Broken Arrows Chapter 8 – Distance
A/N: Hello, once again I want to thank the amazing support for this story. You guys always take my breath away. I hope I will be able to fulfill and maybe even surpass all of your expectations. :D
Just a reminder, I am not a doctor and this is pure fiction. I wish I had the medical knowledge to write all the medical parts of this story with precision, but all I had were facts that I got from an Internet research. So I hope I don't make any big mistakes.
Let's send our love * and virtual cookies* for my girl, my partner, TheAlternativeSource. Follow her on Twitter! - TheAltSource
As always, the link for the Polyvore sets are on my profile page.
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Music – Distance by Christina Perri
This one if for Baby Vic and his mommy!
Welcome to the Olicity family!
Auntie PoisonAngelMuse
And please don't stand so close to me
I'm having trouble breathing
I'm afraid of what you'll see right now
I give you everything I am
All my broken heart beats
Until I know you understand
And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" and you're not listening
How long can we keep this up, up, up?
And I keep waiting
For you to take me
You keep waiting
To say what we haveSo I make sure to keep my distance
Say "I love you" and you're not listening
How long can we keep this up, up, up?
The fast beat of the music and the heavy excitement that permeated through the air of the club was becoming a little too overwhelming for Felicity. She stood against the railing of the VIP lounge, watching as the mass of bodies moved together in a perfect, hypnotic dance. The smell of perfume and sweat was filling the place and for a minute she felt like she couldn't breathe. She looked for her friends on the dance floor, finding Nyssa and Sara slowly moving their bodies against one another in slow and intimate movements. Felicity averted her eyes. Even in the middle of a crowded dance floor she felt like she was interrupting an intimate moment between her two best friends. She was about to turn back and walk to the bar to grab another drink when suddenly the DJ stopped the music and everybody turned towards the front entrance of Verdant.
And there he was…Oliver, looking perfect as ever. His shoulders seemed wider than she remembered, his hair shorter and his perfect squared jaw covered in a surprisingly attractive layer of stubble. He also looked amazing in his navy blue suit. He stood by Tommy, his posture tense and his smile fake. He looked like he'd rather be anywhere else but here.
As Tommy did a short speech and proposed a drink to Oliver, she could see how his strong jaw was clenched tight and how uncomfortable he looked. He soon moved to say a few words of his own, but it felt empty, lacking the energy and passion that he always carried with him. His short words seemed rehearsed; like he was expecting people to want to hear them. It was odd. Like he wasn't himself. Like he was somebody else.
The crowd cheered and more drinks were shared. She stood in the shadows, watching as he moved from one guest to the next, with empty eyes and a forced smile on his lips. He talked and even laughed one or two times, but the only moment that Felicity could see honesty in Oliver's eyes was when he was around the small group of his friends – Tommy, Laurel, his sister Thea and her boyfriend. It was the only moment he looked free.
Feeling her hands tremble and her heart quicken at the sight of all this, she quickly ordered another drink and moved to the other side of the lounge room to watch him as he moved through the endless mass of people. As the beat speed up, people moved quicker to the music and once again the club reeked of too many people having a good time together; grinding, pressing and moving against each other. And in the middle of all this she lost sight of Oliver.
She kept looking for him, her eyes scanning the crowd. But as the minutes passed with no sight of him in the dark club that seemed to get even more crowded as the seconds ticked by, she realized that it was impossible. She wouldn't be able to find him. Feeling defeated, she pushed her hands against the railing and closed her eyes, trying to calm down. This was not how things were supposed to happen. She stood there for a long time, frozen, trying to calm down. Trying to not get overwhelmed by her own despair at not having the reunion she hoped with Oliver.
Felicity felt her body tense all of a sudden; the small hairs on the back of her neck seemed to come to a stand. She felt like she was being watched. But it was ridiculous. She had been alone in the lounge for the past two hours; no one had been up there besides the waiters and the bartender. Tommy had made sure that the VIP area would stay off limits to the other guests.
She stood unmoving, holding onto the metal railing for dear life, trying to control the explosion of fear and doubt that washed over her. She continued to watch the crowd, trying to see if she was missing something. As she took a deep steadying breath in the middle of her despair she recognized the familiar scent of leather and ocean breeze in the air. Closed her eyes she enjoyed the familiar scent and let it wash over her; a small smile appearing on her pink lips. She knew 'it'. In fact she would never forget his scent, not in a hundred years.
Slowly she turned her upper body, her hands still gripping onto the rail as she faced Oliver Queen for the first time in five years.
Her breath caught in her throat. He looked the same and yet different up close. He looked rougher, different from the young man that she fell in love with five years ago. He looked like he had lived and died a thousand deaths; weathered storms of hardship. He had small wrinkles forming in the corners of his eyes and his deep blue eyes shined with a different light. He was more tanned as well, like he had spent hours in the shining sun, and a few freckles adorned his beautiful face. He had changed. But yet, so had she.
However the most surprising fact about the man standing in front of her was that he still looked at her the same way he had all those years ago – like she was the most precious thing. His eyes moved from the top of her head, down to her toes, like he was trying to memorize every inch of her body. Like he was trying to decide if she was real or a fragment of his imagination. She felt a warmth overcome her at it.
And then he smiled. His smile was the most beautiful sight she had seen in the past five years. His smile was all Oliver – warm, tender and loving – it was his real smile, the smile of the man she loved. The smile she had seen countless times in the year they spent together. This was the real him.
