A/N: Hello all you fantastic people! Here's a brand new chapter, but I would also like to address some things that I feel is long overdue:
Firstly, I think it's in its place to once again thank you all for the incredible support and kindness you've shown me and these stories that has formed inside my head. Your response, whether if it's a follow, a favorite, a review or even just a PM means the world to me, because it shows that there's still an interest invested in this story and in me, so please keep that up! If I have to include some statistics, the Goldenflower trilogy have up until now a total sum of 127 followers, 133 favorites and 39 reviews on here. THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS, I'm speechless!
Secondly, especially with this final installment, I've come to realize just how close I've based Cornelia on some of my own life without giving you my life story. But, writing this has been some sort of short-termed therapy for me, and it really surprises me how good it feels sometimes to just write, write, write what you feel down, projected into another character. I really like that, so does my imagination (:P) - and I also firmly believe it has helped on my education - especially with my English. And it's really just a huge bonus when people actually like what you're writing - so thank you for that also.
Now, without further ado, I really hope that you will enjoy this chapter just as much as I've enjoyed writing it - which has been a lot.
Goldenflower 3: The Last Return
Chapter Seven:
The idle sound of waves softly colliding with the downside of the Dawn Treader, as well as the sounds of screeching seagulls soothed Cornelia immensely from her seat on the wooden deck, half hidden by barrels, as she absentmindedly was braiding her hair while partly listening to all the thoughts running through her head and partly was watching the people around her. The first person her eyes stopped at was Lucy, who was sitting like her, on the ground on the deck, eagerly sewing with a fond smile on her face while occasionally looking up at the crew, letting out a giggle when someone said something funny. When Cornelia looked at Lucy, she no longer recognised the petite, scared little girl with the short haircut who had, whimpering, been huddled up beside Cornelia in her bed when the Blitz hit London five years ago. The hair was longer, lighter, richer. Almost an auburn mane of a lioness when the sun's rays shone on it. Her face was no longer what you would call a baby face, her features were more profound, but she still had those rounded cheeks and the same sweet smile. What had changed immensely though was the maturity and wisdom in her eyes. Cornelia had seen first hand why her youngest cousin – her baby cousin - was now named High Queen Lucy, the Valiant in the absence of her older sister. Lucy was perhaps the bravest and purest soul Cornelia knew – in several ways. Despite Peter's, Edmund's and her own protectiveness of the youngest in their little clan, Lucy had proved herself in combat several times. And also here and now as a child again had Edmund proudly bragged about his little sister's capability in their fight against the slave traders. But Lucy was also brave in the sense that she dared to always stay true to herself and be who she was. She had shown that as early as at the age of nine, when she stood her ground against her siblings back when they doubted Narnia's existence. Cornelia was almost envious of that trait when she looked back at her own life the past five years. There would have been much less pain, regrettable mistakes and misunderstandings between herself and her cousins, had she only stayed true to herself and been braver and had faith in the people around her.
Cornelia's brows furrowed, then grimaced as she let out a slight huff. Faith. Belief.
The child still inside Cornelia wanted so badly to hold onto faith in people and the world around her. It held on, but lately the dominant side was Cornelia's older, cynical, fifteen-year-old one. The belief in Narnia was stronger than ever as it was her escape from the world she grew up in – a world that was currently suffering because of war in its fifth year – sixth if you counted Germany's invasion of Poland in 1939 that started it all – it was her second home, whom she would fiercely protect because she could. She had influence here whereas in England she had not, where she was completely helpless. She had experienced and seen too much both as a child and as an adult to ever look at the world and people again with innocent and naive eyes. She was too far gone for that. But Cornelia's own, worst enemy was herself – she knew this – because what scared her the most was that she couldn't blame the cause of these cynical thoughts on anyone else but herself. There was no dark magic left in her veins after Jadis had done a number on her. They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but it didn't say anywhere that by not dying, you would lose something of yourself in return. Which is how she felt.
