SO I DECIDED NOT TO MAKE THIS AS AWFUL AS I ORIGINALLY PLANNED, BECAUSE EVERYONE LOVES A GOOD BHLOE. CHAPTER 9 IS IN PROGRESS AND SHOULD BE UP SOON.
Chapter 8
LATER THAT WEEK-
Chloe and Aubrey were out for a much needed "Girls' Day" and decided to hit up some stores to search for maternity clothes. Chloe had been starting to show a little more and now most of her pants weren't fitting her waist anymore.
Aubrey agreed that it was a travesty and an emergency trip to the Mall was in order. Chloe immediately went for the shopping carts as she stepped into TJ MAXX. As much as she enjoyed shopping with Aubrey, she knew the blonde loved to make it an all-day affair. Chloe knew she might as well get comfortable. She leaned onto the shopping cart as they moved through the aisles looking at the various clothing items.
Eventually, they made it back to the maternity rack and Chloe rolled up one side of the maternity rack as Aubrey came up the other, stopping across from her.
"What about these? They look pretty normal." Aubrey grinned, holding up a pair of elastic band khakis for Chloe to see.
If it wasn't for the dangling tie-strings, Chloe would think they were actual pants. She smiled and nodded, impressed that they actually found something she could work with. Most of the clothes they'd seen in the other stores either looked like bed sheets or they just SCREAMED "pregnant".
Chloe shot up from the cart, eyes flashing excitedly as she remembered something. "I've got another appointment with Dr. Bryant coming up next week."
"Already?" Aubrey asked. It seemed like just yesterday that Chloe informed her she was pregnant.
Chloe nodded, excited but also a little terrified. She wanted to cherish every moment of her pregnancy, but it seemed to be flying by. "If all goes well, we should be able to find out the sex." She smiled at the thought, her eyes scanning the rack before landing on a cute flannel shirt. She could work with that too. She picked it up and tossed it into the cart.
"So…I'm assuming the fact that we're shopping for maternity clothes and the fact that you're about to find out the sex of the baby means you've told Beca?" Aubrey asked pointedly. Her eyes flicked up to meet Chloe's before falling back to a pair of jeans she removed from the rack to get a closer look.
"Well, actually…no," Chloe admitted, sheepishly. "But, I've made up my mind that I'm telling her tonight. For the past few days, I have been ACTIVELY trying to tell her, but someone would call… or one of us would fall asleep early… it's been frustrating. I've made up my mind though. Nothing is going to stop me tonight."
"Good to know," Aubrey smiled, pleased with her friend's determination. With another look at the jeans, she returned them to the rack, finding some weird fading at the bottom. "Believe it or not…I actually consider her a friend too. I feel awful for keeping all of this from her, especially after seeing how broken up she was when..."
Chloe nodded, not needing Aubrey to finish the thought. She remembered it too. She never realized just how much Beca wanted children until she saw her break down in the doctor's office after her second failed attempt…
With that memory, Chloe was even more determined.
When Chloe stepped into their home that night, she was surprised to find Beca setting the dining room table. She was wearing an apron and her hair was pulled up into that messy bun Chloe loved so much. She smiled fondly, admiring her wife as she moved between the kitchen and the dining room, appearing with more and more dishes of food to set on the table.
She was covered with a thin layer of sweat from standing over the stove and the apron was lightly dusted with flour and spices. It also helped that she was wearing one of her loose tanktops, providing Chloe with a nice tease of cleavage and side boob.
Chloe shook her head to clear the inappropriate thoughts that followed. These pregnancy hormones were making her worse than a dog in heat.
Looking more closely at the brunette, Chloe could see tears forming in steely-blue eyes. "What's going on?"
"We're going to talk," Beca explained, not unkindly. However, Chloe did notice that her voice seemed a bit…fragile.
"Beca-,"
"We're going to talk when we finish, but right now I want to make sure you and the-," Beca took a breath to compose herself as she wiped her hands on the apron. "Right now I just want to make sure you're fed." She finished, smiling diplomatically.
Chloe panicked as she noticed Beca's correction. What was she going to say the first time? Did she know? How long had she known?
Chloe was brought out of her thoughts by the feeling of Beca's hand on her back, leading her to the table. Beca pulled the chair out for the her, then began to stir the Chicken Penne in the pot, spooning the pasta onto her and Chloe's plates.
"Thank you," Chloe smiled through her nerves
Beca nodded stiffly.
The two dug into their meals, eating in silence for a few moments until Beca spoke.
"How was your day?" She asked, setting her fork down onto the empty plate before reaching across the table to grab a dinner roll from the basket.
Chloe hesitated, noticing the sharpness of her wife's movements.
She knew…
She had to.
