Note;; BAM! I had fun with this chapter. And you get to learn more about Johnny. And actually get a clear understanding about his mental state of being. :D
Disclaimer;; Blah-blah
Warning;; Blow-job, mention of gore, Johnny-craziness...
Pairing;; Carter Blake&&Norman Jayden
Chapter VIII
When he made the bet, he never expected Norman would actually win. He guessed maybe he should have, after all Norman usually did know what he was talking about. But he was pissed, and needed some entertainment. Who knew that would lead to him giving his first blow job? He definitely didn't know, when he said he'd do "anything" but let the little prick put his dick up his ass, he wasn't aware that he wanted to fuck his mouth instead. Carter chewed on his inner bottom lip as he found himself on his knees in front of Norman, a blush took over his face from the degrading position he found himself in. After all this was where a woman should be… or Norman, but not him.
"You done this before?" Norman asked with a smile, already feeling himself becoming hard from the sight of Blake in such a lowered state, the deep blush on the man's cheeks driving him wild. It was rare to see Blake embarrassed, but when those moments happened he found himself wanting to sleep with the lieutenant wherever they might be. A weakness he had, but it was worth it, just the look in those beautiful blue eyes. The way he did everything to avoid the inevitable eye contact, how his usual hard and angry expression lifted to show one of nervousness and anxiety, it was all so rare and exotic to the Ex-Agents eyes.
Carter found himself beyond embarrassed; after all here he was losing his blow job virginity to the King of fellacio. He wondered how Jayden would even react, probably mentally criticizing him during the whole thing. 'Gah, why do I care? I'll just do a shitty one on purpose. Maybe he'll change his mind during…' He smirked at the thought before nervously rubbing the back of his neck, losing his tie a bit before placing his hands back on his knees. "No, I haven't." he admitted avoiding eye contact with the younger man.
"Take your time… Lieutenant." Norman mused; he could feel the older man glare at him before giving an annoyed sigh. After a moment Carter took in a deep breath before finally moving his hands to Norman's waistband. He gave Norman a final glance before going back to the task at hand, it took him a few minutes to collect his thoughts, but he finally unbuttoned and unzipped the man's jeans. Swallowing back the sickness building up he inched a bit closer on his knees, letting out the breath he was holding in a nervous shaky way. He slowly pulled down the man's pants and boxer-briefs, already knowing what was contained behind them, for during other sexual acts they engaged in he not only saw but touched the organ. One thing he was happy about was that Norman wasn't as big as himself, if he was he definitely would have hid at Ash's place for a few days and avoid the reason as to why. But Norman wasn't small either; he was a little above average… well average from what he's seen in his day. Not that it mattered much to him; he never wanted one anywhere inside of him. In fact he couldn't figure out for the life of him how Norman even talked him into this. He could have just laughed in his face and gone and done something else instead… or maybe he did do that before Norman said some sort of psychobabble that pissed him off and made him lose his mind till he finally did get on his knees in front of him. Well, whatever magical force got him to this position, there was no backing out now. He moved his hands and took hold of Norman's hips, wanting to prevent any unwanted movement from when he got started. Licking his lips and taking in a deep breath he moved his face forwards.
Norman lightly gripped the older man's short coarse hair out of reflex. He found himself tempted to push the man into the act but knew to let him take his time. He bit his bottom lip at the feeling of Carter's breath trailing over his dick, knowing that soon his inexperienced mouth would work to wrap around it. The thought alone was enough to make him want to cum, he just hoped he could hold back when the older man finally complied with his part of the deal. He furrowed his brows in slight frustration as he felt the older man pull his head back a bit. 'Just do it alre-.' "Ohhh." Norman moaned as he tightened his grip in Carter's hair, 'Jesus Christ.' He found himself at a loss for words as the furnace of a mouth wrapped around him. Carter moved one of his hands off Norman's hips and took hold of the base of Norman's cock. Bobbing his head slightly before pulling back to the head and sucking trying to think of what Norman did to him that made him want to scream with pleasure. Listening to the younger man make soft moans and sounds he found himself slightly spurred on. The excitement filling, confusing and scaring him. Norman gave a groan as he felt Carter turn his head, one of his rather large canine teeth scraping almost painfully on the top of his length. "Watch the teeth."
