I am sorry. I have truly been selfish. I haven't been updating since I have lost almost all interest in this story, and I started college which is a lot more work than high school, but it is not an excuse for all those who are reading this story and hoping and waiting for a new chapter.

I received a message yesterday that was very detailed and it really opened my eyes about this story. It means a lot more to others than it does me, and I do not like when I love a fanfic but the author never finishes it. So I should not do the same! Here is the next chapter, I figured if I changed things up a bit it will interest me more.

I have also put my computer in my own room which I haven't done for 5 years for personal reasons. Now I have my own little study of sorts so I am not as distracted. I want to finish this fic, but i also want it to look good, not finish it without caring how it ends or looks, because I am bored with it, I want it to be of good quality because my readers deserve it.

I am trying now. Thanks to those who are ever faithful, and thank you Kristina username: sakibest3467, for writing a well thought up message to me. I am continuing the story and no fears i will not delete it, it is after all one of my best so far.


Finally some peace and quiet, the only thing to be heard is the clinging of glasses and soft chatter from across the room. It was a short summer vacation, and so far we have been in a nice little place called Karuizawa. We were in a cute little bed and breakfast run by my uncle's friend. I guess this was his way of keeping Haruhi busy while away from school.

It is smart to keep her going, especially girl like Haruhi, who can't sit and do nothing for very long. I being under his care now meant that I followed the same rules, meaning I too worked in the bed and breakfast. Too be honest, it wasn't have bad, we stayed in a guest room and had free meals, while we volunteered to work. Best of all there was no dress code, so we got to wear whatever we wanted.

Well whatever we wanted under an apron given to us by Misuzu. I currently decided to go simple as usual wearing jean Capri's and an emerald green T shirt with the sleeves just slightly longer than normal. Over my work clothes is the apron Misuzu made for me which is a light grey with white ruffles and a white bandana to go with it over my hair.

It was slightly more girly than usual for me but I must admit I was thankful I wasn't wearing the same yellow color as Haruhi. It just doesn't suit me.

Any way currently I was picking up a delivery from a local market. Since Misuzu has all the food at the Inn freshly made, and top quality, he usually buys all the ingredients from local stores, and businesses. Tawny's Market is a small family owned store that sells most of the ingredients needed for the meals at Pension Misuzu, and it is always fresh.

I had maybe five bags on my arms, making it a heavy load but surely one I could handle without worrying of dropping any of the contents inside. I was able to make it inside when I heard the all too familiar "Kura-Chan!"

'Oh why is that voice so familiar, please tell me I am just hallucinating'

"I didn't know you worked here to Kura-Chan!" I heard the voice again but this time a blur of yellow rushed up to me and knocked into me almost causing me to drop the bags of goods on my arms. I fought to keep my balance as I looked down to see that my suspicions are correct, the little ball of blonde was most definitely Honey-Sempai.

"Eh yeah I do, um no offense Honey-Sempai but what are you doing here?" I looked down at the older boy with a questioning gaze, as his honey colored eyes slowly met mine.

"Well Tamaki wanted us here since he thought Haruhi disappeared and was kidnapped, but we figured out she was here and so are we now." He spoke following it up with childish laughter without noticing my distress.

'Does that mean the whole bunch is here? On my Vacation? Why lord, why me?'

I sighed slightly put down at the news. It isn't that I don't like the guys… Well most, I still am not sure how I feel on Tamaki yet, but I have to spend every day with them when school starts up. I didn't even see my old friends on my vacation at my other school, so why should I want to see my friends/co-workers?

Now that I think about it I should of just took up Hinata's offer of letting me stay with her family for vacation, but no I didn't want to intrude, and most certainly didn't want to leave Haruhi behind.

"Kura-Chan are you listening to me?"

I widened my eyes not knowing they only half lidded in thought, and looked at the now worried upper classman.

"Sorry Honey, Would you repeat that?"

"I said, come and sit by me!" he shouted with glee pulling me along to some place in the dining area.

I sighed shaking off my disappointment and started to chuckle. "Alright Honey, let me drop these off in the kitchen and I will be right over."

He only looked back for a second before smiling and shouting an "Ok", to let me go to the kitchen.

I took the small stroll to gather up my thoughts,

'I shouldn't be upset seeing friends outside of school hours, and I can't change what has been done. So make the most of it Sakura!"

In the kitchen I put away the ingredients and supplies in their rightful places, taking my time before going back out into the dining room again.

'Besides, just because they are here doesn't mean I will spend every waking moment with them, I am here for work, not play. Most likely I will only have to be with them on my longer breaks, or after working hours.'

With that thought in mind I smiled, deciding to just be happy in the situation. I walked back into the dining room only to see honey practically standing on the chair waving me over beside Mori who was still looking very impassive.

As I walked up to them I noticed that Honey, Mori, and Kyoya all sat at a table, and the twins to their left at the bar. I took a seat by Kyoya facing the backs of the twins, or more their sides since they all seemed to be facing and looking at a table a bit further away.

