Chapter 7 Goodnight Nimbus
Expecting Tomoko to be right behind him it was surprising to see Jushiro. 'Renji,' Kira thought, 'that asshole scaring me for no reason!' A smug smirk spread across Renji's face as Kira's face held a glare.
"Hey Izuru," Jushiro patted Kira on the shoulder in a friendly gesture. "Matsuyama is your captain now isn't she?" Jushiro smiled but Kira sighed.
'I can't be mad at Jushiro,' he told himself. But he knew he had some right to be mad at Renji. He turned to Jushiro and was met with a uneasy expression on his face.
"Yeah," he answered, softening his demeanor to the kind captain. "She's my captain now."
Jushiro's face brightened. "Ah, that's great. Can I ask you a favor Izuru?" He smiled some more, disarming Kira of his ability to say no.
"If you want me to, sure." Kira was ready to leave. Just a few drinks and he wasn't in such a shape to really tussle with the drunker crowd.
"Could you escort me to my squad barracks? I know you have some healing skills and I drank a little tonight because of Shunsui. I just want to make sure I don't have too bad of an episode tonight." He scratched the back of his head out of habit when he felt like he was asking for a big favor.
"Oh, of course that won't be too bad." Kira nodded and returned a small smile to assure Jushiro that it would be okay. "Let's go shall we?" Kira stood up and nodded a goodbye to Renji and Shuuhei. They left the tavern into the brisk night.
Renji watched and looked to Shuuhei. "So, what's up with you?" He raised his eyebrow in anticipation.
"Do you think light feels anything?" Shuuhei said, drowsily.
"What?"
"Light…" Shuuhei paused, searching for the right definition. "You know, light." Shuhhei looked at Renji with a face that told Renji he was stupid if he didn't know.
Renji replied with his own, trying to communicate that saying the word as it's definition was not enough to say what it is. He gave in, saying, "Sure."
"Well, if a light is turned off, do you think it would be scary?" Shuuhei looked back at the fixture. He fixated his eyes solemnly and pensive.
'For a drunk guy, he sure puts on a good face.' Renji took another sip and looked to the fixture himself, not really processing the question. It took him a second to understand what he meant, but Renji once he did, he looked at Shuuhei annoyed. "You asking me if I'm scared of the dark?"
"Isn't everyone?"
*In the Squad 11 Area*
Tomoko was trying to make up for being late by walking faster. Her jinzen session had gone a little longer than she anticipated but she was ready to go see Kira. If she was being honest to herself, she just wanted to give him another chance. She wanted to give their relationship a fresh start.
Tomoko saw a couple of women. A couple of very nice looking women, walk into the tavern. She stopped. The words popped into her head. Drinking party. Party. She looked herself over. She had left the captain's haori in her room feeling she didn't want to get it dirty. But now, it may have been a piece of clothing that she would've risked. Just because she didn't want to appear a wall flower. 'Maybe, it's not the right time for him to see me,' she reasoned. Still she walked towards the tavern, now in plain sight.
She looked at the front of the tavern and stood before the door. She did what she thought was the best plan of action, she hid. She leaned against the shadowed wall of the tavern, away from the windows and the entrance. She began to realize, she shouldn't of come. Her zanpakuto was in her room also, and when she attempted to hold the hilt in comfort, she found another reason to find disappointment. She sighed. The warmth of the tavern was forgotten as she felt alone in the alley of the tavern.
"Hey, Captain Matsuyama, is that you?" Renji caught sight of the shadowed figure and had recognized Tomoko by the red ribbon in her hair. She stood up straight in reply to her discovery and stepped forward in the moonlight. Renji blinked as he saw the moonlight illuminate her features. Her blue eyes shot through him with such clarity. He was dumbfounded.
'It's Renji,' she realized. "Oh, hello Lieutenant Abarai. Is Lieutenant Izuru with you by chance?" She looked at him and her lips parted slightly from her words.
Renji, who was intoxicated just enough to lose handle on his focus, looked at those lips and wondered something to himself. He saw her face change into confusion.
"Lieutenant Abarai?"
Renji woke up from his train of thought and smiled at the captain. "He was." He stopped and looked to the other direction of the road for signs of the two. "But he's heading to the Squad 13 barracks escorting Captain Ukitake." He looked back at Tomoko, and saw her profile as she looked at the direction he was just scanning. Her eyes met his with a jolt of alertness. Renji was sure she could tell he was drunk, but he wanted to try and cover that up best he could.
"Oh, I see." Tomoko kept searching for some signs of a lie in Renji's face, but found none. Clasping her hands over the other, she took some comfort in the habit. "Is he coming back soon?"
Renji looked at her small figure and gave her a warm smile. "No, I don't think so. But, you know, I'm not really in the mood to call it a night. So if you'll let me, I can escort you to your quarters." He added slyly, "Captain Matsuyama." His drinking had made him more courageous. Against his better judgment, he felt that it was a good idea. He wanted to make up for his friend being rude to her. She didn't seem bad at all, and she looked like she needed a friend.
Tomoko retracted her eyes from Renji's face letting her sight drop towards the ground. "Captain Abarai," she began after a pause. Her whole body began to become stiff with stress.
"Call me Renji. It's after hours anyway." He gestured to the road, adding in a bigger smile to soothe her.
The words began to slip from her lips in curt phrases. "I'm going to reject that offer. I'm sorry. Goodnight, Lieutenant Abarai." She looked him with distant eyes. With that, she made her way towards the direction she came, never looking back.
Renji looked in her direction for an answer. "The hell?" he murmured. He was confused by her. He questioned if she was that cold earlier that day, but couldn't focus hard enough to remember. At last, he sighed. "What do I do now?"
*Later That Night*
Kira's chest heaved in the air with a slow rhythm and he gazed at his ceiling. His gut feeling told him not to trust Tomoko. But, after what everyone else was saying to him, he began to question himself. Again. 'When am I going to stop questioning myself,' he asked himself.
The alcohol was slowly making him drowsy. It seeped into his system in small intervals as he tried so hard to kept a sober conversation with Jushiro earlier. Walking back home was rough, and he could sense the fatigue set in completely.
He laid his head to the side and closed his eyes. Soon he fell asleep, with his last thought lingering over Gin Ichimaru. The words that were supposed to be trapped in his mind unconsciously slipped through his mouth.
The words traveled out the open window into her ears.
Tomoko was seated underneath Kira's window, her legs curled into her chest. She was troubled, and found herself sitting under Kira's window only by accident. Once she heard his voice, she took a quick peek to see his sleeping figure. Sitting back down, she laughed not believing that she had wound herself right under her lieutenant's window.
She played with the grass near the wall and uprooted some, breaking the blades from their roots. "So that's it. Is it Kira?" she murmured her thought out loud to the empty air.
She looked up at the stars, watching a lone, sullen-looking cloud glide through the night sky. It began to contort and dissipate with the wind. The stars and moon watched the slow dancing cloud, while Tomoko watched as her eyes began to glaze with sorrow.
'Why can't you trust me Kira?' Tomoko let her body lay over on her side and began to relax. The grass brushed against her cheek as she breathed in the scent of soil. 'I'm just a friend. Tell me what's wrong Kira.' She lulled the last words, waiting for a reply. But none came.
Eventually, she got up and went home. The midnight air welcomed her when she entered her room. She curled up into the bed sheets and lifted the blanket to her chin. Sleep had claimed another one.