Hearing the pleasured command from the younger man sent a wonderful shot of heat to his groin. Something about getting the small command was making him hard. It reminded him of a time when he and one of his girl friend's decided to experiment with bondage and the like, remembering that to be one of the best sexual experiences they had. He had actually found himself surprised that she had the ability to control him like she did. 'Wonder if Norman likes more than handcuffs…' He was snapped out of his thoughts and back to what he was doing as an odd taste hit his tongue, along with the sharp snap of Norman's hips as he bucked into his mouth. Feeling the appendage hit the back of his throat he pulled his head back and glared up as Norman who bit his lip and closed his eyes. "Sorry…" Came the hoarse response, hesitantly Blake tightened his grip on Norman's hip, his other hand moving off the base of his length to tend to Norman's ass. Slipping his hand back between Norman's legs he slid a finger inside the man who gasped and jerked forwards going further into Blake's mouth. Blake gave Norman another glance before taking him further into his mouth. He felt Norman pull on his hair, silently commanding him to take him in further. Carter moaned against the man's length as he did what he was silently told. Slipping another finger inside the man he shifted uncomfortably from his position on the floor, his body ached with lust and need to fuck Norman. Curving his fingers he began to massage the gland inside of him, while following the man's silent commands from having his hair pulled into the rhythm Norman wanted as he tended to the organ in his mouth with his tongue and lips, sucking accordingly to what he knew Norman did to him.
Norman moaned louder as he began to buck into the Lieutenants mouth, the older man doing his best to fight his gag reflex as he continued to finger and blow the man in front of him. "Ah! God… C-Carter!" Hearing his name moaned he followed the younger man's motions faster, wanting to make that prick scream. He glanced up again watching the man lean his head back, mouth parted as unintelligible noises escaped from his throat. It was obvious Norman was close, the precum on his tongue and down his throat were evidence enough. It was there he found himself unsure what to do when the man finally did cum, it would be humiliating to pull away and get it all over himself, but then it also seemed humiliating to have it in his mouth… Spitting would make an annoying mess, but swallowing... he almost cringed at the thought. He found himself in slight shock as Norman slammed his hips forwards probing down his throat in the harsh action, "Ahh! Carter!" Carter could feel the organ pulsate in his mouth and before he could do anything cum seemed to shoot down his throat and assault his mouth. He could hear Norman pant trying to catch his breath from his orgasm. Carter breathed through his nose the best he could, pulling his head back he begrudgingly swallowed the milky liquid, not wanting to have to worry about the clean up. Pulling his fingers out of the agent he coughed, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Embarrassment quickly gripped him at the realization of what he just did, and it was evident he enjoyed it due to the fact his was hard. "Good job, Lieutenant." Norman said in satisfaction, he couldn't help but smile as he received a glare from the man. Norman began to pull up his Boxers and pants pausing as Blake basically shoved him onto the bed.
Without hesitation Carter freed his painfully contained member and pulled Norman's clothes the rest of the way off before penetrating the man. Norman cried out in a mix of pleasure, pain and surprise from the harsh motion. He wrapped his arms around the man's neck and bucked his hips against Carter's actions, he noticed an almost urgency to his harsh thrusts. Carter moved his mouth and kissed the younger man trying to replace the taste of Norman's semen with something more pleasant. Crying out Norman moved his arms and began to untie and unbutton Blake's shirt. The older man groaned into his mouth then moved his hands off of Norman's hips and forced Norman's above his head. The younger man writhed into the body above him, spreading his legs a bit more while rocking into Carter's movement. He could tell from the chaotic snaps of Carter's hips that he was close to his release, he moved from Norman's mouth to tend to his neck. His moans and grunts muffled by the younger man's taught skin. With one final snap of his hips he came hard inside the younger man, calling out the younger man's name to announce his climax. Norman panted heavily under the man who thrust a few more times to fully spend himself before pulling out and collapsing on the bed next to the younger man. Carter panted to catch his breath, finding himself exhausted from his urgent display of dominance; he was still mentally kicking himself for not only giving Norman a blow job, but enjoying it, from the act itself to the taste of the younger man. Moving he put himself back into his boxer briefs, hesitantly getting off the bed to brush his teeth and change into something to sleep in.
