Miscellaneous Bickering
Jack and Barbossa are on board the Black Pearl, demonstrating the obvious contention for the role of Captain.
Barbossa: Trim that sail!
Jack: Trim that sail!
Barbossa: Slack windward brace and sheets!
Jack: Slack windward brace and sheets!
Barbossa: Haul that pallet line!
Jack: Haul that pallet line!
Barbossa: I'll haul your pallet line.
Jack: I'll haul your face's pallet line.
Barbossa: Your face will haul your mom's pallet line.
Jack: Your mom's face will -
Pintel: Shut up! That's an order!
Awkward pause. No one is really sure who gave Pintel authorization to give orders.
Pintel: Sorry. It was worth a try. Carry on.
Jack and Barbossa go to the upper deck. Barbossa takes out a spyglass and looks out to sea.
Jack: Sweet spyglass.
Barbossa: Thanks. I stole it from Beckett.
Jack takes out a spyglass of his own. But it looks pansy compared to Barbossa's top-of-the-line, stolen-from-the-most-powerful-guy-ever spyglass.
Jack: Why are you so lame?
Spyglass: I dunno. Sorry.
Jack drops the spyglass into the ocean and leaves.
Below, Will and Elizabeth are having a "moment". Will tries to break the ice with small talk.
Will: So... lovely weather we're having...
Elizabeth will have none of it.
Elizabeth: Yes, I left Jack to the kraken, okay? He's rescued now, so it's over. Did it look like I had a choice?
Will: I was trying not to look. Why didn't you tell me?
Elizabeth: Why didn't you tell me your dad was a pirate?
Will: I did.
Elizabeth: Oh.
At night, Ragetti and Pintel are playing Apples to Apples on the deck of the ship. Then they realize it's dumb to play that game with only two people. They notice dead people floating in the water.
Pintel: OMGEEEEEW! Look!
Ragetti: I wonder what would happen if you dropped a cannonball on one?
Naturally, they go get cannonballs. When they return, Tia Dalma gives them the evil eye for their intention of disrespecting the dead.
Ragetti: No, stupid, I told you, that would be disrespectful.
Pintel: Did not.
Ragetti: Did too.
Pintel: Did -
Tia Dalma: Shut it. I hate you both. These dead people should be in the care of Davy Jones, like Calypso said. And every ten years he could go ashore to be with his lover. He had to go all nuts.
Ragetti: You mean he wasn't always a fishface?
Pintel: You're a fishface.
Tia Dalma: No. Him was a man... once.
Ragetti: OMG look! Boats!
Gibbs also sees the boats and starts loading a gun.
Will: Don't waste ammo.
Tia Dalma: We are but ghosts to them.
Will: Oh, we're the ghosts, are we? And they're, what?
Barbossa: Just leave them alone, would you?
Will: FINE!
Elizabeth: Look, it's my father! We're back!
Jack: Lies.
Governor Swann: Elizabeth, are you dead?
Elizabeth: What? No! Of course not! Why would that even make sense?
Governor Swann: Oh. Well, that makes one of us.
Elizabeth: Wait, what?
Governor Swann: There was a chest. And a heart. And it all seemed so important. Especially to Beckett. Hmm.
Elizabeth: Come aboard!
Governor Swann: Don't be silly. And don't stab the heart, either. Otherwise you have to take its place.
Elizabeth: I won't fit in that little box.
Will: Are you calling me fat?
Jack: Will, don't speak.
Elizabeth: Father, climb aboard!
Tia Dalma crash-tackles her. Will hugs Elizabeth.
Will: Is there a way?
Tia Dalma: You have a touch of destiny about you.
Awkward pause.
Barbossa: I have a feeling that line would have been better said like five minutes ago.
Tia Dalma: Yeah, probably.
Hola. I have returned. That's all I have to say... :D
