Chapter VII: Graduation
xxx
Guilt.
The following morning – Blake was the first to wake up. She stretched her back groaning and wondering how on Remnant – was she able to gain thirty knots that was trailed up and down her spine?
Blake winced when she felt the knots tightened more instead of relaxing – so much for her cat-like flexibility it's absolutely futile.
She grumbled, "So much for an expensive couch – it's not comfortable at all."
The Faunus woman stood up holding her back and hobbled her way to the bathroom to freshen up.
It was 6:47 A.M – usually around the time – that little tickle in the Faunus's throat reminded her that she's due for a morning fix.
But the first order of business, check on Weiss. It's only been about five hours or so but Blake was worried. Quietly she walked into the bedroom and winced at the bright light that was already filling the room.
Her normal instinct was to hiss loudly – but she had to stifle it in case she woke up the literal sleeping beauty. Blake cocked her head to the side – it's definitely way too early to wake up Weiss after the night she had.
'She must've been exhausted after last night.' She thought.
Gently she pulled back the sheet low enough so that her two fingers are pressed against the base of Weiss's neck. Silently she counted the beats – almost fifty beats per minute. It's normal for sleeping.
A breath of relief.
Blake sat on the edge of the bed, keep her eyes on the smaller woman.
But regardless…last night doesn't change anything. They are still strangers who just so happened to run into a little bit of a problem.
She felt a buzz – and she fished for her phone.
Reminder: Board Ferry without 4 hours.
Blake clicked her tongue in annoyance – she'd completely forgotten about Ruby's graduation. She peered back on the slumbering Human. She rationalized that as a doctor she didn't want to leave patients without confirming that the patient is okay.
'What to do now?'
Just walk out?
'Admit you made a mistake and never interact with Weiss Schnee ever again?'
Blake sat on the bed with her hands on her head – no she was right. Weiss clearly doesn't want a friend. Not with someone like her.
Would it hurt to try again on more time?
But why give constant chances to someone – to people – people like Yang, people like Weiss –
Forget it. Blake can mull about it on the ferry ride to Patch.
Xxx
"Blake! You made it!"
Blake was slightly disoriented as she felt a lump crash into her arms, barely giving herself time to stand on her feet and carry a Human.
Grunting Blake glared at the smiling Human, "Ruby I'm not hat young for you to keep doing this to me."
Ruby who released her tight grip on her friend just gave her a cheeky smile, "its part of training you cat-like reflexes."
Blake rolled her eyes and smiled, "Alright crazy – now how early am I to the gradation?"
"It's not for a couple hours – so we can spend some time to catch up? And maybe…help me pack so I could move into your apartment after graduation is over?"
The Faunus slapped her forehead and sighed, "I should've expected that…give a girl a warning next time."
"I did the last time I visited! So it's not out of the realm of normal!" And with that Ruby trudged off toward the academy.
"Of course."
xxx
Eventually Blake had let Ruby one off with the rest of the would-be graduates at the back end of the auditorium.
Blake fiddled with the seat ticket in hand – unsure how to feel with what Ruby just revealed to her before she left.
"Hope you don't mind sitting next to my dad, Blake." Ruby said, "He really doesn't bite."
She rolled her eyes and muttered, "If his name practically means dragon – I'm pretty sure he does."
Taking a deep breath – she weaved between the other family members of other students before finding a blonde-haired man sitting on of the seats.
Steeling herself, she bowed to the older man in respect before taking a seat next to him. The blonde didn't really acknowledge her presence except for a low grunt.
There was at least another 15 minutes until the ceremony started – and Blake wasn't entirely sure if she should say anything to the man sitting next to her.
Tense silence was the understatement of the day. But luckily Blake had packed some reports in her backpack so that she could read just in case. The graduation ceremony is expected to be boring anyways up until the point of watching Ruby walk down the aisle. The Faunus couldn't really care for the valedictorian speech nor the dean speech – it's mostly some regurgitated words that really has not depth.
But that's just her opinion.
She checked her phone – frowning that there's still no response to her message to Weiss. There was nothing she could do about it and she'd hate to bother her more than she already had.