Norman watched the older man in slight curiosity as he got up and located when Blake threw his boxer briefs in a fit of what he was assuming the older man trying to regain the feeling of dominance. In all honesty he found himself surprised that Carter complied, albeit hesitantly at first, but seemed to get into the act not long after he started. The man's hard on and sexual display showing that he really did enjoy doing it, he doubted he could get the man to admit that, but maybe he could get him to do it again sometime. The thought of having Carter do it again made his stomach do flips, he enjoyed that little bit of dominance he had over the man, and he found himself craving more of that. Maybe he could eventually talk him into spreading his legs? The mental image of Carter under him was enough to make him swoon. He would love nothing more than to fuck Carter. Norman winced from the painful ache he felt in his lower regions, Carter had never been gentle in the slightest sense but that was more brutal then their usual acts. He knew already that he was going to be sore in the morning; he just hoped he could walk right. Slipping his underwear back on he figured he'd take a much needed shower in the morning before going to the station for his interview. Running a hand through his hair he moved back to the bed and crawled under the covers extremely satisfied with himself. He shifted, looking towards the bathroom as Carter came out and joined him in the bed, both of them easily being claimed by sleep.
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Last night had seemed abnormally long for him, it also didn't help that he couldn't get a wink of sleep, so instead stayed up and began studying what he'd written down about a few girls he'd been following. He'd crossed Brianna and Alice off his list and looked to the women he'd written down, his eyes locked on Vivian's name. From what he'd seen she was still doing her normal routine, sleeping at home till she had to go to work. On Friday's she'd hang out with friends, and Saturday she'd hang out at home all day, on Sunday's she'd pick up things she needs at the stores. And weekdays she'd just go from home to work, she had been a simple person, only thing she could ever commit to was her job and her routine. She was almost OCD in that regard, she'd actually freak out if she was ever shoved off her routine. He remembered one time he made her play hooky so the two of them could have a romantic night together in celebration of their six month anniversary. She had been tense through nearly the entire thing and seemed to get angry at every little thing. Shaking the memory from his mind he looked to the watch on his wrist then the calendar he had on his wall. The picture of the month being a simple black and white photo of a woman looking out a window. She was facing away so you could see her back and the profile of her head, the focal point being that of the dragon and tiger tattoo on her back. His eyes moved from the picture to the date. Tuesday. He looked from the calendar to the paper in front of him.
"Time to pay Vivian a visit." He smiled to himself as he got up, looking back to his watch, seeing it was only six thirty he sighed and sat back down, knowing that the neighbors that would see him wouldn't all be gone till about nine thirty. "What am I gonna do for three hours?" He muttered to himself he leaned back in his seat in thought, wanting to take his time with Vivian he knew he should be there before ten, and it took about two hours to walk to her house. He supposed he could head down there and hang out in the park and take some pictures before continuing his trip to Vivian's house. Getting up from his small two person kitchen table he walked over to the TV in the living room of his apartment. Turning it on he decided to catch the news before going out, sitting on the couch in his room he changed the channel to his desired news station listening to the current anchorman drone on about the "woes" of the city. Just some insignificant death that happened during a mugging at a local drug store, followed by the usual crime in Philadelphia. Rolling his eyes he ran a hand through his hair, he never really liked the new anchorman that replace Glenn, in all honesty he liked both the Sanders. Sure Brittney came off as a bitch, but what woman with a respectful job didn't? Turning off the TV he made his way out the door, putting his camera around his neck while heading down the stairs of the apartment complex to retrieve his mail.
