Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I only like to play in her world from time to time. I do own Liz, Emma, and whoever else you don't recognize from the books though so please don't take them. :)
A/N: I'm sorry this one took so long to post. I got really wrapped up in one of my other stories (and not to shamelessly plug myself, but if you like The Host you should check it out :)) and there's been a bit of family drama going on with me. I'm sorry if there are any spelling or grammatical mistakes… I'm not taking as long as I usually do to edit and whatnot since I really want to get this up. Thank you to Nikkirenzo59, KajiMori, Perfect love kills all fear, LebaneseBella08TJ, gymgurl, daysandnights, Lecia, Bible Chick, tashman, Leave your hat on, LittleStarThingys, The Awkward Turtle, 4ever.n.ever, xxTunstall Chickxx, and youdontwant2no for all the reviews! I don't have an extra for this chapter but please review and let me know what you think anyways!!
Chapter 8
I knew I was dreaming and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I'm pretty sure that that's one of the worse feelings in the world, the fact that I knew this wasn't real and I couldn't do anything about it because I couldn't make myself wake up. I was in the middle of the forest but I wasn't exactly sure that it was me. My skin was paler than normal and it seemed to glow in the moonlight. And that was another strange thing about this dream, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The moon was full and bright and it lit up the entire forest. I was running through the trees at an alarming rate but stopped when I reached a small clearing. I had a strange feeling that there was danger near. I wanted to leave but something wouldn't let me.
It was then that I noticed the awful stench. It was like wet dog, only a million times stronger. I had no idea what could possibly smell that bad but I knew instinctively that I didn't like it, whatever it was. And then Seth walked into the clearing. There was something wrong, though. Instead of wearing his trademark goofy smile, he was glaring at me in hatred. And even though I was still a little scared of him, the way he looked at me made me feel like my heart was breaking into a million pieces.
"Seth," I said softly. I reached out to him but he evaded my hand by taking a step back. There was a flash of something in his eyes, something so familiar but so wrong at the same time, and then his face twisted up in pain. "Seth, it's ok." I had no idea why I was trying to comfort him but I just knew that I had to. I didn't want him to be in pain.
"No," he growled. And then he started shaking, much like he had that afternoon, and soon he exploded into fur and claws. His eyes were still full of hatred, even in wolf form. His lips lifted into a snarl and he started to growl at me.
"Easy," I said, trying to calm him down. I opened my mouth to say something else but he lunged at me. I could feel his teeth ripping into my shoulder but all I could do was scream.
And then I was back in my bed, screaming my head off. I was drenched in sweat and my heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to break out of my ribcage at any second. I was having trouble breathing, like I had just run a marathon or two. "Oh fuck," I said. I checked my arms to make sure they weren't that strange pale color. I never thought I would be so relieved to see that I still had freckles.
I got up then, even though it was way too early. I knew I would never be able to sleep after that. I went downstairs to get some breakfast but as soon as it was in front of me, I couldn't eat it. All I could see in my head was the snarling wolf and the way he had lunged at me. But Seth wouldn't do that, would he? I couldn't imagine Seth going after someone like that, even as a wolf. What was it that he had said? The werewolves only hurt their one true enemy, the vampires. And I'm sure the vampires deserved it if they were sucking the blood of all of the people in town. Unless everyone was wrong about that too, and vampires didn't drink blood, like how Seth didn't need a full moon to turn into a werewolf. And I couldn't imagine Seth ever hurting me like that. Maybe I was just crazy but he always looked at me like he cared about me. There was never any hatred in his intense brown eyes. So this dream just had to be some kind of manifestation of my fear, right? That wasn't really Seth, it was just what had always come to my mind when I thought of wolves. But no matter how I tried to rationalize it, I was still scared out of my mind.
I hadn't even noticed that Emma had come downstairs until she said, "You're up early."
"I couldn't sleep," I said softly, moving the cereal in the bowl around with my spoon.
"Bad dream?" she asked. I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering how exactly she knew that. "I heard you screaming earlier," she explained.