Cornelia looked up at a seagull's screech and looked towards the sky. There was blue hidden behind the white and grey clouds that was currently dominating the skies, fighting to come through infinitely. Cornelia felt the same way. She was struggling so hard to push through and show that she really wasn't okay, but the facades – yes, facades in plural – she had been putting up, all the smiles she had smiled, they were stuck like a thick wall of denial slowly trapping her inside herself more and more.
"Well, this is depressing.." The teen thought to herself as she shuddered when the voice of the stranger rung through her head with the last words he had spoken to her on the top of that cliff. If she didn't think any better, she would think that she had become paranoid. And she was, to an extent. Again, she pointed it in the direction of everything they had been through.
A flash then blinded her for a second, causing her eyes to squeeze tightly together into a frown. She put her hand up in front of her eyes until the flash went away. When it did, her eyes narrowed towards the direction where the flash had come from, an irritated huff leaving her mouth. Her irritated posture deflated however when she found out that the culprit was Lord Bern's sword – and Edmund who was cleaning and polishing it. Cornelia smirked at her older cousin's current fascination, she swore Edmund hadn't let the sword out of his sight since he received it from Caspian, but the smile and the concentration on his facial features also made Cornelia's heart warm and her admiration towards Caspian had only increased because he too, like her, had seen that Edmund struggled. Cornelia had long forgiven Edmund for his attempts at enlisting as a minor – she never could stay mad for long at her family. She noticed the desperation in his eyes – the desperation of wanting to prove himself. His father, Cornelia's uncle, had left his family to go to war, then Andrew did, then their first adventure in Narnia happened – and she knew that it still bugged Edmund to this day. And now Peter, the essential man of the household, had too left them to go study for a career in medicine at Professor Kirke's mansion. That left Edmund as the man in the family now and now, where they had come back to Narnia, some of his suggestions were still brushed aside, because there still was one older royal (visually anyway) and current ruling leader in front of him; Caspian. And the latter had obviously noticed, thankfully. Despite Cornelia's, to some perhaps, peculiar close bond with Edmund, it didn't bias her when it came to knowing how much they meant to Caspian and how much he meant to them. He was another, honorary sibling to all of them, well apart from Eustace she guessed.
Her cousins' cousin was a very strange boy Cornelia just couldn't wrap her head around. She couldn't currently see him, so either he was hiding out somewhere on deck, or either he was hiding out somewhere beneath deck – both scenarios had one material thing in common; Eustace Scrubb's beloved notebook. Whenever Cornelia seemed to catch sight of him, he was nearly always writing in that thing.
Cornelia's head then shot up at Tavros' amused laughter from one of the standings near Cornelia.
"He's talking to birds!" The minotaur laughed wholeheartedly before a crew member chimed in, chuckling while giving Tavros' chest a light slap, "He's mad as a loon, that one."
Cornelia then let out a giggle. Found him. Her giggle proceeded to a chuckle when Tavros in continued amusement landed a rather forceful but friendly slap to the crew member's back, causing the crew member to crumble and nearly tumble over the railing with a grunt. Cornelia still couldn't see Eustace, but a small part of her couldn't help but almost pity him. The crew of the Dawn Treader had from the first day loved to laugh at the boy, who seemingly was related to the nobility of the Old Narnia, but was so far from it in personality. Almost.
Cornelia still hadn't quite forgiven him for calling her an only child.
The fifteen-year-old finished braiding her hair a few minutes later, just to have a familiar pair of boots stop in front of her, "So this is where you've been hiding."
Cornelia looked up to see the tall and lean figure of Tristane stand above her, a playful, boyish smirk playing on his lips. See, he was another peculiar case that Cornelia couldn't wrap her head around these days. Three years had gone by, so there would undoubtedly be changes about the both of them, but Tristane was just..peculiar. Besides from the obvious and visual changes like the sixteen-year-old being taller and his voice deeper, there was his mood swings which really sent Cornelia reeling, a most recent example of the evening before still burning fresh in her mind.