"Joining the group I saw Haruhi at the table across the way with a guy I haven't seen before, but considering its Haruhi she must know him very well, Interesting.

"I hope you know it's against the rules to get a job according to the Ouran Academy Hand book. We have seemed to let this slide though, since a little competition has gone on in your absence that seemed to set the record even."

I looked over at Kyoya with a questioning look, this one being more venomous than the one I gave Honey. "We didn't get a job, Haruhi is technically made to do this to be taken care of while her father is at work and she is not at school. You can't consider it a job either considering it is volunteer work; we are not paid any sort of salary."

Kyoya gave me his own blank stare only with slight bewilderment shown in his eyes before a small smirk graced his lips. Turning his attention n to his drink in front of him he spoke once more.

"You are a bit more scrutinizing than your cousin Sakura."

I smiled at the small victory, I already knew I was a bit more of an observer, and inspect my surroundings and my predicaments I am in more than my cousin. It was one of my finer traits, or not depending on the situation, but in this one it was for the better.

"But you are also flippant so I suggest you work on that."

I glared, but only grumbled an almost inaudible "whatever." in response.

Why?

Because it was true, I also was a bit cheekier, more smart mouthed than my cousin, which seems fun, but gets me into some trouble. This is one of my weaker points, no doubt about it.

"What's with him? He's trying to use the refreshing innocence approach. Someone should tell him we already had a refreshment contest."

I turned to look at Hikaru as he spoke those venomous words. He seemed unusually high strung today.

"You're being unusually critical." Kyoya spoke as well all turned our attention to Hikaru.

"I'm just saying, it's obvious this guy has a thing for Haruhi. It's sickening to watch him try and flirt."

I was shocked, and anger and pity started to bubble up inside as I watched the display.

Anger, since even if I didn't know the guy, and even if the accusations were true, Hikaru didn't have to shout them out to embarrass him, and he was being his true self not some display put on for girls to eat up like the rest of the guys.

Pity because I know that this sounds much like jealously and Hikaru has it awfully bad, but doesn't seem to know how to channel it. When was the last time he truly liked a girl, or did he ever like a girl before?

He and Kaoru have been the only two in their lives for so long I doubt a girl has ever truly crossed their mind before.

"Hikaru what is wrong with you? Quit acting like such a jerk!" Haruhi spoke firmly, not yet yelling, but definitely standing her ground and defending her friend.

The guy still was calm though, I had to admit this guy was awfully strong willed. If anyone talked like that about me I am sure I would have set them straight by now.

"Hey, it's no big deal. He's right I did have a thing for you once."

I looked on with a kind yet nearly expressionless face, it wasn't much of a shocker considering how he acted near here while they talked, but Tamaki, Kaoru and Hikaru seemed awfully shocked.

"But who cares you already turned me down right."

My eyes widened, ok now that was a shock! Haruhi turned some guy down? She would never; she can't be that cruel right? The guy seemed so nice! Note to self, I need to get his name.

"You have to finish this story Arai! Now how did this happen?" Tamaki asked, I feel like he was being nosey but at the same time I was curious so I didn't say a word and waited for the story.

Arai told us the story of about a year ago, how he met up with Haruhi in the hall way of their Junior high school, to tell her he wanted her to stay with him. But she being the ever clueless Haruhi, and he didn't use straight forward words she thought it was just about the schools not a relationship.

Haruhi apologized but I was still shocked. He continued to speak what he loved most about her and my inward swoon turned to a barely audible "awww", escape my lips.

I never will tell anybody my secret, but I secretly love that thought of a cute romance like that. I would absolutely love for a boy to ask me out in a sweet way, and tell me what exactly he loves about me. I was slightly a romantic but I will never let it show outwardly, because that will only bring way for embarrassment and harassment from those around me.

Soon they all decided to move this little party to one table, when I noticed the twins still off to the side alone. Still feeling a bit sorry for Hikaru I made my way over to them. "Hey guys."

"What are you doing here aren't you wanting to hear all about that jerk too?" Hikaru spat out, not looking at me but his empty glass. I would have fought back with more venom but I knew now that this was definitely a jealous rage acting out, and decided to be a bit softer with my reproach.

"I already know what High school was like for Haruhi, besides that table is too crowded and you guys are all alone." I answered with a soft smile sitting beside Hikaru. His eyes softened when searching mine almost in defeat, reassuring my ideas.

Soon Tamaki invited them back over to their table ending in a voiced lashing from Hikaru. The outcome more shocking than learning about Haruhi "turning down" I good guy, Haruhi stood from their table only to give Hikaru a well needed but I felt a slightly cruel slap considering she didn't understand why he was lashing out.

"I thought we were your friends! Are we or aren't we?!" Haruhi's eyes seemed to recognize a bit of where Hikaru's anger is coming from. Having only himself and Kaoru, he can't understand that just because he let Haruhi in doesn't mean she can't have other friends.

It also has to do with he has a crush on Haruhi he doesn't seem to know what to do with causing a bigger problem since he feel Arai as a threat.