"Hi," Oliver finally said in a rough yet penetrating tone, a small smile on his lips, his blue eyes firmly fixed on hers. His hands were tucked into his navy dress pant pockets. He looked anxious.
"Oliver," she said, her voice unsteady. The only thing that was keeping her up on her feet was the railing. This was finally happening. He was really here. It wasn't another dream.
"You seemed like you could use some company," he said smiling, moving a step closer to her, his eyes soft and his voice tender.
"I can't believe you're here," Felicity said with a quaking voice. It was him…it was really him. She tried to remember this was neither an illusion nor a dream. This was real life. He was her 'own' miracle.
"You almost sound like you missed me," he asked, teasing her like it had been yesterday and not five years since they had last seen each other. Like she hadn't been through hell and back since the day he went missing.
"It's been five years… I… I never thought I would see you again," she said, feeling her chest tighten as she tried to hold on, a small tear falling down her pale face. It was him. It was finally over. Oliver…he was finally back home.
He slowly approached her, like he was scared if he approached her too fast she would shut off and run. He looked slightly confused, like he couldn't fully comprehend the reason to why she was feeling so emotional. Like she hadn't felt like she had died along with him on that boat. Like he didn't believe that she had really missed him that much.
His eyes focused in on her face. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as she nervously bit her lower lip, waiting for what he would do next.
"I'm here now," he reassured her as he slowly cupped her cheek, softly moving his thumb over to wipe the trail of the tear away. She turned her face into his touch, taking soft deep breaths as her eyes closed at his touch. His hands were rougher, different from before and yet his touch was soft. Gentle and warm. She had missed him so much.
"Oliver," she whispered, her eyes closed and her pink lips parted. She couldn't hold back anymore, it was too much. She needed him like she needed oxygen to breathe. She had lived too long without his touch, without his scent, without him. She wouldn't survive losing him all over again.
Time seemed to stand still as she enjoyed the warmth of his calloused hand. He moved slowly, bringing his other hand to her face, caressing the skin of her cheek with his fingertips. Gently he pulled her face towards his, and pressed his lips to let go a happy sigh as her hands moved around to his suit clad back, holding for dear life, afraid that he would disappear again if she let him go.
The kiss was soft and gentle. In fact, he kissed her with the same tenderness of their first kiss. She felt the air leaving her lungs and butterflies moving down into her stomach. It was perfect. He was perfect.
Their bodies molded themselves perfectly together, her arms moving around his neck whilst his moved to her waist. Their mouths parted and their tongues danced together. The kiss was intense and had the same magic feeling that she had felt five years ago. She still loved him with all her heart and soul, and she was sure that he felt the same. The way their bodies instantly connected told her so. It was like they had never parted.
His fingers danced against the naked skin of her back, caressing the hot skin there, making her moan his name against his lips. "Oliver,"she whimpered as she moved her hands inside his jacket, her fingers digging into his back. She needed him so much.
He pushed her body against the railing, pressing their hips and chest closer together, as one of his hands moved towards her soft golden locks. He held onto curls, deepening the kiss until they almost couldn't tell where he began and where she ended.
It felt like coming back home.
Felicity could feel her body trembling, pulsing with each caress of Oliver's tongue against hers, with every move of his hands against her heated body. He was driving her mad with passion and caresses from the past. God she had missed this – this connection, the longing, the perfectness of it all.
When the need for air became overwhelming, they moved their bodies inches apart; both trying to catch their collective breathes. One of his hands held her against his body and the other caressed her face. She could feel that her skin was flushed, her lips swollen and her eyes shining. Her hair was messy for sure and she was out of breath. And yet she had never felt happier. Oliver was back and that was all that mattered. It all would be ok.
He smiled at her, bright and gorgeous, his eyes filled with that light that she always loved in him.
"Why do I feel like I've known you all my life? That I have been waiting for this moment? Who are you?"he asked with a smile, totally smitten by the gorgeous blonde.
"What?" she whispered, her body tensing against his as his words seemed to penetrate the lusty and happy fog they were in. He had asked her for her name. He…didn't know who she was? Why would he ask that? Was he trying to be cruel? Or was he playing with her feelings? She didn't understand.
"What's your name?" he asked her softly, watching as her smile seemed to fade away and her face closed off as if in pain. And then she really looked at him. She took in his curious and happy eyes. There was something different about them now that almost explained why he had been odd on the dance floor tonight. And then it hit her. Suddenly it felt like she couldn't breathe. Like a knife had been twisted in her heart and soul; ripping open what was left of her. This was not supposed to happen. This was not what she had been dreaming of happening when she finally reunited with Oliver.
No.
"I…I've got to go," Felicity said in a quivering voice as she pushed his body away from hers. Her body was shaking and she felt her stomach rolling in horror. This was not happening. It couldn't be happening. She needed to go. She needed to leave.
She pushed past Oliver and bolted. She ran down the metal staircase that led to the crowded dance floor. Almost tripping twice in her high heels, she pushed her body between the mass of people, trying to escape this nightmare.
A sob left her mouth as a large man pushed her body away from him and his companion, making her slow down and try to somewhat calmly move through the packed dance floor. There was a need to panic at the moment but she couldn't afford it if she wanted to get out. She tried to control her body and her tears, but the more she tried the harder she failed. Finally she was able to reach one of the emergency exits of Verdant. She pushed the door open and before she could stop herself her stomach was twisting and a revolting taste filled her mouth. Pressing her hands against her knees she hurled in the empty alley.
