The Pretty Good Inkman

Chapter 8

Don't Sit too Close to the TV!


There was The Inkman! The Defender of the Defenseless, The Juggernaut of Justice, The Guardian of Good, the Protector of Peace! Oh! Faster than a Sea Slug and Stronger than a Plankton!

"I must look at the newspaper more often, Chirpington." The Inkman told his avian ally as he held a newspaper with him on the front page, "The people sure are talking about me a lot."

"Chirp Chirp." Chirpington responded as he also looked at the newspaper.

"I guess I just inspire the people." The Inkman said, "Knowing that it is but a simple man that has taken into the streets to uphold righteousness." he pointed up, "There's no need to be a superbeing that can slice up Octarians left and right, or slip into a negative zone... You just need to be an average guy." he grinned.

"Chirp Chirp." Chirpington chriped.

"It looks like it's time to get back to work." The Inkman threw aside the newspaper and looked back at Inkopolis's skyline. "Inkman!" he stepped back, "AWAY!" he jumped off and started to glide.

After a few moments of gliding, The Inkman saw that the city was overall very peaceful, pleasing the hero greatly.

"I love it when there's no crime..." The Inkman said, "But that means I wouldn't have a job." he laughed a bit.

A group of birds was flying behind him, the triangle formation being led by Chirpington.

"Chirpington!" The Inkman said, "Go to the eastern sector and report!"

"TWEET!" the bird responded, and his group took a turn, leaving the hero.

"Thank you!" The Inkman grinned then continued gliding, his yellow cape gleaming in the sun and attracting many watchers from multiple buildings.

A quick updraft helped The Inkman get more altitude, increasing his gliding time greatly.

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"Just move it a bit here..." an inkling young man with green hair said as he told two movers to position a large TV.

"Yeah... right there." an inkling female, most likely the youth's partner, added once the movers got it into a favorable spot, "Thanks."

"No problem." one of the movers said, "Hope you enjoy your SquidaTV." he grinned and collected the check from the male inkling.

"You bought a TV from the DagonTech?!" the female growled, "You know how much it costs!?"

"Hey... It's a good TV." the inkling grinned as he turned it on, "Look at the display."

"Maybe we should make our own TV next time." the female growled, "What are we going to watch, Adam?"

"I don't know..." Adam responded as he flipped through channels, "Maybe a scary movie, Eve."

"I like that..." Eve nodded and turned to face the television.

"If only we cou-"

KRASH! Their living room apartment window broke, startling the two.

"Ah!" The Inkman groaned as he slid on the carpet ahead of them, "What are we watching?" he turned to the TV.

"Who are you!?" Adam yelled, "What are you doing here!?"

"Adam, wait!" Eve said, "That's The Inkman! He's on the news!" she pointed at the hero, who was barely standing up.

"That is my name!" The Inkman said as he brushed some glass off him, "I was just testing... the air currents." he mumbled, "One dragged me straight in here I'm afraid."

"Are you alright?" Eve asked, noting what he just went through.

"Yep!" The Inkman responded, "It takes more than a mere window to take down The Inkman!" he claimed, "Now, what is it you need... while I am still here."

"Nothing really." Adam responded, "Except the window." he looked at the broken glass.

"Ah! I will cover that!" The Inkman said and walked to the damage.

"Ah..." Adam groaned as he saw the TV was slanted, "I guess they didn't install it right."

"What a drag..." Eve sighed, "And I left the tools in the car."

"Fear not, Citizens!" The Inkman jumped over their sofa and landed in between them, "I will repair your television!" he walked up to it.

"You don't need to do that, Inkman." Adam said, "I'll go get the tools."

"No, stay calm!" The Inkman inspected the TV, "I can do this!" he turned back to them, "I see you have set your sofa too close." he commented.

"We like to see the display resolution." Eve told him.

"Well that is unsafe!" The Inkman said, "I will have to move this sofa further back for your safety!"

"How?" Adam asked, "This sofa took me and Splates to move!" he warned.

