Many thanks again to all who reviewed and read my story! It is very inspiring to hear your feedbacks and I hope you'll like this chapter. x
Chapter Eight : An Invitation
How I survived History, or even the rest of my classes was a question I would never answer, after a rough night's sleep filled with nightmares of Elsa and Hans I fully expected to find myself with detention for dozing off but somehow I managed to get through it all awake.
"Are you even listening to me?" Belle's voice cut through my sleepy haze and I blinked at her blankly, ok so I may have gotten through it awake but apparently not alert.
"Hmm?" I mumbled drowsily, she sighed and rolled her eyes."I'll take that as a no then, blimey Anna why are you so tired?"
"I…" a huge yawn stopped my reply and prompted a scowl from my brunette best friend, "I just had a couple of bad dreams." I finally managed to finish, her expression was suddenly worried.
"What kind of bad dreams?"
"Oh nothing, just stupid stuff you know." She didn't look convinced and I stifled another yawn.
"You're not telling me something." She concluded looking rather upset, my heart gave a guilty little squeeze and I sighed.
"Oh Belle please don't look so sad, it's nothing important really." But of course she didn't care, friends never kept secrets from each other no matter how inconsequential, she pouted moodily and stepped up her pace leaving me lagging behind.
"Fine, don't tell me, it's not like I care anyway." She said throwing me a scowl over her shoulder, I hurried to catch up with her tripping slightly because of my fatigue.
"Belle wait," she didn't, so I grabbed her arm and yanked her to a stop.
"Ouch!" she grumbled and I promptly shoved her out of the crowded corridor and into an empty classroom. "Ok, ok stop manhandling me!" she complained batting me away.
"Look, if I tell you then you have to promise not to make a big deal out of it ok?" she frowned at me for a few seconds before nodding her agreement.
"Lately I've been feeling some things…for someone." I said slowly, her expression lit up excitedly and I cringed.
"Who is he?" she demanded eagerly, I sighed and sat on the edge of a nearby table.
"Well, it's not a he," my hands gripped the table tightly.
Belle raised an eyebrow, her smile crooked. "And?"
"It's nothing serious, I've just started to feel a bit…different around her, it's probably nothing anyway but I can't seem to get her out of my head." I rubbed my temples which were now throbbing from another growing headache and she sat down beside me.
"Elsa." She said softly, offering me a little smile when she saw my shocked expression.
"How…how did you…?" how could she have possibly known? She giggled and patted my arm.
"Just a lucky guess." She shrugged lightly and draped a comforting arm around me.
"Really it's nothing, I'm sure it'll pass." I assured her, trying more to convince myself.
"Ok well if you're sure."
"I am, I think I'm just feeling lonely, you know with Valentine's day coming…"
"You're not the only one." She sighed miserably and looked at her hands in her lap. Ever since her now ex-boyfriend Adam left for college, Belle had been slightly upset, even though we all knew they had to go on separate ways in the end.
"I think I just wanted someone to care for, to love, and Elsa was unfortunate to be the first person I saw." I wanted to believe what I was saying was true, I wanted that to be the cause of all the changes to my feelings because it was so much simpler than the truth.
"So you think it'll pass then?" she asked, giving me a rather sceptical look.
"Maybe…well probably yeah…" I didn't sound very convincing but then I'd always been a terrible liar, Belle shrugged and slid down off the desk.
"Right well I'm off to the library, I've still got those three essays to write for English."
"Ok," another huge yawn engulfed me and I dropped down from the desk clumsily.
"Do you want to come with me? To get some peace and quiet." She offered as we rejoined the flow of students rushing to enjoy the rest of the day now that classes were over.
"Um, no thanks, I'm going to run for a bit" She raised a surprised eyebrow but said nothing.
"See you back in room." I threw her a little wave and hurried off towards the track, none of the track & field team had booked it for practise today so I could go out there myself.