"Lis!" she heard Sara cry out as the exit door slammed open and closed behind her, the heavy electronic music blasting in the quiet alley. "Oh my God! Are you ok?" her best friend asked her, holding her as Felicity finished emptying her stomach.
"Felicity?" Nyssa asked her, her voice filled with deep worry. She had followed Sara as soon as they saw her practically bolting through the dance floor.
"I want to go home," Felicity said between a pained sob and a groan, "Please, take me back home…I can't stay here."
"Lis? Please, tell us what happened to you, so we can help you!" Sara pleaded, still holding Felicity as she used the back of her hand to clean her mouth.
"He doesn't remember me," she said, her eyes closed as the tears fell. "He has no idea who I am. God. He doesn't even remember my name Sara. My name!" Felicity sobbed, as Sara held her.
"Who doesn't remember you?" Nyssa asked softly, as she moved towards her, running her hand down Felicity's back, trying to calm her down.
In a weak voice Felicity answered, "Oliver."
"Oliver?" Sara asked in confusion as she helped Felicity get back on her feet.
"Please, just take me home… I … I need to go home," Felicity begged, her eyes filling with tears, her make up smudged.
"Ok, we'll take you home," Nyssa said as she and Sara exchanged worried glances, "I'll grab our coats and clutches. You want me to come get you guys or should we meet up front? "
Sara took one look at Felicity's trembling body before tucking her close, "Let's meet up front. I'm sure there are cabs already waiting."
"I…I think I left my clutch on the floor of the lounge… I don't know... it has my home keys… and my phone. I can't go without it, I need it," Felicity rambled as she held a hand to her head.
"Ok, Lis I will go look for it. You stay with Sara. You can even wait inside a cab if you like, ok?" Nyssa said calmly, trying to reassure her friend.
"Ok. Thank you," Felicity said, her eyes unfocused and her posture defeated.
With a nod to Sara and Felicity, Nyssa left them. She moved back inside of the busy club to grab their things and let Tommy know that they were going back home early.
Back outside, Sara helped Felicity move out of the alley and around the back door of Verdant. Their high heels echoed in the space as the cold night surrounded them, making Felicity's body shiver even harder than before.
With a caring hand, Sara led Felicity around Verdant. She found an empty cab and opened the door so Felicity could slide inside. As Sara talked to the driver and they waited for Nyssa, Felicity couldn't stop the silent tears falling down her face. What had happened? Why didn't he remember her? How could he kiss her like that, make her feel all those emotions, and just play with her heart like that? Did she mean nothing to him at all?
Leaning forward she cradled her head in her hands as Sara kept a silent vigil, hand rubbing calming circles on her back. Her head was pounding and she was beyond confused.
A few minutes later, Nyssa walked out of the club dressed in her black coat and holding Sara's and Felicity's coats, along with their clutches in her hands. She jumped into the cab and then they were driving towards Felicity's apartment.
Felicity could barely remember the drive from the club to her home, neither her walking up the stairs, or the hot shower that she took after coming back home. As she dressed herself in an extremely large MIT sweatshirt and sleep shorts, she could barely recognize her own reflection in the mirror. Her perfectly curled hair from hours before was messy and slightly wet from her shower, small smudges of makeup still stained her lips and her eyes and nose were red and angry looking. She looked broken.
"Lis? Are you ok there?" Sara asked from the other side of her closed bedroom door.
"Yeah," Felicity replied, walking towards her bed and pushing the blankets to the side. Getting in, she curled up under the blankets; trying to use them as a safety blanket against everything she was feeling.
"We're going to come in now, ok?" Sara said as she softly pushed the door open, her eyes filling with worry as she caught sight of her best friend looking broken in her bed. "I brought you some tea," she said as she walked over towards her bed, her high heels long forgotten as she walked barefoot on the cold hardwood floors.
"Thank you," Felicity said, her voice as empty as her eyes. She took the cup and took a small sip, more to calm Sara down than anything else. She felt like she needed to close herself off, hide the pain and horror of what happened. Because if not she wasn't sure what would happen.
"Do you want something to eat? I can make a mean sandwich," Nyssa said from her spot next to the doorframe, trying to lighten the heavy mood.
"I'm not hungry," Felicity said, her eyes far away.
Sara looked over at Nyssa in concern before turning to Felicity on the bed. She needed to find out what had happened to make her friend look so destroyed, "Lis, what happened to you? You were so excited when we got to the club."
"Did Oliver Queen hurt you? I swear I will kill him if he touched you in any way you didn't want him to. He may be rich and Starling City's favorite resident, but I will ruin him," Nyssa promised through clenched teeth, fearing what may have happened between Oliver and Felicity.
"It wasn't like that. He would never hurt me, at least not physically," Felicity whispered, as new tears fell down her face.
"What do you mean, Lis?" Sara asked, moving to sit next to her on the bed's edge.
"You said he didn't remember you. What did you mean by that? Did you know Oliver Queen from before his accident?" Nyssa inquired, her mind already trying to solve this problem.
"I knew him…I just don't know him anymore…my Oliver wouldn't do this to me. He wouldn't," Felicity whimpered.
"Your Oliver?" Sara asked with caution.