"Oh," I said. Nice of her to check and make sure I was alright. It was a good thing I had been screaming because of a bad dream and not because some creepy rapist had climbed in my bedroom window or something.
She went about making toast while I stared blankly at my cereal. I couldn't get rid of the image of a lunging wolf with Seth's eyes. I couldn't take this anymore. I knew, logically, that that wasn't him but the irrational part of my brain kept reminding me that I didn't really know him at all. Emma sat down next to me then and asked, "What are you doing today?"
I shrugged. "Are you working today?"
"No," she said. "Actually, I was going to go to La Push today to see Sue. Do you want to come?" I shook my head frantically, which was a really stupid move on my part. Emma narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "What's going on, Liz? I thought you liked Seth."
I groaned. "I barely know him!"
"Not like that," she said, sounding a little exasperated with me. "I just thought that you two were friends. What's going on?"
"Nothing," I muttered, turning back to my soggy cereal.
"Are you sure you didn't get into a fight?" she asked.
I sighed. Her concern was appreciated but I didn't really want to deal with it right now. "It was more like a little misunderstanding than a fight."
"Right," she said, rolling her eyes at me. "It was so little that you don't even want to see him today. What happened, Liz?"
"It's nothing, Aunt Emma," I said softly. "It'll be fine."
She pursed her lips and looked at me for a long moment. "It better be," she said finally. "I've been friends with Sue for over twenty years now. So I hope you can clear this whole thing up with Seth soon, Elizabeth."
I sighed. "I have a lot of homework to do," I said before I got up, put my bowl in the sink and stormed up to my room. I couldn't believe that she was going to keep pushing Seth on me, even when it was obvious that I wasn't in the mood for it. What did it matter if she was friends with Sue? This problem I was having with Seth had nothing to do with either of them. And this was just what I needed right now, more guilt over the fact that I can't stop freaking out because Seth turns into a giant wolf from time to time. I had to keep reminding myself that Seth was still Seth, changing into a wolf hadn't changed that. He didn't ask for it. It only happened because of his bloodline and I shouldn't hold it against him. But at the same time, he turned into a giant freaking wolf! That's not supposed to happen! Shape-shifting went against the laws of physics. And he had kept it from me too. I think that was one of the things that had bothered me the most. I had considered him my best friend in Forks, no matter how sad and pathetic that was, but he hid that from me. I couldn't help but wonder if he was hiding something else from me, like maybe his mother was really Catwoman in disguise. And as I slowly got that stupid dream out of my head, I could only think of more questions. Is that what that security business that Sam Uley was running was really about? Was that what they were protecting La Push from? Vampires? It made more sense then all of the stupid theories I had come up with before. Were all the boys I had met at the bonfire werewolves? Did everyone in La Push know about this? And if they did, how in the hell were they okay with it? Jacob had made it seem like it was a curse, something that none of them really enjoyed. And then I just started to feel guilty again, because how could I hold something that Seth hadn't asked for and didn't particularly want against him?
And what about the vampires? I was starting to get a little curious about that. Did this mean that they were real? The thought was completely ridiculous but they had to be, since werewolves were real. Seth had said that the only reason why he was a werewolf was because there were vampires in the area. Were they anything like Dracula, with the pointed ears and hairy palms, or did they break canon like the La Push werewolves? How were they able to walk among normal people so easily? Wouldn't people start to notice if there were suddenly a lot of bodies showing up that were drained of blood with teeth marks on the necks? I groaned and put my head down on my chemistry textbook. I couldn't believe I was even thinking about things like reluctant werewolves fighting Romanian vampires. It was completely ridiculous. How had this become my life?
I couldn't concentrate on my homework at all. Every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Seth exploding into tan fur. And then it would take what felt like forever to get that image out of my head. I had gotten very little done by the time Emma got home later that night. I was about a second away from throwing my French book across the room when she knocked on the door.
"Hi," she said. "Still doing homework?"
"Yep," I said. I was still a little annoyed with her and I didn't want her to try and guilt me into forgiving Seth again. I felt bad enough as it was.
