A/N- This chapter is dedicated to the memory of my friend Jay, who despite biting my neck and nearly pulling my nipple off last night, is sadly still with us.
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: ALENKO, K.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: Thanks, I guess
Thanks, and I know it's the thought that counts, but what am I meant to do with a gallon of maple syrup?
Kaidan
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: SHEPARD, J.
To: ALENKO, K.
Subj: RE: Thanks, I guess
Pour it over Liara and lick it off?
Master Chief
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: JAVIK
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: Your Gift
I find this gift foolish. I am informed by the asari that I am obliged to thank you for it. I consider this primitive communication message to be a waste of my time.
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: T'SONI, L.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: I Am Not Krogan
For the last time, it doesn't work like that.
Liara
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: VEGA, J.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: Coolest Toy Ever
About time someone made an action figure of yours truly. The tattoos aren't quite right and some parts aren't quite proportional if you get what I mean, but this is A. Maze. Ing. Impresionante.
Vega
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: SHEPARD, J.
To: VEGA, J.
Subj: RE: Coolest Toy Ever
Masturbation. The act of playing with oneself.
Sheploo
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: MOREAU, J.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: I Took Commander Shepard Through Hell And Back Three Times And All I Got Was This Crappy Magazine
No, really. What the hell Shepard?
Joker
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: SHEPARD, J
To: MOREAU, J.
Subj: Whining Bitch
Thank you would have been nice.
The Lord is (my) Shepard
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: CHAKWAS, K.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: Kama Sutra
Very funny Shepard, but Engineer Adams and I don't need tips thank you.
Karin
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: VAS NORMANDY, T.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: Thank You?
I'm not sure why I would want to paint my body with something brown that smells like chocolate, but thanks for getting me something, I guess.
Tali
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: VAS NORMANDY, T.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: You Are Sick
I've just done an Extranet search on chocolate body paint to double check that its safe for quarians and I found out its intended purpose. You are a sick, sick man.
Tali
EXTRANET MESSAGE
From: VAKARIAN, G.
To: SHEPARD, J.
Subj: Chocolate Body Paint
Tali just tried out her gift and I just want to tell you, you are a genius and I love you. That book was nice too.
Garrus
A/N- Google translate told me that 'Impresionante' is Spanish for awesome. If its not, blame them not me. Also, please blame lack of quality on my hangover. I think I have liver failure.
