A/N: So apparently the last time I updated this story was June 13, 2013. It is now August 2015 and I am a drastically different person from who I was two summers ago. When I first published this story I was in my junior year of high school – and here I am now as a rising junior in college. Time flies. Time changes everyone. This chapter was delayed for over two years because it was very, very hard for me to write (more on that below). For those who have stuck with me this long, I commend you for your patience. I hope it was worth the wait.

TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter contains sexual violence, rape. Please proceed with caution.


++ CHAPTER 8

Inside Arianna was seething. How dare Piggy way all those things to her! He was probably right about most things, but still – how dare he! She knew that Jack should never take charge of the camp, and certainly that he was no good for her. And yes, she had certainly neglected her duties to be with him, and that being him had proven to be more trouble than it was worth. But to name her as one of the reasons why everything on the island was going to shit...now that was just unfair.

Sighing, Arianna slumped against the nearest tree and quickly slid to the ground. She knew that she had a habit of shifting the blame. Even when she was younger, it was never her fault but always someone else's. Always a victim of circumstance, never a fighter. Whenever she was stuck in a sticky situation, she would find herself with two options: fight or flight. Nevertheless, she would always chose the later.

This time was no different. She was running from her problems once again, just as she had run away from prep school that fateful day. And that was exactly what landed her in the mess she was in right now. Could she do anything right?

Act, she urged herself. Don't just react. Perhaps her only conscious, planned decision that she didn't come to regret was chopping off Maureen's luscious locks just before she made her escape. She could still hear the satisfying click of the scissors as she made each cut, could still feel the weight of them in her hands. Arianna supposed she would have to answer for that one day – that is if she ever made it back home. Given the current state of affairs, she doubted if that was even an option.

It felt odd to muse about things that already felt as though they had happened so long ago. It was as though they no longer mattered. Whomever she had been before no longer mattered, and the same went for everybody else. She was no longer Arianna Lovejoy, the Dean's daughter – the thought both frightened and thrilled her at the same time.

Looking up at the sky, Arianna saw that it was beginning to get dark outside. She stood, realizing she had been gone for quite a while. Ought to get back before nightfall, she thought to herself. Event though she was no longer a child, part of her still feared the darkness.

The sound of footsteps quickly stopped her in her tracks. Arianna felt her heartbeat quicken, her fists clenching tightly at her sides. "Who's there?" she called out, barely managing to keep her voice from trembling. "Jack? Is it you?"

After hearing no answer, she frantically scanned her surroundings and swallowed loudly. "Jack, if it's you, you can fuck off because I'm really not in the mood."

Silence. Arianna let out the breath she'd been holding, thinking perhaps she had imagined the footsteps. But just as she took a step back, she felt someone grab her roughly around the waist, his hand quick to muffle her scream.

"That's no way to greet your lover, now is it?"

Jack. Of course, who else would it be?

More annoyed than anything else, Arianna squirmed and tried to elbow him in the side. He only laughed at her failed attempts and when she groaned in frustration, he tightened his grip.

"Where exactly do you need to be right now, huh?" he taunted in her ear. "Running back to Ralph, are you? Rushing to give him what you refuse to give to me?"

Having enough of his provocations, Arianna promptly bit the hand that covered his mouth and shoved him off of her.

"You fucking bit me!" he said incredulously.

"Yeah, well that was for being a certifiable asshole," she glared at him and turned to leave, but he grabbed her arm and whipped her around to face him.

"Just where the hell do you think you're going?" Jack demanded, drawing her close enough so that their lips were almost touching. She could feel the desire radiating off of him and there was no way she was going to make this easy.

Arianna barked out a laugh before leaning in even closer and whispering huskily, "Exactly what you said. I'm going to find Ralph and I'm going to seduce him. And it's going to drive you crazy every minute you know he's with me."

In his rage, Jack pushed her back roughly. Arianna winced as her back scraped against the bark of a tree. Grabbing her chin, he forced her to look up at him. It hurt but she refused to break eye contact.

