8. What We Leave Behind
We walked into the house, my arms still crossed. The entire clan was staring at me. "What?" I demanded.
Alice ran and wrapped her arms around me. "You're okay! When I couldn't see you anymore—"
"Couldn't see?" I asked, stepping away from her. "You've been watching me?" They all tensed. "How much trouble am I in?"
Bree," Mr. Cullen said softly, "You're not in a lot of trouble, but I don't think we will be letting you out of the house for a few days."
"So?" I ventured. "I'm grounded?"
"For lack of a better word, yes."
"I think I can handle that," I replied simply.
Turns out that sitting around my new room was boring as watching a TV pastor. I hadn't been that bored since Mr. Stephan's first semester freshman bio class. I dropped it. Of course, I couldn't drop being a vampire or part of this stupid coven. And to think I was only three days into my punishment.
I wanted to kick something, but everything in the room looked pricey. "UGH!" I threw the lamp. It was probably the only thing in the room that I could afford to replace. It would have taken a year of my human allowance, but I would have done it.
"What happened to being able to handle it?" Jasper asked catching it just before it hit the ground.
"It's the lamp or your brother's girlfriend."
"There's another way to get your frustration out," he replied gently, grabbing a pillow off the useless bed. "Sit down."
I crossed my arms. "How is a pillow supposed to help me get my frustrations out? If I punch it, feathers will get everywhere."
"Well, ma'am, funny you should ask."
"Ma'am?" I interrupted. Nobody had ever spoken to me like before. "Dude, I'm fourteen."
"My apologizes. It's an old habit. Perhaps I should call you miss?"
"I think I liked better when you called me Breanne." I took the pillow from him.
He took it back. "Take the pillow without touching it or me."
That was absurd. "What is this, a karate movie?"
He looked totally clueless. "Just move the pillow Breanne."
"That little throwing you thing was a fluke."
"What about Carlisle and Edward?"
Jasper was trying to convince me I had extra powers. I rolled my eyes. "I pushed Mr. C and knocked him into Edward. So what?"
"Move the pillow," he repeated.
"No." I was not going to do what he said. I was not a child who was going to do whatever she was told.
"Fine," he said. "You are just frightened."
"I'm not a chicken, dude. That doesn't work with me. Try again." He was trying to make me angry. "I have more self-control then that. Plus, this room doesn't smell like her."
"Every Newborn—no, vampire—has something in their past that enrages them. Something that they wish they hadn't had to leave behind."
I felt myself smirk. He, unwittingly, gave me leverage. "What's yours?"
"Oh no, you don't. I'm here to talk about you, not me."
"You brought it up." I thought. "It's a girl, isn't it?"
"I'm married to Alice."
That surprised me a little, but I kept taunting him. "I can tell you're from a different time. Like a different century. I'm sure, whoever she was, she's long dead."
Jasper was glaring at me. I had hit a nerve. There was someone else. "Now's not the time to discuss—"
Before he could finish lecturing me, I asked, "Does Alice know?"
He snorted. "Quit trying to change the subject. We're talking about your problems. What makes you angry?"
I was going to get him to admit something eventually. "People not answering my questions."
"What else?"
"People asking questions."
"And?"
Dang! You win this round, Jasper, but I will get you say her name. Even if it takes me a few decades. "Expectations."
"Expectations?" He put the pillow down. "What sort of expectations?"
This was getting ridiculous. "What are you? A shrink?"
"Physiology ones one of my majors about a decade ago."
Great. No privacy. Why didn't I let that big guy kill me again? "Has anyone told you prying is impolite?"
"You're hiding something. I'll make a note of that."
"You are too," I retorted harshly. "It's a two way street."
"I'll tell you if you go first."
I held my pinky out. "Pinky swear?"
"Pardon?"
"Okay," I said slowly. Of course he doesn't know what it means. He's way older then my great-grandfather. "Do you know what a handshake is at least?"
He took my hand and we shook. "Will you tell what you remember from your human life?"