Felicity pulled up the platinum chain from her neck, her engagement ring hanging on it. Taking it into her trembling hands she caressed the ring. "My Oliver," she whispered between sobs.
"Oh my God," Nyssa said, finally understanding everything. How Felicity never talked about her past besides her job and her parents, how she never talked about her lost fiancée that had tragically died in a accident, or why she never had showed them pictures of him. Why she would never date anyone and why she tried to keep casual relationships. Why she had freaked out when Tommy had told them that Oliver was alive. Why she had spent the following days, crying and desperate, locked in her apartment. She now understood why Felicity had accepted the invitation to go to Oliver's bash.
Catching Sara's eyes, she knew that she had reached the same conclusion. Felicity had been engaged to Oliver Queen five years ago…and she had loved him deeply…she still loved him. She had mourned his loss in silence for five years. And now that he was back…he wasn't the same man that she used to know.
"He's the love of my life…but he doesn't remember me! Why doesn't he remember me?" Felicity sobbed as Sara moved to hug her. Nyssa came over and sat with them as Felicity held tightly to her best friend and poured her heart out.
Oliver stood frozen for a second – too astonished to actually fully comprehend what the hell had happened. Who was she? Why did he feel like he knew her all his life? Why had he felt so much for her? She was a complete stranger. Oh lord…could she be it? Could she be the one he had been desperately looking for? The woman of his dreams? His Arrow Girl?
He blinked, realizing that he was going to miss her if he didn't move now. He leaned further into the railing of the balcony, trying to find her, his eyes sweeping the crowd desperately. But he couldn't find her. Damn it he couldn't find her! She was gone.
Oliver turned and ran down the stairs as fast as he could, pushing his body into the middle of the crowd, trying to spot her golden hair in the dark crowd. He moved from one side to the other, his eyes scanning the place, but he couldn't find her anywhere. He was too late. She wasn't there anymore.
He let out a desperate groan, feeling like an idiot for letting her run like that, how could he let her disappear?
"Oliver!" Tommy shouted, moving towards his friend and taking in Oliver's pained expression, "Is everything ok?"
"No," Oliver said, shaking his head, his voice trembling as he looked around again.
"What happened?" Tommy asked worried.
"I lost someone and I can't find her!" Oliver said over the crowd as Tommy moved them to an empty corner next to the bar, so they could talk.
"What do you mean you lost someone?" Tommy asked, worried.
"I think I found her, Tommy," Oliver said with a small and yet, sad smile. He looked defeated.
"Her? As in your Arrow Girl?" Tommy asked him, shocked.
"Yes, I mean…I'm not sure. We didn't talk much," Oliver said, feeling like an idiot for not getting her name, "But I felt something…something that I've never felt before with a woman. She was different from anyone I've ever met. Special in a way that I can't even explain. It was like my body knew her even if my mind couldn't remember her."
Oliver couldn't help but think over the last couple of seconds with the mystery woman. What had he done to make her want to run like that? He knew she felt the same connection that he had – he could feel it in the way her body moved along with his; the desperation of their kiss, the way she had whispered his name. She had wanted him as much as he wanted her. But why did she run?
"Oh," Tommy said, a smile on his lips as he realized that Oliver and the mystery girl probably had more of a heated encounter, "But wait…if you think it's her, how could you have lost her? It makes no sense!"
Oliver threw his hands up in frustration, "I don't know. One second we were in this amazing moment. I felt things that I've never felt before…and then I said something and she froze…before I could stop her she was running away. And I lost her in the crowd."
"Ok, I'm sure we can find her. The club isn't that big. So what does she look like?" Tommy asked, trying to help.
"She was blonde with long curly hair. She had a light pink dress, I think," Oliver said, his eyes once more looking over the crowd.
"Oliver, you just described half of the women that are here tonight," Tommy said in frustration as his eyes moved from one blonde to the other, "I did invite all the blondes that I knew. I thought one of them might be your girl."
"God, Tommy! I can't believe I lost her! I'm never going to find her again!" Oliver shouted angrily as he slouched back on the wall, his head down and his body tense.
Tommy put a hand on Oliver's shoulder, "You need to calm down. We're going to find her! I promise you. Did you at least get her name?"
"I… I don't know her name. When I asked her for her name she freaked out," Oliver said at a loss. She wasn't there. And in this sea of blondes he wouldn't be able to find her. And the way that she bolted…she was long gone.
Oliver could barely sleep for the next two days. He spent all his free time trying to remember every small detail about his encounter with the mysterious blonde woman. He tried to replay it in his head, hoping to find any clue that may reveal her identity but he couldn't find anything. She was just another mystery in his life. So when Tommy called him asking him to meet him at Verdant, Oliver was skeptical to the reason why, after all he had lost all hope in ever finding the mysterious blonde. Yet he found himself outside the empty and closed Verdant around lunchtime on a Monday.
Tommy was waiting for him at the front entrance of the club, wearing his business suit, as he probably had just left Merlyn Global to meet him here.
"Ollie, glad you came," Tommy said with a smile.
"Tommy, is there a reason that you would choose to lose your lunch hour to ask me to come met you here?" Oliver asked, not sure what they were doing there. Verdant was the last place Oliver wanted to be.
"Well I have been thinking about how we can track your Arrow Girl. I mean, if the girl that you hooked up with here on Friday is her. But that's not the point; you can hook up with who ever you want to. No pressure," Tommy rambled as they stood there.
