Beasts

by Black Kitten's Dream

Part 8

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It's strange how emotions can influence proportions. Enjoyment lets you forget one's size while fear enlarges it into something threatening.

Morino Ibiki was a big man by nature, and yet, Iruka had never noticed the differences between them so clearly until this very moment. With his head tilted back, Iruka looked up at the brawny man in front of him warily. Ibiki's angry face didn't bode well. The eyes were narrowed, and the cold gaze that bore into him from above let him taste for the first time how fear-provoking one single look could be. Dark promises were lurking in the depths of those eyes, unvoiced threats that were no lies because Ibiki had the power to turn them into reality in the twinkling of an eye.

Iruka blinked back nervously and with growing dread until he couldn't bear it anymore. He looked away, edgily searching for a safe point on the Special Jounin's vest to avoid further eye contact. The urge to take a step back was strong, but the wall in his back made it impossible. His mouth felt dry.

He felt like one of Ibiki's prisoners, right in the middle of an interrogation. Ibiki didn't speak. The man just glowered without revealing his intentions. Iruka wasn't surprised, though. As leader of the torture and interrogation unit Ibiki was an expert, and this silent treatment was a perfect way to screw someone up while pitilessly driving home that he was the only one who has absolute control over the situation. Iruka had to admit that the tactic was amazing. It had the desired effect on him in no time.

Intimidated, Iruka flexed the fingers of his right hand in a helpless gesture. He wanted to wipe away the thin film of cold sweat on his upper lip, but he didn't dare. His heart was racing. He sensed that he shouldn't meet Ibiki's glare again, that this would be seen as some kind of provocation for the angry man. Tensely, he licked his lips.

"I'm sorr--"

"Don't," Ibiki cut in with enough steel in his voice to make him flinch. "Don't make the same mistake over and over again, you damn fool. Think before you speak."

Frowning, Iruka stared at the button on the Special Jounin's vest. The insult was uncalled-for. Though Ibiki had the right to be angry with him, as a higher ranking ninja he shouldn't get personal while reprimanding someone. Still, knowing that he was in no position to protest, Iruka tried to voice his regret once more.

"I am sorry."

"You always are," Ibiki growled back. "And those shitty apologies are annoying as hell and not good enough anymore."

Iruka's face darkened in irritation. "If my apology isn't enough, then, please, tell me what else I can do."

"Though I have my doubts, you should have got enough brains to figure it out by yourself."

Trying to keep calm, Iruka gritted his teeth until the muscles in his jaw started to jump. "I'm dreadfully sorry. Apparently, I'm too stupid for it."

"I'm not surprised."

Iruka's patience snapped and his glare met Ibiki's. "I've no idea what you want from me. For the last time, I apologize for calling all Jounin bastards. It was an inappropriate comment. At the moment I feel rather vindicated, though, and I dare say that the comment was more ill-timed than anything else. The argument was between Genma and me. Your presence was pure coincidence. You weren't supposed to hear any of it, shouldn't have listened to our talk in the first place. It was private."

"Ah," Ibiki sneered. "And here we go again. You wrap your remorse so nicely with lots of excuses. Pathetic, aren't you?"

Barely able to control his anger, Iruka balled his fists and hissed back. "Facts are hardly excuses. It's not my fault that privacy is a foreign concept for Jounin nowadays, and if you want to use something I've said in anger against me than I cannot stop you. Nevertheless, respect should be mutual and I will not put up with name-calling."

Scarred lips formed a smirk. "And how exactly are you going to prevent me from doing it, you wuss? Are you gonna flood me with tears or do you actually wanna solve this problem like a real man?"

Ibiki bent down until they were face to face. His voice was low; a mockery of Iruka's addressed lack of privacy.

"Come on, little girl. Make my day. I'll even give you the first shot."