"You're such a fucking tease," he said through gritted teeth. With his other hand, he took her wrist and forced it above her head. Arianna gasped, in spite of herself. Try as she might to deny it but part of her liked seeing him wild like this. Even though it terrified her, even though she had tried to fight it just hours earlier. Even though she had made a promise to herself not to give in, a promise that she yet again found herself questioning whether or not she would have the willpower to keep.

And still, she pressed forward. "What makes you think I won't do it? He's a good-looking guy, and he's more the man you'll ever be."

"Shut up!" he growled. "I don't want to talk about Ralph."

"Because you feel guilty?" Arianna scoffed mercilessly. "While Ralph was busy being a leader, you were off playing warrior."

"I wasn't playing! I killed a pig."

"You neglected your post!" she shot back. "We could have gone home!"

"And what good would that do?" Jack snapped, his fingers digging painfully into her flesh. "There's nothing left for me, just a shitty life and a shitty future. At least here, I can control what happens to me rather than leave my life in some dipshit general's hands." Breathing heavily, he paused and rested his forehead against hers. "Come one, Arianna. What are you so anxious to get back to?"

Arianna faltered. She had a somewhat promising future back home, she supposed. Part of her wondered if it was all worth it: growing up and graduating from college, landing a shitty nine-to-five job and shitty husband, with a couple of snot-nosed brats to care fore. There was her father, she wanted to say. He would be in pain from her absence but after all he was once in the army, and he was find some way to soldier on. Apart from that, what else was there?

Jack could see her answer in her eyes, but instead of saying it out loud, she shook her head. "Join with Ralph," she whispered. Immediately, he released her from her grip and stepped back laughing sardonically. Arianna tried again, "Jack, it's the only way. Please!"

He looked over his shoulder at her. "You didn't come here to talk diplomacy."

She blinked and then started to protest, "Look, I was lost in my own thoughts. I didn't mean to come find you, if that's what you think."

"Bullshit," Jack scoffed. "Even if it was subconscious, which I highly doubt, I know you came looking for me."

"You seem awfully confident about that," Arianna said, crossing her arms resolutely.

"You want me. Why is that so hard for you to accept?"

"Because," she said evenly. "You disgust me."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Jesus Christ, fine, I disgust you." Then he smirked and said, "But you want me all the same."

Arianna met his smirk with a glare of her own. "You're forgetting one thing, Jack: I don't belong to you."

And to her surprise, Jack actually shrugged in agreement. "Okay, sure. As it stands now, you don't belong to me – in fact, the person you belong to is yourself. And it appears to me that you have two options."

She raised her eyebrows at this. "Oh? And what might those two options be?"

"The way I see it, you can play it safe just as you would have back home. Go back to Ralph. Continue playing by someone else's rules. Spend the rest of your days watching a fire, always preoccupied by the same future worries."

Arianna's breath caught in her throat as he said this. "Or?" she asked, feeling as though he could read her very thoughts.

Jack closed the distance between them and took her by the shoulders. "Or you can live. In the moment, without fear or regrets. You can chose to live, Arianna – with me."

Fight or flight. The same dilemma that had been plaguing her from the very beginning. She could choose to run away from the problem standing right in front of her. Or she could make a choice. Right then, right now.

"Stop playing me hot and cold, Arianna. What's it gonna be?" he asked, more gently than he had in the past.

And slowly, after a long silence, she raised her head to meet his gaze. "Fuck you, Jack," she whispered. Then she kissed him and, as forcefully as she could possibly muster, shoved him against the tree.

Jack was only momentarily fazed. As soon as he recovered from the initial shock, he returned the kiss hungrily and pulled her closer. He even chucked when she pulled back suddenly, dragging her lips down his jawline to his neck.

"Who are you and what have you done with Arianna Lovejoy?" he asked breathlessly.

She stopped in the middle of leaving a sizable hickey to look at him threateningly. "Just stop talking," she commanded. The high from giving orders was unmistakable – no wonder Jack loved it so much. So that's what it felt like to be in charge.

