I have outlines in place through ch 12. So, we're about half-way home if everything goes according to plan. As always, every time you leave a review, my dancing llama squad will come and visit you in your dreams. Lots of ground to cover yet, so... Get on with it! Right.
Chapter Seven: Champagne, Roses and Robert Palmer
Booth's phone rang as he pulled away from the Jeffersonian the next morning. He'd successfully blocked Marcy's calls to go straight to voice mail last night, so he picked up with a smile in his voice, "Booth."
"Agent Booth. It's Dr. Zack Addy."
It had been months since Booth had gone to see Bones' wonder kid in the mental ward, "Zack! Wow! It's been a long time. I'm sorry I haven't..."
"I didn't call for an apology concerning your lack of visitation."
Straight to the point, the kid sure hasn't changed, "OK. What's up?"
"I have some questions for you, Agent Booth. Dr. Brennan suggested I call."
"Shoot."
"I'm sorry?"
Booth sighed. Squints. Can't live with 'em, can't prosecute without 'em. "That means ask your questions."
"Right. Agent Booth, do you love Dr. Brennan?"
"What?" He hit the accelerator a little too hard pulling out into traffic, squealing his tires and cutting off a little old lady.
"I'm sure I phrased that correctly. Was there static in the phone service?"
"No, Zack. I heard you."
"Then please answer the question, Agent Booth."
Duck, dodge and weave. If they thought the kid was unstable now, they should see him after Booth tried explaining the mess his relationship with Bones was. "Bones and I are partners. We've been partners for a long time, so yes, I guess you could say we've become close."
"That was not the question Agent Booth. I asked if you love Dr. Brennan."
Diversions weren't working. This was really none of his business. "I don't see what this has to do with anything, Zack."
"In my current course of therapeutic treatment I am learning how to observe human behavior. I was given several photographs of you and Dr. Brennan. I am asking for confirmation of my hypothesis that you love her."
"I..." No dice getting a word in. The squint was on a roll.
"I called Dr. Brennan a few days ago and spoke with her. I believe her hypothesis that love is a simple matter of brain chemicals to be erroneous."
That was new. Bones hadn't mentioned he called. He must've really rattled her cage."Did you tell her that?"
"Yes, I did."
"Well, what did she say?"
"She did not respond. Apparently, she had a prior engagement and was running late."
Sure she did. "Uh-huh."
"But she did suggest I speak with you. That is the reason I am calling. Are you in love with Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth?"
Booth made static noises between words as he spoke, "Zack?" Static. "Zack are you there?" Static. "I can't hear you..." Booth clapped his phone shut. It rang a few moments later, he picked up with a guilty wince, "Booth."
"Agent Booth, if you do not wish to discuss the matter with me, that is all you need to communicate. But before you hang up on me again, allow me to state quite clearly that I have sufficient data to conclude Dr. Brennan is a good person. If you in any way hurt or bring harm to Dr. Brennan, I am a forensic genius. Despite my self-imposed circumstances, I can and will get away with murder."
The kid might not be much to look at, but Booth knew from personal experience he had a brain the size of Jupiter. He wasn't bluffing. He'd also hate explaining to Bones why he shot a twelve year old. "Now hold on, Zack! Nobody's going to hurt anybody! You're right, OK? Your hypotha-thingy is right. I love her. You don't hurt the people you love."
"I appreciate the confirmation on my hypothesis. She reciprocates those feelings, Agent Booth."
"What?" The SUV swerved again. Just thinking about Bones was dangerous while driving.
"She loves you."
"No, Zack I don't think..."
"Have you told her you love her?"
"Well, not in so many words, but I asked her if she wanted to date last year..."
"You did it wrong, Agent Booth. Just tell her you love her."
He wasn't taking dating advice from a guy that he remembered having the social skills of a hamster, "You don't just come right out of the blue and tell someone you love them."
"You do with Dr. Brennan. Every time she weighs the situation logically, you're going to lose, Agent Booth. Her love for you is so strong she'd rather have you in her life in any capacity, rather than risk losing you by changing your relationship. You need to eliminate the risk in the equation by assuming it yourself. You need to tell her you love her first. Although, I have to admit, I fail to see what the color blue has to do with it." A long pause filled the line, "If you don't, I will."