"Hey! Did you see this!" he stopped walking and turned his head towards Jen who walked over holding out a news paper. "I picked it up last night while you were with Andrew… But check out this article." She said joining him on his decent down the stairs. He took the paper from her and looked to the photo of some officer's standing around a body posed at a kitchen table. His heart practically skipped a beat as he stopped walking, his eyes more focused on the photo, the expressions on the cops faces as they examined his work, for the most part they seemed uninterested. 'Probably because they don't see how beautiful she is…' He looked back towards the article itself scanning over most of it; he hadn't even noticed that Jen was talking. "… city gets more freaks than anywhere else." Johnny nodded idly.
"That's Philadelphia for you." He muttered under his breath before handing her back the paper, making a mental note to pick up his own copy, on his way to Vivian's… Speaking of which he knew he needed to get more money from his account. He spent most of what he had yesterday on the taxi and his shopping trip.
"They think he might be a serial killer, a second body fitting the MO of the first one came in." Johnny could feel pride swelling inside of him, god this was perfect. But if they're on to two of his bodies maybe he should wait with Vivian? Just go and make sure she's still on the schedule he thinks she is, and make sure the neighbors around her are too? But he'd never finish his project on time if he took too long. Brianna was way too time consuming, then again he was so nervous when stalking her it was hard for him to pull his thoughts together.
"You sound excited?" Johnny commented noticing the sound in her voice.
"Well… It's interesting. Better then hearing and reading about muggings." She said with a shrug as they reached the bottom floor of the complex. "So where you headed?"
"Gonna take more shots. I need to work harder if I'm gonna have my project finished by the time of the exhibition. I promised my sponsor I'd have some to show, one that will blow my last project out of the water." He said with a forced smile.
"How long do you have?" She asked remembering him talking about the project when they were catching up.
"Eighty days."
"Seems like a lot of time." He gave a small nod, and it would be the perfect amount of time, he just needed to find a few more girls, then find their routines then mark them on his calendar by number to when he would kill them, hopefully when he had everything down he could focus on the tasks at hand and not feel so panicked about the whole thing. 'It's not that easy. Don't get cocky.' He mentally criticized himself.
"So where you headed? Working the bar already?" he asked looking to the watch he wore. She smiled and shook her head.
"Nah, I got a second job so I could get extra money." She said with a shrug. "Speaking of which I'm running late… I'll see you later."
"Have fun." Johnny said with a smirk watching her head off to her car.
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Her soft fingers moved from his face into his hair, holding on to it as she smiled brightly. Closing her eyes she leaned forwards and rested her forehead against his. "Yes." The word was spoken with a soft laugh, her smile widening. Carter swore she could light up a room with that smile, "I'd love to marry you." She finished the statement with a kiss; he eagerly wrapped his arms around her returning it.
"I love you." The words were spoken against her soft skin.
"I love you too." Her skin became cold; he opened his eyes to stare into her sunken eyes. Flinching he pulled back and looked at the woman who sat in front of him with a bullet wound through her neck.
He quickly sat up in bed and ran a hand through his hair, his heart was hammering against his chest and he groaned while rubbing his face. He hadn't dreamed of Chloe in years, she'd only recently appeared in his dreams when Norman asked him that stupid question. 'What got you into the police?' There were multiple things that made him choose law enforcement as a career, but Chloe… she turned into the main reason, what happened to her was motivation for him to finish the academy even through his depression. His eyes scanned over Norman before looking to the clock on his night stand. Six Twenty Nine. He moved his hand and hit the off button the moment his alarm went off. Getting out of bed he made his way towards the bathroom, deciding he'd wake Norman up later. Walking into his bathroom he opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed his medication, figuring he should get back on top of taking it when he was supposed to. Ash had been right about everything he said, swallowing the pill he took a deep breath and leaned against the sink. It was almost Chloe's birthday; rolling his eyes he walked into the shower hoping that the hot water would clear his head.
