Chapter 8
"So…" Angela's voice never faltered when she was trying to be pensive, "You say Mr. Cullen may have feelings for our friend Bella here?"
My blush was edging on crimson now as Miranda, looking as confident as ever, gave an excited nod.
"Oh you should see him when he's with her!" she went on. I swore she knew how this was torturing me. From the smirk on Angela's face, I was certain she was fully aware, but I was unable to stop them in their happy conversations. I had not seen Angela look so relaxed around me in such a long time…
The carriage pulled into the courtyard, a young woman held her head outside the window. I immediately ran out from the hall and down the front steps- careful not to fall- to meet them.
First out was a young man with sandy-brown hair, whom I knew better as Mike. He wasted no time in helping the woman with him out of the carriage before running over to meet me and wrapping me in one of his 'bear hugs'.
"Bella, Bella, Bella!" he repeated my name excitedly, while squeezing the air out of me. However, I could do nothing but smile.
"Mike! I missed you so much!" I had told myself that this would be a simple meeting, but I think deep in my heart I knew we had all missed each others' company desperately over the last week.
I gave him one more quick embrace before looking behind him, to see…
"Angela?" My voice was now obviously worried as I took in my teary-eyed friend.
She shook her head, trying to calm me, but also a little disbelievingly. As if, she had seen a ghost.
"I-It's just… I haven't seen you looking s-so well in so long!" she was still sniffling as a fresh tear fell down her cheek.
I wasted not another word before marching over to her and embracing her myself. She returned the hug strongly, as if afraid I might float away, I thought.
"I'm so glad to see you." I spoke with all the sincerity I could possibly fill into my voice.
Angela pulled away from me, smiling warmly now, "You look beautiful, Bella."
That did it. I had made up my mind right then and there. As long as I still had Mike and Angela, and as long as they were happy. No matter where I was- I was home.
Behind Angela, I noticed another figure step out of the carriage.
"M-Mr. Cullen!"
Edward tilted his head over to look at me, "Ah, Miss Swan," he took his hat from his head and bowed before continuing, "I was returning from town when I spotted your friends. I figured they would like to see you again a little faster than their feet could carry them, so I offered them a lift."
Angela smiled brightly and nodded at me, "Mr. Cullen was so very kind as to offer us a ride here."
Mike remained silent, but forced a grateful expression on his face.
Edward assured Angela there was no trouble in his actions before turning to me once more, "Miss Swan, you have your duties for today taken care of I'm sure."
I nodded, "Certainly."
A smile tugged at the corners of his lips, "I'm pleased. I hope you and Miss Casilla enjoy the rest of the day. You need not worry about any chores while your friends are here."
"Sir?"
Her foreign accent betrayed her. I turned to find Miranda standing at the front door; her expression helplessly confused.
"I'm sure Bella will need some help showing her guests around the extent of the estate. You seemed the perfect candidate." Edward looked back at me, "If you will have her with you."
My eyes widened, "Of course!" They met his mossy emerald gaze, and I suddenly felt my breath involuntarily leave me, "T-thank you, sir."
That smile continued to tug at his lips as his velvety voice welcomed me, before he turned and retreated indoors.
It took my three friends a total of five minutes to pull me from my daydreaming.
As a result of those five minutes, I felt I deserved this.
Mike eyed me a little uncertainly while the other two continued to speak nonsense.
"Has he pulled any stunts, Bella?"
I expected that.
Miranda and Angela seized speaking immediately, and before I knew what was happening my Spanish friend was in Mike's face and speaking angrily in her native tongue.
She paused for a second, before continuing in a language Mike and the rest of us understood, "I believe that Bella was abused in your master's home, but I can assure you; Mr. Cullen is one of the kindest men you will come across. He would rather die than cause another innocent person pain."
Her voice was low, clear and final. Though her approach to Mike's question had been rude, Mike could not help but smile at the small woman that stood in his face, "I'm relieved to hear that."
I watched amusedly as Miranda's eyes went from steely to wide and embarrassed as she backed away; her face flushed slightly.
An awkward silence resounded through the room for a beat, before Angela spoke up again, "So, Bella. You told us Mr. Cullen is taking the time to tutor you?"
I nodded, though I was still watching how Mike and Miranda were looking at each other from the corners of their eyes.
"He's teaching me to read." I tilted my head back towards Angela before knowingly replying, "He assisted me in reading your letter as well."
