Thank you for the lovely reviews, my friends!

I suggest you listen to "Into Eternity" from Thor Dark world soundtrack, it suits well to this chapter and will add more feelings. I almost cried as I wrote this.


oOo

Chapter 8 - Escaping the grief

"Loki, stop that!"

But Loki didn't, it only caused him to push further into the darkness, off the ledge.

Loki knew it was useless to reach whatever he was trying to reach for, but he didn't want to bother his brother. And to think, that this only made it worse, made Loki feel horrible deep inside. Instead of proving he was capable on his own, he just proved how much he still wasn't in any condition to be alone.

"Just a little further."

And Loki hated it.

He hated how they cuddle him and think him like a child.

"Hold on. I just wanted- Ah!"

The moment Loki's hand slipped from the edge, he knew he was in trouble. And he knew that the lecture he would soon get, was nothing but inescapable. He hated it, he hated himself and he hated people. There was a reason he stayed in his room, and another reason why he ignored everyone else.

This was one of them and he hated his predicament, his supposed present life.

"Loki!"

Thor's scream only intensified his despair.

Loki knew that he was about to fall.

But it never came.

Loki was immediately pulled back by a large pair of arms that wrapped around his waist. He felt the cold hard ledge slip from under him as he and Thor tumbled to the ground. Thor angrily pushed his brother away and into a sitting position.

Thor grabbed both Loki's hands and shook him.

"What were you thinking!?" He shouted. "Are you insane?!"

Loki felt his heart split into two as he stared at those piercing blue eyes, penetrating into his soul. Thor didn't mean his words, and Loki knew this, mostly because his brother was always quick to let out his anger.

To reach into his rage and spew it about.

To any one.

"I'm... I did not-" Loki tried his best to convince himself that Thor had a slip of the tongue.

"You fool! You uncaring fool." Thor cried out in worry. "You don't listen, do you?"

"I'm sorry." Loki mumbled weakly. "I did not mean to scare you."

"Did not mean-" Thor sighed, letting go of Loki's wrists. "What was so important that you needed to lean so close to the ledge?"

"I was getting ready for the funeral." Loki shrugged.

Loki stared at Thor, who did his best to stay calm. Thor's heart was pounding, his breathing completely erratic and Thor knew that his hands were trembling. He could only take so much. Frigga's death was far too much of a burden already, losing Loki would cause him great grief and distress.

And Thor did not want that to happen.

He was so shaken at the thought, that he momentarily forgotten that Loki was even in front of him. When he snapped out of his thoughts, Loki was leaning dangerously close to his face, poking his forehead.

"Are you sure you are not the one that needs tending to, brother?" Loki asked.

Thor wasn't sure if it was in mockery.

"You fool." Thor mumbled, angrily. "You ungrateful little brat of a brother."

"I told you, I was getting ready for the funeral." Loki retorted, slightly annoyed.

"What, by adding another funeral afterwards with your name on it?"

"Look, I didn't mean to fall." Loki defended as he stood up. "I'm sorry."

"You-" Thor stood up as well, cutting his words.

Arguing with Loki in such a state would be ill-wised and distressing. He stared into Loki's green eyes, and saw the confusion and thoughts probably swirling inside of his brother's head.

Thor made vows to himself and he loves Loki with all of his heart.

But continuing to do that, was making Thor's life hectic, and it was getting harder and harder to do so in each passing day. He'd gone through the year to helping his brother, but he knew he couldn't last long.

A year was enough.

What happens when it continues on for a thousand?

Thor knew he was bound to snap at some point. Given that it had only been a year with Loki's condition, he was already having so much trouble with it. And Thor was already beginning to question his worthiness again. If he couldn't bring himself to care for Loki for so long, what use would caring for the entire realm, be?

"What was so important that you had to risk your life to get it?" Thor asked.

Loki scowled at him, and was very unsure.

"I told you, I was preparing for the funeral. I might as well pay my respects now than hoping one day, if I truly die, they might do the same."

"Don't speak like that." Thor commanded.

"You are making it harder not to." Loki huffed.

"Say I believe you, what was it?" Thor raised his eyebrow when Loki pointed below.

Thor strode forward and looked down from one of the ledges. He saw the next floor down, on one of the bridges connecting to the next side of the palace, was an orb.

"I wanted to join in their mourning." Loki mumbled. "You would not pry me of that, would you?"

"No." Thor turned to him sadly. "But, why?"

"What do you mean why? Why not?"

"No, what I meant was, what makes you think you can reach it from here?" Thor explained.

"What makes you think I can't?" Loki retaliated.

"It's a long way down brother, it's at the side of the bridge close to the edge, almost down a few floors."

"I had to try." Loki looked down. "I was only able to get one. And I have yet to ask for another. What would they think, that I was playing with the damn thing?"

"They wouldn't question you."

"But they would assume the worse and I do not want that."

