Her hands shook as she walked into the front door of her home. She unclipped the communicator device from her belt, and set it down on the kitchen counter. Miriam made a beeline for her bedroom in the back of the home, and closed the door behind her. Sitting down on the edge of her bed, her shaking hands found their way to her hair, and busily undid her braid before she rubbed at her forehead. She felt like a complete fool. She'd been overconfident. She had no reason to believe a man like him would have room in his heart for her. She paused with her hand over her mouth, remembering his kiss, before remembering the fact that she still barely knew Ben.
She shook her head, and chastised herself. "Silly, stupid girl…" she said, quietly into her hand. She half smiled in incredulity at all that replayed in her mind. She hadn't been wrong that Ben wanted to kiss her too. She just hadn't anticipated he would reject her. She squeezed her eyes shut at the thought that she would eventually have to face him again for their next lesson.
Unless of course I don't go back for more… she thought. The idea was very appealing. It certainly would spare her from further embarrassment and heartache. But deep down she knew it wasn't the answer. She had to get a grasp on what it was that she had inside her, lest it crept up and got her into some hot water.
Every time she thought of facing Ben again, her stomach doubled over in knots. Knowing she would get no real work accomplished if she tried to meditate again, or if she even studied her books that sat gathering dust, she decided that she would try to put herself to good use in some way, and headed for her father's stall in the market.
She walked, wringing her hands the entire time, itching to do something to get her mind off of Ben. When she reached her father's stall, she stopped dead in her tracks. There before her sat her father, and behind him stood his new apprentice. She had known he would be there, but she hadn't anticipated he'd look at all the way he did.
He was tall, with shaggy, wavy jet black hair, and green eyes. He looked straight at Miriam and smiled. Miri couldn't find her words. She had imagined his apprentice would be… older. More bookish, like her father.
"Lee, is this Miri?" the young man spoke.
Lee, looked up from his books, and the page that he was reviewing with his new apprentice, and his eyes glinted with a smile.
"Yes, but I had not anticipated her back so soon," he said, setting his reading glasses down onto the book, and standing to kiss his daughter on the forehead. Miri cleared her throat, and walked into the stall.
"Sorry, Papa, I just finished early and wanted to come lend a hand. I'm not due at the cantina until tomorrow afternoon."
"Very well, but I think Bastien and I have things fairly well covered, don't we?"
"I could always stand to learn a few things from anyone who's worked as a grocer's assistant," Bastien said, smiling broadly.
Miri smiled uncomfortably at the vote of confidence.
"Well, Miri, I'll just be going over the books here with Bastien, but there's cleaning to do in the back." Miri nodded and set about her task.
She cleaned for nearly a half hour, keeping half an eye on this young man and her father. She watched as her father smiled often, and laughed at the things Bastien said. Miri tried to swallow the suspicion that was rising inside her, but she could not tackle all of it at once. Trying to remember Ben's instruction, Miri began breathing deliberately, and tried to picture something that calmed her. The image she chose was the landscape behind Ben's house.
As she finally began to feel her emotions in check, she was roused from her concentration by a hand at her elbow. She jumped, and turned to find Bastien's smiling visage towering over her.
"I'm sorry, Miri, did I startle you?"
Miri forced a half smile, and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Oh, it's fine. I was somewhere else."
Bastien stood, holding Miriam's gaze. "I haven't had a chance to formally introduce myself." He held out his hand. Miriam took it obligingly.
"Bastien Forrel," he said. "I'm pleased to meet you. Your father has been very kind these past few days. I thank you for loaning him to me."
He was trying to be nice. That was what Miri told herself. She took back her hand, which he was still holding, and put it back to work at arranging the prickly, purple fruits in front of her. "Of course," she said. She couldn't think of anything better to say, so she stayed quiet.
"I was sorry to hear about what happened to you at the cantina," he said. He grabbed one of the purple, prickly fruits, and tossed it from hand to hand.
"Oh, uh…" Miriam stopped her arranging, and set her hands on the table. "It's fine. I'm fine."
"Good," he said. He still wasn't leaving. Miriam stood there, and when he didn't say more, she abandoned the fruit trays, and went to the jars of herbs further back in the tent. He followed. With her back to Bastien, her eyes widened. She was beginning to regret coming to the stall at all today.
"So, I hear you're a studying languages," he said, still behind her.
"Uh huh," Miriam said, looking back at Bastien, and scanning around as if to find an escape. She quickly registered her father's poorly hidden eavesdropping. She could have sworn she saw him smile.
"I think that's really interesting. I was never much one for schooling, except for arithmetic. I have always had a head for numbers."
