Title: The Boy and The Red Balloon
Author: Evil Beware We Have Waffles
Pairing: Klaine (Kurt/Blaine)
Rating: M
Authors Note: I'm so sorry for the long delay again; but t's finally summer time for me though. Only one thing of bad news – my computer's backlight is broken. I'm using my computer monitor right now, and I'm still able to access everything. But we have to take my computer to the shop to get fixed. I don't know how long that will be, but updates could still be a little spread out, not being able to have my own computer to write them on. I may just write it all in a notebook, and then once I have my computer back, type it all up. I'm so sorry.
It is rated M for a reason.
Kurt was a complete idiot. What did he think he was doing? Taking directions from someone who claimed to be the boy who ruined his heart's friend, and driving towards to – what? Comfort him? Why? What had Blaine done to deserve the comfort? He didn't deserve any of it. Blaine was the one who ran, Blaine was the one who ruined it all, but yet … here Kurt was … driving towards the house where he was currently lying.
His heart still hurt, his eyes still felt bloated from crying so much, even though he hadn't been crying in the past few hours. He was tired, and he wanted to sleep, because he hadn't done a lot of that in the past couple of days either. His grips tightened on the steering wheel, suddenly debating whether or not he should turn around, and just drive home, forget about Blaine, since he isn't work the pain he had been suffering through for the past few days.
But then he was at the door of the apartment building, running up the long staircase towards the apartment number he had written in blank ink of his hand, and he was knocking loudly on the door, before he even thought, once again: what the fuck am I doing?
The door swung open, and there was a short Asian boy standing in the doorway, and a African American boy was standing closely behind. Kurt waved at them a little before walking in the doorway, slipping off his jacket.
"I'm Wes," the Asian boy said, holding out his hand towards Kurt, he motions back to the other boy, "And that's David. We're … Blaine's friends."
"Where is he?" Kurt asks shakily, honestly now completely scared of what will happen when he steps in the same room as Blaine Anderson once again.
"In his room," David says quietly, "He's not screaming anymore, or sobbing so loud that the neighbours can here, so that's good…"
Kurt's heart just aches there. He can't seem to picture Blaine crying, but apparently he had been lying in his room sobbing and Kurt can't help but feel just a little bit guilty – even though he really doesn't have to.
"Come with me," Wes says, glaring at David a little, taking Kurt's shoulder and bringing Kurt along with him towards a door down the hallway of the apartment. Wes tells Kurt that this was where Blaine was, through that door and in bed. Then Wes left, leaving Kurt in front of the door alone.
Kurt thinks he stands there for at least five minutes before he realizes that he either needs to go in or get lost. Kurt's trembling hand reaches towards the doorknob, and slowly eases it open, he walks shakily into Blaine's room, feeling very sick.
Blaine's room smells, that's the first thing Kurt realizes. It smells like sweat, and there's this other odd order, that Kurt can only call sex, and it's sort of disgusting. But the most heartbreaking thing about Blaine's room is the figure lying in the bed, that was most obviously Blaine, small whimpers of pain, lost sobs that had been choking out of him. It broke Kurt.
Kurt walks slowly over to the bed, sitting down on it, and then Blaine is turning around, his eyes – red and blotchy from crying – are widening, and it literally looks like the air has been taken away from his throat, because this weird squeaking sound, that sort of also sounds like a sob emerges from Blaine's throat, and Kurt can only give Blaine a sad smile.
Then only four simple words pass between them.
"You came."
"I came."
Then Blaine's face is crinkling up in the most heart breakingly of ways, and he's falling into Kurt's arms. Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine, holding his head into his chest, and lying down on the bed, as Blaine cries softly into Kurt's neck, holding him there, drinking in his scent. Kurt feels like breaking down as well, because this just feels so perfect, having Blaine in his arms, but he doesn't even know what's wrong, or why Blaine is so hurt by everything, when he was the one who left.
"I'm so sorry Kurt," Blaine sobs out, his grip tightening on Kurt's waist, his face pressing into Kurt's neck, "I am just so, so sorry, I didn't mean any of it! Any of it!"
"Shh, it's alright," Kurt soothes, running a hand through Blaine's hair, which actually feels a little gross, because Blaine probably hasn't showered in a few days, but he doesn't care. "I know, it's alright, I promise you."
Blaine continues to sob brokenly into Kurt's neck, the tears running around Kurt's neck, but he doesn't even care anymore, he could be lying in a vat of dirt now and he wouldn't care what it would do to his clothes, or his hair. He was with Blaine right now, holding Blaine, soothing Blaine that was all that mattered.
After a while, Blaine calmed down, and they were now resting quietly in the bed, Blaine's head resting softly on Kurt's chest, his arms wrapped around Kurt's waist, and Kurt's hand stroking through Blaine's dirty hair.
"You have a lot to explain," Kurt whispers quietly.
Kurt can feel Blaine nod against his chest, "I know," he whispers, "I'm sorry. I'll explain it all soon… I just … I want to be with you right now. I just want to be."
"Alright," Kurt says quietly, "Shower, eat something – because I'm sure you haven't eaten properly in awhile – and then come back to bed. I'll be here waiting."
Blaine looks up at him, sniffling a little, "Promise?"
Kurt nods, "I promise."
Blaine is standing in the doorway of his bedroom, changed, clean, his hair wet and sort of falling everywhere. He's staring at Kurt, who is sitting on his bed, his back against the wall, staring down at Blaine, with an unreadable expression.
"You're pretty," Blaine says, blushing a little bit.
"You're trying to change the subject," Kurt says.