Angela's expression went from understanding to horrified in an instant, "W-what?! Surely you jest! Did I not mention him in that letter? Oh, Bella! You're master must think so lowly of me now!"
I laughed, and explained that I believed he enjoyed reading it. My friend seemed still a little shocked, but embarrassment now played her expression too.
"And… what of Mr. Black?" I asked wearily after a while. I had to know though. I needed to know if someone was suffering for my absence.
Mike, of course understood the motive behind such a cold question, "That bastard. Well… we haven't seen him in about four days now. He left for his city house. We were told he would spend the winter there."
Angela chirped in, "That said, we're still busy at the house. Mr. Uley and Miss Young were married the day after you left, which is why our master left the county. The two will be spending Christmas at the Black estate, as Mr. Black said he knew how Miss Young loved the land when it snows. He left them the house for what we believe is the entirety of the winter season. It was his gift to them."
"How… gracious…" I spoke the last word with slight astonishment. To see an act of kindness from Mr Black was not something I would ever be prepared for.
Mike scoffed, before going on about some sort of 'ulterior motive'. I sat comfortably, taking in the sounds of my friends conversing peacefully. No one worried about me, no passing glances in my direction; as if afraid I may break and instant. They just continued to speak on as if everything were perfect. We were all in blissful ignorance to the outside world.
We watched the sun set in the conservatory before Angela and Mike had to part. I took notice of how Angela hastily made her way down to the stables, and pondered if it may have something to do with the young man, Ben Cheney who worked there.
I gave Mike one last embrace before he left, and I was stunned to see him offer one to Miranda as well. I gave him a knowing smile before he retreated after Angela to the stables; his cheeks flushed pink.
Miranda and I then returned inside and I spent the next few hours listening to Miranda speak of my friends in high regard- Mike especially, to my honest delight.
As the clock rounded on seven, I was about to leave Miranda's company for another's. I had not spoken to Edward since that greeting at the carriage, but I could only assume our usual arrangements would be the same for this evening.
However, just as I was about to leave the confines of the conservatory for my Master's study, there was a soft tap at the door followed by a young woman's voice asking permission to enter.
I knew this voice, as did Miranda. "Miss Cullen!" I replied in shock, "Of course you may come in."
Alice opened the door and walked in with a downtrodden expression. I was horrifically astonished at how much older she looked without her usual smile.
"Miss Cullen," I immediately rushed over to her, "What happened? Are you hurt?"
Alice looked at me with a surprised expression. She obviously noticed how I approached such a situation. Whenever someone was upset, I seemed to jump to think they were injured.
"I'm alright, Bella. I would still rather you called me Alice, though." A smile tugged at her lips, but her eyes remained shaded with sadness.
I flushed a little, "I'm sorry, Alice."
Her smile was a little more sincere now as she gazed up at me, "I'm just a little worried, I'm afraid, with regards to Edward. He's… not quite himself right now."
"Master Cullen?" Miranda suddenly questioned, now too standing, "What's happened with-"
I saw two things. Alice met Miranda's gaze with an expecting expression, and Miranda's face immediately fell into the same knowing look I had seen her use on a few different occasions. Usually whenever Edward and I were caught alone in each other's company- which was surprisingly often.
"Alice?" I decided I had to stick my head out if I was ever going to get answers, "What has happened to the master?"
She shook her head apologetically, "I'm afraid it's not my place to say why Edward is so unhappy right now, Bella. It's not my business."
"I see." My voice also sounded apologetic, though I knew it was more disappointed.
"Anyway," Alice said as she stood straighter, "He requested I told you that he will be unable to read with you this evening. He gives his sincerest apologies. If you like, I could take his place for tonight."
I saw her force a smile on to her face as she looked to me, but I was well aware that she was far from being well enough to spend the evening teaching me. She wanted to find a release for the pain she felt in seeing her brother so upset.
She also saw that vent in Miranda.
I knew by the way Miranda offered her a seat; by the way she assured Alice everything would be alright. How she said, 'it always works out eventually'.
I also knew that they couldn't truly discuss the matter with me there.
Therefore, I told them I was tired, wished Alice to feel better and turned to leave the room.
"Bella."
I looked back to see Alice with a strange expression on her face. As if she was trying to see something that had yet to happen, like she wanted to know the answer to something that was pulling at her from the inside.
"I do hope we will be able to speak more openly to each other about conditions as these someday."
I could only give her a faint smile as I finally left the room.