Miri drew her lip under her teeth, and shook her head slightly. She was being rude. He was being strangely friendly with her, but still she was being rude.
"I enjoy learning languages. I hear enough of them in the market. Before I started school I already knew three."
"I'm impressed," Bastien said. He seemed relieved that Miriam was speaking more cordially with him. "So you're getting lessons from Ben Kenobi?"
"I am," Miriam tried to hide her flushing face.
"I hear he's some kind of a hermit. What's he like?"
Miriam bristled at hearing him called a hermit, especially in that tone. She gritted her teeth.
"Soft-spoken. Incredibly smart." Miriam felt her face fall. "Kind." She turned on Bastien. "If you'll excuse me, Bastien, I think I've got a headache coming on. I think I'll just retire for the day. Get out of your way."
She turned to leave, when Bastien grabbed her arm. She turned slightly, and looked from Bastien's hand to his green eyes, which bore into her pleadingly.
"Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I'm sure he's a great teacher."
Miriam put on her best smile, and shook her head. "That's fine. I'll just go now, though…"
Bastien let go, and watched longingly as the slight girl all but tore out of the Gorsa Grocery stall.
He approached his mentor, hands on his hips, and shook his head. "Well, she hates me."
Lee Gorsa chuckled, and slapped the young man on the arm. "Don't let it worry you. She'll be right as rain in no time. My Miri is good about getting her wits about her."
Miri found herself back in her kitchen, every sense screaming at her. All she wanted was to get into her hover car and to go to Ben, but still she stopped herself. Standing there, unsure what to do with herself, her heightened emotions proved to be too much for her to handle, so she poured herself a glass of the table wine her father kept out, and sat deep in thought for the rest of the afternoon.
She was slightly buzzed from the wine by the time her father returned home, and found her turning the bottle absentmindedly. He took off his cloak, and sat down at the table next to her, and grabbed the hand that was twirling the bottle.
She looked up at him through hazy eyes. She didn't know what to ask him.
"Want to tell me what you're doing drinking alone here during the day?"
"The suns are setting," Miriam said, putting the glass to her lips and drinking.
"That's not what I mean. It's not like you."
"I don't know dad. I guess I'm not feeling very much like myself," she shot the words at him with ice.
Lee assessed his daughter's demeanor. He wrenched his face. "What's wrong?"
Miri shot him a warning glance. She didn't answer the question. "Bastien seems real wizard, Papa."
"He's a nice young man, Miri." He said, trying not to grow impatient with his daughter's intoxication.
"I'm sure," Miri said, softly. "Very personal young man, isn't he?"
"No more than you can be, Miri. You're a beautiful young woman, and I'm not surprised that he seems to like you. I seem to recall you recently becoming very personal with others in this way."
"Is this about Ben?" Miri asked with a chuckle. "Do you disapprove, Papa?" She shot back the rest of the wine.
"And what if I did?" Lee's tone was no longer obliging. "What if I thought he was far too old for you? And your lessons out there in the Dune Sea are hardly proper for a young lady like you?"
"A young lady like me?" Miri was surprised to find that she was standing now. "Where do I work, dad? Does a girl like me work in a place like Mos Eisley Cantina?"
"You wouldn't if I had any say about it."
"Well, you don't, dad, because it's what's going to get the Hutts off our backs, in case you've forgotten them."
Just as the words fell out of her mouth, Miri regretted them. She could feel her father's hurt emanating off him in waves.
She spoke, hoping to heal the hurt. "I don't mind working there dad. I don't mind what people say or don't say about me. I don't worry about my prospects, as I'm sure you do. It's a means to an end. I do it because I love you, and because regardless of what anyone things, I'm capable of helping in this way."
Silence passed between them.
"I don't think you have to worry about Ben, dad," Miriam came to her father's side, and kissed his forehead.
"I don't, do I?"
Miriam ran her hands through her hair. "I don't know, dad. No. He's just… my teacher. Please don't read too much into it." The admission saddened her. She hated to hear it out loud. It made it more true.
She suddenly became too tired to continue their conversation. It might have been the activity for the day, or it might have been the table wine, but all the same, she shuffled off towards her room, and stopped at the doorway.
"Dad, we're almost through the worst of it. I will be done at the cantina soon. I just need you to allow me to make these decisions and not judge me for them. Can we make that compromise?"
Lee rose, and met his daughter at her door, and kissed her cheek before admitting defeat. "I can make that compromise."
Lee left his daughter at her bedroom, and retreated to his own. In a flash, Miri had closed her door, and was stripping layers of clothes and boots off before she pulled her blanket about her, and fell asleep in the dimly lit room.
