"You coming to bed," Hiei asked just opening the door to my room without knocking or bothering to ask if he could come in.
"What would you do if I had been naked and in the process of getting dressed?" I ask him as I look up from my laptop to see him walking up to my bed. I had already changed and took my show, so I was still clothed but that wasn't the point I was trying to make. Even though I wonder around the house in just a pair of shorts that might as well be underwear and a sports bra I didn't want Hiei to just walk into my room. I didn't want him walking in on me and I preferred my privacy. While I didn't like him just walking in I'm slowly growing used to it.
"I don't care," he replies really not caring one bit.
"Yeah well I do. I don't like people just walking into my room and I really don't like people walking in on me naked."
"I'm not going to ask for permission to enter a room."
"I know that," I sigh bookmarking the research page I was working on and saving the word document that had all of my research and references on it.
"You have your shirt on again," I comment as I place my laptop off to the side. It was a really stupid comment and I regretted it the moment it left my mouth, but it caught me a bit by surprise because last night I had only told him to get a shirt on out of frustration because he had flustered me so much. I never expected him to keep putting a shirt on and against my better judgment I found myself slightly disappointed. I like the way he looks with his shirt off, but it was fine either way because it kept me from thinking of the way he looks without it.
"If you don't want me to have it on then why did you make such a fuss yesterday?" He was reading my mind again, I know it but I wasn't sure whether or not I was telegraphing them again.
"You should learn how to shield your thoughts," he says as his answer as he turns his back and begins to walk out of the room.
"Maybe you should just stay out of my head," I say getting out of my bed and following him out of the room.
"I don't need to concentrate on your thoughts to know what you're thinking.
"Oh so you just know everything I'm thinking then. Fine what am I thinking right now?" I say challenging him and thinking something loud and clear for him to pick up.
I should slap you right now.
As I glare at his back he just stops walking all together. He doesn't move for a moment, but when he does he's only a few inches away from my face and looking me directly in the eyes with a blank look. I find my own eyes loosing that anger and slowly starting to soften, but I force them to stay a glare, an empty glare. He doesn't budge for a moment, but when he does it's not what I had expected. Instead of trying to kill me or walking away, he kisses me. The kiss so sudden and while ruff I had me and I myself did something I thought I would never do. I kissed him back and willingly while knowing that he is the thing I despise the most. I'm kissing the demon that has tried to kill me and he's kiss the half bred demon hunter that has tried to kill him, yet I don't think either one of us could be happier.
"That… wasn't what I… was thinking," I say a bit slow from the shock of the kiss and still a little out of breath.
"You were subconsciously," he answers before turning his back to me and continuing to the bedroom and like a good little puppy I follow behind him.
When we enter the room Hiei heads to the closet and takes off his shirt, most likely because he knows my real thoughts about the shirt. Instead of watching him or giving myself a chance to look at him without it again I head to the bed and crawl in on my side and turn my back to the closet.
"Your wound is almost healed," he says walking out of the closet with his shirt now off.
"It's the herbs I use," I say resisting the urge to turn around and look at him. He wanted to see what type of reaction he could get out of me, but I wasn't going to play into his game. He wasn't going to lure me in with his trick, though in the back of my mind I had the image of yesterday in my mind with him and his shirt off. I tuck my head in to my chest and blush at the image.
I should not be thinking like this, I tell myself sternly but that kiss had flustered me. I'm not sure if it truly meant anything to him, but when I kissed him back it was because I did want to kiss him. Not simply because I found him attractive, I really did like Hiei. Part the reason I was rude to him or snapped at him was because I was trying to push him away. I didn't want to let another person in Karen was more than enough of for me. There was someone in and having another person only lead to more complications, even if he knew my secret other life and what I really am I can't have another person in my life. I can't help fall for him though.
I sigh to myself and relax my muscles so I can fall asleep and get some rest.
"Mhm," I sigh comfortably as I curl closer to the familiar woody smell and the warmth that was coming from it. But as I lay there comfortably I feel something being placed around my waist like it belongs there.
"Mhm," I ask this time being jotted awake. I look at a pale nicely built chest that my face was snuggled into. It had been the cause of the warmth and familiar sent of woods. Looking upwards I can see Hiei's face as he looked down at me with a blank, softened expression. Turning my head to the side I make out Hiei's arm around my waist. I blink this time as I turn my head up towards Hiei's face again to just look at him.