Iruka glared into the scornful eyes. Face flushed with blood, he felt the heartbeat thumping in his temple. The thuds were a clear contrast to the sharp pain produced by the finger nails cutting deeply into the palms. Every muscle in his body was tense and his thoughts were running. Ibiki's challenge was tempting. No more futile talks that always left him on the losing side. He would finally be able to fight back, even if it was only for one punch. Ibiki would beat the living daylights out of him after the first hit, but he could finally prove that he wasn't some wimp. He would get back his pride, and Iruka wanted to accept the challenge so badly that he started to move.

"Yes."

It was only one whispered word, hoarse with triumph and excitement that brought him back to reality at once. Iruka jerked back when he refocused on the other man. Ibiki had his teeth bared in wicked anticipation. The man was waiting with unholy patience for him to make his move before it was his turn to strike back; to all appearances with the aggression of a pit bull terrier.

Stunned, Iruka lowered his gaze back to the button on the vest. A drawing, sinking sensation spread through his stomach, one he recognized immediately as shock paired with a strong sense of guilt.

"I'm sorry."

He breathed the words from the bottom of his heart, softly verbalizing what he had just comprehended. Ibiki was right. Not once had he apologized with all sincerity since the nomination for the Chuunin exam. Not to Ibiki, Kakashi, Genma, or any other Jounin. Firmly convinced that he was basically right, he had always made all kinds of excuses in the same breath. Even without vocalizing them, the silent justifications were in his mind all the time. He had turned every single apology into a farce. Hardly surprising that the Jounin were taking offense every time he made another one. Pathetic was the right word for him.

Some of their actions suddenly made sense, such as their continuing cold attitude toward him. Even Kakashi's forced discussion appeared in a different light now. Most likely, the Copy-nin hadn't really been interested in his opinion. Kakashi must have known that he wasn't aware of his attitude, and by making him talk about his objections and doubts, the Jounin had shown him that his apology was worth nothing as long as he wasn't sincere. In a way, Kakashi had toyed with him, maybe even enjoyed this game to some extent, but this wasn't important anymore. In the end he had failed this lesson spectacularly.

Kakashi should have taken into account that he just wasn't sharp enough to look underneath the underneath. Instead of seeing his own fault in this mess, stubbornness and self-pity had made him blind and deaf. He had merrily continued to put the blame on everyone else, and to top it all off he had been rude, disrespectful, and had made unfounded accusations. It was indeed remarkable of him to constantly accuse others of dishonesty when no one else but him had started this vicious circle. He was a dishonest man demanding honesty from others. The double standards of a hypocrite.

Iruka still didn't understand everything that had been happening in the last days, but one thing was certain. Even if he did apologize in all honesty now, they wouldn't believe him anymore. Not after all those times he had said the words so carelessly. Abysmal stupidity and mulishness had led him to where he stood now, with his fists almost raised against a superior.

Had he really been ready to have a fight with no one less than Morino Ibiki? Iruka smiled bitterly. Crazy was the fitting description for such irrational intention. Strange, that the man's aggression didn't amaze him as much as his own.

Dazed, Iruka saw from the corner of his eye how Ibiki reached for him. He wasn't surprised that the Special Jounin's patience had snapped, nor was he afraid of whatever punishment the man was going to inflict on him. Finally understanding and accepting his share in creating and even worsening the troubles of the last days, Iruka held perfectly still when a callous thumb grazed his ear, and only after the hand retreated again and something long and silvery suddenly appeared in his sight did he finally blink.

Caught off guard, Iruka took the object Ibiki was holding up. The senbon he was now warily holding between forefinger and thumb was still warm from the man's grip, and Iruka blinked up at him in honest confusion. There weren't any visible traces of aggression on the other man. Though still serious, the Special Jounin regarded him now with something akin to interest, and Iruka wasn't sure what to make of such unexpected change of mood. That the head of the torture department apparently had performed a magic trick on him by conjuring a weapon from behind his ear only heightened his bafflement. He was at a complete loss.

