A/N: The song I've referenced is Stupid Boy and is the sole property of Keith Urban. In my mind Sam is secretly a country fan, I haven't used the whole song, just sections, but the sentiment behind it seemed perfect.
Rachel entered the quiet room; as usual she was the first to arrive for glee. She made her way up to the back corner, the seat furthest away the stage area. As she waited for the rest of the club to arrive she gave herself a silent pep talk. Today I'm are going to get up and sing. Perhaps not a solo, but no doubt Mercedes or Tina will join me in a duet, or even both of them. Actually, maybe later in the week, no need to rush.
She was startled out of her thoughts by someone throwing themselves into the chair next to her. She glanced over to see Noah sprawled across the chair looking down at her with what appeared to be concern, as soon as he saw her watching it changed back to his customary smirk.
"Berry."
"Hello Noah"
After greeting her Noah didn't seem inclined to continue the conversation. Instead he started surveying the room greeting people with a nod or a smirk as they entered in small groups. He picked his bag up and threw it on the chair next to him, earning himself a glare and a pout from Santana who had been making her way up the steps. Once everyone had come in and sat down the room was filled with quiet murmuring as they chatted to their friends. Rachel gazed around them all waiting for Mr Schuester to arrive and start the rehearsal.
She watched Finn, wishing he would glance back at her, instead his eyes never left Quinn. She was distracted again by Noah when he started kicking her chair repeatedly. She swatted at him irritably but he just chuckled and continued kicking. She was prevented from telling him off when Mr Schuester strode into the room.
"Alright guys, time to get excited. This week we're going to investigate the world of spoken word." He turned to face the room grinning and waiting for a reaction. Before anyone had to respond Sam put his hand up and called out.
"Mr Schue, before we start that, I was hoping I could show you all something I've been working on."
Mr Schuester looked surprised, but agreed and took a seat behind the piano. Sam picked up his guitar and stood in the middle of the room. Raking a hand through his hair he took a deep breath. He stared down at his guitar and started talking.
"So I reckon I've been pretty lucky. I'm new here, you've all been through a lot together, but you've accepted me quickly. Most of you have been great friends. There's one person in particular that has been awesome. She's made me laugh, she's made me think and she's one of the best people I know."
Rachel could see Quinn starting to preen in the front row, while Finn looked uncomfortable. Sam finally lifted his head up and looked straight at her.
"You were one of the best friends I could hope for and I screwed it up. So Rachel this song is for you. You can hate me if you want, I deserve it. I'm not doing this so you forgive me. I just need you to understand that what happened wasn't your fault. I was angry and hurt and I took it out on you, you didn't do anything wrong. So here it is, my apology, appropriately called Stupid Boy."
Rachel blushed when everyone craned around to stare at her. She tried to ignore them all and they lost interest in her when Sam started singing.
"Well, she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different"
Sam didn't have any choreographed moves, he didn't dance or travel around the room, he didn't even have any prepared expressions for his performance. He just stood still and played, his eyes never leaving Rachel. She had to look away and blink furiously to avoid tears when she heard his voice start to crack on the second verse.
"So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down
Puck bumped his shoulder against Rachel's. When she looked up at him he gestured back to Sam. She finally brought her head up to watch him for the final verse.
"It took awhile for her to figure out she could run
But when she did, she was long gone
Long gone, long gone
Ah, she's gone"
There was a pause after Sam went silent before everyone started cheering for him. Mr Schuester walked over clapping enthusiastically and he patted Sam on the back, gesturing towards the seats. Rachel found herself avoiding eye contact, couldn't bring herself to look at his hopeful expression as he took his seat.
Mr Schuester continued on with his lesson, but Rachel didn't take in a thing. Usually the most attentive of them all, this time she couldn't make her thoughts stop buzzing or her stomach flipping. She couldn't cope with the idea of making conversation, chatting as if nothing had happened while everyone tried to be subtle about the quizzical looks they sent her way. As soon as glee was called to a close she ran from the room, ignoring the look on Sam's face as she pushed past.
Sam headed towards his locker with his hands in his pockets. Since his performance the day before he'd gotten a lot of questions, glares from both Finn and Quinn and an approving nod from Puck. He'd been keeping an eye out for Rachel all day, but he hadn't caught so much as a glimpse of her between classes. He really didn't know if he'd made a difference between the two of them, but was feeling better for trying, like a weight had lifted. Opening his locker he grabbed his books and then slammed the door shut jumping when he found Rachel standing directly behind it.
She looked up at him seriously. "I don't hate you. I wish I did, I think it would be easier."
Sam just nodded dumbly at her, unable to think of anything to say.
"I thought you were different, you got to know me and didn't ask me to change, didn't try to change me. I thought you were my friend."
"I was-I am!"
Rachel looked away from him and continued on like he hadn't interrupted. "I let you see me, who I really am and you turned that around and used it against me. You knew how best to hurt me, because I showed you, and now that's all I can think when I see you. It makes me feel sick, and want to cry all over again."
"I know and again I'm so sorry and whatever I will do whatever I can to make it better. Come meet my family and I will allow them to tell you every embarrassing thing that I have ever done. You'll have so much dirt on me you can hold it over my head forever."
She shoved her hands in her coat pockets and looked back up at him. "I don't have friends, not real ones. Objectively, I understand why, I can't even really blame any of them. I know what I'm like. So I am not willing to lose the best friend I have, I will work on forgiving you, but you are going to have to let me take the time I need."
Sam's face broke into a wide grin and he grabbed her in an enthusiastic one armed hug. He quickly stepped back, raising his hands in apology, but didn't miss the small smile she tried to hide. "Cool, that's awesome, you take the time you need and I will be here. Well not like actually here, but around somewhere."
She gave him a regal nod and spun on her heels walking off. Just as he turned to jog away he heard Rachel call back to him.
"Just so you know, I plan on taking you up on your offer. I will know everything you wish had been forgotten and I will laugh heartily."
Sam couldn't even find it himself to care.
