I don't know if it's the fact that I know I have infinite time ahead of me or I was just feeling impatient, but it took forever for them to get back. I sat on the couch and chewed on my lip,my teeth were like razors and I felt a prick. I walked over to the mirror and watched the cut heal itself almost instantaneously. It weirded me out. I heard a tentative knock at my door, which struck me as strange considering how I heard them arriving from a mile out from the house. I guess it was just out of politeness. I flitted over to open the door not expecting to come face to face with Edward. He looked surprised, I noticed his eyes flit down my form and back to my face. I took a step back extremely startled. I could see Alice with a grin on her face peering out from behind him. My eyes settled back on his face. His eyes were guarded. I noticed they were a brighter honey color. I swallowed hard feeling the dull ache in the back of my throat returning. I was memorizing the angles of his face when he spoke through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry for the way I've been acting." He dragged each word out and then turned his face to the side. I giggled. He looked like a petulant child with his arms crossed. He turned back to me with raised eyebrows.

"It's fine, you don't have to apologize. I understand this is all really sudden and out of nowhere. I really don't mean to put anyone out." I tried not to narrow my eyes at him unsuccessfully. Some things never change I guess, vampire or not.

I heard the sound of Alice smacking him in the back.

"You're not putting anyone out. We are glad to welcome you to the home. I am right next door if you have any questions.

I almost spat out an 'I know' but didn't want to give myself away at how I was standing in his room just a little while ago. My cheeks would have been red if I still had the ability. Thank god for losing out on that, it's always a dead giveaway.

"Thank you." He nodded and then walked over into his room. His scent still lingered in the air, making my mouth water and my lower abdominal muscles tighten. Jesus what is up with me?

Alice smiled apologetically. "He'll come around." she danced away to her room. I wondered if I moved that graceful now that I am one of them.

I closed my door and sat back down on my couch. Huh. My couch.

That thought sent everything crashing down onto me. All I could do is replay over and over again in my head finding my mom, losing out on so much of my life when I haven't gotten to experience nearly enough, how Charlie must be feeling losing his only daughter, me attacking Jessica. My eyes burned because I couldn't cry. All I could do was pick up my pillow and scream into it. I may not have a heartbeat anymore but that didn't stop it from feeling like it was breaking. I felt a pressure where it used to be and cried out harder into my pillow.

I don't know how much time passed before I heard a soft knock at my door. I was laying down facing away from whoever walked in regardless of my lack of response. I felt someone lift my head and slide their lap under and started stroking my hair. I felt empty, but the human, sorry Vampire, contact helped soothe me. I turned up to see Rosalie. She smiled and I could see it in her eyes too. She felt my loss with me and understood completely how it felt to lose everything, to have your world come crumbling down around you.

Neither of us said a word, we just stayed like that, two kindred spirits.

My throat started to burn and I was the first to break the silence.

"I'm thirsty." My voice didn't betray how much emotion I had felt over the past few hours. Not like it would have if I was still human. She just nodded and got up. I stood up and followed her downstairs where everyone else was. I noticed Edward wasn't with them. They all turned and Alice jumped up.

"I see you're hungry again!" How could she be so happy." Wait here just a moment I am going to check the area before we go out!" She darted off and came back just a few minutes later. She grabbed my hand and led me outside. I could smell it before we stopped. It was that earthy smell again. My head turned towards it sniffing the air. My mouth filled with venom and my teeth began to ache. I needed to sink my teeth into something. I could vaguely hear Alice trying to give instruction but I was already gone. My instinct told me what I needed to do. I leaped into the air and caught it mid jump. I sank my teeth into her and drank fully. I could feel the blood pumping into my mouth with her frantic heartbeat. It was ecstacy. It was a little bitter but still satisfying. I felt that last beat before she finally died. I dropped her to the ground and wiped my mouth with my arm.

My vision cleared and I saw it was a doe. I breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn't a person. I don't know if I could live with killing a human being. I looked up to see Alice wide-eyed. She did this little jump and clap.

"You're even faster than Edward! He's gonna love that." She laughed at a joke that I didn't understand. My eyebrows pulled together. I was still running on that high of hunting and her mention of Edward changed my mood drastically. I remembered his head between my legs in the dream Danny gave me. I felt a shiver run down my spine. I really need to get a hold of myself. Alice laughed again. She grabbed my hand and dragged me inside.

