Just thought I'd share an interesting tidbit with you. I listen to the Gundam SEED OSTs when writing, it helps me imagine things playing out in my head like an actual anime. Yeah, I'm quite the nerd. ;)
If you haven't already, you should check out RedAngel06's Gundam SEED story entitled Destiny Child. It's about Athrun Zala's long lost sister, Alix Zala. Really quite a fantastic story from a very creative girl. I'm acting as her editor at the moment, but it was her story that gave me the inspiration I needed to write my own.
I brought a certain someone back, I could never quite accept his death to begin with, not someone like him. Without further ado, here is the next chapter. Note: Athalia is a Hebrew female name, it means "The Lord is Mighty," so I'm not just pulling names out of my ass. I swear.
A young man sat quietly on a beach along the coast of Onogoro Island, the waves gently lapping at his feet. The breeze ruffled his short green hair, and his light brown eyes were cast out across the ocean. Why am I here? What is my purpose? He gingerly ran his fingers along his forearm, counting all of the needle marks. He thought back to his time spent in the lab, the pain, the horror, and the suffering. He had awoken one day 5 years ago in some kind of medical facility, faceless scientists all around. A year ago, he had escaped and managed to find shelter in ORB, but his inability to remember his past haunted him daily.
"Nick?" a young girl called out down the beach. The young man lifted his head in the direction of the voice, pulling his sleeve back down his arm to hide the scars. Smiling, he stood and brushed the sand from his pants. The girl ran into his arms, her dark blue hair flying about wildly. "You promised me that we would go to the movies tonight, you know."
"Ah, I know, but it was such a lovely evening that I wanted to spend it on the beach. I was secretly hoping that you'd come join me, Athalia," he said with a smile, looking into those beautiful bright green eyes of hers. For some unknown reason, he felt drawn to this girl. Something about her appearance, and even her name, sparked strange feelings deep within himself, almost as if there was something he should remember. "Come on, let's sit here and watch the sunset together."
"That sounds nice… But you're still not off the hook, you owe me a movie, Nick. Plus, I gotta get going, my mom said I had to be home in 15 minutes." They sat together, hand in hand, watching the sky change colours for a few minutes, and then she left him there alone.
Nick, it was what the scientists had called him, he didn't know if it was his real name or not, but it was all he had to go by. He'd managed to get a job as a maintenance technician for Morgenroete, but it was the mobile suits that held his interest. They felt like home to him, and he just couldn't understand why.
Who am I? What am I?
"Back once more to Onogoro Island," Annora sighed.
"It would seem that way," Athrun whispered. He stood behind her on the beach, longing to hold her. She looked lovely with the setting sun behind her, the light bouncing off of her curls making her hair seem as if it were on fire. Each passing day made it more difficult for him to control himself, and now she acted as though nothing had ever happened between the two of them. Sometimes he just felt like shaking her, and screaming… "I love you," he whispered.
"Did I ever tell you about my first kiss?" she asked, smiling at Athrun.
"Ah, no, I don't believe you did," Athrun said in reply.
"It was with someone you knew well. Him and I, we were engaged you know, it was something our parents had decided for us. Much like you and Lacus Clyne." Annora closed her eyes, imagining that first kiss once more.
"Who was it?" Athrun questioned her.
"Nicol Amarfi," she whispered, her eyes gazing into Athrun's. "It was awkward, but he was the sweetest boy. I was only 13 at the time, and he took me over to his piano where he played this haunting melody, I hear it in my dreams sometimes still. He said I was beautiful, and then he kissed me. I think that deep down, you never stop loving your first love." A tear rolled slowly down her cheek at the memory.
"Annie, come with me. I want to show you something," Nicol said, taking her hand in his. He led her into the largest room in his house, it was bright and beautiful. In the middle of the room stood a black baby grand piano, which Nicol took a seat at, smiling at her. "This is a song I just composed, I want you to be the first to hear it. I think it mirrors your beauty." His long fingers flowed effortlessly over the keys, and the song was so lovely that by the end of it, Annora was in tears.