I wasn't sure how to react this time. There was the part of me that wanted to yell at him and ask him what the hell he was doing, but that was the part that wanted to push him away. Another part of me was asking me why was I doing this? Why am I in the bed of a demon as I'm trying to not get killed by another demon, the demons are the problem! Why do I even think of this demon? Why did I kiss this demon last night? The final part of me was happy and content curled up next to him with his arm around me. That part of me is out winning the others as I stay where I am and slowly begin to close my eyes and curl closer to him. Despite the other two part of me I couldn't be happier right now. They couldn't win while I'm like this. At stupid part of me opening my heart and falling for him was out winning my others part that screamed out desperately for me to listen to them. They were too late though Inner was winning because Dream was here and they couldn't lose no matter how completely against my way of thinking this is. Inner wins.
"Lilly," Hiei says causing me to look up at him. "Karen's about to come up, unless you want her to find out you should head back to your room." Without a word I slid out of the bed and he removes his arm from around me.
We had been lying together for almost half an hour so it wasn't that big of a deal that I had to get up and leave the room. I was just a little upset that I had to go so suddenly. I was content and happy lying with Hiei, but we couldn't have Karen catch me in bed with Hiei. I wasn't a shame of kissing him or cuddling with him, or that there might actually be something going on between the two of us I just couldn't have anyone know that I was sharing a bed with a guy. Part of the reason I picked Hiei to begin with was so word wouldn't spread that I was sharing a bed with someone, to have Karen discover now would ruin everything.
I get in my room and head to the bathroom to make it seem as if I was already up and just starting the day when Karen gets here. It also helped me not feel like the worst friend ever because while I was hiding thing from her and I had to lie to protect her, I didn't want to lie to her now.
"Lilly," Karen calls as she knocks on the door. I turn around and start walking to her from the bathroom with the brush in my hair.
"What you need Karen," I ask as I brush my hair.
"I was wanting to talk to you for a bit," she says somewhat shyly and I know that she was going to ask about something that she felt bad for.
"Come on in," I say stepping aside for her to enter. From the look of my room you couldn't tell that I had never been in it tonight. I had my laptop on my bedside desk like always, my bed was perfectly made as I keep it, but my bathroom light was left on something I never do.
"I didn't wake you did I," she asks though she sees the bathroom light on.
"No I was in the middle of brushing my hair is all," I say putting my brush back and turning off the bathroom light since I was done brushing my hair. "Plus I woke up early today.
"Oh good. I wanted to come talk to you yesterday, but you didn't really seem to be in the mood." She says nervously picking at her nails as she sits on the edge of my bed.
"I've told you before just come to me if you need something, even if it's just to talk. I'm not completely heartless you know." My voice was stern and harsh as I finish talking, but she knows that I mean well.
"So what you need anyways?" I ask taking a seat beside her on my bed.
"Oh, I just wanted to let you know that we need to go grocery shopping. We've always bought things in mind with your lack of eating and my normal eating habits, but Yusuke and Kurabawa eat so much that they alone eat for two and Kurama eats properly. Between Hiei and you both though that makes one person typically, so we need to start buying food for seven people to get everyone feed properly." What she was saying was true but by the sudden smile on her face I could tell that wasn't the true reason she came here. The smile didn't hold the warmth that she always had, the warmth that I've grown dependent on over the years.
"Alright I'll go grocery shopping tomorrow after school, but what's the real reason that you've come up here for?"
"That's all," she says standing up to retreat out of the room.
"Karen," I say sternly as I grab her wrists.
"Mhm," she asks turning around to look at me innocently.
"You are the worst liar I've ever met," my voice was hard and cold but as I continued my face and voice softened, "but that's part of why I like you so much."
"Is Gemma messing with you again?"
"N-no," she stutters and I just sigh.
"Lilly you can't get in trouble again! What is Paul going to think if you do?" She was worried and I couldn't blame her for being worried. I was so close to getting expelled from that school, but I wasn't going to just sit around and let Karen get bulled by that slut.
"I'm just going to talk to her," I say not reassuring her very well.
"Your talks always end with a fight!"
"Not always, it didn't with Cathy," I say just to prove her wrong.
"One time!"
"It's not my fault they don't value their lives. Cathy was the only one that believed me that I would kill her if she messed with you."
"That's why I don't tell you usually because I know you will kill them!"
"How about this, I promise that if she does try to fight me I will not kill her." I make the promise knowing that she will believe me because I promised.
"If I can't trust your word then I can't trust you at all," Karen says repeating my own words.
