Chapter 8

Dr. Gregory House dismounted from his motorcycle and headed toward the main entrance of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. He entered through the lobby for the same reason he had driven up on his bike. He was not intent on hiding. He had left here in bad shape and had damaged himself as well as the people he cared for most. He would be damned if he would slink back through a side door, he could care less, what most of these people thought, but he had to care about the thoughts of the people who had the power to banish him.

It was a different feeling for him, for not even when he had been threatened by Volger and then Tritter, had he felt his life so hanging in the balance. Why? Why now? Was it because now he felt he had something to lose? He and Cuddy had only been together for a week, but there was such promise. Unbelievable, he thought his mouth twisting ironically. Even though words like promise and hope were not a part of his vocabulary, they now whispered seductively to him. House walked confidently into the lobby, helmet in hand and boldly met the speculative gaze of Nurse Helen. He barely limped and only carried the cane out of habit. The physical therapy, acupuncture and new pain meds were working well, but he knew he would only get out of it what he put in it. He only needed the cane when he had a long distance to cover. House, stared back and her gaze dropped when he asked for his mail. She told him Dr. Cuddy was holding his mail and House gave a non-committal nod turning on his heel and going towards Cuddy's office.

That morning she had left while he was still in the shower and he could not help but feel a bit abandoned. He had a feeling that before they met at work, she needed to distance herself to transform into Dr. Cuddy, Dean of Medicine and the House-tamer. He could not find any blame for her in that, he must be such a trial. Suddenly he could not help a small smile at the knowledge, that she could hold on for so long and give so much at the prospect of so little return. She was like a flowering Cactus in the dessert, blooming and sustaining it's life against all odds. His smile was not one of triumph, but one of relief to know that it would take a lot to make her give up on him, even if he was not worthy. And even if he mustered the energy to try beyond his natural bent, it would be a puny effort in return for what flowed so naturally from her to him and to Rachel. His brilliance may have drawn her in just like hers along with stunning looks had first drawn his eyes so many years ago, but they were so many years and so many levels beyond that even now. Her profile was like the notches on a key that had the potential to unlock him, not just his heart but his soul.

His mind was an unceasing, seeking cauldron, of toil, always lit, burning itself up if not out, it was strange that the same person who could so challenge him and knew so perfectly how to scratch the itchy spots inside his head, was the same person that could soothe him to a quietness, so he became more than a quivering avaricious brain, but a mind, body and soul as well. She could make him restless with ardor and puzzling and then give him rest in the sweet waters of her desire, and affection. She was in fact his answer, under his nose for so long while he searched in vain, curing others and never himself. Perhaps it was the hell hole that was Mayfield and the absence from her, which had given him the clarity of vision to see it, and step to her finally.

She had left coffee for him and half a bagel with the marks of her small keen teeth on one edge, still warm from the toaster, but he dreamed it was from her mouth and so ate every morsel licking his fingers hungrily for traces of cream. As he headed toward the door, he saw the nanny standing there holding Rachel as she did every morning for Cuddy's kiss as she ran from the house. This morning she had left before Rachel was fully awake. As he approached the door, Rachel made a ,spastic jumping movement reaching for him, smiling, squealing and drooling in delight.

"God, we must really have your Mommy teach you about playing hard to get,", he said eyeing her dubiously before offering a hand instead of his cheek. "Oh, I forgot, she doesn't do that too well herself these days." he was basically murmuring under his breath, but he could tell by the Nanny's vain attempts to control her laughter, that she had heard much of what he said. He was developing a reluctant affection for Rachel, but he was by no means willing to play Daddy or substitute Mommy for that matter. As he disengaged his hand and continued toward the door, he made the mistake of looking back, bright blue cerulean, met dark shining sapphire and he was given pause at the intelligence that stared out at him and stabbed him, paralyzing him for a moment. She actually looked as if she felt she had been slighted, her mouth had crimped around the edges, until she realized she had regained his attention. The pouting lip, she had definitely learned from Cuddy he realized with a flip of his heart.

"Mmmow, Mouthse." she squealed urgently and he stared in amazement, and the nanny gurgled with laughter. Your name is like her third word, after ma ma and bye bye," the nanny insisted.

"That's what you get for listening to adult conversations, kid." As funny as it was, he didn't think he would like Mouse as a nick.

"Can you say Doc?" House asked gently, letting her reach for his chin and the fascinating tactile sensation of his scruffy beard.

"Daah, Doc." Rachel repeated obediently.

"Doc," he insisted, wondering if it sounded too much like Da, with out the hard "C"on the end. She seemed happy with her acquisition of new vocabulary and jumped excitedly in the nanny's arms again squealing it repeatedly and grinning so much he saw the white spec in the middle of her bottom gum.

"Is that a tooth?" he asked curiously.

"Yes it is. Our girl is very advanced, she crawled early and she can stand now almost without support. I think she will walk soon, definitely before she is one year." said the Nanny bringing the baby closer, and that was all it took, she launched herself at House like a limpet and gave him the wettest soggiest kiss imaginable. House wiped his face, trying not to smile as he made it finally out the door, for what she lacked of her mother's technique, she more than made up for in enthusiasm. And in that moment he knew his heart had a target on it and this very small girl was a skillful archer as the arrows had hit very near the bulls eye today.