Norman slowly opened his eyes, groaning from the ache in his lower back. He slowly sat up and yawned with a small stretch, noticing that he sat alone on the bed. He blinked when he noticed the odd light on his hands, almost like he was in water. His heart nearly leaped out of his chest when he saw the large shadow of the Great White swimming over his head. His eyes widened as he watched the creature swim around, its gapping mouth almost smiling at him. He shook his head while holding the blankets tighter to himself. This was impossible; he was in Carter's bed not in the sea, that's why he could breathe.
"Sharks don't eat humans. They eat seals." He muttered to himself in an attempt to calm down, he warily watched the underwater predator, staring into its pitch black eyes. "When a shark attacks a human it thinks it's a seal so it does a taste test throwing its food, if it likes the taste it goes back, if it doesn't it leaves." Sweat clung to his forehead when a second and third great white appeared. He moved back on the bed, tightening his grip on the blankets as they got closer. "They eat seals because of the fat; they think it tastes good… I'm underweight, I won't taste good." He said the last part to the sharks that seemed to get closer to him. "Carter!" Norman yelled in fear as he closed his eyes and covered his head. Feeling something on his shoulder he lashed his hand out and found his fist hitting Carter's face. "Oh, God, sorry!" Norman exclaimed moving off the bed to see if Carter was okay.
"Jesus Christ, Norm, you call me over here just to punch me in the face!" Carter snapped grabbing the man by the throat in annoyance, doing his best not to strangle the man, even though he really wanted to.
"Sorry! I thought you were a shark!"
"A shark?" The man asked in confusion as he let Norman go, arching a brow he rubbed the back of his head, continuing to hold the towel around his waist. "We're on land! You're on my fucking bed! Where the hell would a shark come from!" Norman replied with a stare, looking away in shame before giving a shrug of defeat.
"I dunno." He muttered childishly causing the Lieutenant to sigh in annoyance.
"Well, now that you're up, go get ready for your interview." Carter muttered, rubbing his jaw in annoyance, slowly the younger man got off the bed and started to walk towards the bathroom. "Norman, one sec." The younger man regretted turning around as he found Carter's fist to connect with his chin. Stumbling backwards he hit the wall, one hand moved to tend to his sore jaw as he glared at the older man who just smirked and headed towards his dresser to get dressed.
"It was an accident!" Norman yelled in his own defense, wincing from the pain in his jaw.
"So was that." Carter mused, Norman just glared at the man who seemed pleased as punch.
"Uh-huh, and how exactly was that an accident?" The man gave Norman a look as if the answer was obvious.
"You accidentally walked into my fist."
"You're such an ass." Norman muttered walking into the bathroom and into the tub. Carter smirked as he haphazardly dried himself off before slipping on a pair of navy blue boxer-briefs. Finding a clean pair of black slacks he slipped them on and located his belt before pulling it through the loops. Walking to his closet he opened the door and grabbed a blue dress shirt. Slipping it on and buttoning it up he tucked the bottom of it into his slacks before tightening the belt around his waist. Draping a tie around his neck he walked into the kitchen to make some breakfast for the two of them, rubbing his jaw with a sigh. He needed to touch up his beard, the area around was beginning to grow out. Groaning to himself he grabbed two pans and started to make bacon and eggs. He figured Ash wouldn't mind if he was running a bit late, and Norman's interview wasn't for a while, so why not have a good breakfast instead of skipping it all together or being the typical cop stereotype by eating a donut… which was what he usually did.
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"You ready yet?" Carter asked in annoyance as he fixed his tie, he looked over to Norman who walked out of the kitchen flipping through the small files on Alice and Brianna. "You decided anything on that yet? What're your thoughts on this sick fuck?"
"Clearly male, has a lot of free time on his hands. He's at the point in time where he's being cautious and putting space in between each killing, that's why it took so long between Brianna and Alice… Like most serial killers the space between will become less, though that's usually where they slip up cause they become comfortable with what they're doing and it turns from a sick desire to an obsessive need… Usually they take some sort of trophy to hold them over till the next kill… As for the murder itself… These are very personal killings. It's one thing to kill someone with a knife but he stayed by and watched them die before posing them like this. More then likely he has a death fixation."