I threw down my bag and tie and grabbed the shorts and shirt from my bag, it wasn't late but already the sun was disappearing behind the horizon and dimming the light. I started sprinting and jogged laughing gleefully at the feel of the wind ripping my hair off my face, sometimes I loved to come down when it was empty and just jog for a few hours – it helped to clear my head and relax me.
I didn't know how long I'd been out sprinting and then walking around the track but as I stopped I noticed I had an audience, someone was leant against one of the bleachers watching me above, I drew closer to my audience and saw it was Elsa.
"How long have you been watching me?" I asked as I watched her walking down the stairs towards me.
"A while, you're good – probably better than me" I blushed slightly at the compliment but thankfully the darkness hid it from her notice.
"I doubt that but thanks."
"How come you've never tried out for the team?" I sighed and collapsed down onto the cold grass.
"I don't know, sport was always my brothers' thing really."
"This from the daughter of an ex-Olympian?" she remarked with a smirk lowering herself down beside me.
"I know, it's silly but everyone expected me to be on the team just like my mum and my brothers and I guess I just wanted to break the mould."
"Fair enough," she shrugged and leant back onto her elbows casually.
"What brings you down here?" I was clutching at straws to keep up some kind of conversation, since the winter break I'd found it a bit awkward talking to her in case I accidentally let slip something that I shouldn't.
"I was in the library and I noticed Belle, she said you were a bit stressed and had gone to do some running so I came to see if you're ok." I met her eyes and saw the strangest look in them that I couldn't decipher.
"Oh, well I'm fine, just a bit…stressed." I laughed nervously and tore my eyes away, she shifted a bit closer to me and my heart started thudding against my ribs.
"What's wrong, you know you can talk to me."
"Oh it's just all the pressure of the exams and the homework piling up." I lied, it was possibly the most convincing lie I'd ever told and it actually sounded true.
"Mm, it's going to hit me hard next year too, I've gotten so used to slacking a bit with my GCSE over but after this year the load starts again for A-Level"
"Are you worried, about what grades you'll get?" she considered this for a few moments before sighing and lying back on the grass.
"I'm terrified but if you tell any of your brothers or even Hiccup that I will have to end you." We both laughed and I lay down beside her staring up at the darkening sky.
"There's so much riding on them it's scary, I mean your whole future is drawn from what grades you get, I try not to think about it though because as soon as I do I start panicking and things just get a ton worse." She sighed again and folded her hands underneath her head.
"I'm sure you'll do great, you've always had amazing grades, Mer and Hiccup were always complaining wishing they were as smart as you." She glanced across at me and raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"They actually said that?"
"Yep, but if you tell them I said that, I'm sorry but I'll have to get rid of you and your pretty face." I let out a nervous laugh as soon as I heard what I just said.
"Oh well I definitely don't want to die now so I'll forget you said anything." She flashed me a grin and I nodded, we turned to gaze back at the sky and I realized how much more relaxed I felt now.
"I wonder how long it'll be before someone comes looking for us." Elsa mused after a long silence.
"Probably not long." I grumbled not wanting the calm and quiet to end.
"It's so difficult to get time alone with anyone around here." My attention snapped back like the recoil of an elastic band and I turned to face her, her bold blue eyes had that same strange look in them as they had before. Did she mean what I thought she meant? Had she come down here because she wanted to be alone with me? The idea seemed utterly absurd and my rational brain quickly suppressed any hopeful thoughts that had been brewing. No of course she hadn't come to be alone with me, it was just a general comment, nothing more.
"Anna…"
"Elsa!" Hans' call cut off her sentence but the tender way in which she said my name was unmistakeable, we both sat up abruptly and turned to see my older brother striding towards us.
"Hi Hans, what's wrong?" She asked casually as we clambered back to our feet and brushed off the dirt and grass.
"I could use a little help with my History work." He said with a smile, I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously, that was a lie – Hans had the highest History grade out of all of his friends. He just wanted to spend time with Elsa.
