Chapter 7 – The Breaking Point
I throw the stress-ball up in the air and catch it again.
"Did I tell you that the selling is increased by 30%?"
I look towards Justin who is sitting behind the reach wooden desk of his office. Smirking, I say "I didn't expect anything less. I'm the best after all."
Justin laughs. "Of course." He keeps going through the notes of the new issue of Up To Day and the way he concentrates on what he's doing, the way he writes notes so quickly and leads everything, it's fucking hot. I think I should really start getting a grip on what he makes me feel.
I'm currently lying on the sofa in his office. All we have been doing in the last two hours is talking. I was supposed to come here to work because lately, being around him, it's the only way in which I can relax and work. There are times when I wonder how we ended up this way.
"I have decided to start dating again."
The ball falls from my hand and I look at Justin. "What?"
"I said that I..."
"I heard what you say."
He glances up putting his pen down. "Then what..."
"Have you gone nuts? Did you suddenly realize that twenty-seven is old enough to settle down?"
"Calm down, Bri," Justin laughs and I'd like very much to slap him. "I didn't say that I'm going to find myself a husband. I just said that I want to date."
"What the fuck for?"
He shrugs. "I don't know. Talking with you about Tim, made me think about how things were with him." Justin stands up and comes to sit down next to me. We look at each other for a few minutes and then he resumes his speech. "When I was with him, sex was great." A small smile graces his beautiful face and he slightly blushes. "It was because after a while, we knew each other's body by memory. It was nice to know someone so much."
"So it would be for the sex?" This must be the stupidest reason to date, ever.
"Not just for that, but in part yes..."
"What about when we fuc..." he quickly stands up going back behind his desk. "Sorry, I know that you don't want to talk about it."
"It was the best night of my life," Justin says opening the drafts of the new issue of the magazine. He can't say something like this and then act like nothing ever happened.
"Jus..."
He doesn't look up when he speaks. "I have an empty page. Do you have an Ad that you want published?"
Sighing, I get up. "Sometime it's hard to pretend that nothing has ever happened," I tell him before I can stop myself. He doesn't say anything for a while.
"When I was in London, I tried to date some men but it didn't work out. And until I find a boyfriend, I will still fuck around," he glances up at me just for a second. "You don't have to worry that I will be marching down the aisle anytime soon."
Shaking my head, I pick up my coat. "Do whatever the fuck you want."
This time he doesn't say anything and I just leave his office.
-Justin-
I guess that somewhere, among the afternoons spent working together and the nights talking until sunrise, something changed. I thought that I would have been able to act like nothing ever happened. That if I pretended hard enough, then the memory of the first night together would have disappeared somehow… but it didn't exactly work. The problem is that I really want to try the friends/brothers thing. That's the real reason why I thought about dating again. I want to get my mind off of Brian. I'm practically sure that it won't be so simple, but I have to try.
-Brian-
With a smile way too sweet, Ben asks "What is it exactly that you do, Justin?" and I'd like very much to punch the dear professor's face.
"I'm a journalist and I run the family business: Taylor Publishing." And my little dear brother, smiles at Ben in a way that could only be described as flirty. It's been almost a month since Ben came into town. At the beginning, he was going to stay for a week, but then (nobody knows why but I can very well guess) he decided that he was going to stay for a little while longer. Now we are at Woody's because we are celebrating Emmett's birthday, and obviously he tagged along and now he won't stop looking or talking with Justin and Jus doesn't fucking say anything to discourage him.
"Brian?" I look at Michael and arc an eyebrow. "You ok? You seem a little… tense."
"I'm peachy," I pick up my JB and down it and out of the corner of my eye, I see Justin looking at me skeptically.
"It sounds very interesting."
"Maybe we could publish your newest book."
Ben laughs and I think I'm about to throw up. "I'm going to go find someone to fuck." I stand up from the stool and walk towards the bathroom hoping to find someone that will make me forget about the fucking professor seducing my Justin. Wait… did I just… fuck!
-Justin-
I follow Brian with my eyes while Ben is still talking about his last book. I wonder what the hell is wrong with him.
Ever since Ben started to hang around, Brian has started pulling away or acting like a jealous boyfriend. Sighing, I turn my attention back to Ben's smiling face. He's cute. Awesome, really. But it's not my type and I'm not sure how to tell him that. I'm not thinking about having a boyfriend right now. I'm too tied up with work and the last thing I want, is to have someone with me all the time.
"Is everything ok with you and Brian?" Michael asks me. I nod. "I guess he's just tired from work."