But this feeling was not to last long. Jack only smiled at this and said, "Your wish is my command, Princess."

His hands slip down under her thighs, hitching her up by the legs abruptly to straddle his waist. Arianna yelped in surprise, before being thrown unceremoniously to the ground. In a second Jack was on top of her, their mouths meeting furiously. There was nothing rational about this, only lust. Her mind, skin – everything – was on fire.

So this is what it felt like to live.

Arianna gasped when he jerked her head back by the hair just when she was starting to get comfortable in their new position, his teeth roughly scraping against the tender skin where her neck met her shoulder. She scraped her fingernails down his back. Inside, she was positively humming.

At the same time, he unbuttoned her dress, his hands running over every inch of exposed flesh. Arianna was on such a high that she hardly even felt self-conscious. Her mind only half-working, she was only focused on the sensations. No longer caring whether it was right or wrong, no longer fully aware of what was happening either.

She shivered the moment she felt him release the clasp of her bra, followed by his breath hot against her chest.

"Jack..." she whispered. Not quite a protest, not quite a moan of pleasure either.

"You have no idea...how long I've wanted this," he said as he trailed his lips down her stomach.

"Wait–" she began, starting to feel a sense of panic. But while Jack stopped before, he wasn't going to now.

"Relax," he coaxed her as he slid her underwear down her thighs. Faint warning bells went off in her head. She felt him position himself at her entrance but before she could say anything, he reached between them, sending jolt of pleasure up her spine.

"Oh God," Arianna exhaled, her toes curling at the very feeling of it.

Jack paused, bringing his face close to hers once more. "Please don't say that."

Even in her numbed state, she frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"Because, Princess," he said seriously. "You just made a deal with the devil."

And without warning, he bit her bottom lip roughly the same time as he entered her. Arianna breathed in sharply, tears springing to her eyes. "Wait...Jack, please," she tried once more. He was no longer listening. But at the same time, she could feel it deep within her, the pleasurable sensation of an itch just about to be scratched. Wait, slow down, stop, please – her whispers went ignored until she found herself drawing him closure. Not fighting him, but at the same time, that slowly heightening itch...

It didn't last long. With one last grunt, Jack collapsed on top of her, the both of them sweaty and breathing heavily. He pulled out and immediately, Arianna felt the hollowness.

He laid on top of her for a few more moments before rolling off to the side to cool down. Arianna lied there very still, but her mind was racing. She had done it. She had given in and lost her virginity. She had lost her virginity to Jack. To Jack. To Jack!

This was what she wanted to do...right?

Still panting, Jack leaned over to kiss her – it was about all he had energy for at the moment. Looking down at her, he grinned and said, "You're so fucking gorgeous. But you already know that, don't you?"

Arianna smiled weakly and patted him lightly on the chest. "That was..." she began. Fast? Spontaneous? Not quite as spectacular as she had been expecting?

Jack finished her sentence for her. "Amazing. You were a champ."

She grimaced at his word choice. She was a champ? Great. Give her the gold medal so they could be done with it already.

But in a random moment of gentleness, Jack brushed her hair away from face and caressed her cheek. "Did it hurt?" he asked, almost as though he were genuinely concerned.

"Not really," Arianna said in surprise. "At least, it wasn't nearly as I thought it would be."

"Good," he said, obviously pleased. "That should make it a lot easier the next time."

Next time. Of course there would be a next time. And many times after that.

Arianna suddenly felt as though she was about to be sick.

"Jack–" she started to say, but he kissed her again tenderly – not at all like he did just before they had sex.

Suddenly, he jerked back and said, "I'm sorry for this."

The last thing she saw before she was knocked out was the rock he used to slam point blank into the side of her forehead.

Right after he had done it, Jack already felt like shit. He pulled his loincloth back on before kneeling down to examine her. Arianna was definitely unconscious, and the rock had left a thin trail of blood where it had struck her. Gingerly, he turned her head over to get a closer look. At worst, she would wake up in a few hours with a headache and a minor concussion. He, of course, had been careful to do only the minimal amount of damage. After what was to happen to her, though, Jack couldn't be certain what state he would find her in.