"Oh Nicol, that was incredible,"
she whispered, truly awed by his talent.
He stood, and pulled her in close to his face. Smiling at her awkwardly, he closed his eyes, placing his lips on to hers.
"I think we'll be happy together," he whispered to her.
"Oh Athrun, isn't it beautiful? Look at the colours in the sky," Annora pointed toward the horizon, desperate to get the memory out of her mind.
"Absolutely breathtaking," he replied, his eyes never leaving her. Sighing, he finally tore his eyes away from her and started down the beach, waving meekly at Yzak as he passed him. Get a hold of yourself, he berated himself. He walked for what seemed like an eternity, kicking the sand as he went along, feeling betrayed by his own heart. She had loved Nicol, and now she loved Yzak, he wanted to stop thinking about her. That curly red hair, those deep green eyes, her soft pink lips… When he finally decided to look around to get his bearings, his eyes stopped on a young man a few feet from him.
Nick turned his head, noticing the blue-haired man standing by him. There was something… He'd seen this man before, but when? Suddenly their eyes met, and something clicked in his head.
"Nicol?" Athrun whispered, his eyes wide, and his heart pounding. This guy looked exactly like Nicol, every bit of him. From the slim body, to the short wavy green hair, and the eyes… Those eyes were Nicol's. Suddenly he ran forward, stopping inches away from the Nicol look-alike.
"A-Athrun?" the boy replied. He knew this guy, he knew him, but he couldn't understand how. "Ah, I… I know you," Nicol said quietly. "Err, I think." He suddenly felt the large scar on his chest, something tugging at the corners of his mind. Athrun reached his hand out, touching Nicol's face lightly.
"Nicol Amarfi?" Athrun questioned him, his eyes staring into Nicol's own intensely. Nicol nodded his head slightly, but his eyes were full of confusion.
"You… died," Athrun replied. "I saw you die… How are you alive? Kira, he killed you, I watched Blitz explode right in front of my eyes." He started backing away slowly, suddenly terrified, he heard Nicol die. Was it possible that he had survived? An overwhelming feeling of guilt winded Athrun, nearly knocking him over. If this was truly Nicol, then the fight between him and Kira had been for nothing, and the death of Kira's friend… "Oh my god," he choked.
"There's Athrun!" Annora's voice called out in the distance. His eyes widened at the sight of Yzak and Annora running towards him. "We've been looking everywhere for you," Annora panted as she stopped in front of him. "You're a hard guy to follow. Chairwoman Clyne is here, on Onogoro Island, she wanted all of us to meet her for dinner."
"I… uh… right, we shouldn't keep Lacus waiting," Athrun whispered, looking back at Nicol who was now staring intently at Yzak.
"What were you doing over here anyway, Athrun?" Yzak asked, barely noticing the boy sitting on the sand.
"Yzak?" Nicol said slowly, some short memories flashing through his mind. Yzak yelling at him, Yzak making fun of him… he knew this guy too.
"Nan-" Yzak stopped short, realising who the boy on the sand was. "Nicol? How…?"
"I don't know," Nicol replied, his eyes wandering over to Annora. It all hit him at once, his song, her kiss, his parents, his team mates, his friendship with Athrun, and his defeat at the hands of Strike. Clutching his chest, he fought desperately to keep the hysteria away.
Annora dropped to her knees, absolutely shocked. Not half an hour ago she had just thought about him, now here he was. "Nicol?" she whispered, making Yzak glance over at her questioningly. "Is that… really you?" Their eyes met, and Annora fainted.
"Oh, but this is terrific news Athrun! Nicol Amarfi is alive, can you imagine what joy this will bring his parents?" Lacus said excitedly.
Annora opened her eyes, groaning at the sudden change in light. How long had she been out? "Yzak?" she whispered.
