well works been insane, I've been sick as a dog, and I almost made a huge mistake and broke up with my boyfriend how's ur week going?
"A-are you sure we should be doing this?"a nervous filmmaker asked.
"Yes," Mimi said climbing the stairs ahead of them.
Behind Mark, Roger followed in tow weighed down with bags of party supplies and trash bags. They were going up to Collins and Angel's apartment to decorate, Angel would be home later today and needed the support.
But once they reached the door none of them could move. Apartment 9E it was the only door with a gold star on it. They hadn't seen much of Angel in weeks mainly because he was here, torturing himself, exercising to the point of exhaustion, and hiding food, vomit, and all sorts of stuff. This should be his home not hell hole.
"Well, uh what are we waiting for?" Roger asked and took the keys from Mimi.
He unlocked it and kicked open the door, it was still the same apartment. They stepped in, Roger placed the bags on the table and moved to turn on the tv.
"So where do we start?" Mark asked.
"We have to find anything bad Angel has stashed," Mimi began looking through stuff. "Everyone grab a trash bag."
As the poked and prodded around they found hidden half eaten food, diet pills, laxatives, exercise books, and calorie count books. It was horrifying and disgusting. Mimi seemed to know everywhere to look and everything to throw away even seemingly innocent things like magazines.
"You seem like you're coming from experience?" Mark commented nervously.
"I'm a dancer, Mark, I know most of the tricks."
Roger and Mark started at her in disbelief and fear.
She immediately corrected herself, "I eat, as far as the other girls at work... them,no so much."
Rocker kissed the top of her head as they moved to the bed room. They left nothing untouched, they found all of Angel's purging supplies in the trunk, junk food for binging in the closet, a shoe box full of laxatives, diet pills, and other supplements, and a diary full of models, calorie intakes for the passed few weeks, and weight goals. He wants to get down to 90 pounds. The flipped through a few more pages, he had written notes about how long he could go with out eating his record being a 50 hour fast before Collins noticed. It was sickening.
Roger ripped the book from Mimi hands and threw it in a trash bag. She had tears in her eyes, she couldn't believe how much her friend was suffering before her eyes.
"I think that's everything," Roger said gruffly.
"Right, we should decorate," the filmmaker quickly changed subject.
They walked back to the living room in silence and pulled out party decoration from a paper bag. They had spent two hours at the party store trying to pick a theme that didn't have to do with food or body image which was harder than it sounded. No princesses they're always too skinny and perfect, no fashion theme who wants dresses and hour glass figures everywhere, no beach theme because duh bathing suits, no travel themes like paris or Italy because it always goes back to the food. The only decoration they could find that had absolutely no correlation with food was unicorns. So it may be a bit childish but it did seem to fit. All the colors and glitter were cheerful and fit Angel well.
Mark checked his watch again, it was almost 1:30, "Hey guys, they're going to be home soon."
Mimi looked at a clock on the wall, "Yeah, we should get downstairs."
They put on their party hats and hurried down stairs. They stood on the sidewalk and waited, the boys felt rather stupid in the rainbow hats but it was for Angel.
Soon a cab stopped in front of them Collins got out and smiled. He quickly paid the driver.
"What is all this?" He asked smiling.
"Surprise!" They shouted.
"Its for Angel!" Mimi smiled playing with the hot pink boa around her.
Collins went to the other side of the car and helped Angel out. She was in her normal drag, everything seemed normal until she turned to face them.
"Thank you," she smiled weakly.
The three friends jaws dropped, not only at Angel's physical appearance of being dangerously thin but because of the plastic coming out of her nose. She had been put on a feeding tube.
As she saw her friends reaction she used her hand to cover it, "I-it's gross, I know," she said sad and embarrassed.
"Oh, who cares about that" Mimi ran to hug her friend. "We have a party for you!"
Angel's hear skipped a beat, parties meant food, and people, and having to eat in front of people.
"Oh,y-you didn't have to."
"Yes we did! Don't look so scared!" Mimi lead her into the building wrapping the boa around her.
The guys fell behind, just far enough to be out of ear shot but still close enough for Collins to keep an eye on her.
"We cleaned the place out," Roger said in a low voice, "threw out all the stuff we could find."
"Thanks, was there a lot?" Collins asked, he looked tired.
Both Mark and Roger nodded, he let out a long sigh.
"So, uh, what's with... the" Roger tried to ask and motioned to his nose.
"It's a feeding tube."
"I know that I just mean, why?"
He sighed again, "The doctor wanted it, you should have seen how mad he was when I told him. He fought them like crazy. You don't know how hard this is."