"Do you mind?"
"Not at all." She had answered the previous evening where she had been standing at the railing on the dexk, looking at the Narnian night sky, when Tristane had found and joined her in her stargazing.
"Can't sleep?" She had asked softly, tearing her gaze away from gazing at stars to look upon the boy, who had become one of her best friends in a short amount of time during their last time in Narnia. Best friends. She smiled fondly – it had been one of those immediate friendships that seems so very unrealistic in fiction, but she didn't doubt that the friendship they had together was real.
"You've changed."
Cornelia's eyebrows furrowed. That was a funny way to start a conversation.
"So...have you?" Cornelia's statement came out more as a question. "It's been three years. We ought to change."
"Does that mean that you don't feel it?" Cornelia frowned at the sound of slight exasperation in Tristane's voice. She wasn't used to that, especially not towards her and especially not in a serious situation.
"Feel what?" She voiced innocently, truly clueless about what he meant. Or was she?
She couldn't help but think back to her actions when Tristane had made his dramatic presence known to them after Caspian had fished them out of the water. The way her face had lit up into an anticipating smile, the way her heart had swelled and hopped when Tristane had sent his trademark smirk at her. Wait, what was even that? Cornelia deeply frowned. Was this her teenage hormones second-guessing herself or blowing everything out of proportation – or both? In Cornelia's eyes, nothing seemed to have changed between them except that they had both become older, and Tristane had obviously some mood swings that she didn't know yet how to handle.
Tristane grunted in response, the impatient drumming of his fingers not going unnoticed by Cornelia, who looked from her friend's fingers to his much more shapened facial features. "Something wrong, Tristane? What did Caspian mean by what happened the last time?"
Her friend scoffed, grimacing. "Nothing at all. What would there be wrong? I'm going back to bed."
Cornelia didn't get to object before Tristane had turned abruptly and with a rather noisy stumping around went below deck, slamming with the hatch, the sound echoing in Cornelia's head as she flinched. Cornelia frowned, unsuspecting of Tristane's behavior and unsure as to what to do with herself as she turned back to look at the stars, a sad sigh reluctantly escaping her lips.
"Listen." Cornelia was brought out of the flashback abruptly at Tristane's voice beside her, situated on a barrel to her left. The teen looked sheepish, almost apologetic as he with his left hand was scratching himself at the neck. "I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me. I'm just sorry, I guess."
Cornelia bit her lip as she felt pity towards her friend. Perhaps she was too forgiving after all.
"It's okay." She said softly, shrugging. "Shouldn't have pushed you, I guess."
Tristane blinked for an estimated time of about five seconds before his mouth opened, about to say something when his gaze wandered, his eyes darkening when his gaze fell upon Eustace who snuck away through the door that among other things led to the kitchens. The young guy had noticed a lack of several things since Eustace had arrived on the Dawn Treader with his friends.
"Tristane?"
The boy's gaze snapped to Cornelia who smiled softly at him.
"What? I'm sorry, I just zoned out." His excuse was not uttered with much confidence, instead with a lot of stuttering.
Cornelia smirked, getting herself off the floor, sending him a teasing glare. "Sure you were."
Cornelia walked out from the barrels, Tristane following with a smirk. That smirk however faded as soon as Eustace came tumbling out from one of the cabins with a long knife in his hand, not looking in front of him, causing him to run straight into Tavros, a couple of others and finally Cornelia, sending her tumbling into Tristane who caught her but not before she collided with his chest and she let out a hiss of pain. Tristane stabilized Cornelia's stance before looking down at a rip in her trousers, anger rising inside him faster than it had ever done before, "Watch where you're going your..."
"Trying to run away?" Reepicheep's stern yet taunting voice shouted after the boy as the mouse passed them in an obvious pursuit of the despicable boy.
