The Broken Smile
Ch. 8
I couldn't take this constant fear, confusion and pain anymore. I had to tell him. Drunk or not, it had to be said.
"You really wanna know what it means…?" I started as I fearfully stared into his glazed eyes.
"Y-YEAH! I ALREADY SAID IT ONCE DIDN'T I!" He yelled and his glare deepened; making his eyes glow dark.
I finally brought up the courage and pushed him away. He fell to the floor and stared at me. "EXACTLY WHAT IT FUCKING SOUNDS LIKE!" I snapped.
Ren didn't say anything all he did was stare.
"ALL YOU'VE DONE SINCE WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS IS CONSTANTLY HIT ME!" Relieving all this pent up stress and anger started to feel good. I liked having the upper hand for once. "YOU FORCE ME TO DO EVERYTHING THAT I DON'T WANT TO DO!"
Ren struggled to his feet, trying to keep his balance. He stared at him, his blank expression unchanging.
"I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, DO YOU TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION HOW I FEEL! APPARENTLY NOT! YOU EVEN RAPED ME WHEN WE GOT DRUNK!"
Ren's eyes widened "B-But…you… I thought—
"I'D FORGET ABOUT IT! NO! OF COURSE NOT! ALL YOU EVER DO IS USE ME AS YOUR LITTLE SEX TOY AND PUNCHING BAG! IM FUCKING SICK OF IT!"
Ren glared and managed to come to eye level with me. "LOOK WHO'S FUCKING TALKING! YOU'VE KISSED ME SO MANY TIMES AND WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!" He argued.
He had a point… but that wasn't the only reason I was angry.
"THEN EXPLAIN THIS TO ME, WHAT DO I DO TO YOU THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF ME!"
Ren got silent. He bit his lip, attempting to say something. He was at a lost for words.
"EXACTLY! YOU JUST ENJOY HITTING ME SO MUCH! EVEN WHEN I TRY SHOWING YOU SOME LOVE AND CARE, YOU JUST TOSS ME ASIDE!" I started shaking. This felt good, but I didn't want to go too far. Even though I know how much he deserves to be yelled at.
I turned away and panted. My heart was racing, my thoughts were scrambling. I was at a loss of what to do. All I really wanted was to leave…but I couldn't.
"You don't know how much I fucking hate you…" Ren said softly with anger and a slight growl.
"Oh trust me, I KNOW. I can tell by all the abuse you show to me…I want to leave you so bad, but if I do, you'll come running back and trying to make me feel better!" I turned to face him, glaring into his eyes. "Which I know, the second I forgive you, you'll just brutally attack me more!"
Ren stared at me. His glare slowly turned into an unbelievable stare, as if he couldn't believe what I had just said.
That was too much, wasn't it?
"I've seen it happen so many times in the past…and you NEVER apologize! You only did once...once." I glared at him. Slowly, I made my way to the door.
Ren looked away, knowing that every word I spoke was true.
"You honestly don't know how much mental trauma you've done to me all these fucking years, don't you?" I said with pure anger and annoyance.
"I mean, if you weren't already a sadistic asshole, I'd claim you as on—
"IM SORRY STIMPY!" Ren shouted as tears filled his eyes.
I was awestruck at his comeback. But I knew he didn't mean it. He never liked hearing the truth. "Please you're just ly—
"NO IM NOT!" Tears slowly slid down. He ran over to me. "YEAH I KNOW YOU THINK I'M LYING, IM NOT!"
You're just drunk you don't mean it…
Ren fell to his knees and started breaking down. "I-I DON'T MEAN TO ABUSE YOU EVERY FUCKING SECOND, I DON'T!" He stared at me.
I watched him, my glare softening. But I wasn't backing down. Slowly, I took hold of the doorknob.
Ren stared at me and cried, "I KNOW YOU THINK I DON'T MEAN IT, BUT I DO!" Tears slide down and he sniffled. "WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOU FUCKING BELIEVE ME!"
I looked away and bit my lip. Honestly, all I wanted to hear was him say sorry…which he hardly says until now. I looked back at him. "You can s-say you're sorry about all the abuse you caused me all these years…"
"I'M SORRY, STIMPY! I REALLY A-AM!" he stood up and cupped his hands as if he were begging. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"
I released my grip on the doorknob and stared at him. He looked so pitiful…but mostly extremely upset. I turned to face him. "I know that the second I give in to you, you'll just attack me!"
Ren stood up and grabbed my arms roughly. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT I WONT? HUH?" He shook me.
I closed my eyes and tears slide down. "YOU ARE RIGHT NOW!" I winced in pain at Ren's claws started piercing my skin.
Ren quickly pulled away and shook slightly. "Oh god.. I-IM SORRY! I-I DIDN'T MEAN—
I opened the door and glared at him. "IM NOT BUYING IT ANYMORE, REN! IM SO SICK OF YOU!"
If you walk out now, you're going to regret it… My conscious told me. I ignored it and started walking away, looking down as tears streamed down my face. I heard Ren crying his eyes out behind me.
3 Days Later…I was sitting in a back alley, making sure I was under a roof of some kind to shield myself from the blistering cold snow. I brought my knees to my chest and cried softly. "W-why did I have to leave him like that?" I sobbed softly. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stared out into the foggy, snowy darkness. "I-I'm so sorry, Ren…" I said softly. I looked up at the streetlight, the only place that provided warmth for me. I bit my lip and shivered. The hypothermia started setting in, my vision was fading fast and I tried to keep myself warm. I breathed into my hands and rubbed them together. I coughed violently and panted heavily, trying to maintain consciousness. I looked down and closed my eyes. "S-So…t-this must be h-how it ends…" Tears slid down and I fells sideways into the freezing cold. I felt myself drift from consciousness.
Hours Later…As I revived from my unconscious state, I felt warmth surrounding me. As if a blanket was wrapped around me. I felt something gently petting my head. I groaned softly and slowly opened my eyes, my vision blurry.
Ren was right next to me, gently petting my head and staring at me with concerned eyes.
"R-Ren…?" I tried to make out the blurred figure.
"Shh… its ok, Stimpy…you're gonna be ok." He said with total care in his voice. "You just relax, I'm here for you…"
I stared at him and tears filled my eyes. "I-I'm sorry, R-Ren…" I said softly, trying to hold back cries.
Ren put his arms around me, wrapping me in a warm, comforting hug. "It's ok, Stimpy...I'm the one who should be sorry…" Ren gently rubbed my back and tightened his grip.
I hugged him back tightly, not letting him go. This is what I've been waiting for…this moment… I want to seize it and never let it go…
