A/N: Happy OUAT Day! And now, the very complicated backstory is revealed. Why is Gold being such a douche/why does he personally have it out for Regina? What is the deal with Robin? It's time to find out. (This was actually the idea that popped into my head that prompted me to write the story in the first place, so I hope you enjoy!)
"Oh my God, Regina, that was incredible. Thank you for that," Emma said as they got off the elevator and walked back to Regina's hotel room. The massages were relaxing and just what Emma needed, although she was trying to forget the moans of pleasure she heard Regina make during the session… she did not need to be thinking about that right now. She silently cursed Ruby for putting that idea in her head in the first place.
Regina opened the door and the pair walked inside, Emma immediately sitting down at the end of the bed and taking off her shoes. She saw Regina take a few steps and then stop, almost as if she was working up the courage to say something. She finally did: "Emma, you're of course under no obligation to stick around, but I'm done with the Con for the rest of the day, so you're welcome to stay if you'd like. I'm probably going to lay low, watch another movie and order dinner, if you want to join me."
Emma held back a laugh, thinking that it was ridiculous that Regina seemed nervous. "I'd love to."
Regina smiled. "Okay, good. I'm going to go take a quick shower and rinse off all these oils. There are some takeout menus on the dresser if you want to pick something, and the room service menu is still next to the phone. I'll be back out in a few."
"Sounds good! Thanks, Regina." Emma got up and walked over to the dresser to browse through the menus after Regina made her way to the bathroom. Emma heard the shower turn on and as she picked up the next menu option, she absentmindedly glanced up and quickly blushed. Regina must not have fully latched the bathroom door, and it had started to open. From where she was standing she could see the shower reflecting in the mirror through the cracked door. She immediately turned around when she caught a glimpse of Regina's nude form stepping into the shower. "Damn it, Swan," she scolded herself under her breath.
Regina came back into the room a few minutes later after her shower in a fluffy white robe. "The shower is all yours, if you want it," she said, drying her hair with a hand towel. "Did you decide where you want to order dinner from?"
"Oh, yeah. The hotel restaurant is fine – I was thinking either a burger or the lobster mac and cheese. Surprise me."
"Ugh, I would kill for a good burger," Regina said. "But, the hotel burgers suck. Actually, none of the burgers I've ever had when I'm in town for this Con have been good."
"In that case, I'll take the lobster mac and cheese. And the best burgers in Maine are at Granny's Diner in Storybrooke," Emma said, matter-of-factly. "It's totally an old-school diner, but her burgers are insane," she said, grabbing an extra towel out of the linen closet and heading into the bathroom.
"The food will be here in five minutes," Regina said when she heard the bathroom door open.
Emma emerged in the same denim shorts she had worn all day, but in a new t-shirt she had purchased from one of the vendors that morning. Her long blonde hair was still wet, and she was in the process of putting it into a loose side braid. She noticed Regina had ditched the hotel bathrobe and had changed into a pair of leggings and a plain grey tank top. "Great, thanks." Emma paused for a few seconds before sitting down on the bed next to Regina, in the same spot she had been when they watched the movie earlier. "Hey, Regina, can I ask you something?"
Regina looked up from the magazine she had been reading. "Of course. What's up?"
Emma took a deep breath, hoping that she wasn't overstepping. "You can totally tell me it's none of my business, but what was up with that encounter with Gold in the hallway before we went to the spa? I get the sense that there's a lot more to that story than him randomly deciding to harass you for the week."
Regina nodded. "So you picked up on that, huh?"
"Well, yeah. It was kind of obvious," she said. When Regina looked down at her hands and started to fidget with her wedding band, Emma continued. "Look, like I said you don't owe me any explanation. But, it seems like he's the primary cause of your stress the past few days, so if you want to talk about it, I'm here. I've been told I'm a good listener."
Regina sighed and put her magazine on the nightstand before turning toward Emma and beginning her explanation. "It's a really long story, but the gist is that Gold is concerned about my reputation in the media, and by extension his show's reputation, particularly because of fans who are hoping that my character and Ingrid's character will finally hookup. They've projected some of that onto us as actors, so it's not just our characters anymore. That's one of the reasons why Ingrid and I are rarely ever at the same Con at the same time…even though there's absolutely nothing happening there, he wants to keeps us separated to avoid feeding the fangirl rumors."