"What has he done now?" Cornelia sighed before looking towards the mouse and the boy. A ghost of a smile, however, came across her face at seeing Reepicheep so easily toying with Eustace.
"Are you all right?" Tristane asked concernedly.
Cornelia looked up at him swiftly, a pained smile crossing her features before she motioned to the commotion a little bit in front of them. "I am now."
Tristane huffed, a satisfactory smile lighting his face up at seeing Reep force Eustace to fight him by jabbing at his stomach causing the boy to shrink away each time, "That was for stealing, that was for lying."
Tristane's suspicions turned out to be right as Reepicheep with a jab with his small sword pulled an orange out of the boy's overalls. And Tristane out loud laughed when the mouse proceeded to slap Eustace with the orange, "And that was for good measure."
The mouse then laughed as Eustace finally began jabbing away at him, and failing miserably, "That's the spirit! We have ourselves a duel. Catch."
Drinian caught the orange easily, a smirk evident on his else stoic face, Cornelia's shoulders shook as she tried to contain her laughter while Tristane didn't even try. The crew gathered around here and there with amused smiles and gleeful eyes all around.
Cornelia held a hand up to her mouth as she couldn't keep the laughter in anymore from seeing Reepicheep humiliating Eustace so comically, so without thinking she turned around and buried her face in Tristane's chest, her shoulders continuing to shake. Tristane draped, with a warm smile and a gleeful glint in his eyes, an arm around Cornelia's figure, resting his chin on the top of her head.
"Stop flapping your wings like a drunken pelican! Poise!" Reepicheep's frustrated voice rung out. The comment caused Cornelia to laugh out loud, although it was muffled because of Tristane's chest, the laughter moreover almost made her knees buckle, but Tristane held her up, his laughter rumbling deep down into his chest so Cornelia could not just hear it but feel it as well.
The crew's laughter was deafening whenever Eustace missed terribly Cornelia noticed when she finally had gotten over most of her flip and instead watched with amusement how quickly Reepicheep had turned a punishment into a sword-fight lesson.
"Now, lunge with your foot! Not, your left, your right." The mouse chatised the boy, who was red-faced and desperately tried to keep up with the mouse.
"That's right, that's right –oohh, oh no!" Suddenly, Reepicheep seemed to lose his balance on the railing at Eustace' jabs, falling overboard. Cornelia's heart sank for a second until she noticed the sneaky mouse emerge from the floor, sneaking up on Eustace on his right by his head. Reepicheep then tipped Eustace on his left shoulder with his tail, of course causing Eustace to turn around confusedly whereas Reepicheep took a swing and kicked Eustace in the back, immediately causing Eustace to lose his balance and knock over a barrel which Cornelia found to be oddly out of place, "And that...is that."
And then a scream that of a small girl sounded shortly and only Tristane, Cornelia and Lucy, who had watched it all as well, seemed to notice whereas the rest of the crew clapped at Reepicheep's display. Lucy approached the knocked over barrel hesitantly.
As the crew clapped, Cornelia frowned sadly when she saw the little girl, who's father Rhince had become a crewmember on the Dawn Treader, crawl timidly out of the barrel. She stopped her crawling at Lucy's feet and looked frightened up at the young girl. The teen frowned because she didn't think that this place was a place for a little girl, because of the dangers they could end up facing but also because there was nearly no escape from here. And Cornelia didn't want to see yet another little girl grow up before her time.
"Look." Lucy's slightly shocked voice made the crew's laughter die down, the crew instead approaching to see what was going on. Cornelia was about to intervene, unease settling in her stomach of having to be the stern adviser, but Rhince beat her to it, "Gael?"
Rhince moved forward towards his daughter. "What are you doing here?"
For a few seconds everyone just watched and for once, all eyes were not on Eustace who was still on his knees from his fight with Reepicheep.