Blaine sighs, going to sit down on the end of the bed, "It's a really long story."
"I'm willing to listen," Kurt smiles, "That's why I'm here, don't you forget."
Blaine nods a little, going to settle down in front of Kurt, his legs crossing, and he sighs a little, placing his head in his hands, "When you're younger, your father is … your everything, right? Especially when you're the eldest son of the family. He's the one who teaches you how to ride a bike, and cheers you on when you finally do it, he's the one who answers all your questions about your body that you are way too embarrassed to ask your mother. He's your father, and you love him, right?"
Kurt nods, knowing exactly what Blaine means by that. His father is definitely his everything; he couldn't picture his life without his father. Without his father, Kurt thinks, he wouldn't be the man he was today.
"That's who my father was to me when I was younger, he was everything to me. I loved him … so much," Blaine's eyes fall shut sadly, as he seems to go into deep thought, "That was … until I was fifteen – when I came out…. My father didn't approve of that, he told me I was lying, that I was confused and I was going to go somewhere to get fixed. When I refused… he left, he just left. He didn't even say goodbye to my mother, who was screaming for him to come back, he just packed up all his things… and left.
"So, my family moved on. My mother, sister and I got to move on with our lives without our father, the man we thought we knew. But life goes on, you know? You learn to get over the past, and move on with the new. So that's exactly what my family did. For the rest of my teenage years it was my mom, my sister and I living in our house in New York, they were there and they accepted me, they were there when I got my first kiss, they were there when I had to go through my first break up, and they were there for my high school graduation. They were there for everything.
"When I went into university, the first couple of years were good, I met a lot of new people, but I never really had a … boyfriend, I dated around, but I never stayed with any of those guys. They just weren't… my type, I guess. My last year of university is when … everything started to go down the bad road," there was a long pause, and Kurt could only stop and wait for Blaine to continue with his story, "My dad came back," he breathed out, through clenched teeth, "He just … showed up at the house one day, and apologized for everything. My mother, because my mother, and the hopeless romantic she is, let him back in. She just … allowed him back in the house, and they started acting like a couple again. I think they might be engaged again now, I don't know.
"So my dad thinks that because of all the years we've been apart that somehow I've changed, and I have to tell him that I do indeed still like guys. It somehow still doesn't go into his thick skull, and so we just move on. Every so often my father brings home a lovely woman for me, and I have to tell that poor girl, that I am very much gay.
"One day, I just snap. My father and I have a huge argument, and I leave the house, I go to this bar, and I get drunk. I get wasted, and then I meet this guy – I don't remember his face, and I can vaguely remember what he looks like. But we get talking, and eventually he has me pushed up against the back of the bar wall with his tongue down my throat, and then I was taking him home. Me and my drunken state was thinking, hey, maybe if I took a guy home, and let him fuck me, then my father will finally get the picture, and leave me alone. So that's exactly what I did. I took the guy home with me, and I let him fuck me. That was the night I lost my virginity."
Kurt could only stare wide-eyed now at Blaine. He hadn't pictured Blaine's past like that. He thought that maybe it didn't have to be the average sort of family, but in the back of mind he had always thought that something was wrong with Blaine. Something had made him always act like this.
"I'm sorry," Kurt starts, reaching out his hand to take into with Blaine's, but Blaine stands up, shaking his head and walking over towards the wall.
"Don't say anything, just – I'm not fished yet. Not quite. Just wait," he says, holding his hands up protectively. There's another quiet pause before Blaine starts talking again. "I lived on my own for a while, and I finally finished and graduated from University – maybe not with the best marks, but I still passed, and I was done. Then I started to feel like… I had nothing. I didn't have school to keep me busy from my own thoughts, so of course I let them wander, like I always do. I started to miss the feeling of … intercourse. So I … I went to bar one night, got drunk, and did the exact same thing I did before. Then I did it again, and again, and again. I lost my job; I was evicted out of my house, that's why I'm here in Wes and David's house. But I kept doing, I kept getting drunk, and fucked, until I was the one bringing the people home. It just kept on going and going, and I didn't stop because it brought me this feeling … of … power. Like – 'Hey, I can't make my family happy with my sexuality, but I sure can make some guy happy with my dick!'" Blaine sighs, leaning back on the wall and sliding back on it.
"What about me?" Kurt asks very quietly, "What was the difference between me and the other guys you've met?"
Kurt can hear Blaine swallow. "You were just so much more interesting, it felt like I was attracted to you like a magnet, like you just drew me in and I couldn't escape. I needed to get to know you because you were different. You obviously liked me," Kurt blushed at that, "but you refused to do anything about it. It was different."
"And why did you leave?"
Kurt swears he can hear a little sob comes from Blaine, and when he looks up at him, there are tears already threatening to fall from his face.
"Because I don't deserve this," Blaine whispers, "I don't deserve to be happy, or to be able to love someone and have them love me back. I don't deserve any of that, especially what I've done to my friends, and my family, and now you. I just – I didn't deserve it."
Blaine curls up in a ball then, bringing his legs up to his chest, and hides his face in his knees, and he starts to cry softly and brokenly again. Kurt just walks up towards Blaine, and wraps an arm around his shoulders, and helping him up again, bringing him back to the bed and tucking him in, petting softly at the mostly drying mop of curly hair on his head.
"Y-you're not leaving, are you?" Blaine sobs, gripping tightly onto Kurt's hand that is petting his hair, "You're not disgusted and leaving now are you?" the panic is very evident in his voice.
Kurt shakes his head, "No, I'm staying right here, Blaine."
"Promise?" Blaine sobs.
"I promise."