The whole house seemed to reflect in Edwards's bad mood. As I made my way through the silent halls, I went to the only room where I felt I might find a relaxed atmosphere.
The library was empty, much to my relief. I was not sure I would have liked to cross Edward during such an uncomfortable time for him. As I made my way over to the sofa by the grand fireplace, I noticed something sitting on the small table in front of the seat.
Wuthering Heights. Oh how it tortured me now. To remind me so much of Edward right now, was cruel- even for a piece of literature. Restlessly, I took up the book and walked to the back of the room to place it amongst others of the same genre.
As I tidied the novel away, a loud bang resounded throughout the room; undoubtedly startling me. The door had been closed. In the silence following I could hear ragged breaths.
Another bang.
That had not been a door.
I caught sight of something fly towards the wall across from me. Still hidden from whoever was wrecking the room, I stood still with shock.
"Why her?!"
Half a dozen books now raced towards the wall, as my eyes widened at the voice.
Edward.
"Why did it have to be her?!"
I dared to slip out of the shadows and cast a glance at my master. Edward stood with his back to me, oblivious to my presence as he gazed into the fire. Around him, the table upon which had sat Wuthering Heights was now turned over. Countless books were littered across the floor.
Edward was not finished however, he marched over to the mantelpiece, above which sat a painting of who I knew to be his late mother and father. He was reaching up for it with a destructive spark in his eye.
No.
Before Edward could take hold of the painting, I had rushed out from my place behind the shelves and launched myself at him. I wrapped my arms firmly around him as he let out a surprised yell.
"Get off me!"
And now I was on the floor. He had thrown me to the ground roughly, and I knew I had hit my head because everything had suddenly gone very hazy.
But not his eyes.
No. I watched as his eyes went from coal black and returned to emerald. As his expression went from pure rage... to horror.
"Bella?!"
He went to approach me, and instinct immediately had me edging away. He stopped still, the horrified look never faltering as he anxiously asked me if I was all right.
I nodded, reaching back to rub my throbbing head. When my hand came back, I noticed it was stained red.
Just wonderful.
Edward took two steps back as his hand clasped his mouth, "Bella! Stay right there, don't move! I'll be right back!"
Then he left.
And I just lay there.
It took him only a minute to return with a large black bag. Obviously filled with his instruments and medicines. He paused for a second before approaching me slowly. I fought the urge to get away this time. I kept my gaze firmly on his however, not daring to look away in case that murderous glare returned.
Without a word, he placed his arms around me and lifted me on to the sofa. I would have blushed crimson if I was not already fighting off unconsciousness. He pulled out a bottle of antiseptic and dampened a clean cloth before bringing it carefully to my head.
I winced away when the stinging sensation came, and immediately regretted it when I saw Edward's face fall even more than before.
I remained still for the rest of the procedure, and when the blood had stilled he stopped and took a step back.
"Miss Swan, I'm so sorry."
My eyes dared themselves to meet his again, and I felt his pain even from where I sat. I knew he was sorry. I knew he had not meant to hurt me. Because I knew what would have happened if he had.
"Mr. Cullen…"
I raised my hand back to my head, still dizzy. By the time I could focus again, he was at my side, fixing a cushion behind me, "You should close your eyes, but don't fall asleep, all right?"
I did as I was told; leaning back on the pillow, I closed my eyes gently.
"I'm sorry."
I could imagine the incredulous look he was giving me now at my own apology. I did not need my sight. I merely continued as if I was oblivious, "I should not have interfered, I was foolish and ignorant to how you may have felt, and-"
"Bella!"
My eyes snapped open and fixed themselves on his immediately. He was indeed giving me that incredulous expression, but it was mixed with regret… and something of warmth.
"Under no circumstances is what I just did to you forgivable, understood? You should hate me right now."
I heard how his voice fell towards the end of the sentence, and his head now hung in shame.
He truly thought himself a monster. I had never seen this side to my master. I never wished to have to see it again.
This was his demon.
As Jacob had been mine.
And… as he ridded me of my monster. I felt the need to try ridding him of his.
Then, my hand was over his on his lap. He gazed up at me; confused and surprised as those emerald eyes searched mine for reasoning behind my lack of abhorrence towards him.
"I will not hate you for something you had no intention of doing."
He shook his head unsatisfied with my answer to his unasked questions, "You can't just do that, Bella!"
By now, I was fully aware of his use of my first name, even my nickname.