Timidly holding the senbon, Iruka felt endlessly stupid. If he read Ibiki's expression right then he was supposed to know what to do with the weapon, but he didn't have the faintest idea. The possibilities ranged from some bizarre peace offering to another declaration of war. Uneasiness spread through him, and he had to force his body to hold still despite the beginning twitchiness. The silence stretched, became awkward. Iruka cleared his throat tentatively to cover up the nervousness, and Ibiki smirked.

"I believe Genma wants this back."

There was a short moment of puzzlement before Iruka's eyes widened in disbelief. He turned around to the wall, and right there, centimetres from where his head had been and where Genma had punched the wall in anger was a small hole. Iruka gaped at it open-mouthed. He hadn't noticed the senbon so close to his head at all. Genma must have been angrier than he had thought, more like enraged.

Such an amount of anger wasn't good, it surpassed his worst fears. He already understood that some of the Jounin wouldn't be satisfied with a simple apology anymore, but Genma's case showed clearly how grave the situation really was. The thought that – just maybe – the furious Special Jounin had changed the direction of the weapon just in time before it could penetrate flesh and bone was frightening. However theoretical this thought might be, to have a senbon in the eye wasn't a delightful image, and, actually, the position of the hole did fit the theory amazingly well.

Iruka gulped, nervously eying the senbon in his hand. How angry was Genma really? And in case Genma was indeed as furious about his accusations toward Kakashi as it appeared right now, then what about the Copy-nin himself? Kakashi hadn't been that enthusiastic about him in the first place, and that was before he had started to question the man's honour. What would the legendary Jounin do now after hearing about the accusations? Quarter him?

"Move your ass, Umino. Sandaime's waiting."

Ibiki's deep, commanding voice startled him out of his thoughts. The Special Jounin was already walking down the corridor, leaving him with no other choice than to follow. Sense of duty let him stumble after the man without a second thought, but deep down Iruka was seized with panic. By no means was he in any condition for a meeting with the Hokage. His nerves were simply too frayed, and there were too many unresolved problems on his mind. He didn't even know if Ibiki was still angry with him. Right now, it seemed as if this latest clash had miraculously been settled somehow, but there was nothing he could think of that he had said or done to perform such miracle besides giving one more meagre apology. Was the argument really over for Ibiki, or was this just some sadistic foreplay entirely to the taste of a torture specialist?

Occupied by his thoughts, Iruka almost ran into the door Ibiki was closing on his way into a room. The big, heavy door showed him that he was already standing in front of the Hokage's office, and apparently he was expected to wait outside until further notice. Iruka didn't take offence; the man's behaviour was only rude at first glance. By choosing the side entrance of the office, Ibiki had refrained from leading him through the mission room again. He had saved him more embarrassment, and the closed door gave him time to gather himself for the meeting. Even if the decisions hadn't been made deliberately, Iruka was very grateful for them.

He drew a couple of deep breaths to calm himself and looked at the door to take his mind off things. Gradually, Iruka followed the grain and woodwork along to the right side of the door until he reached something metallic grey, and he glanced up the smooth surface, over straps of leather and black fabric to skin and a white animal mask with holes and eyes that were gazing directly into his own. ANBU.

Startled, Iruka swiftly turned back to the door. He stared straight ahead, softly chiding himself that he really shouldn't be surprised. ANBU was always positioned at the Hokage's door to protect Konoha's leader. It was perfectly normal for them to be here, but he hated it when they were just there, unnoticed until they allowed it. They simply gave him the creeps whenever they crossed his path. They were like deadly ghosts.

A cautious glimpse to the other side confirmed the presence of the second elite ninja, and Iruka realized with panic that he hadn't greeted them yet to properly recognize their higher ranking status. The best thing would be to catch up on it now, in case it wasn't already too late. Surely the stories about his disrespectfulness toward superiors have already made the circuit, and Genma's, Kakashi's, or Ibiki's anger was indeed bad enough. To have ANBU turned against him as well because he failed to show them proper respect would equal a worst case scenario he had to avoid at all costs. Iruka straightened up.

