The Quiet Scream
a Seddie fanfiction
by Emma
Summary: He's there. Then he's not. Am I going insane? Is life torturing me? The only thing I know, is that I'm afraid to admit I might be crazy. Because if I'm crazy. They'll take him away.
Chapter Eight
Day 7
I sat upright in my bed, leaning against the wall, my hands tightly around my legs. I decided, if I stayed here, I wouldn't have to see him. Since I knew he was here, I knew it. The world just seemed to have this strange happy feeling when it was here, and I could feel that feeling through the air.
Maybe I was wrong, maybe he wasn't here. Maybe, my guess I had yesterday was correct, maybe everything would go back to normal – my normal.
Who am I kidding? He's here. It's too obvious. It's hard to describe, but he is here. It's that feeling in the air, I guess.
I glanced at my cell phone on my side table, it was a Monday morning, and Carly would be at school . . . which means Freddie would be at school. It was getting close to two in the afternoon, there was no point in even showing up today. I could go to Carly's, see Freddie, freak out then leave. . . . Nah, that'd just be too weird.
I lied down in my bed, and sighed. What was I supposed to do about this? Live with it, go every third day with Freddie living, and then be depressed and lonely the rest of the time? No way, that'd be complete torture. I either want him gone – which I really don't want. Or I want him alive – which is completely impossible.
Life officially sucks.
My phone buzzed, and I picked it up, it read: One new text message. I picked it up and read it.
Carly S: hey, were u sick again?
I sighed, but texted back, yah . . . did I miss anything?
I got an answer within minutes:
Carly S: not really . . . freddie asked where u were though, it was kinda weird.
My heart thudded. Freddie wanted to know where I was. Why? Then I remembered something.
"I'm hurting you."
He seemed so upset then . . . he didn't really say why. He kinda just . . . left. The old Freddie would have never cared if he was hurting me or not, since I hurt him so much. He would be jumping off the walls if he actually hurt me, thinking he finally won, one of our battles. The thought made me smile. That nub never won.
My bedroom door burst open, causing me to jump about ten feet in the air. My jaw dropped at who was standing in the doorway. Freddie.
"What the hell?" I screamed at him.
"S-sorry, I tripped." Freddie said, stepping through the doorway, "I . . . uh, saw you weren't at school today,"
"Freddie, I would appreciate it if you left," I whispered, glancing up at me, he gave me this look as if he thought I was completely crazy – which I probably am.
"Why?" he asked, leaning against my wall.
"Because I want to pretend you're not real," I said.
"Ha ha, Sam. Very funny, I get it, this is one of you're stupid ways to insult me, isn't it?" he said, with this fake tone of voice, which made me doubt was he was saying.
"Freddie . . . this isn't a joke," I said, closing my eyes shut, "I just . . . can't be near you, okay?"
Freddie said nothing, I kept my eyes shut. I was begging for him to move his feet, and leave me in peace. But there was no sound, not even the sound of him breathing . . . as if he wasn't.
"You're dead, I know you're dead," I said "You're here one day, and then you're not. I want to know why."
Freddie sighed, I heard him shift his feet, as he walked across my bedroom, he held his face to his hands, for only a minute, before turning and answering me.
"I . . . I can't tell you why, but . . . yes, I am dead."
It took a second for me to catch my breath, I couldn't believe what he just said . . . he just said he was actually dead. I didn't expect him to agree.
"W-what?" I asked, I needed an explanation.
"I can't say," he whispered.
"Why not?" I snapped.
"I just can't!" he cried at me, "I don't even know why I'm here. I was murdered, and the next thing I know, I'm alive, with orders to pretend as if my murder never happened."
I started to slowly back away from him, he was starting to scare me. I wanted to be away from him.
"Sam, stop, please no, you can't be afraid," he begged me, his face had grown soft, he looked as if he wanted to cry, "Please don't be afraid of me, I'm not here to hurt you, that's the very last thing I ever wanted to do."
I found myself doubting his words. I mean, he was dead . . . he could have orders to lie to me, if he had orders to pretend his death never happened.
"I don't know how long I'm going to be here, I don't know why I'm here, but I could leave at any second. You heard me, yesterday . . . your yesterday. When you were at Carly's, I contacted you, and you heard me."
I rubbed my temples, "The dream . . ." I whispered.
"That was me, it wasn't a dream – well it was, but it was a contacting dream," he explained, "I had to contact you, so I put myself in your dream."
"Freddie . . . I really miss you," I said to him, standing up.
"There has to be something that you never told me in my lifetime, maybe that's why I'm here."
I understood now, maybe this was why he was here. For me to tell him I loved him, for me to get a chance. So I could move on, and get on with my life, so Carly doesn't have to protect me anymore.
"Freddie," I said, walking up, so I was facing him, "I love you, I always have."
Freddie let out a shaky breath, then pulled me tightly into his arms, "I knew it, I knew I should've told you when I had the chance."
"Told me what?" I asked in a whisper.
"Sam, I love you too, it's not past-tense, it's present. Even when I'm gone through this world, I'm still always with you, I'm still always watching over you. I love you, I wish I told you."
He cupped my face, and planted his lips right on time of mine, giving me pure bliss, a bliss I hadn't experience since my first kiss . . . with Freddie.
The words started to ring through my head, he loved me. He really did love me. It was true . . . and I didn't tell him. I'm such and idiot.
"Sam," he said, pressing his forehead to mine, "Can you do one thing for me?" he asked.
I nodded, "Anything."
"Go to school tomorrow,"
I hesitated, "I don't know want to."
"I know, but I need you too, okay?" he said with a smile, "Promise me you'll go tomorrow."
I sighed, "Alright, I promise."
Here I was in his arms, the place I never thought I'd ever be, yet here I was. Yet it was real . . . or it didn't feel real, because I knew by the time tomorrow, he would be gone.
He's there. Then he's not. Am I going insane? Is life torturing me? The only thing I know, is that I'm afraid to admit I might be crazy. Because if I'm crazy. They'll take him away.
Authors Note
I'm actually surprised at how fast I got this chapter up! XD I know it's not one of my best, I really didn't have much to fit in, but I hope you liked it anyways.
Love,
Emma