"Death fixation… Like he's obsessed with it? Why the fuck would anyone have an obsession of watching someone die?" Norman looked from the photos up to Carter with a shrug.
"Two scenarios come up, he either almost died himself or he's watched someone die at a young age. Probably between the ages of five and eight. That's when a child is developing into who they'll be the rest of your life. It's also usually why the earliest memories a person has is at the age of five. That's when memory begins to kick in. He probably targets women because he thinks they're easy prey, not sure why he poses them though… The Taxidermist posed and stuffed his victims so they wouldn't end up like Brianna by rotting and decaying. Then again he wanted them preserved so he could live his sick fantasy life… But this guy… He just leaves them like that, and then takes away their photos…" He paused and stared at the two pictures of Brianna and Alice. "He probably poses them how he sees them, like a this is what they are, kind of thing. Turns his kills into artwork, and he takes away their photos so you only see them as what he makes… I'll have to look more into that… he could also just take the photos as his trophy…" Norman closed the files and handed them to Carter as they headed out the door.
"I don't get where you come up with this shit, all through some fucking pictures and a few vague descriptions." Norman just shrugged as he climbed in the car, adjusting his tie and buckling his seatbelt.
"Well, I could probably get more if I see his work in person. I'll have a better view of his work, and get the feel for what he does… Plus all I have right now is just a simple outline on his profile, it's not enough to make a full profile. All I can tell you is he's male his job allows him free time, and he's in his mid twenties to early thirties."
"Where the fuck do you get ages?" Norman looked at him with a raised brow, as if the answer was obvious.
"Both of these women are young, if he is going to be anywhere around them before he kills them then he'd have to fit into the social group. You said that no one at the apartments saw anything strange, or anyone suspicious. Meaning he could have had interaction with her somewhere else in her life, and at school she's probably with people around her age, unless it's a professor... I don't feel like a professor would have the time and patience to do something like this though. Sure for the most part they make their own hours… but to randomly decide to murder one of his students then a whore… it just doesn't make sense. So it would be mid twenties because of Alice's involvement, for the most part those who have been caught with her have been in their-"
"Mid twenties and early thirties… is this really the kind of shit you do all day?"
"Well… not all day, but most of it, yeah… why?"
"Sounds boring." Carter said offhandedly.
"You probably find it boring because you don't understand it." Norman muttered bitterly causing the older man to smirk in amusement.
"What's not to understand? You sit around and analyze people… That's boring shit, Norm." Norman gave a bored sigh as he leaned forwards and opened the glove box in curiosity. "What're you doin?" the question came out nervously, causing Norman's curiosity to get the best of him.
"Nuthin." He muttered childishly now wondering what the man had been hiding in the glove box. He shoved Carter's hand away when the man went to close the glove box he was rummaging through. He found an empty pill bottle the registration, along with other papers on the car, and a photo… 'Why is there a photo here?' Pulling it out he allowed Carter to finally close the glove box. The photo was clearly old, the creases and the coffee cup stain in the corner made that obvious, and it was a Polaroid. In the picture was a woman wearing a leather jacket laying in grass. Her hair was outrageously big letting him know this had to be from some time in the eighties. She had dark make up on and seemed almost disgusted by the fact she was having her picture taken. His small victory smirk disappeared as the photo was quickly snatched out of his hand and placed inside Carter's wallet, which was then stuffed back in his back pocket before the light turned green. "Who is she?"
"No one." Carter snapped, clearly annoyed.
"If she was no one she wouldn't be in your car, and you wouldn't think to hide her in your wallet." Norman pried finding himself wanting to know who the young woman in the picture was, wanting to know who Carter was trying to hide from him. She was obviously someone dear to him, and that's why he bothered to keep the photo so close to him.
"It's Abby." That was a lie, the woman in the photo had brown eyes.
"You're sister has blue eyes." He said remembering the photos he found in Carter's closet, he earned a glare from the older man.
"Just… drop it, okay?" Norman gave a small nod in defeat.