When Regina paused, Emma nodded, knowing that Regina and Ingrid's characters were a popular ship among the fans…to be honest, she shipped them, too. "Okay, but if there's nothing happening there, why is he freaking out about you hanging out with me? And why is he giving you such a hard time in general?"
"Well, Gold and I have a bit of a history," Regina continued, but she stopped when she saw the look of disgust on Emma's face. "Eww God no, not like that."
"Okay, good. That was a mental image I really didn't need in my head."
"Yeah, me neither." Regina shook away that disturbing thought and continued her explanation. "Gold's brother knew my father, so we had crossed paths a few times both professionally in the industry and through our families before Frozen Mirror ever existed. Gold became aware that my best friend Mal and I were kind of together briefly back in college and for a bit afterward, so his concerns now aren't totally unfounded. About a year or two into our show, some photos surfaced that some of my college friends had posted on Facebook from back in the day. They didn't have their privacy settings configured, so they ended up being accessed by the public and circulated when I started getting an active fanbase. They were relatively innocuous and pretty typical for early 20-something behavior, but of course people saw what they wanted to see."
Emma remembered Ruby's comment at the earlier panel about some photographs that brought into question Regina's sexuality. "Yeah, Ruby mentioned something about some photos she had seen on social media. I haven't seen them though, so I didn't know what she was talking about."
"They're really not that bad... it's not like there were photos of us naked or going at it. I knew I wanted to go into acting from a young age, so in college I was always cautious about what I did in public and when photos might be taken. These weren't a big deal. Mal and I are holding hands and smiling at each other or hugging. I think there's one where we're she's kissing me on the cheek and the shoulder in a pool, and then there's one of us passed out and spooning on the floor of a friend's dorm room, but that was when we were really just friends and before anything more happened between us… and we were very drunk. As you have experienced, I like to cuddle after I drink."
Emma blushed. "Yeah, I noticed that."
"But, the fans found the pictures and started saying that I was secretly a lesbian, 'or at least bi,' and living in the closet," Regina said, making air quotes with her fingers and rolling her eyes. "But, I wasn't…at least not really. Mal was the only woman I've ever felt attracted to, and otherwise I've always dated men, so I never considered myself bisexual, much less a lesbian. We never labeled what we had, so I never even considered her a girlfriend in that way. I mean, I just assumed we were really close friends who enjoyed hooking up now and then and that it was usual college behavior. But, admittedly I've never had that type of relationship with any other female friends, so it probably was more than that. We broke off whatever it was we were doing after I moved to LA to pursue acting since Mal stayed in Seattle after we graduated and because I did want to be mindful of my image since my career was just getting started. That was nearly 15 years ago. We also realized that although we cared about each other a lot, we were better off as friends, which we have been ever since. She's still one of my best friends, but we haven't done anything more than kiss on the cheek since like 2004."
"So Gold is freaking out because you experimented with one woman back in college? That still seems like a bit of an overreaction."
Regina shrugged. "Right? It's ridiculous, when you think about it. But, the photos pop up from time to time, and once they're out there no one cares how long ago it was. On the internet, something from a decade ago may as well have been from last week. Nothing disappears."
"Why don't you just say that you were drunk and in college the next time they come up again? Then you could address it and kill the rumors."
Regina shrugged. "At this point, it seems like anything I say would look like I'm trying too hard to deny it, or it might backfire given that I have a lot of gay fans and I don't want to alienate them. I would just tell the truth, but Gold and the network would kill me if I admitted to any sort of relationship with Mal. It's better if I just pretend they aren't there and not engage or acknowledge their existence."
"Wait, why would they kill you? Are they really that homophobic?"
