worlds and such, so a world where fictional characters exist and another where only plants are ever exist. And realms are the separate worlds that are united in a dimension. So like a teleportation sort of thing where I am on Earth, but someone else lives on Mars and I can go visit them with a teleportation device."
"Yes, you explained it clearly. Call them whatever you like. That's fine, you do you. If it makes you happy, I'll do it, especially since I need you to kill the dragon."
"Oh, okay." confirmed Jojo. "Hol up. What?! I'M GONNA KILL A FU $ DRAGON?! Damn it narrator, I can cuss when I wanna." said Jojo, ignoring the fact that the content rating will go from T to M if cussing like a sailor is allowed.
"Yes, Justin, you will kill Anakos. AND! And you will protect Prince Corrin."
"Huh?! An escort mission? Those suuuuuuucccccc." Jojo sighed. "They always stretch so long and take time."
"Quit your whining, and listen. It'll do you some good. You will protect Corrin so that he can make his family join forces. If you don't, Corrin will die one way or another, you must befriend him and gain trust."
Jojo shuddered at the word 'befriend'. "Um uh, did you say 'be' and 'friend'?"
"Yes, is that a problem?"
"Of course it is, I don't have friends, I barely speak at school, y'all think that if I go up to him and ask to be my friend." Jojo snapped his fingers. "Like that, he'll be my friend?"
"Well, you played the game."
"Oh yeah… it was Fates. He befriended anyone and trusts everyone. So it'll be easy is what you're telling me?"
"Exactly. So using the skills you have learned, you have to do this mission, right? You're the only one who can do it. The fate of your world is in your hands."
"Am I really?" God nodded. "Can't you do it, or him?" Jojo pointed to Jesus, who was surprised to hear of this mission.
"Nope, our power doesn't work like that. We're gods, we aren't allowed to meddle with mortals, yet we can send guardian angels to do stuff for us. Also, remember, if you do this, I'll make sure you get a wish. It can be anything you want it to be."
That got Justin's attention. Jojo sighed. "I guess there's no helping it." Jojo shrugged. "Fine! I'll do it, but under one condition." Jojo explained the condition.
"Alrighty, it's a deal. Anything you say, done."
"I also need to expand my powers. I need some more time to improve."
"Hm, you might be right. I got some tomes for you to practice on. You may not be able to use PSI and ESP without being suspicious, so see how tomes are used." God pulled out some books from a shelf. "Here, non-lethal, so you can use it in your room."
Jojo lifted the books with PSI. "Okay. Well that's one way to improve."
"Practice new ways to use Hamon, contain more chi energy, build up strength, and so on and so forth. Go! You need a montage."
"Sir, yes sir!" And Jojo left.
The two Gods watched the boy leave with the tomes following behind.
"Father! What was that?!"
"Hm?"
"He's going on a mission never done before. We were never allowed to send angels without them have an invisibility ability! You're going to revive him, not that that's a problem, but how's he going to get back? You don't want him to-"
"My son, you worry too much. Don't worry there is a reason for all this, okay? You see, he doesn't have any friends. Like he said, he has trouble making them where he lives. All he has is his parents and sibling, yet I can tell he doesn't like that. There's a reason he said yes when I added the part of his family's security, he just doesn't want his brother to end up like him. He wants to protect his brother's youth, even if his was terrible."
"I guess that's noble, but still you promised him to revive his parents or, you know-"
God held his hand to silence his son. "I know, I know. Let us worry about that when the time comes." And Jesus shut up. "Now then, Justin is almost done with his training, and it only took under a year. Let him finish, though I wonder why he improved so quickly?"
"We'll likely never know, Father." added Jesus. "It's another bizarre anomaly."