"Rules are meant to be written. Show me where that rule of yours is written. Amongst your vast collection of literature you must have such a rule printed somewhere. Show me?"
Edward heaved a sigh, but a smirk tugged at his lips, "It was in one of the books I threw to the fire."
I smiled in return, my hand still gripping his gently, "Well… I guess it's no longer a rule then."
I wanted to gasp when his hand turned and took my own firmly, but I held it back.
"I will never understand you, Bella Swan."
"I want to try to understand you."
His gaze flashed up to mine and my breath once again left me. I only then realised how close we were, but I also realised how my mind didn't think it to be close enough.
"Very well." He nodded slowly, squeezing my hand a little before returning it to me.
He stood up, and I watched patiently as he walked to the fire once more. Now watching the flames dance, he spoke to me.
"I was given a good life. My parents worked desperately to assure that my siblings and I had at least that much.
"When I was but sixteen, I met a young woman whom had stolen my heart; Tanya."
I swallowed hard at this information. I could not fathom why hearing Edward speak of being in love hit me so hard, but it did. He was unaware of this however, and he continued.
"We were engaged soon after we met. My father adored Tanya, and my moher could not be happier to see her son so in love- or so she told me. My Alice and Emmet got along with Tanya very well too.
"About two months before the wedding we were to meet the local clergyman about the ceremony. I was to go with Tanya, but I was requested urgently by a woman to check her husband who was ill at the time. Tanya assured me that she could handle the ceremony arrangements on her own, and to go take care of the sick man.
"It didn't take very long. After I had met the man and given him any medicine he needed I went straight over to the church. However, I was told there that Tanya had not shown up before."
Once again, I swallowed hard, but not out of any pain I could feel for myself, but because I knew how this story would go. Edward still had not looked up from the fire, but continued to speak in as clear a voice as he could muster.
"Naturally I began to worry. I set off immediately to look for her, but when I could not find her anywhere in town I quickly returned home. When I arrived… that's when the biggest scare of my life came.
"Alice came to meet me in the courtyard. She never told me, no one had to. One look at her expression sent me running into the house and upstairs."
He paused now, his eyes closed. He couldn't say this without remembering it, and I knew it was killing him.
"She was in her room. I didn't have to ask anyone. I followed the blood…
"My father had tended to her as best he could, but she was destroyed. Her face, arms, body… everywhere was a mess of bruises and dried blood. And her eyes… they looked at me, but they were blind. I knew. She was slipping away."
He clenched his eyes shut tighter, "I stayed with her that night. By morning… she was gone."
That was it. That was the story of Edward Cullen.
And I wished I had never heard it.
Slowly, I stood up from the couch. I could feel my eyes welling with tears to replace the ones that had just fallen down my face. I was crying for him. When I was beside him, all I could do was touch his arm gently, afraid to do more. Afraid to break him.
It was then I understood how my friends used to feel around me.
I swallowed my own guilt, not wishing to think selfishly right then. When he didn't move away from my hand, I reached up to his cheek; gently turning his head away from the fire and to me.
"I'm so sorry, Edward."
His eyes opened at the sound of his name, and they seared into my own.
"I never want you to get hurt again, Bella. I need you to promise me you'll be safe, always."
Such an odd request, but I couldn't deny him.
"I promise."
Together, wordlessly we led the other towards the sofa, never taking our eyes off each other as we sat down.
I was stunned when he took my hand in his and raised it to his mouth. He brushed his lips against each of my knuckles, forcing a stunned gasp from me, before trailing gentle kisses up my arm. My eyes slipped shut as my stomach twisted itself in knots.
This is wrong, isn't it?
He's hurting.
He'll regret this if it goes any further.
Stop him!
"Edward!" I tried to stop him, but his name came out in a groan.
However, he knew what I was saying. His lips stopped at my throat and he pulled away slowly before melding his gaze with mine again, "Bella, not tonight. Please don't try to stop me tonight. I know what I'm doing."
I didn't speak to him again that night and before he could say anymore my lips had crashed over his.
Not tonight.
Alright.
A/N: Well, was this worth the long wait? Again, I know I wrote this on my profile, but I'm so sorry for the length of time it took me to get around to this! My wrist is pretty badly hurt, but I can kinda manage the typing now! I need to thank my brother for writing down some of the story when I couldn't type anymore xD
I hope This was worth all your patience!
And I hope it's still worth a few reviews, hehe!
Thanks for reading!
Kami! =]
