A/N: I wanted to get this out now, because I don't know when I'll be able to publish another story. Things are about to get really busy for me! But I won't forget about my stories, I promise. I may not always be actually writing, but they're constantly on my mind and I'm always thinking of ideas. So please be patient and I will publish the next chapter of this (and my other story in progress) as soon as I can.


Brittany felt numb when she woke up. She was aware of everything that had happened early that morning but she couldn't process any thoughts or feelings. All she could do was lay there and stare at the light pink walls covered in posters and heart-shaped stickers.

The feelings came first. Brittany felt ashamed and dirty. She also felt a tiny sense of satisfaction, and she wasn't sure why. This just made her confused, which triggered frustration. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with all these emotions first thing in the morning, but she had brought this upon herself. She knew this would happen the moment she kissed Alvin; she knew the consequences, but she didn't care at the time.

Brittany wondered if Alvin was still in bed. She lay perfectly still, but heard no noise. Alvin had always been a pretty heavy sleeper; maybe he was there. What would she do if he was there? Did she want him there?

Brittany held her breath as she rolled over. Alvin was gone; Brittany was alone. An odd mix of relief and disappointment ran through her. She was glad she didn't have to deal with him at the moment, but she felt so alone.

The sleepy teenager noticed a folded pink piece of paper sitting atop her pillow. She recognized it from her stationary set she kept on her desk. Brittany's heart sped up when she read the sloppy handwriting: Brittany, it read, thanks for the "talk." Call me later. –Alvin

Not sure how to feel about the note, Brittany tossed it back on the pillow and lay back down on the bed. He expected her to call him? Yeah right, like that was going to happen.

At least not today.

The first thing Brittany did was straight to the bathroom for a long, hot shower. She turned the water temperature as hot as it would go, closed her eyes, and breathed in the steam, letting the scorching water rinse away her guilt and shame.

Despite over thirty minutes of scrubbing and washing, she still felt dirty. She couldn't believe she just gave herself up to Alvin like that, after all that time and effort she spent trying to avoid him and prove to herself that he wasn't good enough for her. All she had to do was last a few more weeks and she'd be back at UCLA, miles away from him. But once again, she let lust get in the way. Why was kissing such a weakness to her? Were other girls like this? Did this make her a slut? Did she have some sort problem?

Brittany dressed down to match her mood: white cashmere sweat pants and a fitted Juicy Couture hoodie (more gifts she got in Europe). As much as she wanted to sit in her room and feel sorry for herself, Brittany knew she had to pretend that nothing was wrong. She couldn't let her sisters find out about what had happened between her and Alvin.

Although eating was the last thing Brittany wanted to do, she made her way down the hall to get to the stairs. She nearly ran right into Miss Miller, which was odd considering that Brittany hadn't seen Miss Miller go upstairs the whole time she had been home.

"Well good morning Darling!" Miss Miller exclaimed in her southern drawl.

"Good morning," Brittany replied with a forced smile.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," Miss Miller said. Surprisingly, she seemed fairly calm, like she actually knew what she was talking about. "Last night I got up to go to the bathroom and I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom."

Brittany froze. "Strange sounds?"

Miss Miller nodded. "Yes, almost as if you were moaning. You made an odd screaming noise too."

Brittany felt her face flush. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with Miss Miller. Of all the things for the old women to remember…

"I was having a nightmare," Brittany explained, hoping Miss Miller wouldn't notice her uneasiness.

Miss Miller raised her eyebrows and looked concerned. "Oh, you did? Why Brittany, that's terrible!"

Miss Miller pulled Brittany in for a tight hug. She squeezed her adopted daughter until Brittany let out a small squeak from the pain.

"I'm fine," Brittany said in a strained voice as her bones were being crushed. "Really."

Miss Miller eased her grip and grinned at Brittany. "You know, I almost came up and checked on you. But these old knees just don't get up and down the stairs like they used to!"