"You know Karen while I live by that motto, anything and everything I haven't told you or that may seem deceitful I do it because I care and I'm trying my best to protect you. I've everything I've done for you is because I care." I say it knowing how dangerous it is to say because every time I think about how much she cares about me and how many times I have to lie or do something deceitful I hate myself even more. I've felt this way long before I ever knew that I'm a demon, so that's not the cause. The cause is Karen is my one and only true friend that has never done anything wrong, deceitful, or to hurt me because she only wants the best for me and to see that smile on my face that she has only seen once to come out and shine again. I hate having to keep secrets from her and I find myself as the worst friend ever, that is why when I make a promise or say I'll do something I always do, I might lie to protect her but I will never ever brake my word.
"Karen you might be cold but you have a bigger heart than anyone I know, even me. Your heart is just closed off to the world."
"That's not true Karen." I was closing myself off more than normal after opening myself up so much. It was my protection from that more fragile side of me.
"Any one without a big heart would not have totaled their favorite car and get hospitalized for a week just to save one little baby deer," she says as she pokes at me.
"I did like Rose," I sigh remembering my first sports car that I got. I had loved that car enough to even name. Half smirking to myself I remember how it got its name.
.::Flashack::.
"Lilly you have to name it! You love the thing so much don't you think it's only right?" Karen yells as I wash my car thought it was already clean.
"I don't have to do anything Karen," I say back as the two of us dried my unnamed car.
"But it only seems right," she argued back.
"Alright then what do you think we should name it?" I ask just to play along for a little bit longer.
"Well is it a boy or a girl?"
"A girl," I reply as I go for the wax now that we have finally finished washing and drying the car.
"Alright how about Forget Me Not, since it's light blue and your both flowers. One of the flowers just hasn't bloomed yet." I can see how hopeful she is as she hints this but I look over my shoulder and give her a very blank look.
"Karen," I say causing her to perk up her head in hopefulness, "that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"Well let's see what you can come up with," she challenges and I just look at my car.
"How about Rose," I say liking the idea as I look at my car.
"But it's not the color of a rose!"
"Yes it is, it's a pale blue rose because it's cold and always feels alone, but it does have someone that cares about. It's a rose that once it's coldness fade is radiant and full of color and life. The rose is just in hibernation right now."
.::End of Flashback::.
"We should get ready for the day; I'll do the cooking today." I say standing and leaving the subject like that. I'm not one to talk about the past, I would be happier to just leave things in the past instead of bringing them up.
"Are you sure," she asks hesitant because I never cook in this house.
"Yeah, you just relax for once." I stand up and start to walk to the door, but when she doesn't follow I look back at her. "Come on this isn't the first time I've offered to cook."
"Yeah, but for you to offer to cook you need to be in a good mood," she says cautiously.
"No not always I was in a really foul mood three months ago when I cook," I say just to keep the suspicion away.
"Yeah, but Lilly you are in a really good mood today and it's too early for that. Did you go out on one of your walks?" I stop for a moment to think, I didn't go on a walk but I can't tell her the truth, can I? If I do tell her the truth what is it? So far I don't know what's going on between Hiei and me. He kissed me and we cuddled this morning. Does that make us a couple in his eyes or is this just nothing? I haven't talked it over with Hiei and I don't want to be one of those annoying girls that bug the guy about it, so I haven't asked him.
"No, I just woke up in a good mood today," I say stick with the truth as much as I can until I knew myself.
"Oh, well that doesn't happen very often."
"Now let's go if I'm going to make what I plan on cooking I need to start now."
"Ok," she says back to her cheery self and follows behind me to the kitchen.
The moment I entered the kitchen I go start into over drive. I grabbed the eggs, strawberries, and everything else I needed. I first needed to get the strawberries to soak in a bunch of sugar, normally this part would take hours to get to where I need it but I know a couple of shortcuts to get the strawberries where I need them in half an hour. Once I'm done with the strawberries I begin to make the main part of the breakfast.
"Here you go," Karen says suddenly handing me a cup of tea.
"Thnx," I say taking it and begin to sip at the tea as I make the crepes.
"I haven't had these in ages! You should teach me how to make the!"
"It's not that hard and it's in the cook book, but you can watch if you want," I say turning the crepes so that they burn.
"Mhm, it smells good Karen. What are you making," Kurama asks before turning the corner.
"She's not," I say looking up at Kurama who was dressed for the day.
"Lilly's cooking this time, Shuichi." Karen smiles sweetly at Kurama and I can tell instantly that's she developing a crush on him.
"Careful fox," I warn as my eyes turn to Karen so that he could understand while Karen takes it as I'm telling him to not underestimate me.