And she had played her part beautifully too. So passionate, so willing. Jack had enjoyed himself considerably and tried to make it good for her too. It was a damn shame what he was about to put her through.

Sighing wearily, Jack tore his eyes away from Arianna's face and got to his feet. "Alright Roger," he called out. "You can come out now."

From a few yards away, Roger rose from where he had been crouching in the bushes. "I can have her now then?" he said, greeting Jack with his signature shark-like grin.

Jack refused to look back at Arianna, lying there vulnerably like a lamb prepared for slaughter, and nodded. "For now, yes," he said firmly.

"Great," Roger said, no longer even looking at him. He went to move toward her, but Jack grabbed his arm roughly. "What the hell, Jack? We had a deal," he shouted, his eyes darkening dangerously.

"Would you relax? I'm not breaking our deal," Jack explained impatiently. But his grip slackened quickly. "Just...go easy on her, okay?"

Roger looked at him calculatingly. "Careful what you say about the girl, chief. People might think that you're going soft."

Jack felt his jaw tighten. "You go and have your fun, but don't forget: Arianna belongs to me. And I expect her to be unharmed when I come back. Do you understand?"

"I understand," Roger replied, sidestepping Jack to hover over her sleeping body. "I understand perfectly."

"Good." There was nothing more he could say. What could he have done to make Arianna understand? Tell her to do this so Roger wouldn't turn on him, sacrifice herself for the greater good? She wouldn't get it, and by knocking her out, he told himself he was doing her a favor. But it would take a great deal of convincing to get her to see it this way.

This was a minor roadblock. Jack was confident he could win her back – and the rest of the tribe for that matter – back in his favor. Even so, he forced himself to walk away, to leave Roger with her.

There were just some things he couldn't bear to watch.

In her dream, she was drowning.

Her head broke the surface. All around her, she saw nothing but water. Darkness.

Help! Help! Somebody, please!

Then she felt something wrap around her ankle and yank her back down into the ocean's murky depths. She let out a scream.

And suddenly, she was in bed in the home she hadn't seen since she was a little girl. So tired, so weak... She felt something cool press against her forehead.

Daddy?

Kneeling next to her was her father with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. It's already, darling, he soothed her. You have a fever, you need to rest.

Daddy, I miss you.

I know, sweetheart. Then he stood and headed for the doorway.

Where are you going? Daddy, come back! Please!

But he continued as though he couldn't hear her. She tried to go after him, but an invisible force held her back. In the corner of the room, she could hear a deep chuckle.

Going somewhere, Princess?

She whipped around, expecting to see Jack. But before her stood Roger, leering at her with a knife in hand.

No!

She tried to get away, but something was pinning her to the bed. Jack's voice was in her ear, whispering, Fight or flight, Arianna: what's it gonna be?

Roger stalked toward her slowly, his knife glinting. What's it gonna be, Arianna? he taunted. Are you gonna fight me!

Get away from me! Don't touch me!

Roger was getting closer and closer.

Daddy, come back! Somebody, help me! Please!

Arianna awoke with a start. Her head was pounding and she was absolutely parched. Looking around, she could see that it was just before dawn and that she was in part of the island that she didn't entirely looked down to see that she was fully clothed, but found that the buttons of her dress were uneven and that her hair was in complete disarray. She reached up and found that someone had attempted to bandage her forehead with the remnants of a t-shirt.

Then she remembered. The kiss, the "I'm sorry for this." Jack, the bastard. He hit her and then left her here. She was going to make him pay for that...but what the hell happened afterward?

Arianna stood shakily and was suddenly aware of the dull throbbing between her legs. Right, she grimaced. How could she forget?

Just as she took another step, she felt it – the bruising on her inner thighs. That wasn't from Jack...Vaguely, she remembered a rougher pair of hands.