"You're upstairs now," Brittany pointed out.

Miss Miller looked around and blinked. "Oh," she muttered. "I guess I am." Brittany helped her guardian carefully go down the steep steps, happy that the awkward conversation was over.

But if Miss Miller could hear me, Brittany wondered, does that mean Eleanor and Jeanette could've heard?

Brittany doubted it. Eleanor was a very deep sleeper and Jeanette often slept with ear plugs. Well, she used to. Brittany didn't know if she still did.

Sunshine poured through the living room windows, catching the tinsel and garland from the large Christmas tree. At first Brittany appreciated the pretty sight, but she quickly felt a knot form in her stomach. Seeing the tree reminded her of who she bought the tree with and who she was supposed to go out with tonight.

Simon.

Brittany leaned against the wall and miserably ran her hands through her damp hair. How could she have forgotten about Simon? The guy she was going on a date with in a few hours. The guy whose brother she had just hooked up with. The guy who quite possibly had a crush on her.

The guy who she kinda-sorta-maybe beginning to have feelings for.

Brittany knew it was absurd, but she really had been starting to feel a slight attraction to Simon. All these years she just thought he was a nerd who took things too seriously and spent his free time doing science experiments in his dirty basement. But after getting to know him, she realized he was so much more than that. She had learned to appreciate his dry sense of humor and, surprisingly, she liked that he was so smart. Brittany liked hearing him talk about things she had never really thought about;
Simon was by far the smartest person she knew, and she enjoyed hearing his opinions and explanations.

Despite what she had thought before, there was nothing wrong with Simon Seville. He was more mature and realistic than most guys his age, but he wasn't a total loser like she'd once thought. He was funny, smart, and kind. Not to mention, he was quite good-looking; he had those beautiful blue-grey eyes that captivated Brittany. Alvin might have been known as the heartthrob of the Seville family, but there was no denying that Simon was very handsome in his own way.

Simon was much different from any other guy that Brittany had ever found appealing; and this excited Brittany. She knew she wasn't head-over-heels for the guy, but there was something between them. However, there was no way Brittany could go out with him tonight, not after everything that had happened. She needed more time to think about this.

Brittany heard her cell phone ring from her bedroom. She hurried to her room and picked it up right before it went to voice mail.

"Hello?" Brittany said. She hadn't checked the caller ID. She hoped it wasn't Alvin; dealing with him at the moment was not an option.

"It's Simon," the caller said.

Brittany relaxed a little. "Oh, hi Simon. I was actually just about to call you…"

"I called to cancel our date tonight." Simon cut her off.

Brittany's heart sank. Just by the way Simon had just sounded; she knew that he knew about Alvin.

"Why?" Brittany asked, even though she was pretty sure she knew the answer.

"For the past two hours, I've had to listen to Alvin boast about you two's little sleepover last night," Simon said. He sounded angry and annoyed, which made Brittany feel worse. "I figured a date with my brother's girlfriend would be out of the question."

"Whoa!" Brittany said, suddenly feeling very alert. "Hold on. We are not back together."

"Then why did you sleep with him?" Simon asked, seemingly void of emotion. "For fun?"

Brittany sighed. "Look, Simon, I…"

"There's no need to explain, Brittany," Simon interrupted. "I get it, I really do. I was just some pawn in your scheme to get Alvin back. Well, now that you have him, I'm not needed anymore. We can go back to ignoring each other."

"I don't want to ignore you, Simon." Brittany's voice was starting to crack due to the huge lump forming in her throat.

"You already have ignored me, Brittany," Simon said. He sounded firm, but Brittany could hear the hurt in his voice.

Brittany gripped the phone tighter. What exactly did he mean by that?

"Simon," Brittany pleaded. "Please, just let me…"

Her words trailed off when she realized the line had gone dead.