"Alright." After a while Carter finally broke the awkward silence between them.
"How do you know Abby as blue eyes?" Norman gave a small hmm at the question before smiling and looking out the window at the precinct they were approaching.
"Oh… I found pictures of her in your house… None of her though." He muttered motioning towards the glove box.
"Chloe always did hate her picture being taken." Norman caught the smile on Carter's face before it vanished when he seemed to realize what he'd just said. Grinding his teeth Carter mentally kicked himself for saying that, while wondering if he should punch Norman for having the ability to make him open up about things he really never wanted to talk about. Only people who knew about Chloe were his sister, Scott, and Ash. And Ash only knew because he went off about her when he was on a down and drunk off his ass.
"She… she, uh, an old girlfriend?" Norman hesitated before and during the question, wondering if he was overstepping his boundaries by asking the question. He was just met with silence and a cold glare after Carter parked in his usual spot.
"See ya later Norman." He muttered getting out of the car and walking towards the elevator. Giving a heavy sigh, Norman followed after him, listening to the car lock the moment the doors shut.
"Carter, let's go. Gotta get to Miranda's before Korda leaves... if he's even there. Toni's trying to get his phone call." Ash said with a broad smile as he walked out of the elevator.
"Did you tell Gary to-"
"Check out the school? Yeah. I gave him Johnny's description as a just in case." Both men seemed to ignore Norman who listened to them curiously. The detective looked from Carter to the younger man, eyeing him up and down before crossing his arms. "Don't you have an interview to get to?" His tone was almost scolding, arching a brow Norman gave an annoyed sigh as he headed to the elevator. "Oh and just in advance, I like my coffee black." He said with a pompous smirk, Carter smiled at the comment as he turned on his heel.
"Let's go."
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The plan failed, listening to the loud bang of the kid's running back and forth on the metal bridge at the park caused that damned memory to come to him. In a slight panic he left, heading to Chamberlin's office knowing he needed to get this out, he had to or else Loraine would have something to use against him when she came back. She was so fucking good at making him completely miserable, especially with that memory and the harsh whisper that that is what he would do. He was going to be just like him. The walk seemed to take forever but he finally reached the clinic, walking in he found the man saying his goodbyes to another patient before getting himself a cup of coffee. "Andy… I… I know you're busy but I need to talk. Jen's at work and I don't…" he trailed off as the man looked at him with concern. He looked to the secretary behind the desk and approached her.
"When's my next appointment?"
"Not till noon." She said in a bored manner, her eyes shifted from the Doctor to Johnny who was rubbing his arm and shifting his weight from one foot to the other in a nervous manner.
"C'mon." He said with a wave of the hand beckoning Johnny to follow him, giving a small nod of acknowledgement to the secretary he followed after the man who knew everything about him, and everything he's done in his life… Well almost everything. The man opened the door to his office allowing Johnny to walk in and take a seat in a rather comfortable chair. He leaned back, letting out a deep breath before sitting forwards and wiping his sweaty hands on his knees nervously. "What's bothering you? You seemed fine last night." Johnny took note of the bags under the man's eyes and he began to wonder if he ever went to sleep or if he stayed here all night, knowing he'd just have to show up in three hours anyway. Johnny's eyes traveled to his camera which he slowly began to fidget with.
"I… I keep seeing them. My biological parents. But it's always that night. Every time I remember them it's as they're dying… I wish I never woke up during the yelling. Hell sometimes I wish he took me too."
"What all do you remember?" The man inquired causing Johnny to look towards the wall. The memories started to come back only because of the murders. Each time he watched someone die he could only remember her face, the fear she had… the desperation...
