Chapter 8
Was I too close for comfort?
You pushing me out,
When I wanted in?
-McFly, "Too Close For Comfort"
"Get in late last night?" Luke asked Jess the next morning as they opened for the breakfast crowd. Luke knew the answer, having not been able to get to sleep and hearing Jess come in around three.
Jess gave his uncle a look, but didn't answer before walked off to deal with some customers. Luke guessed Jess was still pissed at him about last night…And Jess's mind seemed to be somewhere else. He kept looking up at the door as though expecting someone, and Luke could guess who.
But she didn't come. The hour came and went, so did the next.
"On break," said Jess shortly, tossing down a dish towel and going up to the apartment without another word when the traditional mid morning lull commenced.
Jess lounged on the couch, trying to read a book to get his mind off anything, one of his many defense mechanisms that became habit a long time ago in his childhood.
It didn't work. Jess tossed the book lightly away and leaned his head back, staring up at the ceiling, thinking. After a moment he shook his head and retrieved his cell phone and dialed in a familiar number.
"Hey…"
Meanwhile, Luke was downstairs, manning the diner by himself. He sat absentmindedly behind the counter for there wasn't much to do. The only costumer was Kirk sitting by himself at a table in the center of the diner with remains of a breakfast before him, drinking coffee, totally mooching off of the re-fill policy. Luke ignored him, but hey, what else was new.
But the more Luke thought about it, the more it scared him. Kirk was just sitting their, like so many days before. Like nothing was wrong, nothing was different. It surprised Luke that so much. Everything in his life had been changed in a second…., but the world was still the same. Star's Hollow, despite how empty it seemed to him now, still functioned. Without Lorelai, life still moved on. He couldn't quite understand it, but it did.
And that was a scary thought.
It was the early afternoon. Rory turned on her phone as she exited class and was immediately met with the annoying beep that told her she had voicemail. Her first instinct was to ignore it, which she had gotten into the habit of ignoring the phone over the last week or so. After a moment of consideration though she decided it might be something into and made her way to the corner of the Yale courtyard and hit the play button, holding her phone to her ear.
"Hey Rory, it's your father," began the first message. "You haven't returned any of my calls and I'm worried about you. Seriously, if you need anything, call me. If you need extra cash or…or if you want to talk… Well, I'm here. Bye."
Rory felt a little guilty for blowing off her dad lately, knowing this loss was hard on him too. Yet, they already had not the greatest relationship and she did not have the nerve or the will to test that at the moment. Plus, there were very few people that she could connect with right now.
"Ace, it's me," Rory was met with Logan's voice as the second message played. "I guess I missed you. The time difference and this work and meetings over here are throwing me a bit. Caught you next time. Love you."
Rory recalled how terrible and useless she felt the days leading up to Logan leaving. That was nothing compared to how terrible and useless she felt after her mom died. Rory could imagine what if her mother never got in the accident and how Rory would have loved every minute that she had with Logan on the phone. That world seemed so distant from her now. It seemed so unreal. She wished he could be here for her. Do something for her, but he couldn't.
The next message was not one she expected and the voice did make her heart skip a beat, "Hey Rory, it's Jess, if you hadn't figured it out from my voice already, but…to the point,…not that I called you for a point, but anyway. You didn't show up at the diner this morning and I was just, you know, worried… or something. Okay, see you later."
Rory grinned a small grin at Jess's message and the rambling incompletlessness. It was probably the most sincere of the voicemail because he wasn't trying to act like he had it all together like the others had.
Last night, she hadn't known what had come over her. Sometimes she convinced herself it was just a way to say thank you, but sometimes she really thought it was something more. Either way, Jess had become important to her lately. He was the only one who could help her on her feet. That realization though made Rory feel anxious.
She deleted the three messages, though she hesitated before deleting the third.
She drove back to Stars Hollow that evening. When she pulled into the driveway and got out of a car she was surprised to see someone waiting for her. Jess stood up from where he was sitting on the front porch steps, hands in his jacket pockets.
"Hey," he said as she approached.
"Hi, Jess…What are you doing here?"
"Well, you didn't show up at the diner today or answer my call. I came over to check on you."
"Well, you didn't have to. I'm fine," said Rory. Her tone was too casual, too laid back, too cheerful. She went past Jess and unlocked the door and walked in the house. He followed her into her room.
"What are you doing?" asked Jess as he watched Rory scurry around her room collecting this and that.
"I needed to pick up some things," answered Rory, never even looking at him as she slide a stack of folders off of her desk into her bag.
"For what?"
"Classes and the paper. I swear, I'm gone two weeks and everyone turns into chickens running around with their heads cut off. It is such a mess. I have so much to do."
"Where are you going?" inquired Jess as Rory brushed lightly past him out of her bedroom.
"Paris is letting me stay over. I have an early day tomorrow."
"Okay," said Jess, unsure.
"I have really got to get going. Places to be, things to do…Lock up for me will you?" Rory said hurriedly as she went out the door.
"Sure," the door banged shut before Jess could finished, "Thing." He heard Rory's car start and pull out onto the road. She had just totally blown him off. She hadn't been mean about it or anything, but she did.
I was all wrong though. The last few days, Rory had used Jess for support, but now she was pretending he didn't exist. She was pushed him out. Something had changed. Jess knew it.
Aki- Just wait. I am going somewhere with this all.