"Good afternoon, ANBU-san."

There was no response. Anxiously, Iruka gazed at the door. He wasn't troubled about the lack of reaction. ANBU weren't that talkative, known for only talking when absolutely necessary. What really made him worried was the ANBU on his right side who was still staring him down. Iruka could feel the shinobi's eyes on him, watching him closely through the animal mask. But why?

The ANBU made his skin crawl, and Iruka began to nervously roll the senbon between his fingers. What started as a rather unconscious act to calm his nerves let him freeze only seconds later. He was waiting in front of the Third Hokage's office like a bad boy about to get a scolding, and he was standing there with a weapon in his hand. Not good. Hurriedly, Iruka turned to the ninja.

"This isn't mine."

Iruka held the senbon high for the other man to see, and the ANBU gazed back, totally uninterested in his reasoning and helpful demonstration. Wide-eyed, Iruka turned back to the door. The horror of being considered as a potential threat to the Hokage rapidly turned into utter disbelief and hysterical denial about what he had said just now. It didn't matter whose weapon it was. The fact remained that he still had the senbon in his hand, and had his voice really been as squeaky as it had sounded to his own ears? Mortification coloured his face pink. He had just made a complete fool of himself in front of ANBU.

Barely suppressing a whimper, Iruka slid the senbon into his weapon pouch. He silently pleaded for Ibiki to open the door again, desperately vowing that he would do everything to just get away from ANBU. Suddenly, the man on his right side moved. The elite ninja turned to him the moment the door opened again, and Iruka grabbed the handle, wrenched it open and stormed into the room, slamming the door behind him.

Breathlessly, he leaned against the wooden surface, hoping that the door would remain shut. He had pushed Ibiki out of the way while entering the room, probably even closing the door in his face, but he didn't give a damn about it at the moment. Pretty much everything was better than a confrontation with ANBU. Except maybe with Sandaime, who regarded him questioningly from his place at the window.

Blushing, Iruka stepped away from the door to stand at attention. Fortunately, the Third Hokage didn't comment on his unprofessional and fairly odd behaviour. The old man turned back to look out of the window, smoking his pipe in silence for the next couple of minutes. As so often, Sarutobi exuded calm, and Iruka wondered what he had been so afraid of. He felt instantly at ease with the older man despite the difference in their rank. Sarutobi was strict but a good listener, objective and never biased. Most of the time, just like today, his office had a very welcoming and relaxed atmosphere. The pipe's smoke intensified the calming effect, and feeling reassured, Iruka watched the white whirls slowly rising in the air while the minutes went by.

"How are you, Iruka-kun?"

Engrossed in the slow motions and gently curved formations of the pipe's smoke, Iruka answered spontaneously and with natural honesty.

"My butt hurts."

Sandaime turned around, brows lifted in surprise and curiosity, and Iruka wanted to die on the spot. Blood surged to his face. He was aghast that he had just blurted out the first thing that came to his mind, and to top it all off addressing a very intimate subject even though the Hokage was the last person on earth he wanted to talk to about sex. But he just did, and Iruka hoped the earth would open and swallow him up before the old man could question him about the deeper meaning of his reply. However, this time Sarutobi didn't overlook his behaviour.

"Do you want to tell me more about it?" Sandaime asked, smiling.

Mutely, Iruka shook his head. Sarutobi nodded and continued to smoke the pipe, eying him thoughtfully until he spoke again with a graver expression of his face.

"I want you to have a training session with Hatake Kakashi."

"No," Iruka whispered, taken aback by the information. Louder, he tried to clarify his objection. "By all due respect, Hokage-sama, this isn't a very good idea. I don't know if you know what's been happening since--"

"This isn't a request," Sarutobi interrupted him sternly. "Your shift at the mission desk has been cancelled. Morino's waiting outside to take you to the training grounds. Don't disappoint me. I expect good results from you."