"We need to shop for some new clothes for you!" Is she always this high energy? The house blurred past me and everyones shocked face as she yanked me to her room. She pulled out her laptop and started showing me different outfits and dresses. We spent a good couple hours with me turning down most of the outfits she showed me. I just wasn't down with showing that much skin. I mean my body looks pretty awesome and I have boobs now, but that doesn't mean I want them hanging out. Then again, who is really going to see them but the family...and Edward...A thought popped into my head and a smirk spread across my face.

"Hey can we pull up a couple of those dresses you showed me earlier?" It caught Alice off guard but she happily obliged.

"I knew you would come around!" She did that little clap thing and pulled up the other dresses. My favorite was a lavender colored one with a plunging neckline that would stop right at my hips exposing my stomach. There was no way I would be able to wear a bra with this one but then again. Who is really going to be seeing me? After I was done picking out my outfits and spending a ridiculous amount of money. Like I could have bought a house for what that wardrobe cost, but Alice said it was no biggie. I'm not gonna complain.

"So. What is Edwards problem?" My curiosity got the best of me.

Alice pondered for a moment, as if she was deciding if she should tell me or not. I'm guessing she decided against it because she just shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure. Why don't you ask him?" My mouth set in a line.

"Because I doubt he will give me an answer." She just laughed.

"Again, I'm sure he will come around." I'm glad she sounded so sure because I wasn't.

I sighed. I knew I couldn't sleep but I wanted to go to my room to rest at least. I figured I could take another bath.

I headed towards the bathroom and almost collided with Edward walking out of it. His face was contorted in anger but all I could notice was that he was wearing only a towel. I drank in the sight of him as fast as I could since I don't know when I will ever get a chance like this again. His chest was broad and smooth leading down to chiseled abs. He was carved perfection. Sadly the place I wanted to see most was covered. I realized my mouth was hanging open and I was breathing heavily. He was staring at me like I had grown a second head. He had said something but I didn't hear it. My eyes went back to his face so I could understand him over my hormones going haywire.

"Can you move so I can get dressed in my room?"

"Oh yeah. Right. Sorry." I was so embarrassed I lowered my head so he couldn't see my face. Bella you idiot. Did you seriously just stand there gawking at him? He shoved past me. I could hear a low growl as he walked into his room. I shook my head and walked in. His scent was amplified because of the steam from his shower. It was all I could smell and the shivers ran throughout my body again. I felt like I was going to combust. My hands were running down my body. I knew I what I wanted to do. I shook my head. They have good hearing, don't want to embarrass myself further. Get your shit together Bella. I started the bath and slid in. I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't realize how tense my shoulders were. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. This was as close to sleep as I was going to get. I could hear Emmett and Rosalie watching some movie. It must be a comedy because Emmett would keep guffawing. Alice was typing away at her computer. I couldn't hear Carlisle and Esme, maybe they were out hunting. Where was Jasper? I haven't seen him since his argument with Edward. I hoped he didn't get kicked out. He did still technically save my life. My thoughts started turning dark again. I wonder what's going to happen with Danny.

I finally pulled myself out of the bath and dried off. I needed those clothes to come in. All I had was the dress Esme lent me, so I put that back on. I padded back to my room. I could hear some music playing from Edwards room. It was classical music and I wondered what he does in there. I stared at the door that separated us. He is right there, with only a door separating us. I looked around my room again and noticed I had a stereo set up. I saw all of my CDs from my car were already set up for me here. I searched through them trying to decide what I was in the mood for. My subconscious chose for me. I clicked play and went and layed back down on my couch. Manson started pouring from the speakers. I breathed out, closed my eyes and got lost in the beats.

I felt a prickle on my neck. My instincts told me I was being watched and I held my breath to try to listen. I kept my eyes closed and listened focusing on the outside and moving closer in to where I was lying. I heard it. It was a soft breath coming from nearby. I pinpointed it towards Edwards room. I sat up quickly and turned to the door that separated us. Was he watching me? I got up and walked closer to the door. I could smell his scent but it smelled, different, I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. He was just standing here a moment ago. How weird for someone who hates me to be watching me. I was torn between walking in and asking what his fucking problem was and just going back to my couch. The couch won. Coward.

I was becoming antsy from staying in my room. I noticed the sun was already coming back up. It's still weird how I can't sleep. I don't feel tired though. I heard a knock at the door and decided to go see who it was. I opened it and had a clipboard shoved in my face.

