**For authors notes, summary etc see chapter 1**

Changes

Chapter 8 – To sleep perchance to dream

"No don't be like that I'm sorry, we were just being careful you don't understand!" This is awful. I should have known, how could I have been so stupid of course they're upset what was I thinking. "Look Brian speak to Esther she'll tell you it's normal to be careful."

"Sandra honey it's ok." How can he say that? How can he be so calm I told him this would happen I knew when I heard Jack talking that they'd be furious when they found out about the baby. Oh god this is terrible.

"Look guys I'm sorry please don't be like this come on you're not being fair." They're refusing to even look at me let alone talk to me and now I'm crying oh god this is so bad how and I supposed to….

"Sandra sweetheart come on wake up." Wake up? What the hell is he talking about I am awake I'm standing right here and …..oh…..wait it's finally dawned on me that none of this is real and I'm forcing my eyes open letting them adjust to the dim glow from the bedside lamp he's put on. "Ssssh its ok what happened are you ok?"

"It was awful, they were so angry and I was trying to explain and it wasn't working and….." Great now I've completely fallen apart; and he's wiping my tears away while rubbing my tummy as if he's trying to sooth both me and the baby at the same time.

"Who wouldn't let you explain Sandra talk to me it was just a nightmare it wasn't real, talk to me." He's really frightened now I can see him panicking I'm never going to calm down. Note to self Sandra when you've just scared the life out of your husband who is already very jittery about the fact you are in the early stages of pregnancy try to give more coherent explanations!

"Jack and Brian; they were really angry that we hadn't told them about the baby and they wouldn't let me explain they just kept saying I was a hypocrite and that I kept telling them they were like family but then when it came to something this big we didn't tell them."

"Oh Sandra you are such a girl at times." Well hello I am a girl well female anyway what's that got to do with anything? He's been like this all evening since I told him about the conversation I overheard this morning. He thinks I'm making too much of Jack saying that I would have told them if I was pregnant. He was more peeved that they suggested either of us might be having an affair but he doesn't understand they are always arguing between the three of them but I'm supposed to be the glue that holds is all together and if they stop trusting me then we're screwed.

"It's easy for you to say it wasn't you they were mad at you were sitting behind your desk ignoring them while I was trying to explain and will you stop bloody laughing it's not funny Gerry."

"Sandra you're being irrational." Well thanks for that honey but it's not helping god what is it with him that he seems to have lost the ability to say the right thing since he got me pregnant. "You remember what it was like when they first found out we were a couple? First they were constantly gossiping about how long it would last, then if we'd move in together then if we'd get married. They are like grannies at a knitting circle when it comes to speculating about where our relationship will go next. If we'd spent the last week fawning all over each other they'd be saying we were over compensating about something or be complaining that we were making the office an uncomfortable place to work. There's no pleasing them at times and we're not telling them about bump any sooner just because they are talking about the fact it's a possibility."

"I know but it really shook me up you weren't there this morning you didn't hear them." I know he's right everything he says about Jack and Brian and their constant speculation about our relationship is true, it's like cat nip to them at times but I'm allowed to be slightly more paranoid right now aren't I?

"No, true I didn't but I arrived in time to see them laughing about the merits of golf verses fishing as a hobby and to find you a gibbering mess hiding in your office and I can tell you I know who was more concerned about what they'd said and it wasn't them!" See now he's making too much sense for this time of the night and I'm starting to feel stupid. "Don't listen to Mummy bump, Uncle Jack and Uncle Brian are going to be really pleased to know you're on your way you relax in there and I'll get her back to sleep."

Hey! He's doing the tag teaming thing again argh I really want to be angry with him but as he pulls me into his arms and stares into my eyes with a level of understanding and love that could placate the devil himself I can't.

"Sandra Jack and Brian love you, they've always been happy for us and this time will be no different. They are going to want to chain you to your desk until bump gets here then when it does they are going to be the best uncles any child could wish for. You're panicking because of what you heard and not to say I told you so but I did tell you not to go in early this morning didn't I?" I don't want to say I told you so but I'm going to say I told you so anyway nice Gerry very nice! "The most important people in this situation are you and bump so however they react I don't give a toss I want you both to be ok before we deal with anyone else and it's only two more weeks until the next scan then we can tell everyone."

Hmm everyone, yeah, see he doesn't know how right he is and I can think of at least two people neither of us will look forward to having "the" conversation with and as he pulls me close and I feel sleep take over me again I can't help but smile because if he had thought of the conversations with our boss and my mother he'd be the one having nightmares!