"But... Kakashi's going to kill me!"

"That's all. You're dismissed."

By turning back to the window, Sandaime signalled the end of the meeting. Iruka was speechless and pretty shocked, not only about the unexpected cool treatment. Above all, it was the order itself. There was no rational reason why a mere Chuunin, a school teacher no less should have a training session with the Copy-nin. Kakashi was vastly superior. The man would defeat him in a jiffy.

Iruka wanted to argue against the order, wanted to reason by telling Sarutobi about the chase where he had been hopelessly inferior although both Jounin hadn't taken it seriously. He wanted to point out that especially now, after he had seriously questioned Kakashi's honour with ill-considered accusations, the man probably might be too mad at him to still play fair. To spar with him now sounded more like suicide, but Sandaime didn't give him the slightest chance to make his objections, and left with no other choice Iruka obeyed. Stiffly, he bowed and walked out of the room.

Ibiki didn't pay him any attention, taking for granted that the younger man would follow obediently. And Iruka did. They took the shortest way right over the roofs and made it through Konoha in absolute silence. When they passed the city's gate, Iruka saw two of his best friends, Izumo and Kotetsu, who were guarding the entrance, but he was too preoccupied to greet them. He followed Ibiki out of the city and across the fields straight into the woods. Leaping from one branch to the next, the feeling that this would turn out badly got worse with each step he took. The foreboding came true far too quickly when a sign drew his attention. Alarmed, Iruka skidded to a halt on the forest floor.

Engraved in a tree trunk was the symbol of ANBU, and Iruka realized with a start that he was about to enter their territory. He turned pale. It was strictly forbidden for outsiders to enter this area. To violate this rule was a serious matter, trespassing would be punished. That Ibiki entered this place without turning a hair showed him that the man was a member of ANBU. However, Iruka was neither thrilled nor felt pride about this revelation. ANBU's members were kept a secret for good reasons. To let him in on it smelled like a trap.

Troubled, Iruka gazed after the other man. Ibiki continued on his way, unperturbed by his hesitation, and Iruka knew that he didn't really have a choice. If he didn't hurry he would lose sight of the Special Jounin in no time. He could only hope that this was still part of the Hokage's order, and that Ibiki's silent invitation was enough to justify his trespassing. Iruka was on guard as he followed the man deeper into the unknown woods. Ibiki had enough advantage to vanish from his sight from time to time, which set his teeth on edge. Minutes lapsed without anything suspicious, and then a white mask flashed through the leaves.

Iruka barely managed to keep on running without stumbling. The ANBU was on a level with him, moving at the same pace. Whether the elite ninja was observing his intrusion or just accompanying them wasn't clear. Both possibilities were thoroughly unsettling, and considering whose territory he had entered, ANBU's presence wasn't really as surprising as deeply unnerving.

Focusing on Ibiki, Iruka tried to ignore the other elite ninja so close to him. It wasn't easy, though. He caught himself throwing worried glances at the ANBU, and the additional adrenaline rush quickened his already rapid pulse. The way seemed endless as he followed the Special Jounin along a hidden path, and it came as a release when they finally arrived at a big clearing. Ibiki slowed down to stop at the edge of it, beckon him to enter the place. The ANBU disappeared into the woods again, and Iruka was on his own.

Right in the middle of the clearing were Kakashi and Genma. They were standing closely together, facing each other. Genma was talking to Kakashi, and Iruka had the uneasy feeling that they were talking about his accusations. Remorse let him bite his lips. Those were the same men who had accepted him no more than a day ago, who had gifted him with incredible pleasure and an offer to be part of their pack. The offer was still a mystery to him, but it didn't really matter anymore. He had managed to be back to square one after ruining everything again.