"Tommy, you are stalling," Oliver said, crossing his arms over his chest.
Tommy gave Oliver a look before sighing and giving in, "Ok, ok. Well if you show me where you and the girl hooked up then maybe we can go through some of the security footage that night. Then I can see if Joe – our bouncer – recognizes her. I mean, I can look for credit card receipts and all of that. We can then get a name and a phone number."
"Have you done something like this before? Because I've got to say that sounds a little to confident," Oliver said with a laugh. He really didn't want to invade the mystery blonde's privacy but he couldn't think of any other way to find her.
Tommy gave a shrug, "What can I say? Desperate times call for desperate measures."
"Fine, but only to get her name. I will find her on my own after that, deal?" Oliver said, feeling hopeful again.
"You're the boss," Tommy agreed, raising his hands up in surrender, "Now let's go find your girl."
They made their way inside Verdant and Tommy turned on all the lights. The club had a different vibe without the pulsing music and the flashing lights. It felt less claustrophobic to Oliver.
"So, where did you meet this woman, exactly?" Tommy asked, anxious to solve the mystery.
"Up there," Oliver said, pointing to the balcony.
"The VIP lounge? How did she get up there?" Tommy asked, slightly confused, "Only you, me, Laurel, Thea, Sara, Nyssa and Lis were supposed to have access to it."
"Who are those other people?" Oliver asked, confused.
"Sara is Laurel's younger sister. You actually know her from back in the day when you and Laurel dated. Nyssa is her longtime partner. Lis is one of their best friends, and one of mine as well. I thought I would get to introduce you to them, but things got crazy on Friday, and Lis wasn't feeling so good so she and the girls left early," Tommy explained.
"Oh," Oliver said, wondering how many people he actually considered his friends back in the day, and how many of those he would be able to relate to today.
"Anyway, I guess that your mystery girl probably moved up there when Joe had to leave to stop a fight on the dance floor. It was a nasty one with Max Fuller and some guy that had banged his ex-fiancé. I guess your girl is a groupie after all, to make her way around security and move up there to find you."
"I don't know about that. I mean…I was the one that found her. She was just standing there, looking kind of lost," Oliver said, remembering her leaning against the railing alone.
"Well, that's not good," Tommy said, scratching the back of his head, a guilty look in his eyes.
"Why? What are you talking about?" Oliver asked him, his posture tense.
"I kind of turned off the security cameras in the VIP room that day," Tommy confessed, his tone apologetic.
"What? Why?" Oliver questioned, shocked.
"I thought you might need the privacy. I was sure that your Arrow Girl would show up and you two would instantly reconnect – after five years apart and all of that – and the last thing we needed was a sex tape staring Oliver Queen. TMZ would pay a lot of money for that," Tommy answered, his face a little shocked as well. They could have found her for sure if the cameras were up in the VIP area.
"Fuck," Oliver ground out in frustration as he clenched his fists, "I'm never going to find her. It's over."
Tommy gave Oliver a consoling smile, "Relax man, I've still got some other security footage we can probably check, ok? If you still remember her and what she was wearing, we will probably find her."
They walked towards Tommy's office; it was off a side entrance on the far wall of the main floor. He typed a code into a panel next to the metal door to unlock it. When it beeped they walked down a metal staircase; Oliver followed him down. The office was actually a large basement with enough space that Tommy had practically turned the place into a small loft. It had an area with a large metal and glass desk, along with computers and what Oliver assumed were the monitors for the security footage. Along the walls were cabinets filled with books and files. On the other side, there were large dark leather couches, and even a small kitchen. There was also a door for what he assumed was a bathroom. And a small wooden screen divided a space for a small double bed.
"Do you live in this basement?" Oliver asked, looking around the room.
"No, no. I live in a condo with Laurel. But sometimes I end up crashing here when I need to work overtime on the clubs books and things like that. So why not be comfortable when I do it?" he said as he turned on the computers and typed the password in. The operating system loaded up and soon they were facing hours and hours of footage. Tommy typed the date and the hour that the party had started, but the room was too crowded and dark for them to be able to tell the difference between one person and the other.
"You have any idea what time your hot date was?" Tommy asked him with a smirk, as he moved the footage from one camera to the next, searching.
Oliver tried to rack his mind for a time, "I don't know. It was a little bit after midnight I think. It was not long after I moved towards the VIP lounge."
Tommy nodded and pulled up a chair for Oliver to sit in next to him, "Ok then. You said she ran down the stairs right? From what side, left or right stairs?"
Oliver sat down, "Left."
"Ok, and here we go," Tommy said, as he typed away and the image that they were looking for came to life. The camera was too far to see her face, but Oliver recognized the almost backless dress as she quickly entered the crowd.
"It's her," Oliver said in shock and excitement, pointing to the screen as Tommy froze the image.
"How can you tell? I can barely tell that she's blonde," Tommy said, trying to get a better angle or a better resolution of the image. But it was no use; there were no other angles that showed her face. All that he got was her back as she moved through the crowd with her head down until she moved to a corner that he knew would lead to one of the emergency exits of Verdant. Sadly, there were no cameras there – since it was a known place for people to move to when they wanted a little bit more privacy. He should have listened to Felicity and invested in more modern and precise security footage equipment.
Oliver stared at the frozen image of her exiting Verdant. It was her. He knew it deep inside, "I know it's her. Besides, her dress was pretty memorable."