"No..." she whispered, overcome with nausea.

In her mind, she could her own quiet moaning – Stop...no...don't...please – followed by a harsh slap to the face and an order to shut up.

She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the memory. No, it couldn't be...

Even though she had only been semi-conscious, she could still hear that voice. Roger's voice...Not so high and mighty, are you now? Bitch...Between grunts, calling her the most terrible things.

Then she realized: Jack hadn't simply left her there. He left her there for him.

Arianna felt her gut heave. She doubled over and threw up what little had been in her stomach. "No," she sobbed, clutching her arms around herself tightly. "Nononono..."

A comforting hand grazed her trembling shoulders. Arianna practically jumped out of her skin. She turned to find beside her the very last person she wanted to see.

"Get the hell away from me," she hissed, scrambling back several feet.

Jack sighed and held out a hollowed coconut full of water. "You're dehydrated. You have to drink something."

She resisted the bizarre urge to laugh hysterically. "Oh, so suddenly you care about my wellbeing?" she exclaimed.

Jack squared his jaw and tried to explain. "Look, whatever you think happened last night–"

"I know exactly what happened last night! You and Roger..." The rest of the sentence caught in her throat. She couldn't bear to say what happened out loud.

After a brief silence, Jack cleared his throat. "We had sex, Arianna, okay? We both wanted it. What's so wrong about that?"

She shook her head violently, tears flooding down her cheeks. "You hit me and then you left me for him," she shouted. "Can't you see how fucked up that is?"

"I did what I had to do, and I don't need to defend myself!" he shouted back.

"How you even say that? What you did to me was wrong. What you did was–"

"What? What I did was illegal?" In just two strides, Jack was towering over her and yanking her to her feet. "I don't know if you noticed, Arianna, but you're on my side of the island now. And here, we play by a different set of rules."

Arianna swallowed and looked him straight in the eye. "What are you saying?" she asked challengingly.

"I'm saying that whatever you think happened doesn't matter. What I say matters. And if you start listening, I think you'll find everything to be a helluva lot easier."

Wrenching her arm away, she spat at him, "Don't you dare threaten me."

"I can do whatever the fuck I want. Starting with you," he said, closing the distance between them once again. Arianna flinched as he adjusted the makeshift bandage around her forehead. "Things have changed, so you better watch what you say around me." Still staring down at her intimidatingly, he thrust the coconut into her hands. "Now drink your goddamn water."


A/N: So yes, if this was a hard chapter to read, it was much harder to write. When I first started writing this story, I knew that if I were to write about rape I would absolutely have to do it the right way. And for the longest time I simply didn't know how to do that so I just gave up.

And then – it happened. It happened to me. My freshman year, I myself became subject to sexual assault. And this one night in college, as much as I tried to pretend it didn't happen, as much as I struggled calling it that dirty four-letter word – I couldn't deny the fact that it had changed me. For a while I was confused and lost. When I started opening up to people about it, I learned. I became a stronger person because of it.

So why am I choosing a low-trafficked corner of FanFiction to speak out about this? Well for one thing, I imagine a lot of my readership to be young women who are just like me and who might also find themselves in similar situations. I also wanted to convey the murky gray areas of consent – something that I myself have struggled with time and time again in college. It is important to realize that what happened with Jack is rape just as much as Roger's brutal assault on Arianna. A lack of "no" does not indicate consent. Only an enthusiastic "yes" indicates consent. Especially on college campuses, you'll find far more Jack's among rapists than Roger's. And if fiction writing is the only way I can speak about this issue that I feel so strongly about – so be it. I know that you're out there listening, some of you just as lost and confused as I was a little over a year ago. And those of you who are out there, if you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts about this chapter (or even your own personal experiences), I welcome it.

I can't guarantee that there will be another chapter of Dirty Game anytime soon. Please know that this story is very important to me, because it is as much Arianna's story as it is mine. All I know is that this chapter needed to be written.

Your loving author,

~CocoSushi~