"You do? Don't you normally do better than I do?" Elsa replied with a rather confused expression, apparently she smelt a rat too, Hans' cheeks turned a colour that matched his hair and he straightened his tie nervously.
"Well…yes, but there's something I'm stuck on this time." He stuttered a little the way he always did when he was guilty and beside me Elsa sighed.
"Ok, I'll help." She sounded more miserable than she should but it didn't stop the delighted smile from lighting up his face, she turned me with an apologetic look and I smiled weakly.
"I'll see you later Anna"
"Yeah, I guess so." I mumbled dryly, I could feel a growing sense of anger toward my brother and I didn't like it, I loved Hans and we'd been almost inseparable as kids, it didn't feel right to have such animosity towards him.
"If you go walking later I know the Quad is quiet." She told me in an encouraging tone, I squinted at her suspiciously as she turned and walked away with Hans, it might have been my imagination but that sounded like an invitation. Deciding it was too dangerous to get my hopes up I just pushed it from my mind before grabbing my stuff off the floor and trudging back towards the campus.
The drawing room was next to empty when I got back so I collapsed into an armchair by the crackling fire and drew my knees up to my chest comfortingly. I soon found my thoughts drifting to a certain Arandelle and this time I didn't try to stop them.
Someone was shaking me, firm hands were gripping my upper arms and jerking me about but my mind was struggling to understand or respond.
"ANNA!" The voice was familiar but muffled and far away, I groaned and tried to listen harder to make it clearer.
"Stop shaking her, you'll hurt her."Belle, that was definitely Belle's voice, it had to be.
"What do you want me to do? You wouldn't let me throw water on her or beat her awake with a pillow so this is all I have left." And that was Merida but what did she mean by beat me awake? I was already awake, sitting by the fire.
"You could just call her name, there's no need for a physical approach." Wait, if I was already awake then why couldn't I see them? Now that I thought of it I couldn't see anything, just darkness.
"There is every need for it, she sleeps like she's in a coma, have you ever tried waking her up?"
"Well…a couple of times but never when she was this tired, she didn't get a lot of sleep last night."
"Anna, come on Anna you need to get up." Another shake, this one was enough to snap me out of my sleepy limbo and my eyes fluttered open drowsily.
"About bloody time." My cousin complained giving me another shove.
"All right I'm awake!" I shot back thrusting out my foot and kicking her sharply in the shin.
"Ouch! This is the thanks I get for helping you?" I rubbed my tired eyes to stop them drooping closed again every time I blinked and sat up straight, I was still in the armchair by the fire so I must've dozed off.
"How long was I asleep?" Belle and Merida exchanged a clueless glance and both of them shrugged.
"We don't know, we got back from the library just and noticed you." Belle told me with a sympathetic smile, I glanced at my watch and groaned.
"Ugh it's been three hours, I'll never get that History work done today."
"Lesson learnt eh Love, don't fall asleep when you have work." Mer told me giving me a hard slap on the back before heading upstairs.
"Come on Anna, you need to sleep." Belle kindly helped me up onto my shaky legs and supported me as I walked drowsily up to bed.
The problem with going to bed early was that I always woke up restless at some point and this time was no exception, it had barely gone midnight when I found myself tossing and turning unable to sleep and in the end I threw back the covers and huffed in frustration. All around me were the quiet snores and heavy breathing of my sleeping classmates and I felt a stab of envy shoot through my chest.
After several minutes of failed attempts at getting back to sleep I reluctantly sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed groping in the dark for my shoes. I slipped silently out of the room and downstairs tugging my red dressing gown around me to stop me shivering from the bitter air, a little walk around would relax me and help me sleep again so I set off down a random street listening to my shoes tapping on the asphalt.
I'd been walking for about ten minutes when I realized where I was, right ahead of me was the path leading to the Quad, for a split second my heart stopped before it took off again in a frantic sprint. Was it possible that she was here waiting for me? Could it have really been an invitation after all? I don't know what it was that made me keep walking, whether it was hope or curiosity that kept my feet moving I wasn't sure but either way I soon found myself at the Quad and with a jolt I realized I wasn't alone.