"You are a Prince-"

"With a feeble and fragile mind that people could laugh at and tower. Sentiments are appreciated, brother but they are not necessary in all of our conversations. You make it sound like I am ill."

"You are ill." Thor hummed.

"You are cruel." Loki glared. "Heartless in words, stupid, ignorant-"

"If something similar as this happens again, don't do whatever you did earlier." Thor raised his voice. "If I am heartless, I wouldn't have saved you."

"Fine, but would you be kind enough to get the orb for me?"

"I know you wish to mourn, but this is hardly necessary." Thor felt his hands trembling again. "You could mourn at any time."

"What better way than to make my mourning known than a glowing orb?" Loki smiled at his brother. "I might as well do something in kind for those who defended their people in exchanged for their lives."

Thor looked at Loki.

Loki was dressed in a green tunic larger than his size, as it hung past his waist as it was buckled by a brown leather belt and clasped under were black pants. Loki's feet were bare, and the coldness of the wind didn't seem to bother Loki as much as it did to Thor.

Thor was only wearing a sleeveless armor, his cape disregarded.

Thor felt his skin shiver at the breeze.

He had decided.

"Don't move." Thor leaped from the balcony to retrieve the orb.

"Careful, brother." Loki watched him.

Thor looked at the bright object, flickering on the stone floor at the side of the bridge, ready to fall. He managed to hold it and the pain settled in his heart again, he could almost hear Frigga's voice inside his head.

"Mother..." Thor bit his lips, tears in his eyes.

The memory of Frigga came to him.

Her image, bright and happy along with her warm touch, as well as her sweet and elegant voice, haunted him to no end. Thor could remember her saying something to him, a year ago, after Loki's trial. She was telling him things that he should have remembered.

Do not relive them in your head, child. For they may only cause you misery.

Scolding him, was what she did.

You must rest and care for your brother.

Teaching him to love.

Empty your mind, it would be no use to you if you keep thinking it.

Protecting him.

Trust him, Thor. You must trust your brother and give him more credit. Just believe in him for once, my son. And you will see the result.

And above all... Loving him.. and Loki for who they were.

Thor felt himself tear in two as he struggled to keep himself composed. He loved her, and loved her too much. He may not have been the child that always stuck with her, but he loved her. Loki was the one that was always close to her, she was the one that taught him tricks, while Thor let himself be taught by Odin.

It was painful.

"It is not too late." Thor thought, debating on the issue that was running inside his head. "Perhaps he deserves to know. Why shield him from the truth?"

Thor held the glowing orb in his hands, they were warm and glowing. So bright and so fulfilling, and yet it was full of grief and despair that Thor didn't think he could hold onto it much longer.

The breeze picked up again, sending him shivers.

Thor looked up at his brother, who was patiently waiting above with a bored expression on his face. His raven hair flowing softly through the wind.

Say it before it's too late.

"What is keeping you, Thor?" Loki asked with a smirk on his face. "One might think you have a worse condition than mine."

Thor scoffed at the idea, as he raised his hammer, soaring high as he landed on the balcony. Loki snatched the glowing orb from him and eased himself at the railings.

"You are welcome." Thor mumbled.

"It's sad isn't it?" Loki whispered. "So many have fallen because of the dark elves."

"Why do you sound so affected by the people you do not know?" Thor wondered, his voice betraying him of any sincerity.

"Why aren't you paying your respects to them, as I am?" Loki retorted.

"We've been through grieving such as these."

"This seems different." Loki stared at the funeral taking place by the sea. "And I somewhat know what it is like to be in their position."

"You mean that in death."

"At least close to death as one may offer. Death has been kind to me and I accept whatever life I am offered, but given circumstances, I can hardly complain."

"The letters." Thor wondered instantly. "What were they?"

"Thoughts."

"Of what exactly? They're not inviting and pleasing." Loki shrugged at him. "I know you as a poet at heart, but the letters are far from-"

"What business have you of reading them, Thor? I write whatever comes to my mind, hoping to think about them for a while longer before I could come up with a suitable solution. Something that I haven't even succeeded in. I will burn the letters later, they mean little as time passes by."

"They aren't your thoughts alone-"

"Leave it be, brother." Loki tiredly answered. "Let us just.. savor the moment."

Thor didn't bother to answer, as he stood by Loki's side, watching.

They stood by the railing, waiting and watching the sea on the other end. There were dimly lit lights and dark objects floating above the water, which were most likely the funeral boats. It was as if the Norns were singing a heartfelt song, humming as the gentle breeze swayed them.

Thor and Loki watched as the first ship was sailed to set and an arrow flew high, dropping into the giant ship, setting it on fire.

"They've lit the funeral pyre." Loki mumbled.

They could both see the view, the first ship had sailed to where the water ends.

Thor watched hesitantly, trying his best to hide his grief. The view made it a little hard to distinguish the size and design of the ship, and it eased Thor's mind a little to know that Loki won't be able to tell.