"How have you been Blake?"
Blake stiffened but forced herself to reply, "I'm…okay."
"I see. That's good."
Another brief silence between them.
"I hate to do this here at Ruby's graduation of all things. I know Ruby invited you – she'd want you her. But when I see you – I just – "
Blake's ears flattened, she swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat.
"I wanted Yang here. But she's not here." Taiyang said quietly – his fists were balled and Blake was suddenly on alert. Her muscles were tensed and ready to fire if he tried anything.
But then Tai's figure sagged as if tired from keeping his anger reeled in. Tai's eyes looked up to Blake wearily and the Faunus tried to maintain her stare without caving in.
"This is Ruby's day…I want to be happy for Ruby. My little girl is going to be a crime-fighter. Like her mom, like her other mom, and like her sister."
Taiyang breathed and looked at Blake with heart-broken eyes.
"Too many important women in my life are just gone Blake. I don't think you understand how much – just how much it breaks me on the inside whenever I look at you. I thought I lost enough…I thought that after Summer and after Raven…I wasn't going to lose another one."
Blake curled her hands in a tight ball – her long nails already drawing blood on the inside of her palms. She needed to keep her air of indifference. She needed to.
"And then Yang's gone…and all I have left in the world is Ruby." He laughs like it's an incredible miracle.
"And then she tells me that she wants to spend the rest of her young rookie das as a new detective with you in Atlas." He said sharply – almost with a bite at the end of his sentence.
"I would've been fine if she went to Menagerie, Vacuo, or stayed in Vale…but it baffles me on why she would choose Atlas."
"And she tells me – it's because – she'd feel at ease knowing that it's Yang's alma mater. Now. I. Don't. Buy. That. One. Bit."
Blake flinched as he pounded his fist against the armrest with each word.
"Mr. Rose-Xiao-Long…"
'Maybe there is a reason that not even I know about Ruby's stay in Atlas…I probably shouldn't tell him that Ruby never discussed this with me.'
"I know I can't change her mind…Just promise when Ruby is with you in Atlas – don't do what you did to Yang."
Blake bowed her head respectfully and went back to reading her report. All the while the guilt was starting in the pit of her stomach – and it didn't seem like it was going away anytime soon.
xxx
It was an excruciating wait – two and half hours of long waiting. But it was worth it when Ruby walked down the aisle – waving her graduating cap in hand – Blake couldn't help but tear up at the thought. She never thought she'd be around to see such a coming of age event. Birthdays or graduation parties were never something to be celebrated when she was growing up. She didn't even remember hers – if she ever had one.
The ceremony was over and she rushed to find Ruby and gave her a genuine hug – holding her longer than she would have normally. Ruby chuckled unsure why her broody friend was suddenly so affectionate. But it didn't stop Ruby from giving her an equally strong hug.
"I finally did it Blake! I graduated! Look out city of Atlas you're new rookie detective is ready to kick some butt! Whoo!"
Blake just held her a bit tighter – "I know Ruby and I'm so happy for you."
When she released Ruby, the little Human turned around to give her dad a tight hug as well. She tried to look away because it was a tender moment between them but then Blake found Taiyang's stare – and it was a warning.
'Please look after her.'
Blake gulped but nodded solemnly.
'I promise to not make the same mistake.'
"Now let's go get some pancakes! And I want to go until our bellies pop!" Ruby exclaimed.
"Anything you want Rubes…anything you want is on me today!" Taiyang said as he led the trio toward the nearest pancake house.
xxx
Several hours later, Blake was standing out in the balcony of the hotel room with Ruby sleeping soundly in the other room. She plucked out a lone cigarette, lit it and inhaled slowly.
As she exhaled, she contemplated about her day.
Ironically – this was honestly her first smoke of the day and it was already 1:17 A.M. If she was back in Atlas – she'd be on her sixth or maybe her ninth if she was having a bad day. And somehow through the whole day – Blake was able to stave off her need for a smoke.