"Oh, you're awake Annora-san. Yzak-taichou had to step out, but I'm here if you need anything," Lacus offered, smiling sweetly.
"What happened? Did I hit my head?" she asked quietly, rubbing her head.
"No, you fainted after seeing Nicol," Athrun replied.
"So it wasn't a dream then, that was really Nicol?" She sat up, trying to make sense of the situation.
"Yes, it's really me," Nicol answered. He grinned awkwardly at her, "It's been a while, Annie."
Annora took deep breaths, attempting to stay calm. Her fiancée was alive, and standing right in front of her. She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself. What was going on? First Logos, then Isaiah Jule, and now Nicol Amarfi? Was it all connected in some way? She shook her head in complete and utter confusion, feeling as though she was somehow cursed.
"Ah, uh, Lacus," Athrun broke the silence. "There's something… disturbing that I've yet to report to you. Perhaps if we could speak in private?"
"We're among friends, Athrun. You may report to me here," Lacus retorted.
"Very well then, as you know we found the Logos ship that was holding Lieutenant O'Connor prisoner." Nicol's eyes widened at that statement. "But what you don't know is that it wasn't just Annora we found, we found Yzak's… err, well his twin brother."
"Twin?" Lacus breathed.
"Yes, chairwoman. His name is Isaiah Jule, and he's currently under heavy guard onboard the Eternal," Annora said. "There's no mistaking it, he looks almost exactly like Yzak." She thought back to the way he had touched her on the Genesis and shivered.
"Is that so? I would like to meet with this man," Lacus replied, deep in thought.
Nicol waited for Athrun and Lacus to leave the room, and then sat beside Annora on the couch. He twiddled his thumbs in anxiety, not sure what to say to her. He had been "dead" to her for five years, it was probably foolish of him to hope she still felt anything for him, or that she was still faithful to him. He looked her over, marvelling at the way she had matured. "Your beauty has increased tenfold," he whispered.
"Nicol, I-" she was cut off by his kiss, those gentle lips on hers. Nicol's arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer to him, kissing her deeper. Oh, how she had missed him, missed his touch. His touch… Yzak! "Nicol, stop. We can't, I belong to someone else."
"Who? Is it Athrun?" he asked, his eyes full of pain.
"No, it's not Athrun," she replied.
"Dearka?"
"No, I love Yzak Jule," she whispered, casting her eyes down to her lap. "You were dead, and I became part of ZAFT. Lacus had me transferred to Yzak's team, and he…"
Yzak leaned against the door, listening in confusion.
"I understand, you don't need to explain it to me. It was selfish of me to think you would… wait for me," he said barely above a whisper. "It was your face that made me remember, your eyes. I was lost for so long, I didn't know who I was, but you brought me out of the darkness. I still care about you, I always did. That song I composed, it was for you."
"Nicol, I'm so sorry. Please don't think I ever stopped caring about you. When I heard you had died, I thought my world had ended. I enlisted so I could avenge you, but during my training… my parents, they were murdered by Logos, and then I realised that no matter how much fighting I did, and no matter how many people I killed, it would never bring them, and you back to me." Annora sighed heavily, resting her forehead on her hand.
"But why Yzak?" Nicol asked, brushing her hair from her face.
"He was so strong, he had survived both wars, and it seemed like nothing could phase him. He was hard, unforgiving, someone I wanted to become so I couldn't feel the pain anymore. The more I studied him, the more I started to understand… He felt pain, I saw him crying at your grave many times. His callous exterior was just a façade, he was in as much pain as I was. I think it was then that I started to feel protective of him, like I wanted to take away all of his pain, and maybe he could end all of my sorrows. He loves me you know, he truly does," she said with a sad smile.
"And do you truly love him?" Nicol's eyes were brimming with tears.
"I do," she whispered, and tears started rolling down Nicol's cheeks. "But I never stopped loving you, never." She pulled Nicol into her arms, embracing him as he silently wept, her own tears flowing freely now as well.