Booth grabbed the steering wheel and swerved hard left to miss the idiot who couldn't merge onto the highway. "Zack! Don't you dare! I'll..." The line was already dead.
Insert dancing roses line break here. :)
Fidgeting in his tux, Booth waited impatiently in the living room for Bones to finish getting ready. He checked his watch for the tenth time in as many minutes. He rubbed his left foot on his right calf to clear up a tiny smudge on the top of his shoe and called out, "Bones! Com'on! We're gonna be late for our own par..."
Her cleavage was shoved to the brim of the strapless dark red gown. It held every delicious curve, leaving very little to the imagination. "I told you I was coming, Booth." As she turned to fasten an earring, he saw the slit up one side that exposed her leg to the hip and ended at the bottom in a matching stiletto heel.
"Wow!" Booth struggled to keep his eyes in their sockets, "Bones, baby...You look... Wow!" He grabbed her wrap and draped it over her shoulders.
Smiling, she turned for him, "I should assume that 'wow' is a colloquial way of stating that I look presentable?"
"Yeah! You look amazing! I'm going to be the envy of every guy in the room." He lightly kissed her cheek.
She smiled, "Thank you. You look pretty amazing yourself. Just let me get my evening bag and we can leave." The wiggle her hips made while walking in that dress could melted plate steel, Booth was sure of it. He took a deep, steadying breath. "Oh and I wanted to thank you, Booth." Bones tucked a lipstick in her small clutch, "The flowers were quite lovely. I think it's the first time someone has ever given me actual long stemmed roses."
Booth panicked on the inside. He hadn't sent any flowers. "Bones, I didn't..."
Worry crossed Brennan's face, "But they were signed by you."
The stalker.
The little hairs on Booth's arms stood on end. He flipped open his phone and while it was ringing double checked his side arm. "Perotta? Booth. Listen, Bones had flowers delivered to her today. The card said they came from me, but they didn't. I need someone to swing by her office and check them over for bugs or poison or... just get them out of there. And I wanna know who sent them as soon as you find out. This could be the break we've been waiting for." Booth snapped his phone shut, "Com'on Bones. Let's go make every guy in the FBI eat his heart out." The safest place he could think of was a room filled with FBI agents.
"Eat his heart? What? Shouldn't we be going back to my office to see about the flowers?" Brennan dug in her heels as he tried to pull her out the door.
"Delegation, Bones." He pecked her on the cheek, "Perotta can handle it. Let's go get our award, baby." Brennan rolled her eyes and followed him out the door on his arm.
Insert smirking love potions marked: danger! line break here. :)
After the awards were presented and the speeches given, the champagne had poured and the agents and scientists alike had imbibed in toast after toast. Adventure Man had barely managed to slip the love potion into the last glass of Dr. Brennan's champagne before Daisy wanted to slip off for a night cap.
Sweets and Daisy were the first to arrive at the Founding Fathers and the first to greet Kenny, the barkeep and he returned the wave saying, "Hey! We just got the brand new karaoke machine set up!" Sweets grinned like a little kid, knowing his version of Lime in the Coconut was just a few minutes away. He ordered drinks for himself and Daisy while she went to look at the song list.
They chose a corner close to the microphone and pushed two tables together. Wendall, Vazeeri, Clark and Stephanie arrived. More tables were pushed together and the song machine was christened with Lance's version of his signature song. Still, the group kept arriving. Angela and Dr. Hodgins, Cam and Mr. Fisher and Mr. Nigel-Murray. Booth and Brennan came in, with Booth shouting to Kenny, calling for a round of drinks for the house. A cheer went up throughout the bar.
Bones was glued to his side. After Perotta had called and told him not to worry about the flowers, insisting it was harmless and she would explain Monday, he relaxed and had a good time. Award dinners were usually boring and stuffy, but tonight had been amazing; every guy in that ballroom wanted what he had on his arm. Er, almost had.