"I led him on," Brittany said quietly. She slowly started to understand why Simon had said she ignored him; she had completely ignored his feelings this whole time. She didn't even give him a second thought when she was in bed with his brother; when Alvin was kissing her, she pretty much ignored the fact that Simon existed.

Obviously she and Simon weren't an official couple or anything, but there was no denying that they both thought there was potential to be more than friends. Brittany hadn't been taking the thought too seriously, but it was in the back of her mind; but she had thrown that possibility away. Now neither of them would know.

Brittany wandered downstairs in the living room. Miss Miller and Jeanette were quietly watching television, and Brittany joined them. On the TV, a girl about Brittany's age was talking about her younger brother being diagnosed with cancer last year.

This made Brittany feel even more pathetic. There were people in the world dealing with horrible things like cancer, and she was crying over boys.

The doorbell rang, and Brittany silently volunteered to see who it was. The girl on TV was now sobbing, and Brittany didn't think she could take anymore.

Brittany opened the door. Her knees weakened when she saw who was leaning against the doorframe.

"Alvin," she gasped.

"The one and only," Alvin said, his smirk making her feel powerless.

Brittany glanced at the couch Jeanette was sitting on. Her sister was craning her neck toward to door, trying to get a better look at who Brittany was talking to. Brittany, who thankfully was wearing her slippers, stepped on the porch and closed the door.

"What are you doing here?" Brittany hugged herself for warmth as the cold hit her sweater-clad body.

"Just wanted to say hello," Alvin said. "You got my note, right?"

Brittany nodded. A cold wind blew her hair around her shoulders.

"I can't stop thinking about you," Alvin said gently. He leaned closer to her.

Brittany couldn't stop thinking about Alvin either, but she doubted that she thought of him as positively as he thought about her.

"So," Alvin said slowly. He looked at her expectantly. "Does this mean we're back together?"

Brittany's eyes widened. "Why would you think that?"

Alvin looked at her as if she was crazy. "Why wouldn't I think that after what happened last night?"

Despite the bitterly cold temperature, Brittany's face felt hot. She couldn't believe this; Alvin actually thought hooking up would solve all their problems. She felt so overwhelmed, but she decided that she needed to be firm and stand her ground on this.

"Alvin," Brittany said in a sharp tone. "Just because… stuff happened last night doesn't mean we're together. It was just a lapse of judgment on my part. It didn't mean anything serious."

Alvin stared at her with an unreadable expression. Brittany looked back at him, trying to look confident so he wouldn't ask questions.

"So it was just a one night stand?" Alvin finally asked.

"Yeah," Brittany reluctantly admitted. "I guess it was."

Alvin shook his head and smiled. "No way," he muttered.

Brittany sighed. "Sorry Alvin, but…"

"You mean to tell me that last night didn't mean anything to you?" Alvin asked. His piercing blue eyes seemed to go right through her.

The question caught Brittany off-guard. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She quickly reminded herself that she was the one in charge here.

"I don't know why you're taking this so hard," Brittany spat. "You have one night stands all the time and you seem to move on just fine. One night stands are what you live for, Alvin. No commitment, no feelings, no strings attached, just action. This shouldn't be a big deal for you."

Alvin took a deep breath and exhaled sharply through his nose. "It's a big deal because I don't think of you as a one night stand. Maybe I should, but I can't. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was great what happened between us last night in your room. But I…" he paused, as if to consider his next words. "I want more, Brittany."

Brittany couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had never seen Alvin so vulnerable. This was the guy who got suspended for putting super glue on toilet seats. This was the guy who was voted Biggest Flirt in high school despite the fact that everyone knew he and Brittany were dating. Why was he suddenly being so serious and honest? It was making her uncomfortable, even though he was seemingly saying all the right things.

"Look," Brittany said slowly. "Call me a tease; say I led you on, whatever. But I don't want to get back together. We can't. Not after what you did to me last…"

"Damn it Brittany!" Alvin hit the side of the house, making her jump. "Why do you keep bringing that up? I'm sorry, okay? I've apologized a thousand times, and I don't know what else you want me to do! It was wrong, and I'm sorry you got hurt, but it's over. It happened a year ago, and things have changed! I've changed!"