She felt more anxiety than before, but perhaps it was because she was in the constant company of Ruby and Taiyang her needs were reigned in. Eventually the two party animals – Ruby and Taiyang – finally stopped sharing embarrassing stories of undergraduate life, drinking and crying and finally separated for one last time.
But now that Ruby was asleep – it's dawning on the Faunus that Ruby was coming back to Atlas with her. To live as a detective and as live alongside Blake as her roommate. Before the sudden announcement that her friend initiated without warning – it was overwhelming for the older woman.
First of all it would be the first time in about a year or so since she had a roommate.
Second and most importantly, Blake knew that she hadn't really addressed things with Ruby.
It was complicated and a lot of feelings that Blake wasn't able to sort out while she was and still is currently in her depressive slump. But it always revolved around one person – the link between Ruby and herself.
Yang Rose-Xiao Long. Ruby's older half-sister and her former lover.
Is it crazy to think that Blake can see so much of Yang inside of Ruby?
Aside from the obvious difference – they both share that same silly grin, they both share the passion to protect others, and they both love unconditionally to those who think they deserve it.
She can't deny that having Ruby around makes her think about Yang. She wasn't entirely sure how she was going to cope with that.
"I wonder if Ruby blames me for what happened to Yang?" She whispered as she breathed out smoke.
"Why would I blame you Blake?"
Blake gasped – dropping the cigarette on to the floor. She backpedaled to see Ruby in her PJ's looking forlorn and upset. She cursed inwardly and put on the cigarette and distanced herself as much as she could so that she doesn't spread the eerie scent of smoke. Ruby seemed to sense this and chose not to walk closer to the Faunus for answers.
"And I didn't know you smoked Blake."
Blake avoided her stare, choosing to stare at the floor, "You weren't supposed to know."
Ruby shrugged and walk to sit on the nearby chair of the balcony. "I always knew."
Blake frowned, "How?"
"You dated my sister. She did the same thing for a while. But Yang stopped. At least that's what she did for me."
The Faunus – almost felt anger – "Are you implying I have to stop smoking for you?"
"I'm a grown adult Blake – maybe not in your eyes – but you can do anything you want." Ruby said sadly, "Even though I don't agree with it. "
Silence passed between them.
"But like Yang…I know you would do everything in your power to stop what hurts me."
Blake clenched her fist and turned her back to Ruby. It was such a Ruby thing to say. It was not supposed to elicit guilt inside of her. It was just a fact.
She would do most things – actually anything – for Ruby. She would do anything for Ruby if it meant keeping Yang happy.
"I do it because…"
"My sister I know." Ruby said simply. "Everything you do is because of my sister. Is it not? Blake?"
"…It's not that simple." Blake growled pointing to the discarded cigarette, "This was before Yang or you came into my life."
Blake didn't know why tears are starting to build behind her eyelids. Maybe it's because she wasn't always so honest.
"That's not a good enough explanation. And I'm sure as hell you did not give that excuse to my sister when she asked you why you smoked." Ruby pressed.
"…Then what Ruby? I know it's not about the smoking…what else is there that you are not telling me?"
"Tell me what happened to Yang."
"It's complicated."
"What isn't complicated in this world Blake?! Tell me why the sky is blue Blake? Is that complicated?! My sister can't just be okay one day and then not be the next. There's something there and you're not telling me!"
"Ruby…I'm telling you that I don't know…I just don't have the answers that you're looking for. Can't you see that this is hurting me more than you know?" Blake pleaded.
"Oh and you're struggling?" Ruby questioned with a laugh, "You're struggling…if you're struggling…what about my dad? What about me?! My sister is gone – and the one person who knew her best besides me won't say anything?! What kind of…what kind of person are you to deprive me of the truth by just disappearing without going out of your way to find out what happened to the person you loved?!"
"And you don't think I know that?! I'm just…" Blake deflated, "I'm just trying to do what's best for you."
"By distancing yourself? By leaving me in the dark?! You are my last link to Yang – you can't do that to me. I deserve more than just silence. She's someone I care about too! You don't get to internalize this by yourself – she's my sister!"