It wasn't until the car ride afterward that things had gotten, well, weird. Bones had put her hand on his knee, massaging it and driving him crazy with thoughts of peeling her out of that gown the whole way over. Maybe she'd just had a little too much champagne. Who knew? So, being a gentleman, he'd been extra careful getting her out of the car and tucking her into his arm as they'd walked in.
He almost walked right back out again when he saw the karaoke machine. The last time they'd seen one of those, Booth had taken a bullet for her and almost died. He felt sure it was going to ruin the evening, but nothing seemed to bother Bones tonight. She must've decided she was gonna let her hair down and have some fun.
At the moment, Daisy and Sweets were singing a duet of Kiss On My List by Hall and Oates. Four tables of squints were toasting and singing along. Bones shouted encouragement as Booth ordered the drinks. When he got back to the table, the song was finished. As he handed his partner her drink, she skimmed her hand down his chest with a throaty, "Thank you."
Angela's eyebrows went up with a smile as her best friend radar went off. She, in turn, whispered to Hodgins. She then tapped Brennan's arm, "Having a good time tonight?"
Bones leaned closer to hear over the music, "Yes. Booth is a most attentive date."
Angela smirked her eyes darting to Booth, "I can see he's getting your undivided attention, too."
Bones half-smiled, like the cat who was about to eat the proverbial canary, "Booth has always had exceptional symmetry. But I think the tuxedo is giving him an unfair advantage tonight."
He took a seat next to Bones and she wasted no time in running her hand up and down his thigh. Now, a man had his limits and the strain must have been showing on Booth's face about now because Sweets was staring, his eyebrows hugging the ceiling. Hodgins, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, turned to him and said, "She's lost it, Goose."
Booth batted surreptitiously at Brennan's hand under the table as he plastered on a smile for the Bug and Slime Guy. He wasn't sure if Hodgins was trying to drown him or throw him a life line. The movie reference to Top Gun wasn't lost on him, but there was no way he was getting up there to sing with Hodgins. No. Way. "Uh, no she hasn't." Hodgins laughed out loud, standing. Booth began to panic, "Hodgins! No!"
Hodgins wasn't going to be denied, "Yeah, man, she has." He punched his request into the machine and took up the microphone as the squints went wild, "You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips..." And instantly You've Lost That Loving Feeling was added to the list of songs Booth never wanted to hear again. He was still fighting a losing battle with Bones under the table and squeaked when she found a particularly sensitive spot. He leaned into her whispering loudly over the music, "What's gotten into you tonight, Bones?" He caught Sweets staring again and raised his hand in a half-hearted wave.
She leaned close to his ear, her whispers sending chills to his spine, "You are very handsome in a tuxedo, Booth. I don't believe I have lost that loving feeling." She subtly licked her lips and her eyes bounced from his lips to his eyes.
She might have kissed him then. In front of everyone. He nervously scanned the room and caught Sweets still staring. She was leaning in for the kill, closer and closer until whoever had the microphone next grabbed her attention by saying, "I'd like to dedicate this to Agent Booth and Dr. Brennan." Booth almost cried with relief. The singer began to belt out his version of No One Is To Blame. The song was about good old unrequited love. Booth mentally made a note to kill Nigel-Murray later and dump his body somewhere, even if it would be found. He'd take prison any day over this. Booth squeaked again and batted at Brennan's hand. Hell, with the pressure he was under, Caroline could probably plead insanity and he and Zack would have matching extra-long sleeve coats.
By the time the British Dead Man finished, Booth was all but begging for mercy. He half-stood at the table and said a little too loudly, "Bones, why don't you sing us one?" To his relief, many of the people at the tables begged, pleaded and cajoled.
Bones blinked in surprise, then a sly smile that made Booth cringe on the inside crossed her lips, "Sure, Booth. I know one." Bad idea, Booth's gut screamed. She leaned over to her left and whispered it in Angela's ear. A shriek of delight erupted from her best friend. Oh, yeah. That was so not good. They both left the table, Brennan to grab the microphone and Angela to start the music.