Tears stung Brittany's eyes. She didn't know how to respond; and she hated to admit it, but maybe he was right. Maybe it was time to let last year go.

But she couldn't. At least not right now. She knew she needed to let it go, but the hurt and sadness was still there.

Brittany swallowed and shook her head. "I can't."

Alvin's shoulders slumped. "So that's it then?"

"I don't know!" Brittany cried. "I don't know, Alvin! I'm confused!"

"There's nothing to be confused about," Alvin told her. "Do you still have feelings for me?"

"Yes," Brittany admitted, looking at the snow-covered ground. There was no point in lying anymore.

"So tell me you'll be my girlfriend," Alvin said, as if it was the easiest decision in the world.

"It's not that simple," Brittany muttered.

"Why not?" Alvin asked, losing patience.

Brittany didn't answer. It wasn't like she could tell Alvin that she was starting to like his brother. That wouldn't have gone over well.

Alvin sighed. "Okay, Brittany. I need to know right now." He took her numb hands into his gloved ones and looked her in the eye. "Tell me right now: Are we going to get back together?"

Brittany's heart hammered in her chest. "I… I don't know. I need time to think."

"It's a yes or no question," Alvin said, his eyes never leaving hers. He was a pro at intense staring. The boy could win a staring contest with a statue. "Either you want to get back together or you don't."

"Right now it's a no," Brittany finally said. "Like I said, I need time to…"

Alvin dropped her hands. "I can't wait on you forever, Brittany." He sounded hurt and frustrated.

"If you truly loved me you would," Brittany said without thinking.

"I'm not going to spend time on someone who doesn't love me back," Alvin came back just as quickly. Brittany knew this was true too. Alvin wouldn't pull this desperate routine for long. After a while, he would settle for someone who actually liked him back.

"I think you should leave." Brittany knew she'd break into tears in a matter of seconds, and she didn't want Alvin around for that.

"Yeah," Alvin said. Only he didn't budge. Instead, he stood still and looked at Brittany for a few long seconds. Then leaned in and kissed her lips. Brittany automatically kissed him back.

When Alvin pulled away, Brittany found herself disappointed that the kiss was over.

"I just wanted to do that one last time," Alvin explained, sounded a little hoarse.

Brittany could only nod. Her lips tingled and her mind felt fuzzy.

"See you on Christmas." Alvin turned toward his house. He slowly walked away, probably doing it on purpose to give Brittany time to call his name and confess that she loved him.

But Brittany was speechless. She lightly touched her bruised lips with her fingers. Her mind whirled, trying to process everything that had just happened.

This was by far the most bizarre, dramatic day she'd ever had in her life.

Well, besides Christmas Eve last year.

Brittany couldn't take it anymore. She quickly stepped inside and ran up the stairs. She ignored Jeanette when she asked her what was wrong.

Finally, Brittany reached her room, slammed the door shut, and flopped onto her annoyingly fluffy bed. She buried her face in the pillow and sobbed, letting out all the sadness and confusion she'd been holding in for so long.

Simon, the only person she had managed to trust since she had came home, hated her and thought she was a slut. She had slept with her sleazy ex-boyfriend, and was for some reason still in love with him. Her sisters were dishonest and distant, and one of them hooked up with Alvin, who had cheated on Brittany. And the woman who raised her was losing what little mind she had left.

Brittany's heart was broken; she totally understood the expression now. Her chest literally hurt from all the horrible emotions she was feeling. She just wanted this visit to be over; she wanted to back to college, where things were going well for her. She hated being home; and she hated the fact that she hated being home.

The Chipette cried until she had no more tears and energy to carry on. Feeling exhausted, Brittany fell into a deep, deep sleep.


Review, amigos! Please?