"How come you and Brian don't have the same last name?"
I look at Ben, "Because I was adopted and Brian was raised away from dad." I see a tall guy stepping into the bathroom and sigh. Here we are. Every time something is off, Brian runs away to trick. I hate that it annoys me. I'm always telling him how I want for us to be friends and brothers, but it's getting hard. The more time I spend with him, the more I get to know him, the more I want him.
I get up from my stool and pick up my jacket. "I'm going home," I announce and walk over to Emmett kissing him on the cheek. "Happy birthday once again, Em." He hugs me and kisses me on the forehead.
"Thanks for coming honey."
"How are you going home? You came with Brian." I look at Michael and shrug.
"I will take a cab." I quickly wave at them and step outside Woody's. I stop just as I'm standing down the steps in front of the bar's entrance and light up a cigarette. Suddenly, I feel a pair of strong arms coming around my waist and I stupidly hope for a second that it will be Brian, but then a voice that I don't recognize, whispers huskily in my ear, "I saw you with Kinney. Are you two together?"
"Shouldn't you ask before touching me?" I smirk and the man laughs. I step out of his embrace and turn around finding myself looking at a gorgeous man. He has something that reminds me of Brian, maybe it's the chestnut hair or the perfect shaped lips or maybe I'm just imagining thing because I want him too much. "He's my brother."
"Beauty must run in the family." He caresses my cheek and I smile.
"It must," I say smiling.
He takes my hand and shakes it. "I'm Trevor."
"Justin."
"Well, Justin, would you mind if I smoke with you?" This must be the worst pick-up line ever, but I smile nonetheless and offer him my lighter.
"Not at all."
-Brian-
I'm being an asshole. I'm fucking aware of this. When I came out of the bathroom of Woody's two days ago, Justin was gone. Ben was sulking and Michael kept looking at me strangely and so was Emmett. I haven't seen Justin since. Or, to be more specific, I've turned him down to lunch two days in a row and avoided going to his home.
Ben walks over to me smiling and I'd like to throw my beer in his face. God am I pathetic or what? "Hey, Brian."
"Ben."
"Huh… Michael told me that it was best to ask you before asking Justin."
I ark an eyebrow. "Ask me what?"
"I wanted to ask Justin out and I don't know why, but when I told Jason and Michael that I wanted to, they told me to ask you first. I… I really like him and I'd like to give it a try. So?"
I clang my hand around the neck of the bottle. "So, you can't."
He frowns. "Why not?"
"Because…" Ted appears out of nowhere and puts his arm around my shoulder. "He's a little bit possessive of his little brother. Aren't you, Brian?"
"Get your fucking hands off of me, Theodore!"
"See what I mean?"
I stood up from my stool and turn my attention to Ben. "Stay the fuck away from him." Turning around, I quickly walk out of Woody's.
***
"So, what's up?" Justin asks flopping down on the couch as soon as he's inside the loft. "You haven't called in days."
I decide that the best course of action is to get right to the point. "Ben asked me if I was ok with him asking you out."
Justin laughs. "Are we still in the 50's? Why in the hell did he ask you first?"
I sat down on the coffee table in front of him. "I told him that I wasn't."
He stands up. "Fucking excuse me?" Justin yells. Sometimes I can't believe the rapidity with which he changes mood.
"I said that you are not going out with him," I say slowly.
He puts his hands on his hips and glares at me. "Why the fuck not?"
"You said yourself that you weren't going to settl…"
"Cut the shit!"
I stand up, looking straight into his eyes. "Because he's positive and…"
"And what?"
"And you could get infected and you are not going to out with him and that's final!"
"Says who?"
He's suddenly staying two inches away and I grab both his arms pulling him flesh up against my body. "Me," I tell him sternly looking straight into his blue-jeans eyes. And I don't know what posses me when I lower my head bringing our mouths together in a fervent kiss.
Justin pushes me roughly away. "Fuck you Brian!" he spits. "You can't fucking tell me who to do and who not to. You may be my brother, but you're not my owner…"
"I'M NOT YOUR BROTHER! IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, WE JUST KISSED! You are a little boy that my dad adopted because his father was dead!" and just as I shout the words at him, I start to feel sick. "Justin…" I reach out to touch him, but he pulls back and lowers his head and I know that he's trying to hide his tears. He told me how it hurt him in the past when other people made him notice that he wasn't really Anthony's brother or Edward's son and I've just done the same thing. "I'm…"
"Don't fucking say it! You're not sorry!" and he turns his back to me and walks over to the loft's door and in a second, he's gone.