Watching them both run off, I still felt a bit of pity for Hikaru, he doesn't understand that he really likes Haruhi, and his perspective on friends is still so small as well.

Arai had to leave shortly after that so we all met him outside to say our goodbyes, when one of the twins came outside. I took notice that though the clothes were most definitely Hikaru's; the twin was without a doubt Kaoru.

Waving goodbye too Arai I subtly asked without looking the twin beside me "Kaoru? Why are you pretending to be Hikaru?"

The guys seemed to tense up not realizing the mix up, "yeah and what happened to the scratch on your cheek!?" Haruhi further interrogated the younger twin.

Kaoru grinned pulling out a small bottle of makeup, which I don't even want to know how he has it in the first place. I am hoping he got it from Misuzu and it isn't once he actually owns and wears on his own.

I smiled he was much smarter than he appeared that's for sure.

Most of the guys decided to go in already and continue their vacation when I heard Kaoru ask Haruhi something that unexpectedly changed my world.

"I got a small favor to ask you, How about you go out with me tomorrow on a date."

I froze in anticipation I didn't know was for her answer.

"Sure."

I felt as if my heart was being clenched n someone's fist, and my stomach churned uneasily.

I started walking again before anyone noticed my delay, but I didn't dare turn back. I have o wounds on my body, yet I feel as if I was stabbed repeatedly with a dull knife right through the chest.

I felt my eyes feel as if they were beginning to swell with tears, but expertly kept them down and most definitely didn't show any emotion as I walked inside the bed and breakfast, finishing up a few chores.

I didn't meet up with any of host club members to avoid any slip ups but I couldn't avoid meeting up with Haruhi at the end of the day to get ready for bed.

"Well that was a long day." Haruhi said as walked into our room and slipping off her shoes.

"You think so?" I said, indifferently it wouldn't bring any unwanted attention to myself which I am glad for.

"Yeah and tomorrow will be no different, Kaoru asked me out on a date, crazy huh?" She continued as she got undressed and ready for bed. "Oh really?" I asked knowing what has happened; I grated myself for not sounding too happy about it.

Instead I sounded almost too cold, and it didn't seem to go un-noticed. She looked over at me as I sat up in my bed a book in my hands. "You Okay Sakura?"

I took only a second to gather up a mask, and threw on a tired smile. "Yes, just really tired."

She seemed to relax a bit, so I continued. "Well always best to be prepared, I am assuming it's an all day event?"

I got up off my bed and over to the closet with our clothes neatly hung up. I went through her more feminine clothes knowing it seems to be preferred by the guys, especially on a date.

"Here this dress is cute, and it is perfect for a casual date out on the streets"

I pulled out a slight high low dress that was blue, with pink straps, white trim and a small ribbon meeting in the middle at the top.

I then laid it out on the dresser across the room, ready for her to pick up tomorrow morning. "Oh, thanks Sakura. That's one less thing to worry about." She was now completely relaxed, as she smiled my direction.

I returned it, sad but it was a true smile. I guess it isn't much of a secret now that I may have feelings for Kaoru, or by secret I mean I am not denying myself to it, but my cousin has no clue.

I won't be telling anyone either, so there is no need in getting mad at the situation, though now I think I know how Hikaru felt with Arai.

It's just I thought Kaoru was flirting with me before, or maybe he acts that way with both of us and it is just his attitude.

There are many times he and his twin are touchy feely with Haruhi too, it isn't like it is just Kaoru and I.

I made my way back to my bed lying on my side facing the window rather than my cousin who has already turned off the light and was dozing off into her own little dream word.

Probably full of ideas on what her date with Kaoru will be like.

I hug my blanket closer to my chest as I finally feel a small tear slip from my eye.

I must be very foolish to think there was actually something there, between the two of us.

I should have known I wasn't anything special to him. Just a toy, like they said before, something to entertain them from their otherwise bored lives.

And yet I still wonder, if we were just their pawns, how come Kaoru ended up actually liking Haruhi and not me? He seemed so playful, or was that his way of getting closer to Haruhi as well?

Honey Sempai did mention earlier he had no idea I was working here as well. If he didn't know then I doubt the rest of them even thought of it either.

And Kyoya told me there was a whole competition to see who would stay at Pension Misuzu to be closer to Haruhi, The twins winning by a land slide, no shocker there really. If they didn't know I was here than that must mean the twins specifically Kaoru must have wanted to be near Haruhi, not me.

Does that mean they all don't really care about me?

Tears were now running down my cheeks without my permission as I tried to muffle my cries to not wake my sleeping sibling.

Tonight I feel more alone than I have felt since moved to this new city, and school. And that sends fear straight to my very core.


Alright does it need more work? What would you guys like to see happen in this story? Shout out some ideas, I wont guarantee I will follow them since this is my story after all but If I like them and they do line up with what i have in mind I most certainly with think about putting them in and will give you a shout out for the idea too of course.

Tell me if this is good I do like many many many comments, it is what keeps me going, I love to se it favorited, and followed too but I will be honest it is not as inspiring as some of your comments, so be thoughtful :D