She nodded. "Sadly, yeah. The network president is extremely conservative, and we're a 'family show' and a 'family network'. Once some fans decided that my character should hook up with Ingrid's character, the network and producers were on edge, especially since there weren't any other LGBT-friendly shows on primetime network TV six or seven years ago and people still weren't all that accepting. They actually told us to downplay our interactions with each other on screen to try and remove some of the chemistry the fans saw between us. Since I was still single at the time, I didn't have any boyfriends to flaunt around at events, which immediately made people get suspicious, because apparently if a woman in her late 20s doesn't have a boyfriend, it must mean she's a lesbian," Regina realized she was starting to ramble, so she took a deep breath. "But anyway, even though I've only ever dated men since Mal, Gold is still paranoid. Especially this week because I was just out visiting with Mal and some of my other friends last weekend. Sure enough, some people posted photos that showed Mal and me laughing and hugging at a winery, and the fans wanted to turn that into something it isn't. I see her once or twice per year, and Gold always gets cagey because the original photos usually resurface right after I spend time with her. And then you got dragged into it because someone posted photos from the karaoke bar they took with some of the cast, but you and I were sitting together in the background. So, Gold thinks we're having some illicit affair...and apparently so do some of the fans, given the comments they left on the photos that Gold found. It just added fuel to the fire."
"That's insane," Emma commented.
"I know. But, it is what it is. I always remind Gold that Mal and I are just friends. Plus, it's probably better that people see that we're still friends. If we were true exes, we wouldn't still hang out casually. But, he doesn't see it that way. He just wants to protect his precious show at all costs, even if it means making my life hell half the time."
"But you're married now, so why is he concerned? Shouldn't that reassure him that there's nothing to worry about with Mal or anyone else?"
Regina laughed. "Well, that's actually a much longer and more complex situation, and it definitely requires wine. Hang on."
Regina got off the bed and walked over to the mini bar, pulling out the half-empty bottle of rosé she opened earlier in the week. As she handed the bottle to Emma, room service knocked at the door to deliver their giant order of lobster macaroni and cheese. She tipped the server and brought the box over to the bed, sitting back down and digging out a forkful before sliding the box over to Emma.
"I love Robin. I really do. He's one of the most caring men I have ever met, and he is one of my best friends," Regina started to explain as she paused to take a drink directly from the wine bottle, not bothering to get a glass. "But, I'm not in love with him. I never have been."
At that revelation, Emma's head shot up from the spoonful of cheesy lobster she was currently inhaling. "What?"
"Our marriage is essentially a friends-with-benefits situation, but the benefits are quite literal rather than sexual. We were both in a place in our lives where we needed the stability that marriage provided, and while we weren't in love, the arrangement was mutually beneficial." Regina stopped her tale again to take scoop out another bite of from the room service container, while Emma just stared at her.
"Okay, I'm confused, and I'm sorry if this sounds really judgmental, but I don't get it. How do either of you benefit from a marriage where you're not actually in love with each other?"
"That's a fair question, and it's complicated. And a really long story."
"I've got time, if you want to tell me. If not, I understand. I don't want to invade your privacy."
Regina shook her head. "No, it's fine. We're already halfway down the rabbit hole, we may as well go all the way to Wonderland." She took another drink of wine, possibly to help encourage her to continue explaining the situation to Emma. "Robin and I actually met briefly through my father a year before I was cast in the Frozen Mirror pilot. Robin had been an executive chef at a place my dad had frequented, and he had hired Robin to cater this annual benefit he threw every year. At the time, Robin was getting ready to move back to Montréal to live near his parents and wanted to open his own restaurant there. Marian, his first wife and mother to his two sons, had died in a car accident a year earlier, so he wanted to be closer to his family to have them help him raise his young sons…Roland was only a few months old at the time Marian was killed. After my father's event, Robin moved back to Montréal, and my father ended up being one of the financial backers for his new restaurant. He always respected Robin, so he wanted to invest in him."
Emma nodded but didn't say anything, waiting for Regina to continue.
"It turns out that Gold's brother is another investor in Robin's restaurant, which is how Gold and Robin met. When my father died during the hiatus between seasons two and three of Frozen Mirror, I met Robin again at his funeral…he had come to pay his respects to my father. Gold came to the funeral, too, and when he saw us talking, he got it in his head that Robin and I would make an attractive couple. This all happened right around the time when the femslash fans had really overtaken the fandom and started shipping my character with Ingrid's and shipping us in real life. Gold was worried because Ingrid and I were both single, so he wasn't pleased by the speculation that we were secretly involved. Gold strongly encouraged me to take Robin to the network's season premiere party, which I agreed to because I did enjoy Robin's company. He had turned out to be a good friend, helping me through my father's death since he had spent the previous few years working through his grief over his wife's passing."
