A Shoulder To Cry On

Chapter 8

Dear Ollie,

I don't normally write letters, it's not something that comes easily to me. In fact this is the first time that I've put pen to paper in years, and my bin is currently over flowing with screwed up attempts to write something that makes sense. I'm just relieved you have pulled through after everything that's gone on. Treating you has been difficult for me, partly because I didn't expect it to affect me so much, you were supposed to be just another patient that needed help and a listening ear. I've always prided myself on being able to detach myself away from personal circumstances, that's what you are told to do as a doctor. But I haven't been able to do that with you. I guess what I'm trying to say to you is this... I care about you a lot. I know it's crazy for me to say it. I've been trying to ignore my feelings, brush them under the carpet. Something I'm rather good at I think. People have perceptions of me - some are right and some are way off the mark. I know I can come across as brash, selfish and arrogant sometimes. I don't always think before I speak. That's why writing to you now is so hard. My head is full of emotions that I can't quite deal with at the moment. It's kind of scary for me, thinking like this. But the fact you nearly died has made me realise what the truth is for me at least. You've been to hell and back and I know reading something like this must be weird for you but I have to be honest. These are feelings which I can't hide from anymore.

I hope my rant at Hanssen hasn't made things worse. I just don't want you to give up, you have too much potential Oliver, I just hope Hanssen gives you another chance otherwise in my opinion it's a waste of talent. Someimes I wonder why you doubt yourself so much. I've always trusted you, even after you told me the truth about you and Penny. I'm sure Penny would want you to make the most of your life now you've come clean. I really hope you can somehow restart your career after this. It won't be easy, but nothing worth fighting for is.

I am staying with my mother for a few days, before I return to work, she's not been feeling well and asked me to go and visit. But hopefully when I see you next week you will be fighting fit! That is if you are still talking to me after reading this letter. Maybe we should talk face to face. The last think I want to do is to ruin our friendship. But if it does I will understand why. I just needed to tell you.

Malick.

I really hope you like this, I've found it very hard to write to be honest, so please review.