"I won't," he says as his reply to me while still leaving Karen out of it.
"Good," I say going back to my food that was done, but there were still a few more batches to make.
"Lilly I didn't know that you cooked," Kurama says happily as he looks at the food I was make.
"I don't usually." I was back to the way I normally am. When it is Karen and me while I'm in a good mood it's easy for me to stay like that for a bit, but now that it wasn't just us I was closing off to everyone again. It's not something that I do on purpose, it just happens.
"Oh, Karen and I yesterday were talking about going grocery shopping."
"I'm going later today after school," I say not letting him finish talking.
"Oh, would you like some help?" He seemed a bit taken back by this. Did he honestly think I didn't do anything but pay the rent and hunt demons? I lived most of my life without Karen living with me so I do know how to take care of myself, though it may not always seem that way.
"No, I'm fine on my own."
"Serve yourself," I say now that I was done cooking I could hear everyone else coming down. I saw no need to continue the conversation since everything he had to say this morning seemed to just piss me off for the most part, so with my food served I walked past Kurama and sat down in my spot. I was being cold to everyone again, but while I know that I haven't given them something to go off by with me and I should at least seem friendly with them I couldn't bring myself to. Kurabawa and Yusuke are idiots and Kurama was annoying me. Yusuke and Kurabawa can get along with me at times, but in general they annoyed me. Kurama had his moments when he wasn't too bad himself, but right now I hated that he found me as some useless, lying, dependent person. He didn't see me as what I really am. He probably saw me as some trouble maker as well, but that's not me.
"Thnx for the food Karen it's delicious!" Yusuke shouts with a mouth full of food just to have Kurabar\wa to join him in shouting about how good the food is.
"This stuff is better than Kurama's cooking!"
"I didn't cook it, Lilly did," Lilly chucks just to shock the two of them. "Who Kurama anyways?"
"Kurama is a nick name they gave Shuichi," Hiei says as he bites into my cooking with a black face. I couldn't tell if he liked it or not, but he ate it so it must not of been too bad.
"Lilly made this?"
"Is there a problem with that," I ask Kurabawa with a blank look on my face. I've found over the years a blank look on my face could be scarier than a glare at times, this would be one of them.
"N-no it's just I didn't know you cooked! Karen always does the cooking so I just assumed that you didn't know how to cook!" He was panicking as he talked and it caused his voice to rise in a high pitched squeaky voice that almost made me laugh, but it only managed to get a smirk out of me.
"Where did you learn to cook Lilly," Kurama asked while looking at me with an encouraging smile. I just look down at my food for a bit. I wasn't sure how much I could share and even more so how much I can bring myself to share. Karen to an extent knew about my life before we became true friends, but I didn't want them to know anything about me. Still it was only a simple question so I could give them a simple version to the truth.
"I taught myself since my mother never cooked." It was the truth, but not all of the truth. My mother never cooked, but that was because she was busying herself with the demons of my back yard. She never paid attention to me or her eating habits to do the cooking and would bring the food out to her. Since she couldn't cook or teach me to cook I taught myself and used the cook book.
"No way! You taught yourself how to cook this good?" Yusuke didn't seem to believe me. Was it that hard to believe that I could cook something good?
"I had to cook for myself up until a few months ago," I say as my defense.
"Hurry up and eat, we have to head out soon." It was another one of those conversations that if it continued too long they would step over a boundary that I didn't want crossed. My boundaries are there as protection and to keep people out, if I went on for too long then there would be no point in boundaries and walls.
Silence fell over the group afterwards and we all ate without a word and when I stood everyone else seemed to think to it's time to go.
"I'm just getting changed and taking a shower, there's no need for you to all get up," I say not bothering to look back as I left.
The shower had to be taken in record time for me to be able to leave on time. I don't know how I pulled it off or remember most of it. I didn't enjoy the shower either because I had to take it so fast, but it was a shower so it doesn't make of a difference to me. I got changed like I usually do after drying myself off and was down the stairs with my car keys in hand in under seven minutes.
"There is now way you really took a shower," Yusuke says looking at my wet hair and school outfit.
"Well I did. So, are you coming with me or going with Kurama?" I ask walking out to the garage.
"With you of course," Kurabawa says alongside Yusuke as they raced to get to shot gun.
"Don't even think about it bakas," Hiei says and instantly they both back away from the door to let Hiei take shot gun.
"You'll all have to catch a ride home with Kurama after school because I have to go shopping," I tell the boys as I pull out of the garage.
"Alright," Yusuke says and we leave it at that as we drive off to school.