"So then what happened? How did you go from a premiere party fake date to a fake marriage? That's quite a leap."
"Well, Gold started inviting Robin to network parties and hiring him to cater show events, which inevitably gave him the opportunity to put us together long enough for a few photos that Gold could then send out to the press or post online. A lot of the fans seemed to love us together, which encouraged Gold even more. Later that year, at the end of season three, I started getting some strange fanmail, beyond the usual declarations of love from young fangirls that I had grown accustomed to. This was from a middle-aged man named Sidney. He started sending me inappropriate gifts, asking me out on dates, and showing up on set to watch the show film. That part wasn't unusual because we film on the maritime ports of Nova Scotia, which is all public property, but he lingered a bit too long and tried to get too close. A few weeks later, things started showing up at the house I was renting, which scared me. It's one thing when things show up to set, but this felt way too personal and like a line had been crossed, even though he never made any direct threats. I mentioned all this to the producers and they did their best to keep Sidney Glass from set, but the gifts continued to appear both on set and at my home."
"That's terrifying."
"Yeah, it was. I was really starting to freak out at that point, especially because I lived alone that house. Anyway, Gold invited me to lunch one day while we were doing a press tour in Montréal, and conveniently he took me to Robin's restaurant. It turns out he asked Robin to join us as well. He then sat us down with a literal proposal: he told us to get married."
Emma nearly choked on the wine she had just sipped. "What?!"
Regina nodded. "The alleged gossip about Ingrid and me had continued to spread, despite his orchestration to make it look like Robin and I were a couple. Gold thought a marriage would help quell the lesbian rumors significantly, and he thought it might help get rid of my stalker by letting him know that I was seriously involved with a man. He figured that would make Sidney back off, and if nothing else, Robin's presence might help keep me safe if anything were to escalate. Meanwhile, Robin would benefit because I was becoming more well-known, and therefore I could help promote his restaurant. He had been hoping to expand to a second concept restaurant in another part of Montréal, so this would help him do it faster and guarantee its success. As Gold put it, with a few tweets and photos from me, half of Quebec would be in line for his food. Plus, Gold knew that I loved Robin's kids. I never saw myself getting married or having kids of my own, but I adored those boys from the first time I met them. Roland and Henry seemed to be taken with me as well, so this would give them a mother figure in their life, even if it wasn't true love for Robin and me. Gold then left us to talk it over, and we realized that as crazy as it was, the arrangement did make sense for both of us. We had become very good friends over that year, so we figured we could easily make it believable and we would be okay with it. Neither of us had the time or energy to actively date, so it's not like we'd be missing out on anything better by playing house with each other. I figured it might be nice to have a companion to come home to, even if it was just a roommate…which is essentially what we are."
Emma frowned. "I can't imagine having to live like that."
Regina shrugged. "It's not ideal, but it worked. After we decided to agree to Gold's idea, Robin and I came up with an engagement story. We said that he proposed in his restaurant's kitchen after cooking a private dinner for the two of us. We went to a vintage jeweler down the street that night, and we picked out a ring and took a few selfies in the kitchen. I announced the engagement and told the story on my Instagram and Twitter accounts the next morning. Within weeks the letters from Sidney completely stopped, much to my relief. By the beginning of season four, we were married. We more or less eloped in Quebec City during a long weekend, after arranging a very detailed prenuptial agreement to protect both of us since we knew this wasn't going to be a life-long commitment. We had a small number of friends and family there to get photos and make it look believable, but we didn't want a big wedding that might make the ruse blow up in our faces. I don't think either of us would have been able to pull it off if we had to declare our undying love for each other in front of everyone we knew. Even today, no one other than Gold knows …well, and now you…and my therapist Archie because one day I lost it and confessed everything to him. But even Roland and Henry don't realize the truth yet."
Emma looked surprised. "Well, for what it's worth, you guys are very believable. I have seen the photos you've posted, and you guys look like you're in love."