Yzak closed his eyes, unable to sort out what he was feeling, there were many mixed emotions. Anger for her never telling him about Nicol, empathy for the pain Nicol was feeling, resentment towards Nicol for still having a hold on his girlfriend, guilt for taking someone so important away from his old friend… He wanted to cry and scream all at the same time, would she leave him for Nicol now that he was back from the dead?
"What's wrong Yzak?" Annora murmured, kissing his neck gently.
"Do you want to be with Nicol? Tell me truly," he answered, fighting back the emotion that threatened to overwhelm him.
"I did, until I met you. You are my life, Yzak, and I will never leave you," she replied while lightly running her fingers down his chest. "He was my fiancée, my best friend, and my first kiss. I care for him, but not in the same way I care for you. Will that answer suffice, commander?"
"Hai," he whispered in reply.
-From Yzak's point of view-
Since I was a young boy, my only goal in life has been to gain power. I wanted to be a powerful man, I wanted to make my deceased father proud of the son he never had a chance to meet. I built up an emotional shield to protect myself from the pain of never having a father, a pain that all of the others I went to school with didn't understand. I appeared rude and arrogant to all around me, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed having people afraid of me, I enjoyed bullying those who were weaker. I frequently made fun of Nicol, who never tried to defend himself, or exact revenge. He was kind, and he had a strength about him that I felt I could never achieve.
After Kira Yamato had defeated Blitz, I felt like my world was crashing down. I looked up to Nicol, I wanted to understand the strength he possessed, and I wanted to be like him. However, he was destroyed, and I realised then that perhaps kindness was a weakness. Maybe if you cared too much for others, it would eventually kill you. My emotional guard was up once more, and stronger than ever, I could never let anyone in, it would surely kill me.
I had been with many girls in my youth, but I thought nothing of them. They were nothing more than a temporary distraction, a quick way to blow off some steam and get back to work. I never had a problem finding one to sleep with, I had been blessed with my mother's good looks, and I was from a wealthy family. I used them for their bodies, and then I threw them out of my door. Dearka encouraged this behaviour, but after he met that girl Miriallia, his outlook on women changed. I could no longer understand why he was looking for love now, and not just a quick fuck. I didn't know what love was, it was a foreign concept to me, foreign and dangerous.
After the second war, I had watched Lacus Clyne and Kira Yamato's relationship blossom. The way they looked at each other, the way they felt for one another, it made me feel extremely… empty. I felt as though I was missing some part of me, but I couldn't understand what it was. I threw myself into my work, drilling the new recruits, attending meetings with Lacus, maintaining my emotional guard. I was powerful now, I was Lacus Clyne's right-hand, but it didn't feel like it was enough.
Shortly thereafter, Lacus assigned a young girl to my team, a girl I was instantly fascinated with. She was quiet, strong, intelligent, and beautiful. Whenever I was around her, I felt… whole. I quickly fell in love with her, but she had no idea how I felt, and I didn't know how to express my feelings. I was prone to angry outbursts around her, I'd scream and yell, I'd admonish her for any mistakes she made. After a while, I felt it was hopeless, I couldn't tell her, and she probably hated me anyway. When I had accidentally heard her talking to Yamato about me, I felt something new inside of me, hope I think it was. I worked up the nerve to kiss her, and one by one my emotional shields came crashing down.
Now here I am, a lovesick fool, and I have never felt more alive in my life. She completes me, she suppresses the bad in me, and brings out the good. She gives my life meaning, she makes me want to fight for my future… Our future. I've never felt this before, but now that I have it I'm certain I never want to let go of it. And thus, I will ask her to marry me, I know now for sure that she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know that without her I am nothing, but with her I have a purpose, a reason for living.
The ever callous Yzak Jule is now hopelessly in love with Annora O'Connor, and she's changed me for the better.