He found himself at Cuddy's office door and without hesitation, he knocked, briefly, before opening the door and striding in.

"Please have a seat Dr. House." Cuddy said with the utmost formality and even knowing this probably was how it would be, he was taken aback by the ultra formality and felt chilled, until he noticed another party in the room. "Have you met, Dennis, Warwick from personnel?" she continued, as the man stood up to shake his hand.

Why the hell was he here? She hadn't needed to do this. House thought, grumpily. He had come in with the best of intentions but now he was just plain irritated. It was bad enough that he had to go through this with out having a third party here. Why was Cuddy protecting herself to this extent, the board members didn't have a spy cam in her office. They could have had a professional talk without him.

He barely focused as he heard Cuddy explaining that he was on probation and had been relieved of his duties as head of Diagnostics, after his license was restored by the new Jersey Medical board, his full reinstatement as head of Diagnostics would have to be approved by the PPTH board. His new duties would be lecturing third and fourth year students in Diagnostics and he would also be available as a non-practicing consultant to the Diagnostics team. He would have be back in his own office and sit in on DDX, but would have no supervisory duties.

House signed several papers, and Cuddy asked him if he had any questions.

"Yes, but I prefer to have a talk without personnel present if you don't mind." House said caustically.

Cuddy blinked, but thanked the man sitting in the second chair in front of her desk before telling him he could go.

House waited until the door closed behind the man and turned to look back at Cuddy his eyes narrowing.

"Was that really necessary? Why didn't you just have some security up in here too. How much protection do you need to protect you against the crazy doc, never mind the fact that he's been sharing y..," House bit off his words at Cuddy's horrified expression. He shook his head, wanting to apologize. He was about to screw things up royally. What was wrong with him?

"House, what is wrong with you?" She said firmly and coldly. "That's the reason I had Mr. Warwick here. I wanted to keep things professional. I thought it would be easier with someone else here. Easier for both of us."

"You said you were going to treat me like any other employee while we are at work. So why don't you do that. I didn't have to sign those papers until after our talk. I have hired enough over the years to know how things work here, Cuddy."

"Look House, this can be hard, or it could be a little easier. It's up to you." She said firmly in her Dean of Medicine voice, looking him directly in the eye. "Now do you have any questions about your assignments. You have an Instructor and a TA for your lecture and your Advanced Diagnostics Practicum."

"Okay, I admit I was a bit too angry to listen. How many classes am I teaching and what's this Advanced Diagnostic Practicum about?"

"I think you will like this House, it's five of the most advanced highest ranking third and fourth year students that have an interest and have some how shown a gift for diagnostics." They'll be able to shadow, diagnostics, they will be able to see the live DDX on a monitor set up in the conference room across from your office and give their suggestions. You'll also get to pick a student out of you lecture to join in if you find someone you think should be there."

" Sort of like Jr. fellows? Sounds annoying to the team doing the real DDX. I think it's fine as long as they can't interrupt the real DDX."

"We'll work something out. Perhaps they'll just be able to send text suggestions, like a text to a laptop computer. We have most of the equipment set up and the class has met for few lectures already but no labs. We'll have a trial run today as Diagnostics does have a patient. I'll bring the file up. Welcome back House." She shook his hand and smiled. "I hope everything goes smoothly today. We need you here." Cuddy was trying her best to ride the line between being supportive and personal.

"Don't tie yourself up in knots unless you think the board may have bugged your office. Oh, by the way your daughter smooched me today." He said wanting to throw her off balance and knowing she would not be able to resist talking about her child.

"What?, Cuddy looked shocked and then gave an involuntary smile at the thought of House even allowing it. "You got my goodbye kiss."

"I could give it back, if you like." his voice a little husky. "The Cuddy women are just susceptible to my charms I guess," he quipped, walking toward the door of her office. "So are you coming up?" he asked turning toward the door.

"I'll be right up in a minute. Why don't you introduce yourself to your Advanced Diagnostic students and settle back in to your office. Foreman was using it briefly, but he's now across the hall. Oh, here's your mail. I had my assistant weed through most of it, some of it pertained to the Diagnostic department that's been filed in the knew cabinet in the your conference room. Anything that was professionally yours alone I had her file by category and date in this file. She said handing him an accordion file full of correspondence. Mostly they are requests for you to speak at a conferences and take part in a mentor programs."

"You mean it's trash." he replied., looking as if he was going to heave it toward her trash can. Her warning look made him think better of it. "So who's conference room is it mine or Foreman's."

"It's the Diagnostics conference room. Foreman is the acting head of Diagnostics right now House, but you still have your position, when you prove you are ready for it. Please don't get in a pissing contest with Foreman. It will not earn you points with me or the board. Make no mistake about it House, getting your license back from New Jersey is going to be a cake walk compared to convincing the hospital to allow you to practice medicine here again."

"I still have tenure". He said on an exhaled breath, "you'd still need the whole board to get rid of me."