Sitting on the floor with her back to the wall was Elsa, her light blue dressing gown hanging open loosely from her shoulders opening the view for her beige pyjamas which I recognised from when she slept at my house, she noticed me hovering uncertainly at the other end of the Quad and rose quickly to her feet.
"Hi," she greeted with an awkward smile, I laughed anxiously and shoved my hands deep into my dressing gown pockets.
"Hey." It wasn't the most dynamic response I could have mustered but I was still too stunned to manage anything better, I couldn't believe she was actually here, it meant that she really had said it as an invitation. Despite my better instincts I could feel a glimmer of hope begin to build within me.
"I was beginning to think you might not come." She said quietly averting her eyes from my questioning gaze.
"How long have you been out here?" I suddenly felt guilty for leaving her waiting because I didn't believe she would be here, she shrugged nonchalantly and sat back down by the wall.
"A while, I wasn't sure what time you'd come so I got here with enough time." Ok now I felt really guilty, I hung my head shamefully and moved to sit beside her.
"I'm so sorry, I wasn't sure you really meant to meet me so I didn't come."
"I didn't want to make it too obvious in case someone decided to interrupt again." I knew who she meant by that and cringed as I felt another flicker of irritation toward my brother. Then a sudden rush of guilt went through me. Brother, brother, brother.
"You can't really blame Hans, he just wants to spend more time with you." I tried to defend him knowing that if I wasn't so shy I probably would have done the exact same thing in his shoes, she sighed lightly and nodded.
"I know but I'm starting to feel like I hardly get to be around my other friends without him dragging me away." I winced at the word friends and she leant her head back letting it hit the stone wall with a soft thud. My little glimmer of hope darkened again as I realized she really just saw me as a friend.
"Do you come up here often then?" I asked looking around the curving open space, she followed my gaze and nodded.
"Lately I have been, I like to read here," she tugged a worn book out of her dressing gown pocket and showed it to me. "I'm not sure why but I find it more tranquil than the rest of the campus at night." I turned the book over in my hands and tried to read the title in the dim light.
"Jane Eyre?" I questioned, the title was unfamiliar to me but judging by the faded illustration it wasn't a modern book or even a textbook.
"It's an old book I found in an old shop, professor Truman recommended reading a few books to help with our Literature so I did."
"Hmm, so what's it about?" it was far too dark for me to be able to read the faint black summary on the back of the battered cover and I guessed Elsa used a torchlight to be able to read out here at night.
"Well essentially it's a love story but they're kept apart by various things until the end, ordinarily it's not my kind of book but I can't seem to put it down, this is the third time I've read it now." my eyebrows shot up and I stared at her incredulously.
"No way, you've read a love story three times?" even in the dark I noticed the colour in her pale cheeks deepen and she turned away, tucking her golden lock shyly.
"It's not just a love story, there's other stuff in it." I giggled at her embarrassment and laid the book back on her lap, she took it without meeting my gaze and slid it back into her pocket.
"It's so quiet up here." I mused listening to the perfect silence that had engulfed us, normally you could hear little noises throughout the campus during the night but here there was nothing but our shallow breathing.
"I know." She agreed glancing around the abandoned space, I drew my knees up to my chest to warm myself up a bit more.
"How are your classes going?"
"Um, pretty well I suppose, my chemistry grade has gone up loads thanks to you of course." I smiled at her gratefully and she gave me a satisfied grin.
"I'm glad, you should give Chemistry a chance Anna," she saw me pull a disgusted face and laughed, "I know it's dull at first glance but if you just look past that I really think you'd like it." I knew Chemistry was Elsa's favourite subject and despite my better judgement I knew that next time I had it I would follow her advice and try and enjoy it, just because she'd suggested it. I cringed at how silly that made me seem, hopelessly hooked on a girl so much so that I'd even try to like something I hated just because she liked it, how shallow of me.
