Love Goes On

Chapter 8: Going away

Weeks pass and now Christina is twenty weeks pregnant. She's finding out the gender today. She's excited to say the least. So is Uriah and everyone else. I'm excited too, I guess, but with everything going on at the moment I just can't handle it.

It's been twenty three weeks since Caleb died and the war ended. Forty eight weeks since the war started and my parents died. And fifty two weeks since I chose to come to Dauntless. That means I've been Dauntless for a year now, and all it has brought me is death, and pain. Though, I do have some great friends, and Tobias of course. But most of my time as a Dauntless citizen has been full of pain.

I am in the kitchen, making Tobias and I some dinner since he gets home from work soon. I've taken a liking to cooking since it helps me forget, even for a little while. I decided to make a stir fry. I found the recipe in an old cook book that I found and decided to give it a go. Tobias likes it when I cook, though, just as I like it when he does. He thinks I'm better than him, but I think he's better than me.

I hear the door open and close. I soon feel strong, familiar, comforting arms wrap around my waist from behind as I stand against the oven, frying the meat and vegetable mixture, getting ready to add the noodles.

"Hey." I say, most of my stuttering has gone now. I only stutter on occasion, or when I have a nightmare of something. I still have nightmares most nights but the sleeping pills allow me to actually get some sleep before they start so I can get more sleep.

"Hey, smells good."

"Thank you. It will be done soon, could you wash up and lay the table for me whilst I finish it off and dish up?"

"Sure." He kisses my cheek and does what I asked him to. I add some noodles and the sauce and let it fry for a few more minutes before serving up.

He sits opposite me as we eat.

"This is really good." He tells me.

"Thanks. How was work?"

"Okay, I guess. There's this thing, though?"

"What thing?"

"They want me to go to Amity for a month to work on something."

"W-what? Y-you can't l-leave m-me here f-for a month."

"I know. That's why I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me. We could get away from here for a bit, as a vacation. Explore Amity more than we were able to last time we were there. Get you away from a lot of the bad memories and take your mind off things for a bit. I thought it would do you some good, getting away from here for a little while. But if you don't want to come I won't go and someone else can do it, I promise."

"O-okay. Let's go."

"Are you sure?" I nod.

"W-when do we l-leave?"

"Next week. I'll get Hana to give us another portable tank that we can take with us as well, just in case." I nod again and go back to eating. "Sorry if I scared you."

"It's okay."

A week later and we are on our way to Amity, Tobias is driving the car he was given for becoming a leader, and I am in the passenger seat next to him. Turns out Christina and Uriah are having a girl. I bet Christina can't wait to drag her daughter shopping, and dress her up in cute outfits, and host slumber parties for all her friends. We girls had a slumber party at Christina's apartment a couple of weeks ago. It was fun but way over the top. I mean, there were balloons, streamers and banners everywhere. It was almost as if we were celebrating something, but we weren't celebrating anything. It was just a sleepover.

Tobias has taken me out on a few dates recently as well. They've been the best things to happen since I joined Dauntless in all honesty. The first one was at the Ferris wheel. We climbed it again, but not as high as we did during capture the flag, we stopped at the ledge and sat on it for a little while. We also had a nice picnic as we sat next to the wheel, and we watched the sun set and looked at the stars. It was a beautiful evening. Another one took place at the net. We ate a meal under the net and when we were done we climbed onto it, laid on our back, and watched the stars again. It's become like our thing. Watching the sun set and looking at the stars. We do those things after every date, and sometimes from our balcony as well.

He is just amazing.

We've been in Amity for a week now. It's been great. We've been staying in a little, two bedroom hut on the outskirts of the other houses. It's beautiful. The whole bottom floor is open plan. It's a living room, a dining room and a kitchen in one large room. Then you go upstairs and there's the master bedroom, an airing cupboard, a bathroom, and a double sized bedroom.

Every day I wake up and Tobias has made something nice for breakfast. Then he goes to work until lunch time whilst I stay at home and read a book or whatever. Then he comes home to something I made for lunch and we spend the afternoon exploring, picking apples in the orchards, or strawberries in the fields. We help out some Amity folk as they harvest or fill the trains with goods. We eat dinner in the cafeteria, not eating any of the bread, and then we lay on the grass outside our hut and watch the sun set and look at the stars. I haven't had as many nightmares or anything since we've been here either. I guess that's a good thing.