"Here." Rhince closed the distance between him and Gael as he pulled her in for a hug. Cornelia watched the reactions of several crew members on the ship, and the sight settled the unease in her stomach slightly. They were smiling at the sight. But then Cornelia's eyes flickered towards Drinian as he approached the father and daughter with the orange still in his hand. Cornelia and her siblings definitely had a say and wielded some authority, but Drinian was the captain of the ship and he was the one deciding what was going to happen to Gael. Tristane put a hand on Cornelia's shoulder, squeezing it slightly.
Rhince watched his captain approach warily, not able to read the expression on Drinian's face. Gael stood as close to her father as she could and almost hid behind him when Drinian approached.
"Looks like we have an extra crew member." Drinian spoke softly before handing the orange to Gael with a small smile, Rhince smiling in relief.
The exchange made Cornelia smile, and she felt guilty that she was feeling hesitant towards having Gael with them.
"It would be another one to protect." Her pessimistic side of her mind told her.
Lucy then approached Rhince and Gael, a soft smile on her face and her hands on her hips. "Welcome aboard."
"Your Majesty." Gael curtsied.
"Call me Lucy." Lucy replied with a smile. "Come on."
"It's not your job to protect everyone, Cor." Peter's voice from an earlier occasion echoed in her mind as she softly watched Lucy take the younger girl under her wings – it reminded her of herself and Lucy when they were younger.
"Oh, yes it is." She sighed inwardly.
"Come on, look lively!" A crew member then announced. "Let's get back to work."
"Shouldn't you go with them?" Tristane asked behind her as the rest of the crew went about their business once again, the excitement and revelations easily put into the back of their heads for later.
Cornelia looked to the door to the cabins where Lucy had disappeared to with Gael.
"No," she replied softly, suddenly feeling older than she really was. "I believe Lucy's got this one."
~G~
At sundown, another island was in front of them and Cornelia was summoned to join Caspian, Edmund and Drinian at the helm to discuss whether to stay the night at the island.
Cornelia stood beside Edmund as Caspian was looking into a binocular.
"It looks uninhabited," Caspian declared softly, "But if the lords followed the mist east, they would have stopped here."
"Could be a trap." Drinian offered.
Cornelia agreed.
"Or it could hold some answers." Edmund spoke.
The teen couldn't help but agree with that also.
"At least let us wait until morning to explore," Cornelia offered. "I'd rather not repeat the events on the Lone Islands despite its success in the end."
"Caspian?" Edmund questioned.
Caspian removed the binocular from his eye, handing it over to Drinian. "We'll spend the night on shore. Scour the island in the morning."
"Aye, Your Majesty." Drinian replied.
As Caspian stepped down, he sent a smile and nod towards the Pevensies, happy with their inputs.
They holed anchor at the opening of the bay and rowed the rest of the way towards the small beach, just in time for the sun to set completely, leaving a beautiful purple color reflecting in the water and the sky.
They had started a fire and had eaten and socialized for a couple of hours when the first started to settle down to sleep.
Cornelia sat a bit away from the fire, letting the sand run through her fingers. It calmed her and made her think of happy days on holiday in Southampton with her parents and brother.
A shiver ran through her then.
"Are you cold?"
Tristane's voice made her jump. She hadn't heard him coming at all. It was a very select few people who could manage to sneak up on her without her noticing.
"I'm fine." Cornelia replied, and then ironically she shivered again. She hadn't noticed that the air had grown colder until now.
"Funny," Tristane snorted before he draped something warm, a blanket, over her shoulders, "I almost forgot how stubborn you were."
Then the teenager sat down close to Cornelia so that they could share some body heat off each other.
"Can't sleep?" Tristane questioned, an edge of concern evident in his voice.
"Probably, I haven't tried." Cornelia shrugged, "I wanted to see the sun go down."
"That special?" Tristane then asked playfully, nudging his best friend lightly.
Cornelia's lips curled upwards fondly, "Reminds me of old times, and of home and Andrew. We were at a beach house once with some family friends, and Andrew and I snuck out to watch the sun go down. He told me that we'd never be apart, at least not for long."