When Genma and Kakashi turned their heads to acknowledge his presence, Iruka made a decision. Last night, instinct had told him that he could trust both of them, and it was time to do it again. He would try to apologize for everything he had done wrong, and with a bit of luck he might even take the wind out of their sails before the training started. Determined not to waste any time Iruka made a step, and stopped again straight away. Though Ibiki hadn't given him any warning this was one of ANBU's training grounds. Consequently, there were hidden traps or other dangers created with highly developed techniques. Kakashi and Genma were waiting for him right in the middle of this clearing, so the lack of warning could be already part of the training to test his alertness and skills. Iruka eyed the ground closely, but even after a couple of minutes he still couldn't detect anything out of the ordinary. Warily, he looked back to Genma and Kakashi.

Both men were watching him curiously, Genma with crossed arms and slightly tilted head, and Kakashi with his brows raised high, hands casually in the trouser pockets. Apparently, they couldn't quite believe what they saw.

Cheeks burning in embarrassment, Iruka quickly crossed the distance between them. He took the senbon out of the weapon pouch to forestall any mocking comments by giving it back to Genma, but the Special Jounin just shook his head impatiently.

"Keep it. You'll need it."

Dismissively, Genma turned and walked out of the training ground without a second glance, squatting down at the edge of it to watch them with half-lidded eyes. Far from being reassured by the words, Iruka hurried to show his remorse to the other man with a deep bow.

"Kakashi-sensei, I apologize. Sincerely. For everything I've said, or done."

Kakashi's straight face remained unchanged. Not only was the Copy-nin completely unmoved by his stuttered apology, he even seemed to be annoyed about it. Iruka shifted from one foot to the other and was about to try it again with more eloquence when Kakashi suddenly closed his visible eye. Slowly, it curved up into that perfect happy smile, but when he spoke it was with a strangely purring, chilly undertone.

"Let's play hide and seek, sensei."

Iruka opened his mouth but couldn't make a sound. He had seen this particular smile on Kakashi's face countless times before, and like so many other people he had associated it with cheerfulness, satisfaction, or just overall friendliness. All those times, he had thought that this kind of smile was endearing, a boyish charm from an otherwise serious man. Now he understood that he had been wrong. Fooled by appearances he had overlooked one important fact. It's a smile where you don't see the eyes.

A cold shiver ran down his spine, and instinctively, Iruka leapt away from him. His heart was in his throat when Kakashi finally opened it again. The black eye was hard, devoid of any sympathy. Leisurely, Kakashi straightened up from his slouch. He took his hands out of his pockets, slowly raising them up into the beginning of a hand seal, and he said only one word.

"Seek."

Horrified, Iruka stared at the whirl of leaves Kakashi had left behind in the now empty place.

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tbc

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Hm, Kakashi's infamous eye-smile. I wanted to explain it at the end of the story, but it's more fitting now. In my humble opinion it's a parody of a smile. I can see many things in it such as 'don't fuck with me', 'screw you', 'piss off', or the good old 'you're dead' XD. Of course not every eye-smile of Kakashi is that extreme. Sometimes he does it to make other people happy, or just because it fits the social interaction. They're still forms of manipulation, though. Anyway, I believe when Kakashi truly smiles it's with his eyes open. Up to now, anyway. Okay, you can stop throwing stones at me now because I do love him, especially his eye-smile. It makes him a damn interesting man, thus the story called Beasts. :)

This chapter's dedicated to all the readers who asked me to grant Iruka a little break. And I did, didn't I? Apart from awkward situations nothing bad has happened to him. Ain't I nice? *smiles angelically* However, after this little trip into humour land the next chapter's going to be action again, i.e. let the games begin. *grins*

As you've surely noticed, this chapter hasn't been beta-read. Many thanks for all those awesome reviews and for your patience, and many thanks to all of you who are mercifully ignoring the grammar and spelling mistakes. *hugs*

I wish you Merry Christmas, a happy New Year, and hopefully we'll see each other again. :)

Love

Black Kitten