"It was…okay. I walked around the mall with Aubrey."
"Oh? How'd THAT go? Did you get anything?"
Chloe finished her mouthful, raising a hand to cover her mouth as she spoke. "Just a few pants and some shirts. How was your day?" Chloe asked, desperate to change the subject.
"We'll talk about that soon. It certainly was… 'interesting', though. I'll say that," Beca finished her roll, then chugged the last of her water.
"Okay," Chloe took a breath, bracing for what was to come. "What's going on?"
"A lot, actually…" Beca started, her steely-blue eyes glossy as she watched Chloe. "I decided to take a nap earlier, you know…since I'm lazy and that's how I spend my days off. Then something pretty cool happened. Not only did I NOT have another nightmare, I actually had a GOOD dream. I dreamed that we were sitting on a bench. We were at a playground and there were kids running all around us…climbing…chasing…playing in the sand... At first, I didn't know what was happening. Then, two little ones came running towards us. A boy and a girl. They had your eyes. They had your smile…your everything. And I realized they were ours…. Well, when I woke up, I knew I had to write it down. This was progress."
Beca paused. Chloe felt her stomach drop. She knew where this was going.
"For some reason, I couldn't find my journal. It wasn't where I left it. I pretty much turned this house inside out looking for it, but I just couldn't find it... until I decided to check the drawer of YOUR nightstand and there it was."
Chloe swallowed. There was no denying that she took it. She skimmed through it when Beca went out for a jog. She meant to put it back, but the time seemed to fly and before she knew it, Beca was opening the door to the bedroom in all her post-workout glory. Chloe didn't have time to put it back. She was on her side of the bed. Going to Beca's side would make it obvious. She just threw it into her drawer before Beca got a chance to register her surroundings.
"Baby," Chloe started, her lip trembling slightly. She knew she was wrong. She should have waited like Beca asked. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have invaded your privacy, but I just had to know…you NEVER told me what happened in Afghanistan. You just came home and you were like…a SHELL of yourself."
"Because NOTHING good happened over there!" Beca's voice raised and Chloe flinched. "That's ALL you need to know now, Chloe. I would have eventually filled you in. I just needed you to be patient. That's all I asked. I didn't say never. I said LATER."
"I know…and I'm sorry,," Chloe sighed. "I just miss how things used to be with us. We shared EVERYTHING with each other. We didn't have secrets."
"Really, Chlo? You're going to say that now? This isn't even really about the journal…this is about the pictures I saw under the journal."
…OH.
Chloe felt the blood drain out of her cheeks. Now she remembered. She remembered switching purses and tossing the pictures into the drawer for safe-keeping.
"Whose ultrasounds were those?" Beca asked, obviously knowing the answer.
"Beca…I was going to tell you…"
Beca shook her head in disbelief, wiping at the single tear that escaped. "Were you? It looks like you were trying to hide it."
"For a while, yes…I was trying to hide it," Chloe explained, standing from her seat and moving around the table to get to Beca. She took Beca's hands, panicking when she felt them tense. She feared Beca would pull away, but she didn't. Chloe breathed easier with this realization. She knew that wouldn't have been a good sign.
"I know now that I wasn't hiding my pregnancy for the reasons I thought I was hiding it. Part of me was hiding it because I wanted to protect you, but part of me was really hiding it because I was scared."
Beca frowned in confusion, her heart breaking slightly as she heard the crack in Chloe's voice.
"Why were you scared?" Beca asked, her voice softer this time. "I'm right here. I've always been right here."
"Physically, yes." Chloe argued. "But, for a while…you were just so… distant and …INTENSE. There were nights that I'd hear you crying in your sleep and I worried that you'd snap if I asked about it. You seemed unhappy and I worried that you changed your mind. That being with me and starting a family wasn't what you wanted anymore…that you'd leave if you found out."
Beca nodded, knowing Chloe had a point. There were so many emotions and so many questions, but what Beca felt the most in this moment was guilt. She couldn't pin this all on Chloe. Even Beca knew she wasn't completely herself before she started therapy. She was angry, anxious, and depressed. ALL THE TIME. It made Chloe uncomfortable. It made her feel like she was walking on eggshells… Like she had to keep something like this to herself…
After a while, Beca slid her hands free from Chloe's, reaching up to wipe away the redhead's tears. "I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to deal with this alone... but now you don't have to." Beca closed her eyes as she felt Chloe's arms wrap around her, pulling her into a hug.
"I know," Chloe smiled, sniffling away the tears as she just enjoyed the embrace.
"We're a team. You're Sonic and I'm Tails," Beca joked, wrapping her arms around Chloe as she planted a kiss to the top of her head. "No more secrets."
"No more secrets," Chloe agreed.