Tristane's mouth opened, but he didn't answer right away as he let all the information sink in.
"How long has it been?" He then asked quietly.
Cornelia sighed, not quite believing what she was about to utter, "Almost five years."
Five years.
"If he's anything like you, he'll be all right." Tristane stated, trying to sound chipper.
Cornelia's heart sank at her best friend's words and her heart began beating rapidly against her ribcage as she put her head on Tristane's shoulder and spoke the treacherous words she hadn't dared to say to anyone – least of all her parents or her cousins - but which she had been thinking a lot and which she now entrusted to Tristane.
"I-I know it's an awful thing to say." Cornelia's voice was low, timid and the hope completely vanished from her voice, "but I'm honestly not so sure anymore."
She heard Tristane's sharp intake of breath and she knew; he hadn't thought that he'd ever hear that from her either. Another few seconds went by where Tristane still didn't react, which scared Cornelia endlessly. But then he wrapped an arm around her, and Cornelia let herself sack against his lean body and let the grief and guilt overwhelm her inside.
Near the bonfire, Edmund and Caspian sat and had watched the two teenagers' entire exchange without having been able to hear what was being said. Edmund glared holes in Tristane's back, his eyes narrowing, following Tristane's arm up until it rested appropriately around Cornelia's shoulder.
"Why does this sight unsettle me slightly?" Edmund questioned Caspian without his eyes ever leaving the two figures with their backs turned on them ways in front of him.
"Because you're protective of her?" Caspian chuckled.
Edmund sighed, "She's grown so much the last couple of years. Lucy as well."
"I see that, and I can't quite believe it myself – three years ago they were only little girls, but the fact remains; they're slowly becoming not beautiful girls, but beautiful women. You can't change that, and you can especially not hide the girls from all the boys forever, Ed, no matter how much I wish we could." Caspian replied softly, keeping his protectiveness over the two girls hidden a bit better than Edmund. Because, Caspian was protective over those girls – a fact which Tristane had come to know pretty quickly. Edmund scoffed, "You wouldn't take it so lightly if you'd seen the way some of the blokes back home looks at especially Cornelia. Either she doesn't notice or she doesn't care, I don't know."
Anger rose and flared inside Caspian on Cornelia's behalf, but he held it in. "But you care."
"Of course I do!" Edmund exclaimed in a hushed snappy voice, "She's my youngest cousin, she's too young for those blokes."
Caspian tried very hard not to chuckle at the Just King's words, "Ed, you do realize that she's only two years younger than you, right?"
Edmund sent Caspian a good natured glare before he huffed, "Doesn't matter."
Then the teen motioned to his cousin and friend in front of them. "I still don't like this."
Caspian sighed, "For what it's worth, he's a good guy..."
"But?" Edmund questioned, seeing the flick of conflict on Caspian's face.
Caspian bit his lip and looked at the two teens in front of them before turning to Edmund again, shrugging, "Don't know. Guess you're rubbing off on me after all, huh?"
Caspian's voice was humorous, trying to lighten Edmund's mood, but when he saw that his honorary brother had returned to resolve to glare daggers at particularly Tristane – his comment completely rubbing off on Edmund, the Narnian king sighed, "I'll keep an eye on them. Get some sleep."
Edmund stared ahead for a few more seconds before he muttered something indistinguishable under his breath before he stood up and walked towards his sleeping mat a little across from Lucy, who was already asleep with Gael by her side.
"Ed." Caspian called quietly.
When the teen turned to look at him in a questioning manner, Caspian's lips curled upwards into a small smile but his voice was firm, "It's an order."
Edmund's eyes darkened lightly and Caspian feared he had pushed Edmund over the edge for one night, but when Edmund merely nodded and proceeded to lay down, Caspian figured that everything was all right. He knew that Edmund didn't always – or rather never – did well with taking orders from people, it still fascinated Caspian how balanced Edmund was still on that matter. And his reputation as the Just King of Narnia also spoke in good favor of that; he was a good listener, good to give orders and sometimes, mostly he'd listen to orders.