"You are right House, they can't fire you, but they can certainly sideline you. You don't seem to be happy with the thought of lecturing and consulting for a couple months, so indefinitely would certainly grate. There's something else you should know. Dr. Hadley is off the diagnostics team, at least temporarily. In the mean time she will be the assistant professor for your diagnostics lecture and run the labs."

"What the hell happened? Ah, she had to accept lover boy as her supervisor," he nodded.

Cuddy briefly wondered if that was a dig at her and then dismissed it as her being too sensitive.

"She reports directly to me as well, since you've been stripped of supervisory duties, but I thought you would prefer to work with someone you know. You've proven a lot to me in a week House," and her face softened briefly. "So I really want to believe you can keep your nose clean for a couple months so you can get back to doing what you love."

"Even a couple of months, is beginning to seem like a really long time." he admitted honestly. He did not want to let her down. Hell, he didn't want to let himself down, but already he was feeling like he had on a straight jacket made from hair shirt material. He had barely been here for an hour. It did not bode well. Her tone soothed him momentarily as he walked to the door. He paused at the door turning he gave her a last lingering look, knowing it would probably be the last personal moment they shared for the rest of the day.
He arrived in his office, and could not help smiling as he walked to his desk and picked up the gray and red ball. Everything was just as he had left it. His lamps, his chair, the elbow lamp, on his desk even seemed to be crooked at the same angle. Trust Foreman to leave no trace. The thought was father to the man as he saw Foreman walk into the conference room, start to take off his jacket and then register that House was in his office. Foreman walked over and stood at the door and awkwardly, then stuck out his hand.

"Welcome back, House." Cuddy told me you'd be in today."

"It's good to be back. House said wryly. "At least one of us is telling the truth."

"It's not a lie, House, If you've been away getting off the pills and getting your head straight. It will be better for all of us." Foreman, said trying to cover his concern with skepticism.

"Not better for you, you finally got to be leader of the pack for more than five minutes. I've heard you've done well. I would expect nothing less. It's got to be hard to think you could soon be back in the same spot."

"Look House, with all due respect. I report to Cuddy, I haven't to you, in a few years now, so don't count your chickens..."

"With all due respect, thanks for minding the shop. You may be the man the hour, here in diagnostics, but you can never be the man of the House." Only one person can fill my shoes, others can only go buy similar ones in a smaller size."

"Well, the Dean of Medicine may have discovered that smaller size shoes can run just as fast without the big dramatic footprint. So we'll have to see how it shakes out. I think we both got some things we needed over the last few months so no matter what happens I don't think things will ever be the same again."

"You are right about that, since you got rid of a member of my team while I was gone"

"House, you don't have a team. Some people thought you were too closed off House, I'm not one of them. I think we both prefer action. Save the talk therapy for those who appreciate it. Okay."

"You know what your problem is Foreman, you've been Cuddy's snitch for too long. You are so afraid of being the risk taking crazy that I am, that you can't even follow your gut anymore. You end up being in the middle ground that makes you no good too anyone."

"Neither Cuddy nor the board have any complaints, can you say the same?"

" What about 13 and Taub? You think after playing slap and tickle with 13 for months you can turn around and put your foot down as her boss and she's going to appreciate that."

"I guess you would empathize with Remy, since you are sort of in the same position, aren't you?". Foreman asked, throwing down the gauntlet of the speculation running rampant in the hospital.

"We're not discussing my personal life, we're discussing you as it pertains to a patient you let die while you were distracted with 13. If you want to know about our boss' sex life. Why don't you ask her? Or would you prefer that I tell her you're interested in playing reindeer games."

"Why do your eyes look green all of a sudden." Foreman said with a laugh.

"Look House, the patient had Cirrhosis, even when we fixed everything else, we couldn't get him a liver transplant. We couldn't play "shrink the liver" again, that's a one-shot game. 13 was being insubordinate, but she is your problem now, since she is an instructor under you for the next three months. Cam and Chase are back helping me with DDX. They should be here any minute."

At that moment Taub, came into the conference room. And was quickly followed by Cam and Chase.

House was congratulating them on their wedding when Cuddy appeared with the file. Cameron hadn't had a chance to say anything, but she was looking at him as if she would try to find out how he was a the earliest opportunity.

"Thirty year old female, seizure, loss of consciousness, dypsnea, altered mental status, no history of any chronic disease blood work looks normal EEG, shows the results of the seizure, but nothing unusual."

"Cuddy please don't feel like you have to go across the hall and watch with the students, I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunity to spy at another time." he quipped. Cuddy gave him a quelling look as she handed the file to Foreman and walked toward the door. "I'm trusting you all to be able to share the sandbox."

"If that's a sort of euphemism for playing well with others, haven't we always. I even brought toys, I still have my balls." he said tossing up the gray and red ball."

Cuddy shook her head and exited as House turned back to the team.

"Seems like old times." House said sitting down at the table. "Except for Taub that is. What is he, the mascot?" But that was not the only thing that was out of sync, he thought as Foreman walked over to his white board and started the DDX