"Now I will." I sat down. "I turned fourteen in April. I was a freshman. I skipped sixth grade. Momma and Daddy never actually got married, but my mom married a guy named Tommy five years ago. When he got arrested about a year ago, I moved in with my dad. Not because I wanted to, but because some judge said I had to. They thought Tommy did something to me, but I wouldn't tell them, because nothing happened. I just didn't like him."
Jasper's face showed disbelief, but he calmly said, "What happened with your father?"
"Daddy wasn't my biggest fan, to put it simply."
"I do not mind a more complicated explanation."
"I don't want to give a more complicated explanation," I replied softly. "I want to leave it at that." I had absentmindedly wrapped my arms around my knees, a very human reaction to the emotional pain I was feeling. "But there is something else."
"Do tell."
I inhaled slowly. "I had a crush on a boy named Logan. I had barely gotten him to acknowledge my existence when Riley—and Victoria—found me."
He nodded, "I understand, Bree. Her name was Elizabeth. She was my younger sister. I don't remember her clearly."
I leaned in. "Why? If you don't mind me asking, that is."
"I last saw her in 1861. I was still human."
"Oh." Embarrassing. That might be a bit mean of me. "Okay, dude, I'm done prying." I felt guilty about it. The memory didn't seem to hurt him, but I'd probably never shake Logan from my mind.
Jasper finally sat down on the desk chair. "Bree, you don't have to deal with the pain alone anymore. We are your family now."
I glared at him. "Don't use that word." I paused. "Please."
He didn't speak, but a look of pleasant surprise crossed his face. I looked down, and saw that the pillow was floating several inches off his hands. I blinked and it fell to the ground.
"See," he said, after a shocked, silent second. "All it takes is concentration."
I blinked again, this time holding back imaginary tears. I'm a freak, even as a vampire. I'm surprised he hasn't run away from me yet. I naturally repel most people. I felt a silent sob rip through by chest and I started shaking. This can't be happening to me. I got up and starting walking out of the room. No one can love this.
I was looking right at someone's torso. It pushed me back into the room. "Jasper, what happened here?"
Another sob ripped through my chest. I whimpered a little. Oh god. Oh god. I'm losing it. "She moved something. It frightened her."
I looked away from Mr. Cullen's torso. Blushing, of course, wasn't possible, but I didn't want him to see my face. I was ashamed and shaking. Don't kill me. Don't kill me. Don't kill me. Then, I looked up. I could smell the human. It was stronger then when it was on Edward. I gulped, trying to stop the burning sensation in the back of my throat. She's here to tell them to kill me! I thought in horror.
I felt Jasper grab my shoulders, restraining me. "Can Bella not take a suggestion?"
Mr. Cullen sighed. "She insisted on seeing Bree. To ease some of the fears."
"Whose fears?" Jasper wrapped an arm across my body. "Hers or Bree's?"
"Bree's."
The smell was getting more intense. My eyes lost their ability to focus and I wailed. Stop the pain. Stop the thirst. Stop the burning. Attack.
NO, BREE! The other side of me screamed. They've too much to help you. Don't disappoint them. The door slammed shut and locked on its own accord. There. Now we can't go anywhere.
"Did she just do that?" Mr. Cullen asked Jasper softly.
My mind drowned out the response. NO! We need to stop the thirst! We need to hunt! I snarled at Jasper and his restraining arm. He wrapped his arm around the other. "Relax, Breanne," he whispered. "It is alright. We won't let you hurt her."
I whimpered and turned into his restraining embrace, wrapping my arms around him. "Make it stop, Jasper!" I wailed. "It hurts!"
"Hush," he whispered gently, petting the back of head. "I know. I am not going to leave you. I promise."
Even the logical side of my mind didn't believe him. Everyone who has made that promise has broken it. Don't trust him. Despite my thoughts, I felt myself calming. The emotion was like being wrapped in a warm blanket. Soothing but still restrictive. I leaned against him, burying my nose in the fabric of his shirt. It blocked the human's scent enough that the burning became a dull ache.
"I think we have control," Jasper told Mr. Cullen. "But keep Bella at a distance."