Tobias is at work for the morning at the moment, and I am at home, reading a book I found in a chest, waiting for about half eleven to come around so I can start making us some lunch.

There's a knock on the door and I stand up to open it. There's a little girl, about ten years old maybe, wearing a yellow dress with orange flowers on it, holding a bouquet of daisies in her hands.

"Your boyfriend asked me to deliver these to you." She gives them to me then runs away. I shut the door and smile at the flowers in my hand. I notice there's a letter in between some of the flowers and I take it out before putting the flowers in a vase that I just filled up with water.

I open the letter and it reads:

Dearest Tris,

I'm sorry if you don't like the flowers, I don't know what your favourites are and I thought they looked pretty, and simple, much like you. You are amazing, words can't even describe how I feel about you. You're beautiful, brave, smart, kind, selfless, honest, amazing, gorgeous, perfect, and so much more. You've been through so much in this past year that it makes me wonder how you haven't broken into pieces yet. I know if I had been through any of the stuff you did I probably wouldn't be here right now. So don't keep putting yourself down by saying you're weak because you aren't. You're anything but weak. And stop saying you're ugly as well because you really aren't. You're the strongest person I've ever met. And I love you, more than anything in this entire world, more than I ever have or ever will love anyone.

I know you're scared about the future, and I know you're dealing with a lot right now, but I promise that I'm never going to leave your side. I will always be here for you, whether that is to hold your hand when you're in pain, to hold you when you're crying, or to rub your back when you feel sick, I will always be here. No matter what happens, and no matter what you say, I am never going to leave. You wanna know why, it's because I can't live without you. I don't want to live without you. Just the thought of living without you scares the shit out of me (excuse my language). You keep telling me that you don't deserve me because I deserve someone better. But the truth is that I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, you deserve someone better than me. And I know that you'll never stop feeling that way, and I'll never stop feeling the way I do, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this for the long run. I'm in this until the day I die, which I hope will be when we're old and wrinkly, I hope it's the same with you as well. And you know what, I'll be in this even after the day I die, wherever I am I will always be in love with you. Nothing will ever change that.

And by now you're probably wondering what the hell this is all about. For starters it's me telling you how much you mean to me, but bear in mind that there isn't enough words in the dictionary that can describe how I feel for you. But if you want to know what's really going on, open the door.

A tear slips out of my eye at the end of it. He really thinks all of that about me? How can he?

And why do I have to open the door?

I put the letter down and go to the door again, and open it.

I find the shock of my life.

Tobias is on the other side, down on one knee, with a beautiful ring in his hand.

"I take it you read the letter?" I nod, still in shock as more tears trickle down my cheeks. "Beatrice Prior, I love you. And I'm going to tell you that every day for the rest of my life whether you want me to or not. I meant every single thing I wrote in that letter, and I mean so much more. There really isn't enough words in this language or any other that explains how I feel for you. I know this is probably too soon, and I know you're dealing with a lot right now, so it's completely okay if you say no. But I'm never going to leave you. Not ever. No matter what. And we don't have to get married now, I will wait forever if I have to. But Tris, my love, will you marry me?"

Is this really happening? Did he really just ask me to marry him?

More and more tears line my cheeks as I nod and manage a small 'yes'.

He smiles, sliding the ring on my finger as he stands up and kisses me, wrapping his arms around my waist as mine go around his neck. He leads us inside, still kissing me, and he shuts the door so we aren't out in the open anymore.

We only pull back when we need to catch our breaths and we are both smiling as our foreheads lean against one another.

"That is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it. I'm also really glad you said yes."

"Well, I wouldn't want to marry anyone else."

"Neither would I. Did you like the flowers?"

"I love them. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Anything for you, soon to be Mrs Eaton."

"I like the sound of that."

"So do I." We cuddle up on the sofa. "When do you want to get married?"

"I don't know. Maybe in a year. Not too soon, but not too far away."

"Perfect."

"I love you, Tobias. Thank you for today, and for everything. You're amazing, too."

"You're welcome, Tris, I love you."

We stay cuddled together for a while, until we get hungry anyway and Tobias decides to make lunch for us.

We spend the afternoon in the hut, cuddling, kissing, talking, and hoping. As the sun starts to set we go outside and lay on the grass, side by side, watching and looking.

And I start thinking that maybe, just maybe, I can have a little bit of hope for the future. I still won't believe it until it actually happens, but I can have a little bit of hope. And I think that is enough for now.

Hey Ravens.

I will update again when I can.

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