But his hope was easily diminished.

"Who is that?" Loki asked and pointed, unable to see much. "It doesn't look like the others."

Frigga's Funeral ship.

"Someone very important." Thor muttered, as they watched all of the other boats lit on fire.

Loki didn't bother to answer back.

"It's begun."

Loki stared as the orbs began to float above Asgard and the ships fall into space as the fire diminishes and breaks into a soft elegant burst of light, making its way up into the stars. It was breath-taking, and mesmerizing as much as it was hurtful and despair filled.

Loki felt Thor's hand tighten on his, unable to tell when Thor had held it but the sense of security was there. Loki lifted the orb as it glowed, separately from the rest of them, knowing that they too grieve.

Thor's hand never let go of Loki's.

Loki didn't address Thor's soft sobs next to him, or his brother's trembling hand. Something must have happened, but Loki knew he was in no position to question it. Even if he did have the privilege to do so as the younger brother, it would be too personal.

Perhaps if Thor was strong enough, he'd tell Loki one day.

And Loki would listen.

"I'm sorry..." Thor cursed himself. "I am so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Loki turned to him a little, and embraced his brother arm as they watched the lights dance around each other before disappearing to the dark starry skies.

"You... do not understand."

"And if I don't?" Loki questioned. "Will you blame me for it?"

"Never."

Thor embraced his brother back, as he stared at the starry night filled with bright glows.

Mother would be in Valhalla.

"When will Mother and the All-father return?" Loki whispered. "I haven't seen them since-"

"When it is over." Thor swallowed his pain.

"I'm sure they feel the people's pain."

"Maybe... it is time we retire for bed, Loki."

"I'm not old, nor am I a cripple." Loki mumbled as he tugged at Thor's hand as he led them back into the room. They didn't bother to close the curtains, because it was easier to watch the orbs floating in the sky. It was a great reminder that they were not gods.

They live, they wither, and they die.

When they entered the room, Loki picked up the papers on the night stand, thankful that Thor had picked them up. It had saved him the trouble and time from bending over and reaching out.

Loki took one last look at them and headed to the fire place at the corner side of the bed, near the entrance to the balcony.

Loki tossed them into the fire as Thor watched him from the side.

"We both need to rest." Loki climbed on top of the bed and made room for his brother.

"I shouldn't." Thor muttered tiredly. "Perhaps, I should go."

"Give me a good reason for you to." Loki buried himself on the pillow, feeling just as exhausted.

"I don't need to explain to you."

"I've seen your tears, and I share your grief. Whatever it is."

"That is-"

"Spare me more excuses, brother." Loki closed his eyes. "It would save you the trouble..."

Thor sighed in defeat.

Thor's heart skipped a beat, as he shed off the remaining armor and slid in the covers without a word. His back facing away from the balcony. He did not want to watch the glowing orbs anymore. For the night, he just wanted to forget that their mother was dead.

He stared at Loki, who had already fallen asleep. Loki looked so different from the person he knew his brother was.

Loki would soon get better.

"I'm so sorry, Loki." Thor mumbled.

His voice did not bother Loki's already sleeping form. Loki looked pale from the moonlit glaze of the outside world, so calm and so untouchable. Thor watched, muttering sorry again and again, as Loki was dead to the world.

Fast asleep in bliss.


oOo

Thor willed himself to sleep but the thoughts kept entering his mind. Malekith was out there somewhere, waiting and probably healing from the wound he was given. There were still a few more days left before the convergence, and they were lucky that there were still days left to begin with.

If Malekith had shown up on the day of the convergence with the Aether...

All might have been lost.

And the worlds would have succumb into the darkness once more.

For now, they were simply lucky.

Thor fisted the sheets, as he watched Loki's steady breathing lift the sheets gently from where he lay. He would go to Odin first thing in the morning and convince him about drawing Malekith and the Aether away form Asgard. If there were some way to prevent war from Asgard again, as well as the grieving of the deaths of many people, Thor would do so in a heart beat.

He couldn't take much more of the destruction.

Thor wondered about Jane and her condition. She was getting weaker and weaker by the minute she has the Aether inside of her. Truth be told that Thor did not want to lose Jane, but he found it in his heart to admit it to himself.

He would rather lose her...

...than lose his brother...

Thor found the bravery of thinking of it.

But if there was a way to prevent the death of his lover, he would do so and he would not care whatever means it was as long as he will be able to save Jane. Tomorrow, Thor would do everything tomorrow. And he should stop thinking, because it would only tire him out even more.

He had to stop.

But there was Loki, and his father, and Jane and the Aether and Malekith-

Thor rubbed at his face as he heard his mother's voice haunting him.

Empty your mind, it would be no use to you if you keep thinking it.

Thor closed his eyes, and a moment later...

He fell asleep.


oOo

TBC...

Tell me what you think Thor's actions should be...

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