Regina smiled. "Robin is surprisingly a very convincing actor. He's great when we're out in public together. The fans love him. It's been almost four years and he still pulls it off, even though we're both exhausted by it. We even tried to be a couple when we first got married, thinking that would be easier… that maybe if we tried hard enough we would change our minds and learn to love each other in that way. We had date nights, went on vacations as a family, even had sex a few times, but we realized that we would never be anything more than really great friends – there's no sexual or romantic chemistry between us. But, we are able to look the part in public and in the photos we post of us around our house, so that's all that matters…at least in Gold's eyes. He thinks we've been slipping, though, which is why he was extra hard on me this week. Usually Robin and I are really good about portraying our relationship on social media, but we've both been preoccupied with other things that we haven't been maintaining the standards Gold set for us."
"It's none of my business, but are you really okay with this? It sounds kind of miserable."
Regina looked down and shrugged. "Like I said, it's far from ideal. But, it works. Or at least is does most of the time, until one of us starts to fall for someone else. Then we have to figure out how to handle it."
"Does that happen often?" Emma asked.
Regina shook her head. "No. Almost never." The tear Regina had been trying to hold back finally escaped, and Emma wiped it away with her thumb before she could think better of it.
"Regina," she said tentatively, waiting for the brunette to look her in the eye as she cradled Regina's cheek in her palm. "What's wrong?" Emma didn't really need to ask, because she knew. But, she figured Regina needed to say it out loud for herself. Emma could tell that this conversation was in some way cathartic for Regina, so she wanted her to say what she needed to say.
"Even though I love Robin, it's lonely to never really be in love, or to even have the opportunity to try to find it," she finally whispered, slowly focusing her eyes back on Emma's.
Emma understood that feeling. As Ruby so bluntly pointed out earlier in the day, Emma had never been in a relationship, and she had never been in love. She had always told herself that she didn't need to love anyone because she was fiercely independent, but she knew she only convinced herself of that as a defense mechanism. Emma had become so self-conscious about her lack of relationship experience that she had resigned herself to being single, because who would want to be with someone who was almost 30 and had never been in a serious relationship? But Emma knew that somewhere buried inside herself, she desperately craved a connection like that.
Regina and Emma continued to look at each other, suddenly feeling heavy with the thick tension that surrounded them. Emma subconsciously bit her lower lip, causing Regina to lean toward her and rest her hand on Emma's thigh. As Regina started to close the distance, deciding that she would finally act on the pull she felt toward Emma, there was a knock at her door.
"Mills, open up!" Graham's voice echoed throughout the room as the two women bolted upright and moved away from each other, startled.
Regina gave Emma an apologetic look before she walked over to the door, leaving Emma questioning whether Regina was sorry for the interruption or for their almost-kiss. Emma got off the bed and moved over to the sofa, putting some physical distance between them. "What is it, Graham?" Regina asked as she opened the door.
"C'mon Mills, we're going swimming on the roof. Bring your hot friend," he winked at Emma when he saw her behind Regina.
"Graham, you're married," Regina rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, so are you," he smirked, causing Regina to tense up. If he noticed the change in her demeanor, he didn't say anything. "You both better be up there in five or the rest of us will come down here and haul your asses up there ourselves."
Regina closed the door as he walked away. "So, apparently we're going swimming."
Emma just smiled.
A/N: Guest reviewer Admiral (since I can't PM you as a guest): I appreciate your feedback, so thank you for writing a review! I had intentionally wanted to make Gold the producer rather than Regina's publicist because of the backstory I had worked out for him and the bigger picture...hopefully this chapter helped explain it :). I'm glad that you felt he cared too much about Regina's image, though, because I wanted that bit of mystery/uncertainty in the story as to why he was so focused on her specifically. As always with Gold, he's looking out for number 1. At the end of the day, he doesn't give a shit about Regina (which is why he couldn't be her publicist, since they actually have to care about their clients); he just wants to keep his show on the air.
Also, I fangirled so hard when I saw photos from SBUK3 yesterday and LP was wearing a Grateful Dead shirt haha (especially because I ordered that exact one a few days ago). I didn't realize she was a fan of theirs when I included that whole conversation in this fic, so that was a crazy realization. Here's hoping someone posts the full panel videos from the con on youtube soon.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I'm hoping I'll be able to stick to my twice/week updates, but if not then the next one will be up next Sunday. There are probably 3-ish more chapters to go.