She pulled a folded piece of paper out of her back pocket. "Seth wanted me to give this to you." I took it from her and saw that my name was written on the front in messy handwriting. "What happened between you two, anyways?"
"I told you, it was nothing," I said petulantly. I was getting a little annoyed with her sticking her nose into my business. I knew she was just concerned about Seth but this was starting to get on my last nerve.
"It didn't look like nothing," she said, handing it to me. "The poor kid looked miserable." I bit down on my bottom lip. I felt even more awful. She shrugged. "Whatever it was that he did, Liz, I think you should forgive him."
I sighed. "Alright," I said. And then I yawned, hoping she would get the hint.
"Right, you must be tired," she said. She came towards me, acting as if she were about to hug me but then thought better of it. I'm sure my relief showed on my face. I didn't know how to deal with this. I felt bad for being annoyed with her, she was only trying to look out for me. But at the same time, her concern was not needed. I could take care of things perfectly fine by myself. She stayed there for one awkward moment before smiling at me and walking down the hallway to her room.
I looked down at the note in my hands and opened it. There were only two words inside: I'm sorry. I had dialed half of his number before I remembered the dream and hung up. I would talk to him eventually but I couldn't do it right now. It would only make things worse.
I had another nightmare that night. It was different from the one before, though. Instead of being attacked by the large sand-colored wolf, I was watching from the trees as it attacked a pale, burly black-haired man. And I felt different too; instead of being scared for my life, I was worried for both the pale man and the large wolf. I couldn't make any sense of it when I woke up. And I still felt awful.
I had hoped Emma would be gone by the time I got downstairs but I guess I should have known that luck was not on my side lately. "Morning," she said, giving me this small, knowing smile, like she had expected me to look as awful as I felt.
"Hi," I said softly.
"How'd you sleep?" she asked. I shot her a dark look and she chuckled. "Nightmares again?" I nodded. "Want to talk about it?"
"Not really," I said.
"Was Seth in it?" she asked suddenly. I froze in the middle of grabbing the milk for my cereal. How would she know that? "You kept saying his name," she explained. Oh. I guess that made sense. But how could she have heard me? "I went in to check on you. I was worried."
"Oh," I said. "Yeah, I guess he was in it." I didn't know how I felt about that, knowing that she was worried enough to check on me. In some ways I was offended because I didn't want or need anyone to be worried about me, I was perfectly fine alone and I didn't understand why no one could realize that. But it also felt… nice, knowing that there was someone out there who actually cared about my well-being. Two, actually, if I was right about Seth. And still… I couldn't make myself talk to him just yet.
--
I was pretty miserable for the rest of the week. Emma was starting to get really annoyed with me. She kept worrying that the fight I was having with Seth, which was more serious than she had originally thought, would somehow affect her relationship with the Clearwaters. It was slightly ridiculous. And she kept trying to figure out what exactly had happened between us. And I just let her come up with the dumbest theories ever (like he had tried to force himself on me) because I knew that she would never believe the truth. It's not like I could tell her the truth anyways, I had promised Jacob that I wouldn't tell anyone about what I had seen.
I kept having those weird dreams too. At first, the tan wolf kept attacking these insanely pale people in the moonlight. I kept getting the weirdest feeling while I watched this, like I hoped that Seth would beat them. But that was wrong. I couldn't actually be hoping that Seth would devour innocent people. And I was so worried for him, like there was any way that a weak human could hurt him. But then they changed and suddenly instead of attacking someone, Seth was pacing in the clearing like he was waiting for someone, howling at the moon every few minutes. Those were the strangest dreams because for some reason, I wanted to run to him so that I could comfort him. I couldn't, though, because I still had that strange feeling of danger. I was scared of him even in my dreams, I guess. The dreams kept me from talking to him, although he did try to call me a few times. Emma got even more annoyed when she had to lie to him and say that I was out.
My friends at school seemed to notice that I was upset too. The first day, Lydia spent most of lunch and gym asking me what was wrong, over and over. Even Will was curious about why I was so miserable, and I was so shocked by him actually speaking to me that I actually told them that I got into a fight with Seth. Of course, Lydia latched on to that like a pit bull with a bone and didn't let it go. She seemed to think it was some kind of lover's spat and insisted on trying different things to cheer me up. I can't even count the number of awful jokes I was subjected to.