"I woke up to the sound of yelling. I walked down the stairs but stayed on the stair well, I could see them both from there. They were in the kitchen yelling at each other… I don't remember what they were arguing about… I think the dishwasher… I remember him pointing at it a lot during the argument…" He furrowed his brows trying to think of it, trying to remember what exactly they were yelling about. "I… he pulled out a gun. She tried to calm him down but he was so mad… That's when she spotted me and pleaded for him to put it away, for me. She said; 'Don't let Johnny see this. Don't let him see you like this. Put the gun down…' he wouldn't listen though, he was going off about how much he loved her and how this is the only way they'd be free, the only way they'd be safe. That they could be together forever this way. My mom was in tears and she tried to motion me to walk away but I was scared and confused and I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen asking what was wrong, 'why are you fighting?'" He paused as he rubbed his face. "Then the gun went off… I watched as it happened, it all felt so fake, like a bad dream. I couldn't move… I could barely breathe… I could feel something wet on myself and as I looked down there was just blood… everywhere… She looked so calm though, she didn't even see it coming because she was looking at me the whole time. Then he turned the gun on himself and said he was sorry. Apologized to me for everything before telling me I couldn't join them. Then he pulled the trigger… The next thing I remember is a firm hand on my shoulder and a kind voice. A man tried to talk to me and see if I was okay. It was a police man… I didn't know how long I was standing there, but I finally wound up throwing up all over the poor guys shoes." He couldn't help but smile at the thought. "But I can't get those images out of my head… And their more frequent as of late… I mean just today the memory was set off by a loud noise coming from the park…"
"How come you haven't mentioned this in a while… It's clearly been bothering you." The man asked in concern.
"Well yeah it's bothering me!" Anger hit Johnny at the statement. "My father who supposedly loved me and my mother murdered her in front of me! Not even that but he painted me in her fucking brains! Yeah the memory bothers me! I don't remember anything else about them just their deaths! And the selfish bastard didn't even want me to 'join him' or 'be with them forever.' So yeah! It bothers me! And it's not like I can talk to anyone about it that's not you! I mean what kind of conversation is that! Jen doesn't even know the full story. Harry and Michelle only know because of the fucking newspaper, and you." He ran a hand through his short hair and gave a heavy sigh.
"You said you wished he took you with him?"
"Yeah… I also wish he did it while I was a baby. Or while I was asleep, maybe then the police would have gotten there to get me before I stumbled upon my dead parents. Maybe then I wouldn't be so fucked up huh? Maybe then I wouldn't have killed Michelle's cat for continuously waking me up by kneading my stomach. Maybe then Harry and Michelle wouldn't secretly be afraid of me. Maybe then I wouldn't disappoint them. Maybe then I wouldn't have stabbed Jen with a fucking butcher knife when I was having a bad day. Maybe then I wouldn't have spent a year locked up in a fucking asylum for the criminally insane with pills forced down my throat every five seconds! I just want to be normal is that too much to fucking ask for!" There was a pause before Chamberlin cleared his throat.
"These feelings you have are-"
"Normal for someone who's been through a traumatic experience. Yadda-fuckin-yadda." Johnny said in an annoyed voice as he leaned back in his chair and looked at a picture that hung on the wall, it was a painting of a beautiful mountain scenery, he always did hold so much respect for those that could create something so beautiful with simple paints and horse hairs on a stick.
"You are lucky to have a friend like Jen." Johnny looked to Chamberlin with a confused look before he covered his hands with his face doing his best to hold back a sob that wanted to escape. Lucky to have a friend like Jen? The woman was a fucking saint, and he was a demon come to bring misery and death to all that was beautiful in this world.
"I wish I could take it back."
"Take what back?"
"Meeting her… If I took back that friendly smile and the polite introduction… Maybe she'd be better off not knowing me. She should have gotten a restraining order the day that happened… She shouldn't be so fucking understanding."
"She's a good person Johnny…"
"That's the problem! I stabbed her with a butcher knife! She was in critical condition for weeks she could have died!"
"But she didn't."
"And she apologized to me… She came into the court house looked at me from the stand, after making her statement about what happened, and apologized. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. After I got out, and before Vivian I apologized to her so many times and she just smiled and tells me not to worry about it. I wonder if she's just scared of me…" He said with a small laugh.
"No one's afraid of you, Johnny." He looked up from his hands with a serious look on his face, void of all emotion before he just smiled.
"Everyone should be."