"Delivery for Bella Cullen." I raised my eyebrow but signed. Why did she put their last name instead of mine. I would have to ask her about that when I see her. I picked up my box and closed the door. I thought it was going to be heavy but I didn't even feel the weight despite how many outfits must be in here. I plopped the box in the middle of my room and started hanging everything. After it was all done I realized I had barely made a dent in the space of my closet. I should change. I smiled as I picked up the lavender dress. It fit perfectly and after checking myself out in the mirror I was happy I chose it. I hoped it would drop Edwards jaw. I sighed. Always chasing after what you can't have Bella. I walked downstairs looking for Alice. I found her in the living room watching TV. She had a frown on her face for once.

I looked to the TV to see a picture of me flash. It was the news. They were talking about how I was taken by a bear and showed a very distraught Charlie. I couldn't keep watching and turned away. I remembered why I was looking for her.

"Hey Alice, why did you put my name down as Cullen for the delivery?"

She jumped. Her concentration must have been deep because I was sure she had heard me come up. Maybe I was quieter than I thought.

"Oh hi Bella!" She changed the channel quickly. "We had it changed to match our family name. Eventually we will have to move and start over in a new place and it would help curb suspicion if we gave the same story. That you were adopted by Carlisle and Esme."

"Oh. That makes sense. Where's Jasper?" As I asked he came strolling in and plopped next to Alice placing his arm around her. She cuddled into him. They looked happy. My phantom heart gave a squeeze. I missed having that.

"Glad to see you are back. I was worried you had gotten run off!" I laughed tentatively.

He smiled. "Nah they can't keep me away from Alice. We have our disagreements now and then." He drawled out. They both then turned to the TV. I got the hint and left. I decided to try to explore. I walked through the other rooms. The kitchen was painted in soft neutral colors and was spotlessly clean. It's not like they use it much I guess. There was a huge dining room table that had intricate designs in it. It looked like it was Cherrywood. For vampires who don't eat they sure go all out. There was a sitting room with a grand piano. There was a comfy looking chair nearby it that faced outwards to three windows that had maroon curtains. I wonder who plays. I found a few doors down a hall and found them to be a library, a study, and another bathroom. At the very end of the hall I could smell Carlisle and Esme. I could hear they had a TV on. I decided to turn back and look around the back yard. I remembered a door that was by the kitchen and wondered if it went outside.

I wandered back and opened it up being hit with the smell of rain. It had that muddy, watery smell it normally does only amplified by 10. I crinkled my nose and decided to stay inside. I was bored and wondered if they had any good books. I walked back to the library and found Interview with a Vampire. It was one of my favorites and smiled at the irony. I didn't feel like going back to my room and went looking for the sitting room. It at least had windows and I could open a couple curtains to look outside.

His scent hit me before I got to the doorway to the room. He's in there. I crept quietly to the door to peek in. He was sitting at the piano scribbling something down. I ran my eyes down his profile and felt desire rising up again. I didn't want to be caught acting like a dog in heat again so I turned back to head up the stairs. Everyone was kind of far away. I wonder if I can relieve some tension. I was going through my CDs in my head as I wandered up the stairs. It might help drown out some sounds. I settled on Korn. It would be loud enough and I could blame some of the sounds on the music. I didn't realize how much I needed this until I got to my room and excitedly shoved the CD in and pressed play.

I got an idea to help get things going. I opened the door to Edwards room and let his scent hit me full force. It had that different tone to it that I noticed from yesterday. I still couldn't figure out what it was but it had the same effect on me as it normally did. I felt that creeping desire. I inhaled deeply and went back to my couch. I slid my hand down my body slowly. Feeling a fire as I imagined it was him touching me. I closed my eyes and got lost in the feeling. I could feel I was extremely drenched and began to work my fingers inside of my folds. My breathing became more rapid. I pictured his tongue flicking and sucking on my clit. My hands running through his hair. I felt that familiar pressure building. My hands started working faster. I was right there on the edge.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry." My eyes flashed open to him standing in the doorway that bridged our two rooms. "The door was open and I was just going to ask you to turn the music down. I-I had no idea." He wouldn't meet my eyes and it was the first time I had ever heard him stammer. If I could blush I would be crimson red. How could I be so careless and leave the door open. I rearranged myself. I didn't even know what to say. Not only was the door to his room left open he just caught me pleasuring myself. I heard him clear his throat."Um. Have a good night." His voice had an edge to it as he closed the door. I sat there for a second before I started laughing hysterically. Of course this shit would happen to me.I hope you got a good look. God knows when I'll be able to attempt that again.

I was distracted by a commotion from downstairs. I walked out to see Edward was walking out at the same time. Edward ran downstairs towards it. I was about to head that way when a voice came from behind me.

"I can practically smell your desire from here."