"Tsk.. Tsk..." The Inkman shook his head, "You doubt the Devastating Strength of The Inkman?" he flexed his biceps, "Behold!" he lined up with the sofa. "HERPH!" our hero gave a great heave, but it only moved a bit.

"I told you." Adam chuckled.

"At least he moved it." Eve told him, "You couldn't even budge it."

"Haah!" The Inkman groaned as he continued to pushed, "RAH!"

Unfortunately for him, he was also pushing a small coffee table that was behind the sofa, which had three vases on top.

"HA!" The Inkman gave one last push.

KRASH! The vases on the coffee table all fell to the ground and broke.

"Ha!" Eve gasped and turned to see the damage, "That was a gift from my mother!"

"I moved the sofa!" The Inkman proclaimed, oblivious to the situation, "Ha ha!"

"Dude, you broke our vases!" Adam yelled angrily,

"I did?" The Inkman looked at the wreckage, "Ah! Do not worry!" the Inkman pointed up, "My Super Inkredible Super-Glue will take care of this!" he pulled out his signature spray bottle.

After gathering some of the shards and few minutes of spraying, the three vases were once again whole.

"Wow!" Eve clapped her hands, "Thank you, Inkman!"

"No problem!" The Inkman said, "Just give them a few seconds to harden and a few minutes to become clear!" he said, "Now! Time to go to the TV!" he went back to the source of the problem.

"I never should have doubted you, Inkman." Adam grinned.

"A lot of people do." The Inkman said, "That is until I fix their problems!" he said and got behind the TV, "Here, hold this." he took out his super glue spray bottle.

"Oh, ok." Eve said and grabbed it.

"Hm..." The Inkman looked back behind, "It seems they forgot a screw!" he alerted, "No worries! One dab of my Super Inkredible Super-Glue will fix this!" he said and tried to reach for his solution.

However, since he could not see, our hero accidentally back handed the solution off Eve's hands.

"Ah!" Eve yelped and stepped aside, avoiding a splash of glue but accidentally slapping The Inkman in the arse.

"AH!" The Inkman gasped and jumped back, but took the television in the movement.

KRASH! The TV was knocked out off its mount and broke into pieces on the ground.

"My TV!" Adam yelled, "Oh no!"

"It was your partner's fault!" The Inkman said as he rubbed his behind, "She struck me!"

"It was an accident!" Eve growled,

"Oh yeah!?" The Inkman growled, "So I guess pulling your plug is also an accident!" he yelled and reached for it.

Big Mistake.

ZAP! A huge surge of electricity escaped the outlet.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The Inkman yelled as he was being shocked, "ZZAZAZAZAZAA!" he spazzed up and down.

"Eve, No!" Adam yelled in horror, "Oh no! We killed him! That's 4 times the lethal dosage!"

"Ha!" Eve shrieked and stepped back, soon slapping the wire out of the Hero's grip.

"Zaa... Za..." The Inkman muttered, "I was just... Testing... the current... of the electricity..." he coughed a bit.

"What?!" Adam said, "You're still alive?! Impossible! You should have dropped dead!"

"Can I have some water?" The Inkman said hoarsely as he sat down on the sofa.

The two inklings stared at each other in disbelief.

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"What a shocking experience!" The Inkman said as he said his goodbyes to the couple, "But I'm afraid I cannot stay."

"I'm still trying to wonder how you did not die.." Adam mumbled to himself, "That amount of surge would have taken down an Octobomber."

"Thank you for your day." The Inkman said, "And I hope you have a warranty on that television!" he ran to the broken window, "Da-da-da-da!" he sang and jumped out.

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"INKMAN! AWAY!" The Inkman yelled as he flew out of the apartment complex and back into Inkopolis.


AWWW! I ship it!

Hope you enjoyed these new chapters!

Stay tuned next week when The Inkman faces off against the Werewolf! Only on The Pretty Good Inkman!

THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN CENSORED BY SOVIET RUSSIA, NOTHING TO SEE HERE COMRADE.