"I would hope so, you've been going insane over this girl. She probably dressed to impress that night," Tommy said, as he fast-forwarded the video, but there were no sign of the girl coming back through the door. She probably had left the club through the side alley. He did recognize something odd though. Sara and Nyssa, as he remembered the red dress and the silver sequin one they were wearing, were moving towards the same exit as the mystery blonde. But he shrugged it off as maybe a need for them to need privacy. And the last thing he wanted was to invade his future sister-in-law's privacy as they made out outside, and so he tried to not focus on them, "I think she left the club after that. I'm sorry, Ollie."
"I can't believe that I lost her again. I was so close. So fucking close," Oliver said, closing his eyes in anger. He felt defeated, "She knew me Tommy. She knew me from before the accident. I think it's her."
Tommy tapped his fingers against the desk before responding with what most likely explained the quick departure, "Maybe she just got upset because you didn't remember her? And to top it off you didn't even have time to explain. It could even be that she probably just thought that you didn't remember her because she wasn't memorable enough or something? Point is…that I'm sure that if she is the Arrow Girl, you two will find your way to each other."
Oliver processed Tommy's words, "How do you know that? How can you be sure?"
Tommy turned to Oliver, "Because my friend that's how true love works. You get that one shot with the right person; that one person that fits you perfectly. A love like that is not easily forgotten. If you can't let go of her, even without your memories and five years later, I'm sure she can't either. A love like that doesn't just go away, it stays with us forever."
The next week was even more challenging as it brought even more changes to Oliver's life. After staying with him for three weeks, Slade finally returned back home to Australia to be with his family. The goodbye was harder than any of them expected, after all how could you part from a brother? There were no tears, but a strong brotherly hug, and promises from Oliver to go to Australia to visit as soon as the baby was born. Slade was sure that Alex would appreciate having his Uncle Jack only to himself. Oliver also finally paid his debt to Slade – even though the older man had said that it had already been paid after five years of hard work on the farm – Oliver felt like he owed Slade and Shado everything. So he asked his mom to write a big check to the Wilson family, which she did gladly as she also knew that she owed them everything; that there was no amount of money that they could actually give them to repay what they had done for the Queen family. Slade was a prideful man and so he had refused the money and only when Oliver mentioned that it was not about him, but for Shado, Alex and the new baby - that he could use the money to pay for the kid's college or farm expenses – that Slade finally accepted, promising to turn it into a trust fund for his children.
Thus Oliver found himself alone most of the time at the mansion – as Thea had her job as an interior designer, his mother dedicated most of her time to the endless charities she headlined and Walter was always at Queen Consolidated. This apparently gave him time to do something he was dreading: his first appointment with Dr. John Diggle.
And so Oliver Queen found himself in the waiting room of his psychiatrists office. The office was in one of the many skyscrapers of Starling City, all modern furniture and wide glass windows. He had come alone, something that did not please his mother, but he could not be honest with the good doctor if his mother was sitting on the other side of the wall, could he? No, he needed to do this on his own, in his own way.
"Mr. Queen? Dr. Diggle is ready for you now," a dark skinned woman with a wide smile said, halting Oliver's thoughts.
"Thank you," Oliver said, getting up from his seat as she walked him to a large white door, opening it for him to walk through.
"Good morning, Mr. Queen. I'm John Diggle," a tall and strong looking dark skinned man said, as he offered his right hand for Oliver to shake.
According to what Oliver had looked through, Dr. John Diggle was a 43-year-old psychiatrist. He had gone to Medical school at UCLA, seeking a degree in medicine and psychiatry at the same time. His inspiration for becoming a doctor stemmed from the fact that as his young brother Andrew had died after not receiving medical attention fast enough. Right after he graduated, he enlisted in the Army to work as a doctor. He had served two tours in Afghanistan, where he met his wife Lyla. After being discharged with honors, he and Lyla got married, and became the proud parents of a ten-year-old little girl, named Emma. After coming back to the U.S. he opened up his own practice that catered to helping soldiers and victims of violence recover from their traumatic experiences. And that was why Oliver Queen was here today; he had to work on his own traumatic experience.
"Oliver Queen," he introduced himself, shaking the hand of the doctor.
"Please, come in and sit," Dr. Diggle said as he walked towards a leather chair, with a small round table next to it, that sat in front of the large glass windows of the office. Right in front of it, sat a cream colored couch. John Diggle sat down in the chair, one leg crossed over the other, as his hands rested on his left thigh.
Oliver looked the place over, from the comfortable couch to the light green carpet, to a glass desk with a chair in a corner, to the small tissue box on a small table that sat right next to the couch. He moved to the couch, sitting in the middle and trying to keep his legs from bouncing and hoping to not show how anxious he actually was.
"So, how are you, Oliver?" Dr. Diggle asked, a small clipboard on his lap with a small pen attached to it.
"I'm ok, I guess," Oliver said with a shrug, not sure what to say.
"You seem anxious," Diggle stated.
Oliver wanted to say 'well duh' but smiled gently, "I'm just not used to talking about my life and private thoughts with a stranger. No offense there, Doc."
"None taken," Dr. Diggle said with a nod of his head, "I imagine it's not easy for you to adapt easily to your life in Starling City, considering your condition."
"It could be worse I guess. There were worse things that could have happened to me, rather than being Oliver Queen," Oliver said, a spark of laughter forming in the Doc's eyes at the comment.