His gut had never been more right. He slouched in his chair as Bones sang her version of Like A Virgin. She didn't just sing it, she slinked it in that tight little satin dress; and she slinked the whole damn thing right at him. The squints went crazy laughing and whooping and carrying on. It just egged her on. Meanwhile, a blush the size of a red tide was climbing his neck above his collar. What had gotten in to her? Was she drunk? He hadn't been counting her drinks, but usually she could drink him under the table.
Returning to the her seat, Bones leaned into his ear, tingling his spine with her breathy whisper, "How'd I do?"
The blush reached Booth's hairline, "Uh... Great, Bones." He stage yawned, "I'm getting kinda tired, I think it's time to go."
She reached under the table until he squealed again. Hodgins caught it this time and leaned over to whisper it to Angela. They had to get out of here. Now. But Bones, or whoever body-snatched her, wasn't quite done yet, "But you haven't sung me a song yet, Booth." She pouted, "I sang you one."
Quick as lightening, he was weighing the embarrassment factor of singing versus having the whole team, whom they had to work with again on Monday, watch as Bones tried to cop another feel under the table, "I sing you a song and we can go?" Bones nodded as she wrapped her painted red lips around the straw to her drink. St. Christopher, St. Peter, St. Paul, St. Matthew... And now to top it off, Caroline and Gordon-Gordon took the last two chairs at the tables. The need to escape outweighed any harassment he was going to have to endure. He leaned in to whisper in her ear for a change, "This one's for you, Bones."
Crossing to the machine, he didn't have to think about what he was going to sing. It was the same song he was going to sing to her that night so many years ago when he was shot. The music started and Booth added his own special swagger to Bad Case of Loving You. The opening line said it all: "Doctor, Doctor!Gimmie the news! I got a bad case of loving you...". Robert Palmer must have known Bones in a previous life. There was no other explanation.
To Booth's credit, he got a standing ovation. Ignoring calls for more, he made a bee-line for Bones, stuffed her wrap under one arm, and was prepared to haul her out in a fireman's carry if necessary. To his relief, she stood, let him cover her shoulders and tuck her under his arm. As they said their good-nights, he could hear Caroline really nailing the first bars of When A Man Loves A Woman in her Cajun froze and turned to the stage, his jaw woman could sing. Who knew? As much as he wanted to stick around and listen, he spun and wove them to the door while everyone was distracted. They were almost home free when Bones smiled that sly smile and gave his butt a squeeze. In front of God, Caroline - who missed her note, and everybody.
Out near Brennan's car, Booth hit the unlock switch on the remote. He was reaching over to open her door when she spun him fast and pinned him up against the car with her body. "Bones? I don't think..."
"Booth! It is customary to give the lady a good night kiss." She didn't even give him time to draw a breath, she just wrapped her arms around his neck and laid one on him. She was on fire and what the hell happened next was anybody's guess. He didn't even know how long they were under. When he came to his senses, Booth found one of his hands in her hair, the other on her behind. They were both struggling to catch their breath. She might look and smell like his partner, but this was not Bones. Seeley Joseph Booth wasn't about to settle after all these years. He broke contact like he'd been burned and opened her door. Not waiting for her to get in, he crossed to the driver's side and slid behind the wheel.
Once both doors were shut, he grabbed the steering wheel with both fists in frustration, "Bones! You're killing me! We are not having sex." He turned the engine over and, difficult as it was to do in Bones' little wind-up toy car, screeched the tires out into traffic.
Big thanks for helping the storyline along goes to:
Harry Nilsson (Lime In The Coconut), Hall & Oates (Kiss On My List), Columbia Pictures for allowing me to butcher the dialogue of Top Gun, The Righteous Brothers (You've Lost That Loving Feeling), Howard Jones (No One Is To Blame), Madonna (Like A Virgin), Robert Palmer (Bad Case of Loving You), and helping Caroline to kick it old school, Mr. Percy Sledge (When A Man Loves A Woman). Thanks folks, it wouldn't have been half as much fun without you and I never intended any copyright infringement!