Finally, she decided that I was in desperate need of something called a 'Girl's Night.' She forced Sammy away from Will and made her drive us into Port Angeles while she played Dr. Phil. She had dragged us into some department store to look at the three dresses she was trying to choose between for some kind of winter formal that Forks High was going to have in a month and a half.
"You should really go, Liz," she said as we made our way out of the store.
"I don't know," I said. "I don't really think dances are my thing."
"Why not?" Sammy asked. "I think they're kind of fun."
I shrugged. "I don't see the fun in getting dressed up so I can dance around a gym full of streamers to a bunch of shitty songs with some guy I don't even like."
"You know," Lydia said coyly, "I bet you'd actually enjoy it if you went with what's-his-name."
"Seth," I said softly, correcting her. "And I seriously doubt that."
"Why not?" she asked. "You do like him. I mean, if you'd just admit it then I'm sure you could end this stupid fight just in time for winter formal!"
I swear, I liked Lydia a lot but I was only one step away from popping her in the nose right then. I was really getting sick of her trying to cheer me up. Sammy seemed to pick up on that. "So, Lydia," she said, trying to divert her attention elsewhere. "What are we going to do now?"
Lydia smiled. "I don't know," she said. "I've never really done anything like this before. I was just going off what they do on TV."
Oh great, we had driven an hour to this stupid town just so we could wander around aimlessly in the name of girl power or whatever. Sammy looked confused at that. "And what do they do on TV?"
She shrugged. "Shop and go to clubs to check out guys."
"Do they even have clubs in this town?" I asked. "Or should we go to the soda shop?"
Sammy laughed while Lydia scowled at me. "We could go and see if that new Drew Barrymore movie is playing soon. Or go down the boardwalk and check out the guys there."
"Movie," Sammy and I said in unison. I did not want to go look at any strange boys, they would only remind me of the one I certainly did not want to think about right now. And I could only assume that Sammy didn't want to go do that because she was already in a committed relationship.
Lydia rolled her eyes at us. "Hey," she said as we made our way towards the only movie theater in this town, "Isn't that Seth?"
I looked where she was pointing and stopped in my tracks. It was Seth and most of those abnormally tall guys he hung out with. I guess they were setting all of the werewolves on Port Angeles now. "Actually, I'd really like to go see the boardwalk." I turned around quickly, hoping he hadn't seen me yet.
"Uh, okay," Sammy said, looking at me as if she thought I was crazy. She grabbed Lydia by the arm and started dragging her in the opposite direction, since she looked like she was about to go talk to him.
"Liz!" I heard that familiar deep voice call from behind me. "Liz! Wait up!"
"Oh no," I muttered. I turned around and forced a smile. "Hi Seth."
"Liz," he said, staring down at me. Emma had been right, he looked absolutely miserable. I couldn't really believe that this was all because of me. Something else must have happened down in La Push, maybe Dracula had gotten away this full moon. He looked cautiously at the two girls with me and asked, "How are you?"
I shrugged. "The same, really."
"Look," he said. "Can we please talk?"
"Seth, I don't really think that's such –"
He interrupted me. "Please, Liz? Just let me explain. And then you can back to avoiding me all you want, I promise." I looked into his eyes, the same sad brown that I had seen last night in my dream and I knew that I couldn't deny him this. I didn't think it was a good idea – how could I know that I wasn't going to freak out again? – but I had to do this for him because I couldn't take knowing that I was the one causing him pain.
I sighed and then turned to Lydia and Sammy and said, "I'll meet you guys at the movie theater, alright?"
"Right," Sammy said, smiling at me. "See you then." She started pulling Lydia in the other direction now.
"Oh, so now we're going to the movie?" Lydia muttered. She turned to me, smirked and mouthed, "Good luck."
I couldn't help rolling my eyes at her. Then I turned to Seth and said, "Alright. Let's talk about this."