"Hmm you're frowning, what's on your mind?" she asked gently studying the creases lining my forehead, immediately I smoothed them out and looked away.
"Nothing much, I'm just a bit tired."
"Oh well let me walk you back, you should get some sleep." I didn't really want to leave but honestly it was getting increasingly difficult to be so close to her and have to endure the torturous distance that was still between us, so I let her stand up and offer me her hand.
"Thanks." she pulled me to my feet and I stumbled slightly stepping clumsily towards her, the proximity to her body was intoxicating and in mere seconds it had already knocked me senseless. I gazed into her eyes riveted to the spot and felt every trace of logical thought slip from my mind, for a long while neither of us moved, we just stood silently staring into each other's eyes.
Light as a feather her fingertips softly touched the palm of my hand making my skin beneath them tingle with delight, without meaning to I stopped breathing, I looked down at my hand as her fingers crept a little further across my skin. Through the burning of my overheated skin her icy cool touch felt delicious, suddenly I thought of Hans and how hurt he would be if he could see us or worse – know how it made me felt, my breath which I'd been holding in came out in a panicked rush and I snatched back my hand sharply. Elsa took a stunned step backwards and I saw the pain of rejection flicker across her face before she pushed it away, my heart literally hurt to see it and my head was screaming at me telling me how stupid I was for pulling away when I wanted it so badly but I had to think about Hans.
"I'll walk you back." She said in an emotionless tone and I started to feel nauseous as I realized I may well have ruined even our friendship. I could already feel myself regretting my reaction but it was too late, I panicked and now I'd have to deal with the consequences of it, but that was little comfort to me as we walked in silence back to the brownstone house and Elsa left me standing alone with nothing but a nod as a farewell.
As I climbed the stairs back up to my room, I could feel the weight of what I'd done sinking in and tears flooded my eyes, I rarely cried but this time I felt like I needed it and so I let them spill over. I didn't expect anyone to be awake when I got back in but as I passed Belle's bed she whispered my name.
"Psst, Anna. Where have you been?" she hissed trying not to wake the others, I stepped out of my shoes and sat miserably on the edge of my bed.
"I was just walking." I worked to keep my voice steady though more tears were trickling down my cheeks, I didn't succeed in concealing my upset and Belle appeared beside me.
"Anna what's wrong, why are you crying?" her voice was thick with worry and I furiously wiped away the tears that had betrayed me.
"It's nothing really."
"Obviously it's something or else you wouldn't be upset."
"Please Belle, I don't want to talk about it right now." I begged, she sighed but nodded and I knew she'd let me talk about it when I was ready like the good friend she was. I hung my head sadly and she perched on the bed beside me wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders and letting me lean against her for support.
When I woke I rolled over to find Belle zonked out beside me, I smiled affectionately at my best friend and made a mental note to remember to thank her for comforting me last night. In the light of a new day things didn't seem so bad, I'd gotten along without Elsa for plenty of time prior to now so there was absolutely no reason why I couldn't continue to do so, and even if my rejection had pushed her further into the arms of Hans at least they'd be happy. Well that was what I told myself all morning anyway, I repeated in my head over and over again hoping that eventually I would believe it.
She was missing when we went to the hall for lunch, Belle and I took our usual seats opposite Hiccup and Harlov who were eating eagerly as was the norm with them.
"So, what number of helpings are you on now?" Belle asked playfully as the boys scooped up more bacon and toast, the three started talking merrily but I heard nothing of their conversation. Elsa appeared in the doorway, and her eyes met mine immediately, inside my chest my heart took on a frantic rhythm and I felt sick with nerves, but she simply smiled and made her way to the table she usually sat on. A rush of relief swept through me and I realized I'd been holding my breath, though I was sure my action would have had some sort of repercussion I knew things wouldn't be awkward at least.