Once he had made sure that Edmund had settled down, Caspian arose from his seat and approached the two teenagers, who was overlooking the bay where the Dawn Treader still could be seen in the far end.
"All right," Caspian spoke up before he was fully up close to the teens so he wouldn't unnecessarily scare them. His plan had the desired effect as Tristane withdrew his arm around Cornelia, and Caspian was met with respectively a pair of warm brown and sky blue orbs, "Lights out. We have an early start in the morning."
Surprisingly, Tristane almost immediately nodded and stood up and looked apologetically at Caspian. So, the boy knew that taking his frustrations out on him and Cornelia wouldn't do anyone any good. That was progress.
"All right." Tristane said before smiling at Caspian and Cornelia, "Good night, Caspian, Cor."
Caspian nodded at the boy and Cornelia called after him as he retreated away from them, "Good night, Tristane."
Caspian followed Tristane with his eyes and made sure that the teenage boy was turned away from them before the Narnian king took the now vacated seat beside Cornelia.
The girl sent him a confused glance, "I thought you said.."
"I did." Caspian interrupted her, "How are you?"
Cornelia let out a half-whine, "What's with the questioning?"
Caspian's lips curled upwards at her almost child-ish tone, "It's just...we haven't talked that much. I wanted to know if my favorite Goldenflower is all right."
Cornelia let out a giggle, which made Caspian's heart warm, but the teen sent him a pointed look as if he was silly, "Caspian, I am the only Goldenflower you know."
"That's why you're my favorite." Caspian smirked at her and nudged her playfully.
Cornelia smiled, but the smile didn't reach her eyes like it used to.
Caspian nudged her again, but this time his face was wrinkled with concern, "All right. Spill."
Cornelia sighed. She didn't know why, but Caspian could read her like an open book, and she would always just burst out the truth. He had some kind of super power, she reckoned.
"Two things." Cornelia sighed.
Caspian hummed, "I'm listening."
The teen sighed again, repeating herself from an earlier conversation between them. "He hasn't come home."
"But he will." Caspian replied confidently.
Cornelia looked up, yes up, at Caspian. "What makes you so sure?"
Caspian shrugged, "I can feel it."
She nearly scoffed but felt guilty doing it, "I think we're at the stage where it takes a little more than feelings or wishful thinking. It's been almost five years."
"Cor." Caspian was shocked and it also reflected that in his voice, but when he felt her stiffen up beside him, he sighed and continued softly, "If he's anything at all like the way you've described him and you're his sister, then he will be all right and come home to you. But right now, the most important thing you can do is believe that he will come home, although it's hard. You've been waiting and believing in him for five years, don't stop believing in him now."
Feeling Cornelia suddenly tremble beside him, Caspian immediately pulled her into his side with ease, resting his head on top of hers.
"It's just so hard." Cornelia's voice quivered.
Caspian sank once, his apple bobbing as he fought with his own emotions at his friend's anguish and troubles.
"I know." He told her while holding her close, but he knew that he didn't know. He could only imagine.
"Why is Tristane so odd?" Cornelia suddenly quipped before she sniffed her nose wetly from crying.
Caspian chuckled deeply, "You mean in general or..."
Cornelia hit him lightly in the chest, her lips curling upwards at the attempt of a joke, "Last night."
He looked away as he didn't want her to see his smile fade, but he should have known that she would ask about it. She had already, but he had rejected her because they for him luckily had been in a dire situation. But he couldn't use that now.
Caspian sighed, "Do you remember what I told you last night?"
Cornelia nodded, "Yes. You said..."
"Don't mind him." Caspian's voice had made her jump. Not because it was loud but because she hadn't heard him coming, nor expected him. After Tristane angrily had left her standing there, she hadn't suspected anyone else to be up at that hour.
"It's not your fault." Caspian soothed as he came to a stop beside her at the railing. "It's mine."