"And she was my everything, Ruby…I was about to marry her. I was ready for that life with her… Ruby…you know that…" Blake breathed in deeply – trying to keep herself form breaking down. Ruby was nearly hysterical now, nothing would be resolved if she broke down too.
"I did distance myself – because I thought you'd hate me and I'd save you the trouble by just disappearing."
"Some saint you are Blake." Ruby scoffed, "I didn't need more distance. I want closure – how was that so hard to understand? Yang knows that – and she out of all people would know that about me."
"I was wrong – I'm…"
"I don't need your apology!" Ruby yelled finally raising her voice for the first time that night.
"Then what do you want from me Ruby?!" Blake choked – dropping to her knees.
And for the first time that night Ruby was stunned, unsure how to answer back. Just seeing the older woman on her knees – holding her hands to her chest like she was trying to hold herself in case she fell apart by Ruby's words.
She never saw the stoic woman look so distraught. It was painful to watch – someone who seemed so untouchable practically falling apart by her own words.
But Ruby's heart was tied in knots. Ruby wanted to blame Blake – for everything she's been through. She wanted to when she knew she got the chance to see the Faunus woman after so long. After graduation – she was supposed to lay out all her pent up feelings onto the older woman. And maybe she would've got her answers.
"I don't know. Not yet." Ruby admitted – but her fists remained clenched. "But I know that right now – I can't just hate you. I already had that phase."
Ruby picked up the discarded pillow and walked toward the window.
"Why are you so insistent with staying with me then Ruby in Atlas? You could be anywhere else but there with me." Blake sniffled.
"Don't get me wrong. I'm here to find out what happened. And when I do – I'll figure out what I'm supposed to do about my feelings for you."
Blake had to laugh lightly – wiping her eyes. "You do have your sister's temper."
"I share a lot with her. And that includes my frustration with you. When we get to Atlas…this is not over. We can be friends – but – just know that until I know what happened – we're just…"
"Roommates."
Ruby's face was tense, "Yeah. That. Goodnight Blake."
When Ruby went back inside to sleep presumably, Blake did what she did best. She fished out another cigarette and shakily lit it.
The conversation with Ruby – that was more jarring hen her conversation with Weiss. She supposes she expected this.
Is this Ruby's way of punishing her?
Heavens should know that Blake deserves more than that.
What's done is done.
But Ruby was honest – and if Blake was honest herself – she doesn't even know what she wanted to hear from Ruby too.
Maybe to be forgiven? But Blake knows she can't forgive herself just yet.
Maybe that's Ruby is trying to convey to her?
Figure it out – what her feelings meant, what weight it has for her relationships that she will maintain or lose because of all this misplaced guilt.
Blake scooted her body until her back was pressed against the railing of the balcony, letting the chilly iron bars press against her frame.
When she was younger she would've wanted anything to pierce her heart if it meant not feeling anything.
Right now the cold bars were enough to ground herself to reality – to remind her that she was still part of this world and that her mind is merely just trying to rebuild its walls after that fight with Ruby.
She willed herself to slow her accelerating heart rate and her breathing – she didn't need a self-induced panic attack to occur when Ruby just in the other room.
Blake didn't want the extra pity right now. She didn't want to give more ammunition to Ruby, Taiyang, or anyone else for that matter.
She pressed her forehead against her knees – trying to sort out the many thoughts in her mind.
What was she supposed to do next when she and Ruby arrive in Atlas?
Buzz! Buzz!
Text Received: 1:13 A.M.
+XXX-XXX-XXXX
Thank you for last night.
Text Sent: 1:17 A.M
+XXX-XXX-XXX
You're welcome.
But you should be asleep Ms. Schnee.
Did you not read my note?
It's Doctor's orders.
Text Received: 1:19 A.M.
+XXX-XXX-XXXX
It's too late for a paragraph response…
You should sleep too 'Doctor'.
I'll sleep if you do.
Text Sent: 1:20 A.M.
+XXX-XXX-XXXX
I am a Doctor mind you.
How can I be sure that you'll sleep?
Text Received: 1:23 A.M.
+XXX-XXX-XXXX
Call me.