"Being Oliver Queen?" Diggle quoted him, "Are you saying that you're not, Oliver Queen?"
"I…is this a trick question?" Oliver asked, raising an eyebrow.
Diggle shook his head, "There are no right or wrong answers here. And I know you're Oliver Queen. Just wondering if you consider yourself to be him?"
"I don't know what to say," Oliver said, placing his hands down on the couch.
Diggle made a note on his pad before replying, "Say what you really feel or want to say. Not what you think is expected for you to say. There will be no discrimination or judgment in here. As well there is strict patient/doctor confidentiality in here if you are worried about that sort of thing. I can't say, repeat or talk about anything that we discuss in here with anyone, unless you reveal that you plan to hurt someone. So this room is a safe space where you can express whatever you desire. This is a space and time for you to be honest. I'm only an observer and sometimes a guide, but you are the one that will lead this journey. And I hope that I will gain your trust so you will feel safe discussing your life with me."
"Ok," Oliver whispered, his body still tense. He understood what the Doc was trying to say but damn…sharing wasn't easy.
"So I will ask you again, are you saying you are not Oliver Queen?" Diggle asked, his voice calm and his facial expression serene.
"I guess that in a way I am. But at the same time I'm not, I'm still Jack Sawyer. And yet, I feel like I am none of those men," Oliver said, not looking at the psychiatrist, but rather to a small loose thread at the bottom of his dark sweater.
"Well, you suffered a major trauma five years ago. It's not only a physiological injury, but it was also a mental trauma. You suffered brain damage and dealt with its consequences in the only way that your mind could properly handle at the time even if it wasn't the best. Your case is what we called Retrograde amnesia, when you can't recall your memories before the traumatic event, that led to the memory loss. It's very rare," Diggle explained.
"Oh, I didn't know," Oliver said, absorbing the new information.
"Well it often occurs due to a traumatic situation, in line with brain trauma, that individuals wish to consciously or unconsciously avoid. People experiencing it have impaired episodic memory, instances of wandering and traveling, and acceptance of a new identity as a result of inaccessible memories pertaining to their previous identity. In your case, Jack Sawyer, the identity that you created and lived for the past five years."
"Are you saying that because I didn't want to remember, I didn't?" Oliver asked in shock. That couldn't be why. He wanted to remember everything, especially 'her'.
"I'm saying that there are many factors that perpetuated your amnesia. The brain trauma was one, as well the traumatic influence of the accident itself. You were badly injured and I suppose that you may have watched the death of your father. You had to swim in the middle of the ocean for miles until you found the shore," Diggle clarified as Oliver try to control what he was feeling inside; a storm of emotions flashing over his face.
Diggle continued, "So you found safety and peace in your life in Australia. Purpose even. Why would you want to run from that? So in a way, the content that you felt these past five years, unconsciously blocked most of your memories until some of them became too present and poignant for your mind to try to avoid them. That and the shrinking of the area that was swelled in your hippocampus. That's why all of those dreams and flashbacks started. The mind is a very complex machine, Oliver."
"So you think that I can recover my memories then?" Oliver asked, his hand moving to his pendant.
"Is that why you are here, Oliver? To know if you can remember who you were five years ago," John Diggle asked him with honesty in his voice, "Or is it to discover who you really are?"
Oliver honestly didn't know.
Felicity knocked on the large wooden door, anxiously looking down to her heeled peep toes, moving her weight from one leg to the other; waiting for someone to answer the door. She had been trying to do this for days, but she lacked the courage and to be truthful she was scared. But here she was, patiently waiting for someone to answer the door.
The door finally opened and a familiar pair of blue eyes came to view.
"Lis!" Tommy greeted with a smile.
"Hi Tommy. Can I come in?" Felicity asked him, as she played with the strap of her leather purse.
"Sure, sure. Perfect timing, by the way," Tommy said, opening his condo door for her to enter.
The condo that Tommy shared with Laurel was on the richer side of the town that was filled with luxury buildings and skyscrapers. It was close to both Merlyn Global and Queen Consolidated. The light wooden floors were a contrast against the dark counters of the kitchen and the dark wooden furniture. It was a perfect mixture of Laurel's more serious personality and Tommy's easygoing ways. It was extremely sophisticated and yet comfy.
"Lucky for you that I ordered a ton of Thai food and Laurel had to work till late. So now, you are going to have dinner with me!" Tommy announced with a smile, as he opened the food containers on top of the kitchen counter.
"Yeah, Thai seems good," Felicity said, putting her bag on the small coffee table next to the L shaped couch and moving to sit on one of the kitchen stools. Tommy made a plate for each one of them, knowing her favorites.
"Are you feeling better? I know that Thai is a little bit heavy and spicy, and you weren't feeling so good on Friday. I can order something else for you," Tommy said, worried. Felicity was like the sister that he never had and he cared and worried about her in a way that he only did with Thea, if not more. Her perky and geeky personality was adorable, and Tommy immediately felt an urge to take care of her ever since he met her two years ago. He felt a deep brotherly affection for her; hence him making sure the food was ok for her.
"I'm much better, don't worry about it," she answered as she took a small bite of her food, not even enjoying the exotic flavor, even though it was one of her favorites. Her mind wasn't really on the food in front of her.
"That's good, I got really worried when Nyssa told me you were feeling sick. We didn't even have time to hang out at the party. I really wanted to spend time with you and Oliver," Tommy said, pouring two glasses of wine for him and Felicity to drink along with the food before sitting.