Cornelia frowned at the statement but didn't voice her concern. "I thought you were sleeping."
Caspian shrugged while motioning to the doors behind them, "I woke when he started slamming doors. I sleep very lightly these days."
"Why?" Cornelia asked concernedly.
Caspian sighed before he softly started speaking, "I'm king now. The people's problems are my problems. Trumpkin is magnificent at taking the brunt of it and help me along, but I need to learn how to do it. To sit through it all with patience and grace. And as for Tristane, well...I think I'm expecting too much of him. He's still just a child and he's going through a rough transformation these years. But he's missed you a lot through it all."
"I've missed him too?" Cornelia frowned.
"I know, " Caspian smiled. "And he knows that too. But he's just been...off for a while, like he's on his own quest to figure something out, and that has sometimes meant clashing with me."
"Over what?"
Caspian looked away, an airily laugh leaving his mouth, "I honestly don't know or can't remember anymore."
That was the first lie he had ever told her.
"Caspian?" Cornelia questioned, causing him to look into her eyes.
"Yes?" He inquired.
"You wouldn't keep something from me, would you?"
Caspian's heart nearly stopped, and guilt began filling up inside him.
"Not on purpose," he thought.
"Of course not." He answered with what he hoped was a trusting and convincing smile.
He swore to himself that he only lied to protect them both. He knew what was wrong with Tristane, he could see it. Tristane was confused and frustrated because of the hormones inside him, acting up and making him see and feel things for other people, especially girls, that up until now was either short-lived and barely had been there at all. Tristane was charming, but he wasn't a heartbreaker – he wasn't that kind of person and Caspian knew it frustrated his charge deeply that he couldn't control it. But that didn't mean that Caspian had forgotten the phase Tristane suddenly had gone through and what he had done during that phase – a phase that had forced Caspian to become more of a parent than a brother to the younger boy, a part that hadn't suited either of them. Caspian didn't know if it was Tristane's temper or actions that had fueled Caspian to be more protective of Cornelia or not, but he dearly hoped that the two of them would figure it out before something happened that could tear all of them apart.
"Just..." Caspian finally said. "Give it some time. He'll come around."
"He better." He thought.
~G~
The bonfire had slowly fizzled out and it was only the stars and the moon that lit up the sky. The waves hit the beach in soothing motions as King Caspian sat and hovered over the Goldenflower. He had told her the truth when he had said that he slept very lightly these days. Some days he doubted he even slept at all.
His gaze swept over his crew, his friends, his family. Tristane, Edmund, Lucy, Cornelia. His eyes stopped at the blonde-haired teenager. Cornelia was in any sense and way, besides the biological, his little sister. And it hurt him deeply to know that she was still hurting so much still, after everything she had been through already. He'd protect her fiercely until his dying breath, and he knew that she would do the same for him. She would do that for everyone she held dear or was a part of the Narnian people or their allies. She gave so much and took so little for herself. Sometimes he wondered when she would reach her breaking point. But he guessed that he had seen some of that, heard some of that tonight.
Caspian blinked. And then he did it again. And again. He frowned and then rubbed his eyes. He had to be really, really tired since he was seeing things. Narnia was a magical land, but the sight before him was almost absurd.
Above Cornelia, a golden line was floating. It was a thick line, almost like the width the fabric to a bow had, and it was waving in the wind. Then a crack in the line formed and Caspian felt a light pain in his chest. He clutched his hand against his chest and looked down. When he looked up again, he did a double take. The line was slowly fading away. He had read about this phenomenom, but he never actually thought that he would experience it. He had doubted whether their connection had been strong enough.
The King then looked at Cornelia's peaceful face worriedly. He could make out something stirring beneath her eyelids as they were fluttering wildly.
And then Edmund's words hit him in a whole other way, in a whole other context, but it hit him hard and it felt like all the air in his body had left him after having been punched.
She was growing up. Way too fast.