"We're here for you," Mark finally spoke up.
Collins looked between the two and smiled it paid to have good friends.
When they got to the apartment Angel expected to see food and people everywhere but was shocked to see the apartment empty except for the unicorns everywhere. On the table instead of bowls of food was all of her nail polish, make up, and some movies. The coffee table was cover in old stuffed animals from her closest instead of booze. It was calming there was no pressure of food, she felt at home, this was a pleasant surprise.
"If you want food or anything its all in the fridge," Mimi told the couple.
Angel pulled her into a hug, "Oh chica, you're the best!"
Mimi smiled and led her to the table and began to file her nails in preparation for a manicure. She jabbered away about what had been going on at the loft, Angel just listened. Collins sat on the couch with Mark and Roger, they drank beer and joked around things felt normal again.
It ended quickly, Collins watch began to beep. Roger checked the clock, it wasn't time for their AZT they pretty much all took it at the same time.
"Angel," Collins said softly and got up. "Come on it's time for your.." he trailed off.
She looked to the ground sadly, "right, sorry Mimi I'll be right back."
"Wait, where are you going?"
She reached into her back pack and pulled out a can of supplement, the kind she had back at the hospital. She shook the can up and handed it to Mimi, "I have to have one of these every few hours, they said it'll help."
Mimi turned it over in her hands, all it had it a logo on it and not much else.
"They don't put the nutritional facts on it for obvious reasons," Angel said in a falsely cheerful voice in an attempt normal.
Mimi handed it back to her not sure of what to say, "That's cool," she nodded awkwardly.
"Come on, Ang." Collins stood in the hallway.
She followed him to their bedroom for some privacy, she thought this new ritual was gross and didn't want to be seen during it. She sat on the bed and stared at her hands embarrassed, ashamed, and nervous. He shut the door behind them and opened the can, he filled a large syringe full of the liquid and attached it to the end of the tube. As he poured it down she began coughing at the sensation in the back of her throat.
"What's wrong?" He asked pausing.
"Nothing, its just cold."
"I'm sorry, maybe next time we can heat it up?" He finished the syringe and filled it again emptying the can.
Angel didn't watch any of it, if she did it would send her into hysterics. If she didn't see she could almost pretend it wasn't happening.
"Thank you," he kissed her head they supplement was gone.
"For what?"
"You didn't fight me."
"We have guests," she said in a small voice. "I didn't want to scare them."
Collins just smiled and kissed her again,she was being calm and brave. He didn't want to push her any farther.
"Come on, let's get back out there," he helped her up.
They walked back out into the living room to see Mimi and Roger sitting on the floor, on the coffee table sat Mimi's bong. It was a glass bong that stood a foot and a half tall, it was painted red and covered in stickers. The couple sat on the floor preparing it, mimi filled it with watch while Roger packed the bowl with pot.
Mimi looked at Collins and Angel's confused face, "It's not one of our parties unless Collins is stoned off his ass."
"You are absolutely right!" Collins laughed and joined them on the floor.
Mimi cheered ,"let's spark up!"
Angel hesitated, weed was on her black list of foods and drinks she did not allow herself. While weed is not a food it smoking it gives you the munchies, and the munchies leads to binging, and binging means hundreds of empty calories, even thousands. But it had been months since she last smoked and she missed it.
"Are you gonna join us?" Roger asked.
She looked at Mark who was on the couch, he had never smoked, and probably never will. She could easily join him on the couch and watch him drink. But it wasn't the same, and she could use the relaxing properties the plant had to offer.
"What the fuck, sure," she responded and sat down.
She needed to shake her anxiety, her nerves were already starting to get to her about the supplement absorbing in her stomach right now.
They sat in a circle, Roger took the first hit and followed stoner edict of passing the bong to the right. They smoked bowl after bowl, attempting to blow smoke rings and suppress coughs with little success. Once they reached the point of being so high they could barely speak it was time for fun. They did stupid things to make each other laugh, like roll around, tell joke that they couldn't remember, and play stupid kid games like simon says. Soon hunger set in Mimi and Angel raided the fridge and brought back most of what was inside, the four ravenous adults devoured the food. They ate until their hunger pains were replaced with the pain of an over full stomach.
Angel stayed relax, her calm mind had brought her back to who she was before this all started. She didn't want to run to the bathroom to purge, she didn't want to restrict for days to make up for this, she didn't want to take diet pills to burn it off in advance, all she wanted to to was be with her friends. She knew this feeling would end soon and she would cry about this tomorrow but for this moment she was happy.
can Angel get back to healthy?
Guess we'll have to wait and see...