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," Felicity said, sipping at her wine.
"What?" Tommy asked, confused.
"I actually ran into Oliver at the party. He looked different, like really different," she started, losing all appetite whatsoever. This is what she had come here for.
"Oh," Tommy said as he began to eat.
"He actually didn't seem to recognize me," she said softly, watching as Tommy seemed to pale and choke on his food at the same time. Clearing his throat he drank some wine.
"Well who knows, maybe you've changed in the last five years. I'm sure your hair looks different. And he may need glasses or something, we haven't checked and he's getting old and all of that," Tommy rambled, trying to change the subject. Felicity noted it all.
"Tommy…we both know that's not true," Felicity said in a sigh.
"I'll be dammed," Tommy let out in exasperation, moving both hands to his neck, as he seemed to think about what to say next.
"What is going on with Oliver?" she finally asked. From his reaction she could tell that he was hiding something.
Tommy tapped his fingers against the counter before nodding to himself and giving her a serious look, "Ok, I will tell you. But you've got to swear to me this won't leave this room. I promised Oliver and his family. I promised that I would do my best to protect him. If people really knew what I'm about to tell you they'd try to take advantage of this situation. So what I tell you can't ever leave this room. Deal?"
"Of course, I would never say anything anyway," she promised as Tommy took another sip of his wine. It looked like he was seeking the nerve to tell Felicity something big.
"You're right…Oliver is not the same man he used to be, before the boat accident I mean," Tommy said, taking another long gulp of the wine. He needed the liquid courage. The only person he'd talked about this with was Laurel.
"I don't think I understand," she said, feeling even more confused than before. Did Tommy want to say that all those years away had changed Oliver? That he was far from the man they knew? Was that the reason why he pretended to not know her?
"The accident…when it happened he got really hurt. We don't know much about it, because Oliver doesn't remember it. But we know that he got a really bad concussion, with some brain trauma," Tommy said quietly. It was hard to tell her this.
"Brain trauma? What are you trying to say, Tommy?" she asked, fearing the answer.
Tommy set his glass down and finally explained that…"He doesn't remember the life that he had before the accident. He didn't know he was from Starling City. He didn't remember me or his mother or sister. He didn't know his own name. That's why he stayed in Australia all this time. He had no idea who he really was."
"Oh my God," Felicity said in shock. She couldn't believe it.
"I found him accidently when I was on a business trip in Perth. I saw him on the street and I knew that it was him and not just a ghost. I chased after him but I lost him. When I came back to the U.S. I asked Walter for help. He had contacts in Australia and they were the ones that finally located Oliver."
"What has he been doing all this time?" she asked, trying to hold back her tears.
"He was working on a farm. Can you believe it? Oliver Queen, a farmer!" Tommy said with a small laugh, still not believing that it all had been true.
"So he has no idea who any of us are," she muttered, still processing it.
Tommy tilted his head and grinned, "Actually he has been remembering small things you know. Like childhood memories, random facts, strange dreams."
She placed the wine back on the counter, afraid that her shaking hands would drop it. She didn't know if Tommy noticed, "Will he ever remember his past? I mean, what was his prognosis?"
"The doctors aren't sure but they are optimistic. The other day I caught him working on his old bike, even though he said that he had never ridden one. It's like his hands knew what to do, even if his mind didn't," Tommy answered as he continued eating.
"I can't imagine what it must be like," Felicity said, looking down at her hands, "To have my entire life wiped out like that, to try to rebuild it, and then to find out you are one of the richest men in the country. That he had all these people waiting for him and all of their expectations. It's gotta be hard."
"He's trying you know…he has been talking to doctors. He really is trying to find out who he really was or in fact who he is," he said softly, his eyes looking a bit distant.
"Are you ok, Tommy?" Felicity asked, worried as she touched his arm, trying to comfort him. Tommy placed his hand on hers for a second.
"Yeah, it's just that…sometimes it gets too much you know. For years I wished that Oliver had never gotten on that boat. That I could have my best friend back. And when I got this miracle…he wasn't the same guy. I mean, he looks the same, and deep down I know he still is the same Oliver. But he had this entirely different life, a life where his family nor I mattered, you know. And now that he's back I can't expect things to go back to what they were, no matter how much I want them to. I wish he could wake up, remember that he was Oliver Queen, my best friend since we were six years old, future CEO of QC. But he won't, Lis," Tommy said, pressing his hands against his eyes, as Felicity consoled him. She took his food off his lap and placed it on the counter. She remained silent; not sure of what to say to such a confession when she had just received the news of why he hadn't recognized her.
Tommy began again, "I can't expect him to want to be my best friend just because I told him that we were. I can't expect him to try to feel friendship and complete trust with me just because I told him to. I can't expect him to act like the old Oliver when he's not that guy anymore. I can't be this selfish, Lis. I can't pressure him into acting or being something that he's not. And I can't make him feel guilty for saying that an Australian farmer is his best friend and not me. It's not fair to him and it's not fair to me. All I can do is try to win his friendship back because he is not the same man from five years ago…and neither am I."
A/N: Ok, ok I know you were all desperate for an Olicity reunion/happy ending. We are going to get there…eventually. But those two need to work some things out first. So please be patient.
I promise you all it will be good! So let me know what you guys think! And join my beta and I on Twitter to chat!
Love,
PoisonAngelMuse
